Why do time wasters make a hard decision harder?

Gingerwitch said:
Hang on - dont come on here posting about a "beloved" animal - when you can do something about keeping it !

I just wish i like many others had the choice to keep really "beloved horses"

I am not on about buying and selling of horses on a general scale but to the fact that she is having to sell her "beloved youngster". If it was beloved she would be putting up a darn sight better fight to keep it.

And the biggest time wasters around are those that breed without thinking through full their actions and winge about the fact she cant move on a 2 year old in one of the worst selling markets - just before the winter.
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People move on horses all the time, for various reasons...

http://www.horseandhound.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=560116
 
Gingerwitch - I actually spent yesterday worrying about you. I do wonder if you are suffering from depression or a post bereavement reaction. Please seek counselling for your own sake.

Flaxen - I'm glad it looks like you have found a solution for the horse. 1 problem down now you can think about the next one. None of us can tell you what to do in your relationship but I hope that whatever you do decide it works out well for you & your little one.
 
I am so glad you may have found a good home for your boy, I hope it all works out.

Please do try a specialist forum like Mumsnet for your OH problems. There is a lot of expertise there and they can advise and support you to pursue other options.
 
I'm so glad you came back Flaxen! I had no idea you were going through such a rough time, from the posts here I thought it was bad, but not that bad :O
I'm no good at comforting people, but I really really hope you're ok! Don't listen to the silly posts on here, you don't need, or deserve it. *hugs*
 
Good luck, at least you know where he is & that he will be cared for. If they've offered you visits they clearly intend to do right by him.
 
flaxen said:
I never asked to be judged or slated!

This is the first horse I have ever had to sell and being a new experience its one I never want to repeat.

Gingerwitch or whar ever your name is, you arent the only one to have had a horse die. 8yrs ago my jumping pony died from colic 6mths post colic surgery, we had been together for 10 yrs ( she was 13 when she died ) she was my world and my best friend. She had colic surgery on the monday and very nearly died on the table, then had myopathy and had an awfull recovery but made it eventualyy to her feet. 2 days after her surgery while visiting her my vet came out to tell me my fathers work had been on the phone to say my father had had a stroke while driving a 44t lorry. It was touch and go but he did survive although now paralysed, my pony kept me going while everything was upside down. She came back into work tho continued to have mild bouts of colic ( this is common ) and we went jumping again although she had lost some of her stretch so went at a lower level. We had to sell our house as insurance would only pay out on death and being paralysed my dad was no longer able to work.
House was sold 6mths after colic surgery/ stroke and we had a moving out date, went competing on the sunday and despite a long wait we won our classes. My pony was colicing on the monday morning and despite all efforts she deteriorated and gave up her fight and was put quietly to sleep in her stable at 11pm 26/08/2004 with me at her side.

2 days after this we moved out of our house forever and I was homeless and had lost the only hope I had left. There isnt a day goes by where I dont miss her and wish she was with me. Her ashes are on my bedside table and I hahve left instructions that they are to be emptied into my coffin when I die.

Onto the current situation:-

when I put my mare infoal I wasnt with my husband, my horses were my life everything I did and planned revolved around them, the foal was my future competition horse and wasnt going to be bred to be sold.

I also didnt plan or want a human baby, they didnt fit in with what I wanted to do in my life which was competing my horses and setting up an equine ambulance service in the north.

The only sure fire way of not having children is not doing "it" and wouldnt have been an issue for me but apparantly its expected and refusing oh of his bsaic human rights and then you get slated by family for saying you dont want a baby and its expected that you have it.

I spent my pregnancy worrying about my horses ( my mare was put down due to severe bone spavin and becoming unresponsive to treatment and then dislocating her hock while stressing ) I was ill the whole way through and was constantly in and out of hospital, I was then booked in for a section due to my health and almost died due to the hospital cutting my femoral artery, hence a longer stay in hospital and a very large incision to sew the ends back together again. The only reason im alive is because I was already under a ga. My baby also had problems and despite me saying there was something wrong it took them 9 weeks to work out what it was, in those 9 weeks we were at a&e and docs every week and if I got an hours sleep in 24 I was lucky, I was also trying to look after my 2 horses and trying to muck out from the time I was home.

It is not suitable up here for my boy to live out, its a very heavy clay area and wet, he is completly pink skinned bar his markings and wouldnt cope, plus no grass livery in walking distance and we get over a foot of snow. He is also a very intelligent horse who needs something for his brain to think about else he will amuse himself including pulling rails off and throwing things about.

I never said I hadnt been able to sell him, he had only been advertised a few days, I was complaining about the idiots who were ringing because he stands out due to his colour and markings but with no intention of actually buying him.

I now think I may have found a home for him where he will be doing what his breed excells at, the person is happy to keep in contact and if im ever in the area I will be welcome to visit him.

If I could keep him I would but his is the best option I have. I never spend any money on myself, we dont qualify for tax creditd or child care cedits as hubby earns too much but then he spends it all on his car, he smokes and drinks, has a monthly mag subscription, shoots and has 2 guns, eats take aways 5+ days a week and buys stuff on ebay.

The reason I didnt reply yesterday was my dad has come up for a few days to see his granddaughter and to cheer me up and my husband is being worse than normal ( hes on holiday for 10 days ) spends 12 hrs in bed then ignores us, he went to the pub all afternoon today and stayed out on the farm yesterday, he ignores my dad on a morning and didnt even hold his daughter yesterday.

I dont go out and read this forum on a night when baby is asleep and ive tidied up. Ive never come across such nasty people ( not everyone, the nice ones know who they are ) I have read every page. I will be asking to have my account deleted as have been bullied enough in the past to last a life time and assuming you are adults then certain peoples behaviour is appauling. I have enough on my plate without nasty minded bullies adding to it. You should be ashamed of yourselves!
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Flaxen you go girl, stating it exactly as it is and p**sing all over the nasty one's fireworks putting them well and truly out.

May I suggest (and it is none of my business, I only comment as you have written publicly on a forum) you use some of that energy now to throw your husband out - he sounds charming, NOT.

I too have read all of this thread, unusually for me as I have neither the time no inclination, and find it strange that those orchestrating such behaviour then comes on asking for help like nothing has happened, and that people are advising - those I guess who have not read this post.

Do not delete your account, why should you?

Good luck and great news about your boy.
 
Not sure which thread you are referring to, but I can guess which poster you refer too. And I think that suggesting they should be put in online coventry & their threads deliberately ignored is far worse behavior than anything they said. Pot & kettle springs to mind.
 
This has to be one of the worst threads I have ever read on here and no wonder horse women enjoy a bad reputation.

Ok GW was strong in her condemnation of the OP but given her own loss you can understand how she would fight heaven and earth to protect those close to her when in her mind the OP was giving up too easily. Loss can do that to you.

What followed has been the worst bullying on here I have ever seen, I've never ever felt the need to repeatedly call someone Vile over their different opinion. The post after post of disgusting personal attack on her has been painful to read.

You are a bunch of Hyena's closing in for the kill and I've never read anything on a forum so utterly shameful.
 
Gingerwitch said:
Sorry to be harsh - but when folks are loosing "beloved" animals that they would move heaven earth and go to hell and back a 100 times over - you really need to work out if it is "beloved" or not!

I would have worked 24 hours a day to find the money to pay for my big lad.

You choose 3 years ago to put the mare in foal, and you choose to do the same for yourself - so get off your butt, stop your winging and deal with the bed you have made.
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W0W!!
 
BBH said:
You are a bunch of Hyena's closing in for the kill and I've never read anything on a forum so utterly shameful.
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This astounds me as you have a fairly high post count.HHO has had,seen and done far worse than this me thinks.
I have been gobsmacked in the past at some of the nasty posts I've seen on here (hence why i rarely post TBH despite being a member for several years),this is tame in comparison.

The worst behaviour on this thread has been by GW herself.One bad day is forgivable but she insisted on coming back and not only going for the jugular again but also started talking in riddles trying to get people to doubt OP identity and situation.A case of if I can't get people on my side,I'll at least get them off hers it seemed,that's utterly shameful IMO.

I am as guilty as the next person of saying what I thought no holds barred (well actually that's not true there were several more choice words I would have liked to have said if I were not old enough to know better;)),but I really do feel on this occasion the tongue lashing was well deserved.

Would be the first person to give credit though if GW came back to apologise.We all make mistakes,it's being a big enough person to admit them that matters.
 
Deleted. Having read the whole thing . . . I regret contributing at all.

OP - very glad you found a home for your colt.

P
 
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devonlass said:
This astounds me as you have a fairly high post count.HHO has had,seen and done far worse than this me thinks.
I have been gobsmacked in the past at some of the nasty posts I've seen on here (hence why i rarely post TBH despite being a member for several years),this is tame in comparison.

The worst behaviour on this thread has been by GW herself.One bad day is forgivable but she insisted on coming back and not only going for the jugular again but also started talking in riddles trying to get people to doubt OP identity and situation.A case of if I can't get people on my side,I'll at least get them off hers it seemed,that's utterly shameful IMO.

I am as guilty as the next person of saying what I thought no holds barred (well actually that's not true there were several more choice words I would have liked to have said if I were not old enough to know better;)),but I really do feel on this occasion the tongue lashing was well deserved.

Would be the first person to give credit though if GW came back to apologise.We all make mistakes,it's being a big enough person to admit them that matters.
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Agree with every word of this, well said! Also agree with Littlelegs that sending anyone to Coventry is wrong. I think that people were originally horrified by the attacks on the OP, and answered them. The fact that this particular poster didn't seem able to judge when to stop resulted in several posters, myself included telling her what we thought of her behaviour. I stand by my opinion on that, and hope that she will see her behaviour for what it was, and apologise. :)
 
BBH said:
when in her mind the OP was giving up too easily.

Exactly, in her own mind! And when she was asked to look at the bigger picture she came back with more personal attacks, which were both unreasonable and unfair IMO.
I agree, she has her own pain to deal with, but off loading it on someone else who is already suffering is cruel and unnecessary. I hope she can find a way forward.
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Flaxen , I hope you are ok please don't get upset over this frankly bonkers performance .
Please look for support from your own family and friends your personal situation sounds very difficult and I hope you can see a way forward soon , I hope you have told a friend you trust your problems and are not confiding this on here because you find it difficult to admit it to a friend or family member if this the case please talk to someone.
I will be thinking of you .
 
I don't think it's worth deleting your account over thos although that's entirely your decision. However, I DO think you may want to consider 'deleting' your husband!!! :)

Ok, so maybe not delete as such but delete him from your life. You say you weren't even with him when you put your mare in foal so sounds like you got involved very quickly and married even quicker. From what you say I have no idea why you are with him. If I were you I'd be off now!! :)
 
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