Why do people want to own cobs?

How very dare you - Shy would make a cracking ticca masala thingy !!! I hope you are not being horse-ist there to try to drive his value down :eek:

I am already on edge as Findus just are not responding, and to be honest, nor are tesco, Aldi, morrisons, etc, and NOT EVEN GINSTERS !!!!!!!!!

Maybe I should contact Bernard Matthews ?
 
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Natch said:
A cob walks into a pub. This involved a lot of effort, since he had to trek across 3 fields, and as we all know boys and girls, cobs are fat and unfit. In fact, by the time he got to the bar, he was quite out of breath. We also know that cobs have short legs, so he has to stand on tip toe to see over the bar, and he does so, waiting to catch the barman's attention.

Barman: "Blimey horse, you look parched, what can I get you?"

Cob: *whease* "I'm not a horse" *cough*

The Cob has a coughing fit and the barman waits until this is over before continuing.

Barman: "Yes you are, I can see you are, you've got horse written all over you. What do you think you are then?"

Cob: *splutter* *Whease* "I'm a Cob, mister. And I'll have a pint of larger, if its all the same to you" *cough cough*

Barman: "Right you are then sir, one pint coming up, but i'm not believing you're a cob for one minute. You look like you're a little hoarse to me"

:D
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Natch said:
Just for MMW :D

Bob the cob, Totilas and Kauto Star are in a pub one day, having ordered dinner,* comparing notes on their various achievements. It has to be said, that sadly Totilas and Kauto are a little bit unimpressed by Bob's list.

*Some lah de dah posh salads for the picky eaters, and a burger and chips for Bob.

Totilas: "I've won the very greatest competiton in Dressage. I can prance like a good 'un. How high can you lift your knees, Bob?"

Bob: "A little bit. Not as high as you Tote." *Bob speaks with his mouth full, munching some crisps*

Kauto: "I've won more steeplechases than you can ever dream of. How fast can you rub, Bob?"

Bob: *shrugs* "I can do a bit of everything, K. I'm not as fast as you though." *The sound of Bob's voice is a little muffled as he scoffs some peanuts*

Totilas: "Its Totilas if you don't mind, commoner. Well can you jump then?"

Bob: "A little bit. About 3 ft." *The sound of Bob's voice is muffled because his mouth if full. The portion of chips they have ordered to share had arrived*

Kauto: "Insolence! You won't call me by my stable name, You're nowhere near quality enough to be my stable mate. And there's no way you can jump 3 ft, and certainly not at any speed."

Bob: "Tell you what K, I bet I can. I bet you your dinner I can jump that bar over there, whizz around the block, doing some fancy high knee action in between that Edward Gal would be proud of, and be back in less time than it takes you two."

Totilas and Kauto exchange glances, and say in union "You're on!"

Bob has disappeared. All that remains is a breeze of wind which disturbs the candle flame for a moment.

Amazed that they didn't even see his departure, Totilas and Kauto rush over the bar, and out of the door, sure that they will see Bob having fallen flat on his face at any second. There is no sign of him outside. Forgetting to even prance, they race around the block, still no sign of him, and finally they get back to the pub, where they find Bob sat calmly at the table, which is full of plates which promise they did have food on, but are now empty, bar the odd bit of salad garnish.*

*Cobs don't eat salad. Its too healthy.

Bob: "Alright chaps, what took you so long?"

Totilas and Kauto can't understand it.

Kauto: "But... but you can't have done that. It must have been a trick. We know it was a trick."

"Yup, I hid under the table. Can't believe you chaps fell for it. And dinner was served while you were out, it was lovely chaps, but I prefer cuisine de cob to any of your fancy lah de dah choices." *Bob lets out a satisfied Belch*

"But.... the breeze when we thought you'd gone.. what... I mean how?" Spluttered Totilas, flustered at having been conned by a cob, and unwilling to believe he could have been that stupid.

"Ah, well that was easy," said Bob. "I'll show you."

Bob lifted his tail, and let rip. This time, the resulting wind was strong enough to blow out the candle on the table.

The end.

Epilogue. Kauto gropes around in the darkness, finds a match and re-lights the candle. By which time the barman has brought over the bill, and Bob really is nowhere to be seen. Cobs are not only all rounders, but they are smater than other horses too ;)
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Ok... got to page 91 and just had to quote these :P
 
I finished the whole thread..... and all I learnt was that cobs are feisty, bad mannered, spooky, bolshy, can go at 45 mph, taste great in burgers and lasagnas ... they are also too hairy! It brings back bad memories of a friends cob that had loads of hair... I ended up clipping and hogging a Welsh Sec D, the hair traumatized me.


So after reading 191 pages (How do you alter your settings) I still don't understand why people have cobs?
 
Natch said:
Q:What is fat, round, has a hairy chin, hairy legs and big feet, is clumsy, bargy, rude, untrainable, inelegant, farts a lot and eats you out of house and home?

A: Your mother-in-law

:D
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... still my proudest moment :D In fact, still THE BEST moment on this thread, ever. :p
 
Shy is going for the "twig flavoured" look....

IMAG0159_zps3f5d2b11.jpg
 
Our local mobile kebab van man called out to me when I was riding a really fat hairy cob past his van

(imagine a Borat-type accent to this):

"Hey, when your horse dies, will you give him to me please? I make a lotta kebab outta him. He has a lotta meat on him. Very nice."

(For those of you who know me and where I live, this was NOT the current mobile kebab van man but the previous one, about 14 years ago).
 
Shy is actually demonstrating unusually high intelligence for a cob. He is going for twiglet flavour, and thus ensuring that nobody will want to eat him! :D
 
Did you know?

This thread has the 2nd highest views in The Tack Room.

(1st was the Parelli vs Robert Whitaker stally thread)

Well done Shils!!! :D
 
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