Why do so many people assume that only they can give a horse a good home?

Doormouse

Doormouse

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I had probably better go and get my tin hat for this one but it has been bugging me recently so here goes.

A lot of the threads I read on here basically say 'I can't really manage my horse but I can't sell or loan because who else would give them a nice home'.

I remember saying something much like that a few years ago and someone turned round and said 'What an arrogant remark, what makes you think you are the only person in the world who can give horses a good home?'

Very good point, I was doing the horse no favours because he was frightening me but I believed that because he had been through a bad time as a youngster that no one else would understand him the way I did. Rubbish, I sold him and he went to someone far braver than me and is now a fantastic team chaser and very happy indeed.

I think the horse world could do with more people like the one who told me off!
 
If I thought this I wouldn't have bred 2 to be sold to eventing homes for people to have fun on. Not what I want to do to any great level, but when given a fabulous Kiltealy Spring ISH broodmare, not going to be breeding anything else but an eventer.
 
Some horses are just not going to be an asset to whoever buys them.

OK, someone else might manage a tricky horse, but really, most people with the experience needed to manage the tricky horse would rather buy something unspoiled for the same value.

The horses for whom there is little market for are horses past 10 who aren't much good at anything. You might have bought it when it had potential, that window has passed and if it hasn't become a schoolmaster/success in life, you are doing well to find a good home that is looking for what you've got, unless you're talking bottom end money, which can often, but not always, mean bottom end homes.
 
This is so true, I've heard it so many times as an excuse for not facing reality.
Sometimes a problem is only a problem for the owner. Sometimes a rider and horse just don't click together. Sometimes its an act of selflessness to try and match a horse with the right person.
Once watched a lesson with a superb horse ridden beautifully, the instructor remarked on the quality of the horse and asked where he got it. 'A freebie', he replied, had a couple of owners and it basically was unrideable. Bucked, reared, you name it, it did it'. Instructor said,' Oh, had any problems then ?'
'Nope, goes lovely.' the the rider replied.

I had a great horse that I never clicked with in the saddle, she was a lovely ride, but we didn't gel together. Sold her to a 13 year old who gave the girl, her confidence back. Horse has blossomed too.

Latest horse of mine was too much of a handful for all who came to view her until I tried her, she was a diamond,perfect.
Owning a horse is like a marriage, if all the elements aren't there, then maybe another partner will enable the horse to be what it could be.
 
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horserider said:
This is so true, I've heard it so many times as an excuse for not facing reality.
Sometimes a problem is only a problem for the owner. Sometimes a rider and horse just don't click together. Sometimes its an act of selflessness to try and match a horse with the right person.
Once watched a lesson with a superb horse ridden beautifully, the instructor remarked on the quality of the horse and asked where he got it. 'A freebie', he replied, had a couple of owners and it basically was unrideable. Bucked, reared, you name it, it did it'. Instructor said,' Oh, had any problems then ?'
'Nope, goes lovely.' the the rider replied.

I had a great horse that I never clicked with in the saddle, she was a lovely ride, but we didn't gel together. Sold her to a 13 year old who gave the girl, her confidence back. Horse has blossomed too.

Latest horse of mine was too much of a handful for all who came to view her until I tried her, she was a diamond,perfect.
Owning a horse is like a marriage, if all the elements aren't there, then maybe another partner will enable the horse to be what it could be.
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Totally agree 100%
 
Absolutely agree, one of my best horses ever was a freebie - unrideable due to bucking, rearing napping etc... Granted he was always a bit sharp, but he was AMAZING!!! Jumped anything, went anywhere, suited me perfectly, but not his previous owners... one mans trash is another man's treasure :)
 
This is very true, although I have been part way guilty of this myself! I have a horse on loan, that is not ideal. I dont want to send him home though as the owner will do nothing with him, and he will be stuck in an awful lot. Not my problem I know but i prefer to keep him for the time being.

I put a pony out on loan to some complete novices once, and they looked after her fantastically, really really well, (with me keeping an eye of course not that I had to do anything)

I suppose it is arrogant really, but people only say it becuase they care I think.
 
Brandy said:
This is very true, although I have been part way guilty of this myself! I have a horse on loan, that is not ideal. I dont want to send him home though as the owner will do nothing with him, and he will be stuck in an awful lot. Not my problem I know but i prefer to keep him for the time being.

I put a pony out on loan to some complete novices once, and they looked after her fantastically, really really well, (with me keeping an eye of course not that I had to do anything)

I suppose it is arrogant really, but people only say it becuase they care I think.
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So have I - and the same, but it could have gone either way, pony being pony. Brilliant home from heaven, fantastic family and superb situation but she'll be outgrown soon :( Then I'll be on the lookout for another loanee ;)

A horse is coming to us today who stands the owner at little enough to be sold down the road because it has terrified the rider to death. Lovely horse, wrong jockey (ATM) and it only needs two or three of these in succession before meat market is the only route. We'll have a good try at sorting it as the owner has realised, fairly soon, that they are beaten (their words, not mine) but not everyone has the wherewithal (and, TBF, face) to hold their hand up and say, " I'm out of my depth." This owner isn't a stupid novice (as opposed to a listening and intelligent one - see my loan pony people above :) ) either, so the issue will be real. Often it's a money thing and a few hundred quid lost on each downward step soon sees a few grands worth of horse standing at a few hundred quid. Then you get adverts for horses noone will touch with a bargepole because they are on for so little money! See the many threads on here about 'why is this horse so cheap?'

There are soooo many good ponies and horses out there, we don't need to put up with something which isn't perfect (at best) and totally unrideable by us (at worst). It's a throwaway society, life's cheap and death is an easy (though not always immediate and humane) way out.

And none of mine are for sale. Ever.
 
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WHile there are many people who can offer a horse a good home, there are equally many who offer a bad home. There are many horses who are not looked after (not necessarily to my standards) and abused. I would hate to think a horse of mine would end up as some I have seen. Once they are not yours you have no say anymore. I have only sold one horse
and while she did go to a good home and I kept in touch with the new 0wners, she has now been sold on and I try not to think about it too much. Hope to keep my present one till one of us pops our clogs!
 
Latest horse of mine was too much of a handful for all who came to view her until I tried her, she was a diamond,perfect.
Owning a horse is like a marriage, if all the elements aren't there, then maybe another partner will enable the horse to be what it could be.
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Same with my boy. By the time I went to view him he had been reduced down to £1000 from a lot higher. I hacked him down some lanes and over a duel carriage way and by the time we got back to the yard half hour later I had fallen in love with him! Paid a deposit and picked him up the week later.
 
Alma summarised my feelings exactly: 'While there are many people who can offer a horse a good home, there are equally many who offer a bad home.'

I'm not arrogant enough to think that no one could offer a better home than I can, but I know that there are far worse out there. While there are plenty of individuals I would trust to take care of my horse, I don't have the same faith in the public at large!

I don't think there is any shame in admitting that a horse is not right for you and selling, not if it means that the horse has a chance at a useful and happy life, and the owner has a chance to find a horse they enjoy. But I know that I would find this a very difficult decision to make, and hope I never have to.
 
Nice.... another dig at me!

I know my boys could have a MUCH NICER home somewhere else, I just dont want to disturb them by moving them again due to their bad pasts that was all.
 
Omarkiam said:
Nice.... another dig at me!

I know my boys could have a MUCH NICER home somewhere else, I just dont want to disturb them by moving them again due to their bad pasts that was all.
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Not really - yes tbf some of your thread jogged my memory on this but you are not alone and I am not poking at any one person in this thread.

You can see from the replies that very often it is a case of horse and rider not necessarily being suited and that both are not enjoying themselves in which case by possibly selling or loaning both parties could be far happier.
 
I don't think this was intended to be personal or aimed at you. The original post was about what someone had had said to her, nothing about an unmanegable horse. I know you've had a hard time on another thread & am not on any side, please don't think everyting on here is aimed at you, as it will make you feel even more down.Chin up, I have pm'd you. Let this go, it is totally unconnected to the problem you are having at the moment & is, as far as I can read it, genuine coincidence.
 
Tbh I've probably convinced myself that no-one other than my family could give our mare, Lou, a good home. I know it's not actually true, but I think it's what happens when they've been with you for donkeys years :p
 
Sorry everyone but Iam guilty of this "Must go to good home only"
Even horses' I buy to sell I quiz people on the phone and if I dont think they sound nice or will give it a good home I wont let them view!! Sorry I cant help it.
For example- Around cubbing time last year a lady rang about a 17.2hh hunter I had for sale, he was lovley so nice to hunt and look after, anyway a lady rang said it was for a client of hers and horse would be kept with her on hunter livery, fair enough sounded ok until I asked her about her care and managment, she told me the horses never get turned out in the winter and are in 23 hrs out of 24, and pretty much "in" for 6 months, I politly told her not to bother coming to view, I could not of lived with myself letting him have that kind of a life.
Also 2 years ago I had a hunter for sale a man came all the way from Newquay to view, told me on phone what a good rider he was, he only jumped a 2ft X pole socked him in the gob and landed very heavy on the cantle of the saddle, poor horse was very tolerant of the mans bad riding, he turned into the middle of the school and said "yes I will have him" I had to say "no you wont" and promptly told him to get off the horse.
I would not sell my sole to the devil.
But Iam such a padantic person anyway, I know once they have gone I have no control over there care what so ever, but I have peace of mind if I think Ive asked all the relevant questions and its a kind home.
 
Steeleydan said:
Sorry everyone but Iam guilty of this "Must go to good home only"
Even horses' I buy to sell I quiz people on the phone and if I dont think they sound nice or will give it a good home I wont let them view!! Sorry I cant help it.
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I think this is the right attitude to have, you are doing them a favour as well as the horse. I recently purchased a pony which the owners were concerned with finding a good home for over everything else. The fact that after seeing me ride the pony (in gale force winds I might add!) they thought we were a good match gave me alot of confidence that we will be, after all who is better to judge suitability than the people who know the horse best?
 
What is a good home?
Lots of love and cuddles v lack of food/ excess of food
Nice clean stable and smart yard v turnout in a muddy field
Smart and clipped v hairy and mane unpulled
Lots of time spent schooling and doing high level events v varied work, hacks and local shows
Horses weight working level v shiney,glossy overstuffed bordering on laminitic
Animal given the best of everything but kept on their own v being kept in a herd and having the odd injury.
Above all my worst home is the one where they love their animal to bits but do not seem to realise the horses needs have no relation to what they are giving it. But they luv their horses so much and they spend so much time/money with it they must be right.
I have bought a pony who's stable was a garden shed and I would say he came from a good home.
 
I'm sure I'm not the only person who could give mine a good home, but they have problems that I would not be prepared to pass onto anyone else! They might go to someone nice, but equally I might condemn them to a life of endless horse sales and bad homes. They have a good life and I've had fun with them over the years (as well as frustration!), so that's good enough for me.
 
You could say that about me - I have a physically healthy 15 yo cob who has been retired for 5 or 6 years.

I don't think it's arrogance or pride that stopped me passing him on, I have asked the question of myself btw, just an honest realisation that there are many horses that much easier/more satisfying to own then him, that they are bloody expensive pets/toys and that while there is undoubtedly someone out there that would enjoy him that the chance of him being passed on in a downward spiral while trying to find that person is too high.

Put it this way, when the news of Spindles Farm broke I thanked god that I wasn't one of the people that was wondering if my boy had passed through there because if I had sold him it was very likely that he would have ended up there or somewhere like it.

It's very different if you're talking about a personality clash or talented but quirky type that have a value, that's usually enough to keep them safe(ish).

The way I look at it is that they are my pets, my responsibility and if I cannot give them a fighting chance of a good home (including when they are sold on, as most horses are) then tough luck on my part, I keep them.

No offence to people who do sell on btw, I'm just someone who feels that responsibility is lifelong when it comes to animals!
 
Hmmm, I think you learn as you go along, I used to think that plenty of folks would care for horses as I do, till I finally sold one of mine and got a call only 6 months later from someone that had bought him in a bad state!! This experience alone has made me realise that no-one on the planet will be trusted to buy a horse I love again, even if I have to downsize to keep them. Additionally with Nancy being so big, and not having a great start to her early days, I have promised to give her a home for life, even if I couldnt ride her. Shes only 7 now and I'm 37 so we will grow old together (i hope!)
Its really difficult and my experiences have scarred me. That said when i read the posts on here, I know there are sooooooo many peeps who do give their horses the very best they can.
 
I have a 14.2hh pony. He is 20 yrs old and I wish I could ride him, my fault not his. I am sure he would enjoy more work. I will not pass him on due to his age. He has daily turn out and in at night, which he enjoys, god help me if I am late to fetch him in! I am not arrogant enough to think no one elsewould give him a good home but he is settled and I couldn't bear the worry of 'is he alright'. I also would not cope with being shunted from home to home.

Jane
 
Having sold before, it is a worry for a seller so I think its a fair thing to worry about, tis just a bit OTT! I'm sure most people don't mean it literally, but when I sold my last mare I was really worried where she would go, would she be loved and looked after as well as I had done? Thankfully she is treated like royalty but people have different understandings and beleifs about how horses should be treated and I have seen a LOT of people who I wouldn't want looking after my horse, therefore it is a reasonably valid point/worry, just a bit over the top as otherwise you'd never end up selling anything!!!
 
I have a homebred, brilliant but quirky mare. A really brilliant jumping pony who would love pony club or even just hacking about but I dare not try to sell her, or even put her on loan. The last time I tried that she got half way into their trailer, decided she didnt like a trailer (she has only ever travelled in a wagon) and promptly reversed out at 100 miles an hour nearly squashing the little kids in the process. If its one of her days when she is over excited to go out when she is stabled she will rear and bounce on the spot in her eagerness to get away. So its not a schoolmaster type of childs pony. I am sure that there would be someone who could give her a safe, lovely home, but would they put up with her foibles? I doubt not and therefore here she will have to stay until either illness (hers or mine) dictates otherwise!
 
I have one horse who I would not EVER have sound.. he had too many medical issues which i beleive, arrogant or not, that I was the best form of nursing for him. He had cronic conditions, acute pains and infections. He was very high maintenace and he had some emotional baggage.

I would not have been fair on either Ted or the person who brought him to expect them to take on these problems, and therefore I keep him until it was time. You can call me arrogant and what not but I will fight my corner, noone else would have done for him. And thats my beleif ( that sounds really snotty.. but I dont mean it to be.. he as my boy. I could of never lived withmyself if i didnt know where he went!!)

Lou x
 
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