Why do people have to be so horrible?! warning: this may be a bit of a rant

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sazzle44

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Basically, I'm 17, I have a cobby type on loan, who I've brought on from barely being able to trot circles to easily (and fairly succesfully) jumping 1m10 sj, BE100's and Elementary dressage. He's only 14"2 and bred to pull a cart so it's been quite a treat to find all this scope. I'm more than confident that he'll go further than we have so far. As all my competing is done on a shoe-string budget, I only bother entering if I think I have a good chance of being succesfull (doesn't always happen, but he's a good boy and tries hard) I'm always very supportive of people on our yard and try to be encouraging and positive. So why oh why can no one say anything nice to me?! :( None of them ever manage to say good luck, even when it's blatently obvious I'm going out, they can't ask how I got on & if they do they can never ever say well done. They all have to pooh-pooh everything I do, if I go for a lesson with a trainer, they've been to a better one. If I compete somewhere, they've done better. There's even one woman who makes this huge deal over how her old horse has a bigger tail than my old pony...I don't even care that much if it did, it isn't a competition! I have never ever come home from a competition and waved my rossettes in people faces, just quietly get on with it. :o
I usually try so hard to rise above it, not let it bother me, but after today I'm really getting fed up of it. I've just spent 20 minutes being told my horse is dangerous XC and it's rediculous to think he'll go round a Novice and I'm sooo brave or just plain stupid to go pre-novice on him. Cobs shouldn't event, it's only for TB types, especially these ponies. I'm deluded to think we could be succesfull BSJA (although I went to our first show at the weekend and got two rossettes...) and I'll just embaress myself. and the gem, my mum is knowingly putting my life at risk allowing me to go XC on him :eek: and she should be ashamed and shouldn't be allowed to teach (she's an instructor and is very safe and sensible) My supposed friend then went on to tell me that she'd never put her children on him because he clearly has no scope and is dangerous and she'd hate it if her kids came to harm which I obviously will because of such a useless pony...
I'm sorry for such a massive rant and whinge, but I'm getting so upset and fed up about it :( it's so unneccesary, even if they do think it, even if it's true, why say it in such a harsh way? I just don't understand why people can't be happy for other people doing well and vice versa...
well done if you read it all, you're welcome to some cookies :o
 
They are jealous. Find yourself another yard and well done for all you've achieved.

I'm lucky. Everyone is wonderfully supportive on my yard.
 
No one on my yard would dare say that to other liveries!! Its your horse at the end of the day, who cares what you do on him and whos place is it to judge. Mabye as well as rise above it you could remind people your 17 so hardly a child so its your decision as to what you do with your pony not theirs. Or just smile sweetly, nod and walk of muttering about how utterly horrid they are under your breath :p
 
Urg, they sound horrible! I get similar comments about Ned, the horse I ride.
I don't get any comments from people who ride at the stables with me, but when I go to shows, I can see everyone looking at him and judging!
I think the horse community can be rather cruel sometimes D:

I hope things get better for you :D
 
Snowysadude said:
No one on my yard would dare say that to other liveries!! Its your horse at the end of the day, who cares what you do on him and whos place is it to judge. Mabye as well as rise above it you could remind people your 17 so hardly a child so its your decision as to what you do with your pony not theirs. Or just smile sweetly, nod and walk of muttering about how utterly horrid they are under your breath :p
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I think that's part of what's bugging me, I'd never in my wildest dreams think of saying something like that to someone. Perhaps if I really thought it was dangerous I'd try it in a more tactful manner. But it's not as though I'm qualified instructor or competed to a high level, so who am I to say anyway?

Bobby Boy said:
The best thing to do is go out and beat them:D

Good luck with all you do and have fun:)
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haha or would that just anatognise them more?! :rolleyes:

[deleted user] said:
They are jealous. Find yourself another yard and well done for all you've achieved.

I'm lucky. Everyone is wonderfully supportive on my yard.
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and I'm trying, hopefully once I've got a job I can move him there with me...hopefully :o
 
Probably because people are jealous - If you enjoy him and he enjoys it (I am sure you know his limitations) then you go and enjoy him and rise above.

And fwiw I think its presumptious of your friend to consider you'd even let her kids sit on your pony - maybe you should nicely say that he is a very capable horse and benefits from capable riders anything less just wouldnt be in control - obviously thats why he would be dangerous for her children!

Oh and well done!! ;) xxx
 
I feel for you, that sucks :( Sounds like you've done an incredible job though, which they can't take away from you!!

Have you asked them why they think he's so dangerous? It sounds like it's just jealousy, but might be worth gritting your teeth and asking for a sensible, insult-free conversation in case some constructive criticism can actually be found in all the abuse!! If they just think you're going too fast, or he jumps too close to fences or whatever, maybe it's something you could bring up in a lesson? If your instructor is happy that's not the case then it's all good, but if your instructor can see where they've got the idea from it might give you something to work on, or even better let you both explain why these idiots are wrong!!

Sometimes it's much easier to appease egomaniacs, thank them for their good advice and promise to consider it, although you might wear your back teeth down gritting them :rolleyes:
 
Well.....you have just described a classic case of pure and utter JEALOUSY! Hahaha! I say go for it, the more you succeed with him, the more annoyed they will get! We get it all the time from when we were at a livery yard and now 3 months after we have left we're still getting it! It used to get to us a lot but not anymore, you just have to learn to laugh at their ridiculous comments because if they were true, you wouldn't be out competing and doing as well as you are! They just suffer from a huge case of green eyed monster disease because they could never acheive what you have with him in a million years. Keep going, and if I were you...get waving those rosettes in their faces! :p
 
[deleted user] said:
They are jealous. Find yourself another yard and well done for all you've achieved.

I'm lucky. Everyone is wonderfully supportive on my yard.
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^^^^^Completely right, just silently move yards, that'll give them time to re-evaluate their lives and actions when they see you at Grassroots 2012!

I really feel for you, but you must rise above it. I'm the same age as you and luckily I found a great yard where everyone is very supportive. Keep your head up high and go for it, you'll come out better than those lot.
 
You find this happens when pony/horse starts doing well.
Would do as you're doing and rise above it cos with folk like this you'll never win.
They'll find some reason why your doing well -other than hard work/talent of course or miscall you and/or horse.
As long as you are both healthy and happy just enjoy your pony and take pride in how far you have taken pony so far.
 
Jealous!

Well done for doing such a good job with a pony not necessarily bred for it. All the more reason to be proud.
 
thankyou all for being supportive :) it's just really started to get to me, especially since I lost a lot of confidence on him XC (which wasn't him being dangerous, we were both just inexperienced and c*cked up!)
I think if she tries it again I might ask her why she thinks that. Wonder what she'll come up with...
btw; in case anyones interested, here's my scope-less, dangerous little man...
picture.php


Jumping the novice hedge at MK just 6 months after I got him (he was 8, just uneducated) I know my position is terrible, but I was fairly new to riding something like him
 
premiersporthorsesuk said:
Well.....you have just described a classic case of pure and utter JEALOUSY! Hahaha! I say go for it, the more you succeed with him, the more annoyed they will get! We get it all the time from when we were at a livery yard and now 3 months after we have left we're still getting it! It used to get to us a lot but not anymore, you just have to learn to laugh at their ridiculous comments because if they were true, you wouldn't be out competing and doing as well as you are! They just suffer from a huge case of green eyed monster disease because they could never acheive what you have with him in a million years. Keep going, and if I were you...get waving those rosettes in their faces! :p
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This and good luck!
 
sazzle44 said:
btw; in case anyones interested, here's my scope-less, dangerous little man...
picture.php


Jumping the novice hedge at MK just 6 months after I got him (he was 8, just uneducated) I know my position is terrible, but I was fairly new to riding something like him
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Cant see the picture but I am interested - he sounds fab!
 
Take no notice, laugh it off, they are not worth getting down about, be proud of yourself and carry on doing what you enjoy no matter what level it is or what horse it's on.

Just proves you don't have to have a fancy sport horse or a TB etc if people can't handle that, that's their problem!
 
I'm jealous :D

I'm afraid it does appear that some people are just like that. I'm 17 too now but I got my first pony at 14. My parents weren't at all horsey at the time (my Dad now has one too ;) ) so I used to walk to the yard and do my pony by myself 95% of the time. I had awful trouble with the people there, they threatened to call welfare several times because my pony apparently had every rib showing and was severely underweight. They were really nasty to me.
 
Sounds like pure snobbery with a pinch of jealousy and bitchyness to me! Your yard does sound horrible though (the people that is). Must be a big slap in the face for all these people to have bought really expensive horses that they cant ride and compete to then look at you doing so well with a wee cobby thing. I love cobs, great for doing a bit of everything most of the time and its a special feeling when you become really successful on them. :)

Are you letting them speak to you in this way? Maybe they need a good telling off so they know they cant talk to you that way, though i know it can be difficult as yard life is akin to the school playground. Or, next time they start speaking to you like that again, simply turn around and walk away, they will get the message.

Well done to you and your cob! :D I would cheer you on. Not all people are like this in livery yards btw, ive been to plenty were the people are very supportive and excouraging.
 
picture.php


has that worked? I'm useless at putting up photos lol
But thankyou all for being so nice, I do really start to think I deserve it somehow, or I've done something similar to them
 
They're suffering from green-eyed-monster syndrome. Just go out and do your own thing, have fun and silence them when he goes out and does all the things they say he can't. I used to get the same thing when I first started to jump Arabs. 'Arabs, can't jump'. 'He's too small.' 'He goes too fast.' I was so successful that people still marvel at my horse's achievements and he's been dead now for twelve years. They soon stopped making these stupid statements when they saw what he could do. Don't let them get you down. It's your horse and your life so do what you want and don't let anyone hold you back.
 
MaisieMooandCometToo said:
I'm jealous :D

I'm afraid it does appear that some people are just like that. I'm 17 too now but I got my first pony at 14. My parents weren't at all horsey at the time (my Dad now has one too ;) ) so I used to walk to the yard and do my pony by myself 95% of the time. I had awful trouble with the people there, they threatened to call welfare several times because my pony apparently had every rib showing and was severely underweight. They were really nasty to me.
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haha it amazes me that anyone would be, I kinda fell on my feet with him and am very lucky :D but yes, mines completely under-weight and over worked...

Archina said:
Sounds like pure snobbery with a pinch of jealousy and bitchyness to me! Your yard does sound horrible though (the people that is). Must be a big slap in the face for all these people to have bought really expensive horses that they cant ride and compete to then look at you doing so well with a wee cobby thing. I love cobs, great for doing a bit of everything most of the time and its a special feeling when you become really successful on them. :)

Are you letting them speak to you in this way? Maybe they need a good telling off so they know they cant talk to you that way, though i know it can be difficult as yard life is akin to the school playground. Or, next time they start speaking to you like that again, simply turn around and walk away, they will get the message.

Well done to you and your cob! :D I would cheer you on. Not all people are like this in livery yards btw, ive been to plenty were the people are very supportive and excouraging.
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I do try, I think a few of them have noticed my eyes glaze over when they start telling me how their horse got 50% in a prelim...but then I feel so rude and have to listen intently otherwise I worry they'll be worse! I think it may be time to just shove my ipod in and smile nicely but deafly!
Of course, if I actually told them, they would go running to the yard owner saying I shouted and was aggressive/rude/nasty just because I say I know my pony and it's nothing to do with them! just can't win with some people...:o
 
You know that saying, 'water off a duck's back'? Well imagine that applies to all these comments, let them slide over you and keep smiling, smugly. I think you've done very well and will continue to do so. Sod these people, you know how well you've done, so keep reminding yourself. Don;t bother expecting it from these folk and if it continues to bother you, then I would move to another yard. Go girlx
 
Well done to you for bringing this horse on so well - at your age that is very impressive.

I would echo the other posters that these people are probably jealous and feel very threatened and want to bring you down. We have the same type of people on our yard, who are always making a song and dance about how they bought their dressage horses from Spain or Germany, and throwing lots of money at trainers, shiny lorries, saddlers etc. And you know what?? They get thrashed by the local farmer's kid on a hand me down cob, and wearing her older sister's johds and jacket.
 
My little coblet does decent sized stuff and no one would be mean about her! I've had people I don't know ask if she is ok because she has stopped in a class and everyone knows no matter how much like a disadvantaged turkey I ride (I suffer from nerves really badly so ride ok at home, honest, just goes out the window at competitions) she doesn't stop! I am starting BE on her this year but like you all BE and BS has to be on a ticket and a budget.

Try to ignore them chicken, you have a pony to be proud of and they probably don't.

Simples.
 
The hardest thing in life is coping with other people, horses are easy! You are doing great, just do what makes you happy & blow small minded people, see them for what they are. Change yards if you want but there will always be someone, jealous or a know all type, some people are never happy unless spoiling or decrying someone else & they do it all the more if they think it has an effect, they are a little bit like the 5 year old bully in the playground.. If you are happy with your horse & vice versa then what others say doesn't count, get out there & beat them.
 
Move yards! That sounds horrible, on my yard everyone is supportive and if someone does well the whole yard is happy, we all compete at different levels in different displinces but we'd never treat someone like you've been treated.

Your boy sounds fab!

Next time they pick on him for being 14.2hh remind them of Marion Mould and Stroller, he was 14.2hh and won the Hickstead Derby!
 
I know exactly how you feel! I used to get the same at the old yard i had my horses stables at. I would go out every weekend and do fairly well and every weekend, somehow, somebody would put me down.
But when they went out once in a blue moon, the yard would practically have a party and bow down to them.
Conclusion- JEALOUSY!!!! let them get on with their petty lives, you sound like your doing amazingly!
 
When I first moved to my yard I was amazed by the support and kindness of the people there, I was really a stranger to them but they all helped me settle my horse in, helped when he was having serious napping issues, helped me do dressage/xc/jumping etc etc!! Now 3 years on I'm off out most weekends doing something with my beautiful hairy 14.3hh cob!!! No one has ever told me he can't do it (most are amazed at the scope he has and are jealous of how utterly brave and honest he is!!) as we leave it to a chorus of 'GOOD LUCK' and 'Enjoy'.

Basically what I'm saying is your yard sounds awful and I'd start looking round for somewhere new with people who will share in your enjoyment and be pleased for your fabulous little horse and what you've achieved together.

They sound like a bunch of jealous people who obviously spend their time watching you and all the fun you are having rather than getting out and doing it themselves.

They've made me really angry for you...why can people just not be happy for someone else??:mad:
 
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