Why do time wasters make a hard decision harder?

I am selling, I rspoke to someone last week, made arrangement to view this week, no call, no nothing, and I have paid for someone to give him some schooling lessons this week. They advertised for a suitable pony, but the ad has disappeared, I will know in future to take all details including phone number name and address. These free ad sites attract idiots.
 
FfionWinnie said:
Ginger witch that is totally uncalled for. You have no ideal of the op's circumstances. For all you know she could have a violent husband or PND.
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you what?!! :eek:

how have we come from a thread having a rant about time wasters to someone suggesting the OP might get beaten black and blue by her husband every night? !!

blimey, people do have imaginations! i think your comments may be more offensive to the OP than anything gingerwitch said
 
Why not look for work you can do with the baby? What's your skill set? Can you adapt to doing something from home? http://www.familyfriendlyworking.co.uk/

Why not get a sling and carry your baby while you muck out, groom or whatever, if the horse is sensible enough ie not going to misbehave I see no reason you couldn't do a fair bit of bombproofing and handling with little one in a sling, if you're not working you'd have lots of time. www.littlepossums.co.uk
 
apart from the posts by Gingerwitch amymay who has made no reference to the problematic (and frankly not very nice sounding OH). Just that the OP needs to stop winging and deal with her lot (rather than making what many would see as a sensible decision) and that the OP is turning her feelings for her horse off because she has a shiney new baby...

Anyone would think noone ever bought or sold horses.

Gingerwitch said:
You choose 3 years ago to put the mare in foal, and you choose to do the same for yourself - so get off your butt, stop your winging and deal with the bed you have made.
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Gingerwitch said:
Have you seen the sad news posted recently on here, the poor young horses that really are "beloved" whose owners would have done anything for and have been lost due to some horrid quirk of nature - not because someone has not thought their action through,

I cant turn feelings on and off, depending on the size of my purse, or when the new shiney baby comes along
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lula said:
you what?!! :eek:

how have we come from a thread having a rant about time wasters to someone suggesting the OP might get beaten black and blue by her husband every night? !!

blimey, people do have imaginations! i think your comments may be more offensive to the OP than anything gingerwitch said
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because the OP has posted previously so people have made some assumptions about the the sort of man he is, that might not be correct but he has certainly been portrayed as very controlling.
 
ester said:
because the OP has posted previously so people have made some assumptions about the the sort of man he is, that might not be correct but he has certainly been portrayed as very controlling.
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ah, well if the OP herself has insinuated as much then i apologise.

Im only remarking on this thread and haven't been through all the OP's back posts so didnt know there might be a whole other back story here.
 
lula said:
you what?!! :eek:

how have we come from a thread having a rant about time wasters to someone suggesting the OP might get beaten black and blue by her husband every night? !!

blimey, people do have imaginations! i think your comments may be more offensive to the OP than anything gingerwitch said
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If you look back at previous posts from OP, you will see that she is in this situation largely because of her OH's lack of support in all areas. I don't think she would be considering selling her youngster if he was a bit more helpful. :(. The poor girl sounds thoroughly down about the whole thing, and the awful comments about getting off her butt, having made her bed etc etc are unhelpful to say the least. Talk about hitting someone when they're down! :(.
 
I think its simple... the 'buyers' have noidea of your personal circumstances and the only part of your life they are interested in is the advertised horse. You have advertised it for sale and all sorts of potential buyers and weirdo s may ring.
This happens every single day in my business I am working away making an order up and someone rings and i have to spend 10 minutes discussing the ins and outs of an order they may or may not place.
Thats life!
 
i went a few months of not having a horse after having my last one pts i vowed not to get another one as it was too upsetting for myself and my kids. during the gap of not having a horse i found out i was pregnant and i just felt so worthless and useless, my 2 older kids had difficulties, i was struggling with a pregnancy (emotionally) and my OH would come home fromo work and complain about a few crumbs on the floor or toys being scattered around. he didn't give me a moments thought and in the end he started chatting to an old friend and was arranging to meet up. i got more and more depressed and couldn't work out why.
after frank discussions with my OH about what was going wrong and how i was feeling he bought me a horse. it was the best thing ever. i started to feel more than just a mother and frump (from being pregnant) and it gave me a reason to get out of the house each day and put a spring back in my step.

i had my baby and i worked things around my horse and baby, as in i would go to the yard and muck out etc when it was babys' nap time, my horse got used to seeing a pushchair around the place and they seemed to really bond. 6yrs on i still have the horse and my son and horse are closer than any other pairing i know.

what i'm saying is that if you sell your horse you will feel more isolated than you do now, you will start to resent your baby and your OH and it will bubble under the surface until one day you will have a massive arguement and end up seperating (possibly). your OH needs to help you more, the child is half his as well and if he can't help and support you through that then he is selfish. ok you want a horse but that is/will be your release from being around baby all the time, does he have any hobbies that take him away from you for a few hours? if so is he going to give them up?

i agree with looking into tax credits, speak to someone and find out what you are entitled to, speak to your OH and ask him what he's willing to do for you and the baby before you sell your horse.

i didn't have any family around me and was in a new area so had to do it alone but i managed and to be honest having the horse was my lifeline! good luck.
 
Gingerwitch said:
The day does not start at 6am, I was up and at the yard by 5am when i was nursing the big lad, and still doing last night checks at gone half 10, and i did this for months.

Have you seen the sad news posted recently on here, the poor young horses that really are "beloved" whose owners would have done anything for and have been lost due to some horrid quirk of nature - not because someone has not thought their action through,

I cant turn feelings on and off, depending on the size of my purse, or when the new shiney baby comes along - so i dont really care how harsh my post is - when folks stop breeding without thinking of the long term then we wont have as many ruined horses, or onces that are destined for slaughter.
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Well aren't you just the perfect example of humility! I actually missed this post earlier, but can't ignore it now. I hope you never find yourself in the same position as the OP. no-one can see what's ahead of them, and no-one has the right to be so judgemental of another. Shiny new baby? That comment alone is totally vile. :mad:
And FWIW, if you care to look back at previous posts, I think you will find that OP's OH is not only unsupportive physically, but also refuses to pay for the horse since the OP is no longer earning. You would probably get on quite well with him.
 
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lula don't worry about it noone expects peeps to read everything written :) but it would perhaps be useful for some to note that not everyone is as robust in life as they are and not everyone has the same support around them.

OP I hope you are ok? for the most part this forum is very helpful.
 
I can't believe a bunch of people on a forum feel its appropriate to judge and dictate to some one about selling their horse! It's their horse and their decision. If the op cannot afford the time or money to keep the horse, whatever the reasons may be, then the sensible thing is to sell it.
Horses don't have emotions towards humans. Op, there is more in life than horses. Get you sorted, your daughter and your marriage sorted and when you are in a better place get another horse and enjoy it.
 
lula said:
you what?!! :eek:

how have we come from a thread having a rant about time wasters to someone suggesting the OP might get beaten black and blue by her husband every night? !!

blimey, people do have imaginations! i think your comments may be more offensive to the OP than anything gingerwitch said
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You and I have no idea of the ins and outs of this, however I have read the previous posts and you clearly haven't.
 
lula said:
..id just like to add though, whether Op's OH is violent or not id still kick his lazy arse into next week!
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Again had you read the previous thread you would know that the op is not in a position to kick his lazy arse anywhere.

The op has come here for support and it is clear she really needs it.
 
On these types of post I'm usually the first one to say stop whinging, a horse & a baby is easy, get on with it etc. However the op is pretty stuck. As a single mum or with a low earning oh, she'd get help with childcare to work. But short of stealing from her oh, she can't pay for the horse herself right now, or find a job to do so. Physically its do-able to provide the daily care for a horse without any support from oh or family, but op is stuck financially. My best advice is ditch the husband. If that's his attitude now, how do you think life will be in 10yrs?
 
Life changes suddenly sometimes, I was made redundant last year and faced losing everything, something I could not have forseen the previous year.

OP, go back and speak to the person who offered half what he is worth and maybe meet them with the aim of delicately finding out what their situation is, it could be that they really did offer half whilst being skint and wouldnt be able to afford his care or it could be that they offered half as that's a more realistic value for him and they didn't want to say that

Unless he is exceptionally well bred it could be that he simply isn't worth what you are asking and seeing him in a good home and being able to breathe a sigh of relief may be the best thing x
 
Sadly nothing really useful to add.
But, I'd just like to say I've read the thread, feel for the OP and think some comments have been a little harsh.
Keeping horses isn't easy, nor cheap. Juggling beloved horses with precious babies is even more far from easy. Some make it work, anyhow/somehow, some however can not.
I wish the OP the very best.
 
FfionWinnie said:
Again had you read the previous thread you would know that the op is not in a position to kick his lazy arse anywhere.

The op has come here for support and it is clear she really needs it.
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tbh winnie, i just commented on the thread that i took at face value and i apologise if i came down on your comment suggesting the OP's OH was violent but i took it on face value on the context of this thread.. as perhaps did others, i dont know.

Although doubtless, as it seems there is a back story here - knowing it would be useful and i didnt, but not everybody has read every thread from the Op or has the time to trawl through all their back posts to know it if those facts are not alluded to by the OP in a new/recent thread and people cant always be critisized for that, as im sure you'll agree.
 
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littlelegs said:
On these types of post I'm usually the first one to say stop whinging, a horse & a baby is easy, get on with it etc. However the op is pretty stuck. As a single mum or with a low earning oh, she'd get help with childcare to work. But short of stealing from her oh, she can't pay for the horse herself right now, or find a job to do so. Physically its do-able to provide the daily care for a horse without any support from oh or family, but op is stuck financially. My best advice is ditch the husband. If that's his attitude now, how do you think life will be in 10yrs?
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I'm inclined to agree with this. You put it in a nutshell Littlelegs. Sounds like a nightmare situation to be in, and I can't imagine that she is happy at all. OP, for your sake and your baby, you need to find a way of making this right. Personally, I think ditching hubby is your best plan. :(
 
get on gingerwitch and all the others who agree, if you really want something you work 24hrs to keep it, and hubby should fit in or ****** off to, so many sad tales like this these days.
 
Sometimes I think there are some quite mad people on here - its only a horse the OP is selling - not her granny! There is no way I'd get up at 5.00am with a new baby as well as an unsupportive husband to look after a 2 year old horse that could quite happily be owned by someone else. I wouldn't put my baby in a papoose to carry around while I worked with a 2 yr old either!
 
OP is is very simple, get hold of your housing estate department, tell them you have a child and are scared of your OH, they will put you in a house/flat whatever, fill out all the paperwork you can to get some income, put horse on grass livery or let out as a companion for a year or two and tell OH that you are going, bye bye.

And the baby, well there was many a mother over the years who managed to survive with a baby in a pram and her toe on the foot bar rocking it to sleep whilst she did something else which no doubt would have brought in some money, you gotta be strong.

Trust me there is a world out there but to get it you also got to go for it.
 
smokey - actually i worked up to 2 weeks off giving birth and was back at work when the babe was 1 week old, yes breast feeding him with one hand on the phone taking a stationery order, whilst my usless EX husband lay in bed with a hangover, so dont make out to me that life it that easy, its how hard you go out and deal with it.

Where I come from there is no such thing as benefits of any kind, you work or you starve.
 
I agree op should ditch the husband. However last time I looked you didn't get a house/flat just because your husband scares you. Even if you have a range of police documents to prove you have good reason. And whilst ops husband sounds a ****, op hasn't mentioned anything about abuse so I doubt women's aid etc would be able to help. Op does need to go imo though.
 
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