Why do people think no one can look after their horse like they

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minkymoo

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Why do people think no one can look after their horse like they can?

This is a thread about many threads really, but I always see that people who need to sell a horse always think that no one will be able to look after it/ride it/love it like they can?

I understand a bit, I had a tricky decision at the beginning of the year where I had to sell 1 of my 2.

1 was a 14 yo anglo arab who was a bit quirky, could be sharp, wasn't confident jumping (with me anyway!) and not great to hack on his own but was well schooled and a nice chap.
2 was my unbacked 3 yo who was my dream horse.

So it was decided that no 1 had to go, 2 horses & a baby was just too much. I was so worried about selling him, would anyone understand him like me? Would they be ok with his spooks and silly behaviour? Would he be ok having a new owner after 7 years with me? Would he be happy?

A lovely woman came to see him, tried him, loved him & bought him. I recently got an update from her as to how they were getting on. They'd been hunting 3 times - which is something I NEVER thought he'd do, they go for 14 mile hacks - something I know he loves as its a few miles more than we did, and has taken him on a few sponsored rides flying over rustic jumps - again, something I NEVER thought he'd do! The photos were amazing, he looks in superb condition and really happy.

So, it goes to show, that there are people who can look after your horse as well as you and sometimes go on to do things with them that can prove you wrong.

I'm thrilled that I was so lucky to have found a new owner for my 'quirky' horse that tbh, is even better than the home he had with me.

I felt as though the pair of us had come to the end of the road together and he needed to move on. There seem to be so many people who don't seem to be able to accept this though, if you & your horse can't do the things you want them to, why not move them on & let someone else do it? Is it not the fairest thing to do for your horse? Why are people so reluctant to let go and then keep an unsuitable horse?
Thoughts?
 
Well, exactly! I suppose nobody likes to think of themselves as providing anything other than the "best" home for their horse, but the truth is MOST people look after their horses to the best of their ability which means that there is every likelihood that whoever buys your horse will in fact do a better job.

Of course there are horror stories, but that's the luck of the draw, and why you should be careful in the pricing, advertising and placement of any horse you are going to sell. Horses are bought and sold every day, fact of life, and don't forget, once YOU were the buyer.
 
My first pony was a narky fell pony type. She pulled faces, used to buck me off a lot of the time, do some stops when jumping sometimes, She was far from honest. When i outgrew her, she was 17. A mum and 2 girls came to try her, and she was a pig to hack! And she never is! Was sooo stubborn. was throwing some bucks in the school (Not nasty- just being a typical mardy pony) and they fell in love with her. Bought her 5-6 years ago now? And i have them on facebook and she is so well cared for, so loved, i couldn't of asked for a better home for her! They will have her and love her until her days are over and it is the best feeling ever.

I think most sales do go well, and have happy endings but no-one ever reports the good stuff back,only the bad so that makes us all think every sale is going to be bad.
 
I have one who is an absolute millstone round my neck and I've made the conscious decision not to sell and will eventually probably have to have destroyed.
She is beyond quirky, we call her the bipolar pony and my Stressage trainer has described her as untrainable. She can work beautifully, she can jump like a stag, but she does nothing consistently ever. She has a terrible competition record because she throws her teddies out under any kind of pressure.
Her tantrum tricks include vertical rears without warning, spinning, napping, planting, reversing and lying down. The only thing she doesn't do is buck or bolt. She will turn for no reason kick off for 40 minutes and then continue as if nothing has happened, you can't ride her through it you just have to sit and wait her out and hope she doesn't put you both in danger.
She's difficult on the ground, she's difficult to load, she has sweet itch, sarcoids and RAO because of her conditions and she's not relaxed she couldn't just be a field companion.
I have spent 8 years and tens of thousands of pounds pursing every possible physical, training and alternative avenue to try and resolve her issues. She is not really any better when ridden by my trainers.
She's never been badly treated I bought as a newly backed 5 year old from a friend, I'm reasonably experienced and have produced 4 other youngsters who are all respectable citizens. She is lovely to look at, well bred, scopey, talented, completely disinterested, uncooperative and border line insane. If I tried to move her on I wouldn't lie so who would come to see her? Who would take her even if she was free?
I don't keep her because I think no one else can manage her. I've kept her because she's my responsibility she doesn't stand a good chance of finding a reasonable home. At the moment she is turned away, I have been doing some ground work and light ridden work but she is only 13 and I can't justify the potential expense of keeping her for another decade plus as a field ornament. I know we've reached the end of the road but I'm not quite ready to make the call yet.
I should have got rid of her in the first year but IMO there's no such thing as a forever home, she's such a pain she'd end up being moved on and the risk of ending up god knows where is too great for her. Plus I love her so what can you do :)
 
I so agree with that.My old horse who I did love ended up in a better home for him than I could have provided and my present horse is in a better home than he had before I think.One thing I really regret was struggling for so long with a horse that was unsuitable for ME.
 
It's a weird horsey phenomenon that is all too common unfortunately.
I suffer from a mild case of it when having my horse on full livery, lol!!

That said I also recognise when I cannot give a horse what it need, recent case in question being one I loaned out earlier this year - he has a far better quality of life in loan home than he would have got if I kept him myself.
 
I think it's ridiculous tbh. I've had horses for 23 years and seen hundreds of we'll looked after ones and only 1 or 2 whose care was lacking. The odds of sold horses moving on to good homes are very high.

Eta- I agree about the full livery comment though ha ha. Even though it's not true, it's just a control issue I guess 😬
 
It is when emotion comes into it, when you feel for a horse in your care then you will always strive for it to have the best care and as you are selling the horse generally to someone unknown, it is natural to assume that they just won't meet your own standards. it is easier to part with a horse that you don't have a bond with, I made the decision last year to part with my shire x as the relationship just wasn't going to work and he was at the time on a top class yard (which we were paying through the nose for) and had amazing facilities and the lady that ended up having him had a rented field with homemade stables and no real ridden facilities, I didn't know her from Adam and what level of care she would give him but she seemed nice enough and handled him ok. I keep in touch with her and he's doing amazingly well and is very well loved and is doing far better in her care than he ever did in mine and I am OCD about caring for my horses, I have holes in my own shoes but horses get best of everything.

It is the same for most people, I have full liveries on my yard and when they arrive they are down every day worrying about their horses care and very quickly they have seen the level of care we give and now don't think twice about not coming down for a few days/weeks as they know their horses get the best care and have everything they need.
 
I agree with the question to some extent but how many stories are out there about horses being bought (saved, rescued) from not very nice owners.
My worry is that my horse may well be sold to some nice, caring and wonderful person, but what happens if, when, the horse is sold on.
My horse is safe, well mannered, but won't jump, walk over poles, can't be left tied up, can't be shod on his backs and other little quirks that don't really bother me but can be bl**dy annoying to someone else.
 
I used the think this about my horses, however, I have come to realise, that yes other people if they had my late boys or my current mare in their care would treat them as well if not better than i do/did.

What i do believe is that they wouldn't immediately be able to understand or have experience of these particular personalities to "know" them as well as i do, for example my late boy had colic once, nobody else at the yard had noticed he was under the weather, i knew the minute i laid eyes on him, all was not well, this is down to time and expericence with each invididual horse/pony in my opinion.
 
I think it is knowing their individual 'persnalities' e.g. my girl loves sleeping flat out (imagine playing dead) but I could tell instantly when this was bad lying down just by for want of a better word expression..I see J70 has already basically said this..great minds... :D
 
LittleRocketRider said:
I think it is knowing their individual 'persnalities' e.g. my girl loves sleeping flat out (imagine playing dead) but I could tell instantly when this was bad lying down just by for want of a better word expression..I see J70 has already basically said this..great minds... :D
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LOL great minds indeed :)
 
My best example would be in the summer, getting on my girly for a training session before a big competition the next we, within 5 minutes of warming up I suspected it and by the second jump I said I'd better put her on oestress, my trainer thought she was looking fine in her work but i recognised the minor alter in attitude and action because I was familiar with her.

Ones capabilities may be equal if not better...but knowing ones horse is a different box of frogs. :)
 
There are a lot of things that are considered perfectly acceptable in horse keeping in general that I wouldnt like for my horse. Therefore, if I can help it, I like to keep my horses for their lifetime :)
 
I have to admit i do suffer with a bit of this!!! My mum taught me all about horses but in my eyes she still doesnt do it right! Actually thats not fair she does it right she just doesnt do it like i do! I think thats the key its not that someone else cant care for my horse well enough its that its not the way i do it! I feel differently about selling thou if a horse isnt right for you or you have come to the end of the line with that particular horse then move it on no harm in that at all.
 
The ONLY person on the planet I trust with my quirky trad. is my best mate Wendy who actually looks after the blighter BETTER than I do............ :) She loves him to bits, treats him like royalty yet without giving in to him one little bit (firm but fair, exactly what's needed), and quite happily fiffs and faffs around with all his lotions and potions plus loves brushing out his mane and tail! Plus relishes the challenge of his quirky and outrageous nature.

IMO I don't think anyone else could cope with his quirkyness. He would test the patience of a saint as one minute he can be a real sweetie-pie and butter wouldn't melt in his mouth; the next minute he's throwing his teddie in the corner and having a good old strop - and he really does know how to wind people up! The best thing to do with him is ignore him basically, he's such a "Rooney". He's also very high maintenance: has sweet itch plus lots of white hair & pink skin, so needs covering up in the summer and cleaning off plenty in the winter!!

I loaned him out a few years ago and in spite of all my "instructions" on the contract, he was turned out without his SI rug on the first weekend he was there, which was a really hot midgey heatwave, and rubbed himself raw, taking away all his lovely mane and tail in the process. I was devastated. So no......... nobody else IS capable of looking after him properly!
 
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there are very few people who i would trust with my horses, when i go on holiday i pay my instructor to do them as she is one of the trusted ones.
I am afraid I see the way some people keep there horses and that is simply not the way i wish to keep mine.
I have tried full livery and I cant bear it! especially when i have to go simply to check they have hay and water and clean stables.
I can't bear it when people lay in bed all morning on a sunday and just turn up at lunch time, or just turn up and ride without bothering to feed that is simply not the way to want to keep my horses, now if i sold them that would be up to the new owner to decide how best to care for there horse.
 
Mine would be limited to someone who could guarantee they live out as she does not stable, would have company 24.7, would wear front boots due to pedal osteitis NOT shoes which add concussion, who only lets 2 people do her feet etc

Think she's best with me ;)
 
One of ours, Thomas, had had 7 homes in 6 years before we had him. We promised him when he arrived, he'd have a home for life. We got a new lorry after he'd been with us a couple of months and we thought we'd treat him and Crumpet to a hack around the forest, first outing for Thom so we thought we'd keep it simple... It occurred to us we had no idea how he loaded, so earlier in the day we popped the ramp down and walked him on. You could visibly see his face melt, his head went down, his eyes went dull, and he stood on the truck looking the saddest I've ever seen a horse look, completely ignoring his hay net. It was like he'd gone "oh well, it was nice while it lasted, here we go again"

I think it would break his heart and soul to be sold on again no matter how good the home was.

Luckily he has an AWESOME home as do all of mine :D
 
TigerTail said:
Mine would be limited to someone who could guarantee they live out as she does not stable, would have company 24.7, would wear front boots due to pedal osteitis NOT shoes which add concussion, who only lets 2 people do her feet etc

Think she's best with me ;)
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Yes, most people think they are doing the best, but how do you know someone else wouldn't be able to sort the stabling issue, get someone else to do her feet, find a better therapy for the pedal osteitis, etc. etc? Quite a lot of "issues" go away with different regimes, and there is always someone better than us out there. The flip side of this is that there are always worse out there too, but that's just life.
 
Cortez said:
Yes, most people think they are doing the best, but how do you know someone else wouldn't be able to sort the stabling issue, get someone else to do her feet, find a better therapy for the pedal osteitis, etc. etc? Quite a lot of "issues" go away with different regimes, and there is always someone better than us out there. The flip side of this is that there are always worse out there too, but that's just life.
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Sorting out the stabling issue would be a case of flooding her and just making her do it, watching all th spark that is her go to nothing. Thats not better - yes she would be stabled but its not better.

Riding wise def always someone better but day to day? nope
 
TigerTail said:
Sorting out the stabling issue would be a case of flooding her and just making her do it, watching all th spark that is her go to nothing. Thats not better - yes she would be stabled but its not better.

Riding wise def always someone better but day to day? nope
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Sorry, but that's just blind. There are many, many ways of tackling behavioural issues, not only "flooding" and "making" a horse do something. This is what I mean: just because YOU can't do something, don't assume that no-one can. I have my own way of doing things, but continue (after 45 years+ of working with horses) to marvel at the things I've never seen/thought of/tried that DO work, and it does still happen.
 
saddlesore said:
I think it's ridiculous tbh. I've had horses for 23 years and seen hundreds of we'll looked after ones and only 1 or 2 whose care was lacking. The odds of sold horses moving on to good homes are very high.

Eta- I agree about the full livery comment though ha ha. Even though it's not true, it's just a control issue I guess ��
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I disagree. I see many many neglected horses each week. The odds of a horse going to a home which doesn't provide a satisfactory level of care are a lot higher than you may think.
 
I agree with this statement totally. You get the same train of thought in the dog world. Nobody could love, train, exercise etc my dog the way I do. "Ive thought of and tried everything and nothing works blah blah blah" As for horses, it never stops amazing me how one horse can be one way with someone and then totally different with someone else.

Cortez said:
Sorry, but that's just blind. There are many, many ways of tackling behavioural issues, not only "flooding" and "making" a horse do something. This is what I mean: just because YOU can't do something, don't assume that no-one can. I have my own way of doing things, but continue (after 45 years+ of working with horses) to marvel at the things I've never seen/thought of/tried that DO work, and it does still happen.
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I can think of many people who could probably give my horse a better life - however, I doubt very much if any of them would want her.
Anyways, she's Family - and you don't sell your family, you love them warts and all (and in the case of my horses I just adapt my ambitions to what they like doing, it's been the same with all of them)
 
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