Why do people carry on when petrified?

[LEC]

This is a subject I was recently introduced to and I am kind of intrigued but it. But why do people ride if they are clearly s*** scared?

Classic scenario - having a meltdown at jumping a 70cm fence. If you are having a meltdown at the thought of jumping something - why bother doing it? why not do something else?

Why put yourself and the horse through this?

I am terrified of pigeons. Will you see me going out and buying racing pigeons. No way! You will also not catch me swimming with sharks or locking myself in a room full of rats just to overcome a fear? NO! In no other sport will you catch people doing something they are terrified about.

BTW I get nerves. Its normal to get nerves and I have learnt how to overcome them but I watch so many people who are petrified. Horses should be fun?

 

[Mickeymoo]

This is what I can't understand either. If I was that petrified I wouldn't put myself through the agony of riding. Don't get me wrong, I have jumping nerves, but its all part of the process I think.

There are a lot of bridlepaths round us and just hacking I can meet people that have the fear of god on their faces when you ride towards them.

I also ride and lead and that causes all sorts of issues for other riders. I often have to halt or squash up against hedges because they are sending terrified vibes to their horses.

If I was that scared I would find another hobby.

 

[showpony]

Loss of confidence is a big issue , & as someone suffered a severe loss of it a couple of months ago it takes time to rebuild it!
Yes I could have given up but did I want to?? NO I worked through my issues, had to push through mental blocks about jumping & couple mths on am jumping 1m + which I know isn't huge but its a start.

 

[MandyMoo]

I agree with showpony - I had a major confidence loss over the past 2 years and would nearly wee myself at the thought of doing a 70cm fence, however because I had previously competed up to 1m10 a few years ago and used to happily pop over 1m40, i was determined to get my confidence back. so yes, to begin with I was absolutely petrified of jumping again, however i just worked through it and I am now confident doing 85cm courses showjumping and hope to move up to 95cm and 1m05 soon - just taking it slowly

so i think people would continue when petrified possibly because they had previously done it and don't want to give up what they used to love so much? (I know I didn't want to give it up simply cause I'd scared myself) - or maybe they continue due to pressures from friends/family members??

 

[NorthDevonTraveller]

Mystery to me as well. Nerves are normal, especially when competing, but to be really scared and forcing yourself is daft and unsafe. The silliest reason I ever heard was someone saying they had to jump for the sake of the horse. Yes lots of horses love to jump, but I don't suppose they enjoy it much with a wreck on top. Go for a nice ride and then you can both enjoy the time together.

 

[TheoryX1]

Well if it scares the ***** ot of you, dont do it! Life is far too short. I had a nasty jumping accident on a youngster 8 years ago. I still break out into a cold sweat at even the sight of a cavaletti on the arena floor, and coloured poles freak me out. I cant jump in an arena, and seeing as one of my ambitions on my bucket list is to ride around a BE90 on Mini TX's mare, I either accept it will stay off the list, or I get some professional help with it!

However, as for hunting, I will jump huge walls and not care. Probably something to do with the amount of hip flask I have drunk, plus everyone is doing it, so whatever!

However, happy hacking has no fears for me, nor does ride and lead. I do also agree that I sometimes see the fear in some riders eyes when I go past them down various bridlepaths near our yard. My boy is as bombproof as they come and will walk past juggernauts, trailers, anything really, apart from friggin plastic bags. Now they are scary! However, with a bit of encouragement he does it.

I have to say, life is far too short. I know my limitations and I dont stress or fret over them. If I do decide to start showjumping again I will be visiting a good hypnotherapist first.

 

[Elsiecat]

A lot of things terrify me but once I overcome it, the feeling is immense Terrified of open heights, went up the empire state building. Terrified of rides, went on the big one. Scared of galloping, let my TB go on a long flat field.
Plenty of others but they're the ones off the top of my head. I've felt so much better afterwards

 

[Wheels]

There is some sort of accomplishment feeling when one completes something they are scared of.

I lost my confidence showjumping after a few bad falls. Totally irrationally I didn't lose it xc, just sj. It is hard to explain but I still loved jumping but it scared me. Once I started to dissect the problem and came to realise that it was just the take off point and the chance the horse may come to an abrupt stop that really bothers me rather than the jumping itself so I work on this as much as I can but it's always there in the back of my mind. Hopefully one day I will overcome it fully

 

[Jesstickle]

I had a crisis of nerve this summer (after 20 something years of being fearless). I was really struggling to hack, was no fun at all. I'm fine again now. I was hardly going to give up because of one little blip, that would have been mad. The only way to get through it was to make myself do it.

I love riding, it's something I've always done. I had a ****** year, I lost the plot a bit, but hardly a good reason to jack it all in or never hack again surely?

 

[ClobellsandBaubles]

I lost my confidence twice, still not the most confident person ever but still I try I like to push myself because like Tinselcat said the feeling you get when you succeed is amazing. So yes I will hack anything anywhere pretty much but the thought of a 70 cm jump does occasionally make me melt down and it's something I need to work at. I do enjoy the feeling I know I can do it but something in the back of my head holds me back some times and that can be incredibly frustrating. Overcoming that takes me some time but I can do it I know I can

Take the summer I worked at a jumping yard as a working pupil and had jumping lessons at least twice a week on different horses... one lesson in the field we were working on a course varying between about 60cm and 85cm and it included a water tray. I had never jumped one before and had a mental block thus the pony refused three times so I was told to carry on and jump the rest I was so annoyed with myself that I carried on from the end of the course all the way back round to the water tray gritted my teeth and jumped it it may not be a very big for some but that for me is an achievement and who doesn't like those.

 

[Cortez]

Beats me; if I was that scared I wouldn't do it, but some people put themselves through it anyway. I feel sorry for the poor horses as they do pick up on the scaredyness on top.

 

[brighthair]

Because horses keep me sane and I've achieved so much. Anyone flicking back through my posts on here can see my nerves before an Intro test. Now I'm schooling at Novice/Elementary level. I used to be petrified of just getting on, but 2 weeks ago I jumped for the first time in many years. Did I want to do it? No. Did I enjoy doing it and then jump it again? Yes!
I lost a horse, my horse of a lifetime and the fear came after that despite not being the bravest rider to start with. For me it's a lack of confidence from being told I'm not a very good rider. I'm changing that way of thinking, I am a good, sensitive rider with a lot of feel that can ride a medium horse and get a tune out of her (and she's not the easiest!)
Tough s*it if I'm a bit worried, usually now I just get on with it, and I'm hoping the more I do it, the more "normal" and less worrying it becomes

 

[Jesstickle]

I am terrified of pigeons. Will you see me going out and buying racing pigeons. No way! You will also not catch me swimming with sharks or locking myself in a room full of rats just to overcome a fear? NO! In no other sport will you catch people doing something they are terrified about.?

What if you'd been an avid pigeon keeper your whole life but in a horrible pigeon related accident you suffered a nasty injury. Would you just give up something you were passionate about or would you try and move on and get over it?

 

[AmyMay]

I think it's good to be challenged, but I suppose there are limits.

However, I'll never forget hunting a friends horse that for some reason I'd always been a bit nervous of. But I was offered the ride, and the chance of riding such an impressive hunter was too good an opportunity to pass up.

I vomited before mounting I was so nervous. Really if I could have got out of it I would have. Two minutes in the saddle, and my nerves vanished. Best days hunting I have ever, ever had. Within the first two minutes of moving off we had to jump over a wall - I just pointed and closed my eyes (I don't do walls.....) God, she was brilliant.

I'm so glad I didn't cave in to my nerves that day.

 

[MerrySherryRider]

I have nothing but respect for people who ride despite being scared. I watched a woman ride today, so frightened and despondent that yesterday she was in tears. Yet today, she got back in the saddle and tried again. That takes guts.

 

[PapaFrita]

I used to be terrified of jumping. I don't know why or how it happened, but suddenly I was scared. I knew I DID enjoy it (I had done lots of SJing as a teenager) and wanted to get my nerve back, so I had some TFT, got a sympathetic instructor, and eventually got over it. I don't think I'll ever be jumping 1.60m, tracks, but that's fine
Conversely, I really really don't like hacking in any kind of traffic, even though PF is rock solid, but I'm happy to give that up.

 

[MotherOfChickens]

In no other sport will you catch people doing something they are terrified about.

not true-I used to teach scuba diving, we had a fair few come to try it that couldn't swim because fear of the water (most places used to make you do a swim test but not all resorts used to!). I couldn't work out at the time whether to think they were brave or off their rocker.

 

[Foxford]

Because the not-carrying on is scarier than doing something you're terrified of!! I think fear is a bit like having a normal goal - it's something to work towards. Like others have said I have nothing but admiration for people who will give it a go.

If I felt my nerves were affecting my horse I'd ride something else for a while and get someone else to ride him, just so we didn't go round in a vicious circle with it.

 

[imr]

I definitely understand trying to get through a loss of confidence. What I do not get is the people who have always seemed scared!

 

[xMoodyMarex]

I think I must be mad haha, as I find that being absolutly petfified about doing something, makes me want to just get on with it even more! around year ago, I was petrified of riding through open fields (due to many many bad experiences!) However I just had to get on with it, as no menage to use instead. For a few months I just hacked on the roads, and avoided fields completly..this just led to the fear getting so out of proportion though and I got fed up of getting so nervous all the time at the thought of riding in an open field...even the thought of it was bad enough! I decided to just throw myself in at the deep end, and just do it...it didn't turn out anywhere near as bad as I'd been thinking it would. Now a few months down the line (with a different horse) I happily walk, trot, canter, gallop and jump the odd log through open fields on my own and in company...something I thought would take a very very long time! I owe my current horse the world...she's brought all my confidence back, and much much more.

 

[Gingerwitch]

I suppose though there are two types of scared:-
1.Scared because you have never done it so dont know what its like
2.Scared becuase you have done it and know what can go wrong

I dont know whats worse ?

 

[kerilli]

some interesting viewpoints. I suppose as a naturally confident person on a horse (who, like Lec, avoids situations which would scare the bejeezus out of me - hence i won't even paddle in the sea in South Africa, I'm so scared of Bull, Tiger and Great White Sharks) I just can't understand people who are terrified, who shake from head to foot just walking around the arena, choosing to put themselves and a prey animal through it. Unless the horse is brain dead or totally oblivious it has to notice, no? Doesn't seem fair at all, quite apart from the risk of setting it off by clutching at it. I've seen this and it's rarely successful...!
I agree that there are different types of nerves too... I always got nervous before doing a big course but that was because I didn't want to screw it up in case the horse got injured (or worse), I wasn't terrified for me. And for a while after a major injury (knee being rebuilt, in my case, both times!) I was a bit worried about the horse playing up and my knee not coping with the possible consequences... so, not as confident as before, but not terrified either. Last time it took quite a while before I stayed relaxed and laughed when a horse shied or jumped about... in the interim I got quite addicted to having a neckstrap to grab...!
But if I was ever genuinely terrified to get on a horse, I'd give up and just pet it on the nose and give it a polo. I can believe that there's euphoria at beating your fear and 'winning', but I still don't fancy it...!

 

[Lolo]

What if you'd been an avid pigeon keeper your whole life but in a horrible pigeon related accident you suffered a nasty injury. Would you just give up something you were passionate about or would you try and move on and get over it?

This. I love riding, I love jumping, I love hacking out and going for a canter. My dream is to go XC schooling again.

I am however, ****scared when I jump. Always. These are tiny 2'3 fences and I need hand holding and encouragement on the kindest horse around to feel brave enough. But I used to love it all and it was a really unlucky situation that made me this way.

I think you have to decide whether the happiness at the end is worth the terror at the beginning. For me, it is. I've been battling on for nearly 11 years after the confidence loss and hit my peak with a horse I trusted totally, who helped me get back to jumping 3' courses. He was PTS and I pretty much quit. Now, I occasionally ride and accompany my sister out hacking mostly. She makes me jump the logs and makes me canter in the open or down tracks (my biggest fear is cantering in open spaces, or down tracks where I can't turn) and once I'm going I love it. It's just the bit where I have to ask the horse to canter takes a while for me to achieve.

I think you need to end up at the place where the idea of cantering is enough to reduce you to floods of tears and trotting poles seem like the biggest challenge you've faced to know the feeling of why you keep going. It's hard to explain.

 

[Equilibrium Ireland]

I've spent much of my adult life riding in a professional capacity. Galloped horses for 12 years and now start young horses. I have no fear of the babies. None. Never a moments bother. While galloping, now and again, everyone would go through periods of less than confident. Could be that you hadn't fallen off in ages and you start thinking about it. Could be, as in my case, you have a huge wreck/accident that leaves you seriously wondering if this is what you want to do in life. Since its how I paid the bills I had to get over it very quickly. That is not easy and you have to deal with the safety for not only what you're riding but the other riders on the track. Scared gallop people can make very bad judgement calls.

Thing is if you've never had a horrific accident happen while riding you have no idea what that must be like so no point in being snarky about people. If you've never seen your friends, actual friends, paralysed, deal with traumatic brain injury, or die, hard to imagine what that feels like. Also hard to imagine how it plays on your mind.

For my part, I don't get scared jumping. I do however hate that I may not be good enough and that I will let my horses down. I fear I will make them less talented than they actually are because I feel I'm useless. Not getting hurt. I made my peace with that years ago.

I had a girl in her early 20's come to me last year. Her father sends us ponies to break. Good big nice looking ponies. He explained early on he wanted his daughter to ride again as after 2 big falls she was terrified. I told father I had no idea if that would be possible on horses we were just starting. Explained how scared rider on very green baby could be a disaster. Flash forward one year and she's been riding all the ones we've just broke here and at home. She is riding confident and the ponies have all improved. She's flying all over the place even in big open fields which she swore she'd never do again. I spent a lot of time with her helping her to process the fear and to not let it get to her once in the saddle. So maybe some people just need someone who won't look down upon them and just give them some tiny confident words to help them through.

Terri

 

[ArcticFox]

I don't know really. maybe people feel they should be advancing all the time and feel pressured to leave their comfort zone.

Imho, its not a problem if 70cm or 80cm is your comfort zone, if the thought of making you jump higher either makes you want to cry, or brings you out in a sweat there is nothing wrong with sticking to what you enjoy. after all horses are too expensive not to have fun on.

 

[hayinamanger]

I love you, Terri

 

[cruising_for_you]

I've had melt downs, most pony riders, unless on push buttons have had melt downs, i think it comes part-and-parcel with moving up.
The worst one I had was when I was in my 2nd 1m. I was in a league, it was the final, but as i'd only ever jumped 1.m ages before the ffinal, i didn't think i had qualified for 1m. I was planning on doing the 90cm final. Then it turned out you had to compete in the final for the highest category you had jumped.
I went in petrified, because I hadn't planned for 1m. You don;t kick and it gets worse, and worse. You don't want to stop because that's failing, and you know you must complete the course, or you'll never want to do it again. But if you finish, you'll of conquered the height (in my case 1m) If not, next 1m round you attempt you will be petrified once more.

 

[Willeeckers]

I've never been a confident person, I always used to hide at the back of the group when the jump poles would come out towards the end of my lessons as a kid!! I then was lucky enough to ride a couple of amazing schoolmasters, ponies and horses, that helped so much I willingly jumped 1m30 (just as a one off mind!!) and was confident enough to school round a 1m10 course.

The last (and first) horse I owned was naturally a nervous creature, very spooky, tense and big, think 17.2 WB capable of 180degree spins on a sixpence with no warning (the big grey in my album pics) a bad combination from the off looking back now. I can think of many an incident of me sat in tears too frightened to do what needed to be done but equally frightened to accept defeat.

Over the 3 years I owned him we gradually came to an understanding but I never fully trusted him and often rode in a pair of draw reins (very bad I know) to insure I could have some control if the monster spook gremlins came back, a vicious circle me nervous of the spooking/naughtiness him picking up on my nervousness and playing up to it. Funnily enough I never actually fell off him when he spooked, ripped all the tendons in my arm when he caught me out once and I bent my hand back to my arm as it slammed into his neck but never actually fell off!!

Despite all this we did manage to compete at Elementary and schooled to M - A/M level, it was only after I sold him and I rode something else I realised just how much he had slowly destroyed my confidence. It was a lack of time and money that eventually dictated his sale, looking back now we should have parted company much sooner but sometimes its so hard to see when your in the middle of a situation.

 

[Cortez]

I'm still fascinated with the pigeon injury scenario.........

 

[LEC]

I used to be passionate about rugby but gave up because I was only half the player I used to be. I screwed my knee up and after rehabbing it for a year I always had a mental block and a fear it would go again. So rather than be half the player I could be I walked away from a sport I loved and found another sport.

I would always choose rugby over horses BTW. I played to a very high level and was absolutely absorbed by it.