Why do time wasters make a hard decision harder?

putasocinit said:
smokey - actually i worked up to 2 weeks off giving birth and was back at work when the babe was 1 week old, yes breast feeding him with one hand on the phone taking a stationery order, whilst my usless EX husband lay in bed with a hangover, so dont make out to me that life it that easy, its how hard you go out and deal with it.

Where I come from there is no such thing as benefits of any kind, you work or you starve.
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Well, good for you. Medals all round. FWIW, I've done it 6 times, 3 of them sections. Let's not turn it into a competition. Regardless of how well you coped, or I coped, or the world and his granny coped, the OP is not coping, and doesn't need to hear about how she should just get on with it. Another poster said it, we are not all as well equipped to cope as you appear to be. :D
 
There are some really bitchy posts on here. Some of you need to get your heads out of your proverbials & realise that life can deal people some pretty tough blows sometimes.
Added to that I'm SO glad to here that I am working 45+ hours per week so my taxes can subsidise some of you having a nice expensive hobby. News - tax credits are meant to support your family you know those little nuisances that you have to palm off on someone else so you can spend time with your horse instead. Enjoy your riding while I'm stuck in the office until 7pm paying for it.
 
I think of the comments have been a bit harsh rather than constructive, but I agree that if I had a baby, I would be working out how I'm going to care and pay for my horse from the moment I found out I was pregnant as I know it would be another drain on finances and another "dependant". People really should stop breeding their horses for the sake of it and if you can't afford to keep a youngster anymore then sometimes you may need to meet the buyer half way, as a good home is more important than price.
 
hairycob said:
There are some really bitchy posts on here. Some of you need to get your heads out of your proverbials & realise that life can deal people some pretty tough blows sometimes.
Added to that I'm SO glad to here that I am working 45+ hours per week so my taxes can subsidise some of you having a nice expensive hobby. News - tax credits are meant to support your family you know those little nuisances that you have to palm off on someone else so you can spend time with your horse instead. Enjoy your riding while I'm stuck in the office until 7pm paying for it.
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I agree, some very intolerant posts here. So, I have to wonder why you add to it by suggesting that you are working your butt off so we can all have a ball on our horses. Some bitchy comments, yes, now the martyrs are coming to play:rolleyes:
 
Sad to say there are so many of them about these days. But sometimes it goes both ways.

I recently went to view a horse, told the owner I would contact her within 24 hours to discuss a 2nd viewing or make an offer, in this case it was the latter.
She gave me first refusal, great I thought! So when I called to make an offer, she told me she had sold him. :mad:

Less than a week later, email arrives saying "sale fell through!" So arranged to go back and try again today!

Got a text this AM saying sorry just sold him!!!

GRRRRR :mad::mad::mad:
 
smokey said:
I agree, some very intolerant posts here. So, I have to wonder why you add to it by suggesting that you are working your butt off so we can all have a ball on our horses. Some bitchy comments, yes, now the martyrs are coming to play:rolleyes:
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smokey, are you having a bad day or something?.. you seem itching for a fight! ;)
 
now much as i love my horse and my daughters horse too (and of course my daughters), they are horses and your family especially when they are so young have to come first in my book.
i think selling the horse is the right thing to do, then you will hopefully have a bit of breathing space to cope with other things that may or may not need sorting out-sometimes we load too much pressure on ourselves to cope (others loading it on is just unfair)
well done to everyone who has managed to cope with everything that has been thrown at them to date-i hope you never find yourselves in a situation that you cant cope, its not a nice place to be

chin up OP it will work out in the end
 
Hang on - dont come on here posting about a "beloved" animal - when you can do something about keeping it !

I just wish i like many others had the choice to keep really "beloved horses"

I am not on about buying and selling of horses on a general scale but to the fact that she is having to sell her "beloved youngster". If it was beloved she would be putting up a darn sight better fight to keep it.

And the biggest time wasters around are those that breed without thinking through full their actions and winge about the fact she cant move on a 2 year old in one of the worst selling markets - just before the winter.
 
There are 2 reasons people saying get tax credits to pay for your horse pisses me off.
1) is because statements like that give ammunition to all the politicians who would love to be able to say - well if that's what it's paying for lets stop it. Now I know that there are plenty of families who need that system to put a roof over their kids heads & food on the table & I don't begrudge them having that at all not for 1 minute. In fact the thing I hate about tax credits is it gives an excuse to pay a below living wage.
2) If people are using a benefit system designed to keep a roof over their kids heads & put food in their kids bellies to ensure they can maintain a luxury hobby then I think it is they & not the OP who needs to rethink their priorities.
And no you can't do it without the contributions of people like me & if you don't like to think about that - tough!
 
jools1234 said:
now much as i love my horse and my daughters horse too (and of course my daughters), they are horses and your family especially when they are so young have to come first in my book.
i think selling the horse is the right thing to do, then you will hopefully have a bit of breathing space to cope with other things that may or may not need sorting out-sometimes we load too much pressure on ourselves to cope (others loading it on is just unfair)
well done to everyone who has managed to cope with everything that has been thrown at them to date-i hope you never find yourselves in a situation that you cant cope, its not a nice place to be

chin up OP it will work out in the end
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I agree totally with this -
 
Life is tough isnt it? I have had to have a "beloved" horse put to sleep in very unfortunate circumstances - would i have sold a "beloved" horse - no way -on this earth or the next one.

So dont insult us that work our butts off to pay for our horses by calling something "beloved" when it clearly isnt.

Its insulting to those that have truley lost a beloved animal
 
Gingerwitch said:
Sorry to be harsh - but when folks are loosing "beloved" animals that they would move heaven earth and go to hell and back a 100 times over - you really need to work out if it is "beloved" or not!

I would have worked 24 hours a day to find the money to pay for my big lad.

You choose 3 years ago to put the mare in foal, and you choose to do the same for yourself - so get off your butt, stop your winging and deal with the bed you have made.
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God forbid nothing goes wrong in your life....
 
How the hell has this gone from advice on shifting a non-selling youngster to telling someone what to do and how to run their life and jumping to all sorts of conclusions?
The OP didn't ASK any of you to tell her how to leave her partner/husband.....she asked for advice on selling her horse!
Christ alive.....
 
Gingerwitch said:
Life is tough isnt it? I have had to have a "beloved" horse put to sleep in very unfortunate circumstances - would i have sold a "beloved" horse - no way -on this earth or the next one.

So dont insult us that work our butts off to pay for our horses by calling something "beloved" when it clearly isnt.

Its insulting to those that have truley lost a beloved animal
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You have no idea what life holds for you so how can you say that you would never sell?
 
joeanne said:
How the hell has this gone from advice on shifting a non-selling youngster to telling someone what to do and how to run their life and jumping to all sorts of conclusions?
The OP didn't ASK any of you to tell her how to leave her partner/husband.....she asked for advice on selling her horse!
Christ alive.....
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Innit marvellous? :D

The only advice I'd give OP is to NOT ask advice here!
 
As said I'm usually the first to say shut up & get on with it, but op can't magic money out of her backside, regardless of how much effort she puts into daily jobs. And as to tax credits, iirc they were mentioned in reference to ops husband not being willing to pay for childcare. If op finds a job tomorrow, she'll have to pay childcare before receiving a wage. Which means either husband or tax credits in her case. And neither is an option.
I'll also happily admit to keeping a horse whilst on income support for a few months & later on tax credits. And I don't give a flying **** who knows or judges me for it. I sold one horse, but no way was my pet going because my ex happened to be scum. And as for tax credits, you receive them up to a reasonable income. So the majority of recipients have luxuries, like cars, mortgages, new clothes etc. If my luxury happened to be my pony, its no different. Incidentally I once totted up what I have received from the taxpayer, including education & healthcare, versus how much tax I have paid. And I'm very much in the black still thanks!
And agree with all smokeys posts too.
 
Incidentally gingerwitch I did sell one beloved horse when pregnant. Because I loved both enough that I'd prefer one going to a good home, even though 8yrs later I still miss him like hell, than keeping & watching them both do without basic stuff from lack of money. Not being 12, I'm not going to get into arguing over who loves there horse most.
 
in support of my posts, (1) i wish someone had given me advice how to leave the lazy drunken sod e.g. housing (2) i work until 8pm to pay for peoples sad situations in life (3) i was only trying to give the OP an example to say that there is light at the end of the tunnel but it isnt going to turn on by itself.

If every single person that OP ever speaks to that just says "oh shame" she may never be given the kick up the butt (pardon the pun) that she may need without being nasty. And i agree the selling of the horse should have been thought of before.

Posters should read a bit deeper in to other posts before judging that they are just out to be nasty when they are not.

Lets remember we actually do not know each other or what has taken place in our lives so lets not get emotional.
 
Gingerwitch said:
Life is tough isnt it? I have had to have a "beloved" horse put to sleep in very unfortunate circumstances - would i have sold a "beloved" horse - no way -on this earth or the next one.

So dont insult us that work our butts off to pay for our horses by calling something "beloved" when it clearly isnt.

Its insulting to those that have truley lost a beloved animal
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It is actually insulting to say your version of beloved is far and beyond anyone else's. The OP bred her horse, which gives you a different depth of love and responsibility for them. It doesn't mean that circumstances don't change - to me the OP seems caught with a new baby and a husband who won't lift a finger to help, that wasn't something that could have been foreseen 3 years ago.

OP, do think about grass livery, if only for a while, as it will give you some breathing space and also if you do end up without the husband you may bitterly regret being without your horse too.
 
Hang on - who put the mare in foal ?
Who knew over 9 months at least ago that a baby was on the way?
Why have you waited all summer to sell a youngster?
Why on earth do you expect someone to rock up and take off this youngster just as winter is setting in?

So far its your OH's fault, the babys fault and the time waster's fault and now its poster on here faults, because we have not come out with the there there approach.

The only thing i care about in this whole saga is the poor mite you are now trying to offload just before winter.
 
Gingerwitch - there is an old saying - better to keep quiet & people think you are a fool than to open your mouth and prove you are. Yes, you lost a horse. Yes, you are very sad - understandabe. But your situation is not the OPs. The OP is prioritising her baby above a horse - good on her.
Maybe it wasn't a wise decision to breed the horse but it can't be unbred & now she has to deal with the situation as it is. Her life is apparently complicated at the moment & if the horse has to go, even if it breaks her heart, to enable her to give her child a decent life then that is the way it is. Life is like that sometimes. 18 months ago I came close to having to sell my own horse after OH was made redundant for the 3rd time in 2 years & a couple of other bits of bad luck. It would have broken my heart but if the alternative was not being able to pay the mortgage & my whole family being homeless then the horse would have to go - end of.
I just hope you never get dealt a really bad hand in life because from the way you post about your horse dying I really don't think you would be able to cope. I've lost a horse after a horrid illness too & believe me there is far, far worse that can happen in life.
 
Hairycob - you know nothing about me, my life or my experiances.

Like i keep asking - why wait till now to sell the poor thing - it stands no chance - there are quality horses out there going for peanuts.
 
Sometimes loving a horse means accepting that they will be better off elsewhere.

I also don't see how suddenly he's a 'poor little mite'; he's a healthy, well handled, competition bred 2 year old.
 
Rhino - thats great - but why did she not move it on in the summer - everyone is dumping stock onto the market, and a 2 year old is in no-mans land -and why the big worry about having him/her backed just now - why does she not wait till the spring?
 
Gingerwitch said:
Rhino - thats great - but why did she not move it on in the summer - everyone is dumping stock onto the market, and a 2 year old is in no-mans land -and why the big worry about having him/her backed just now - why does she not wait till the spring?
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Maybe she was hoping that things would change :(
 
You are right Gingerwitch I know nothing about you - but that is the impression your posting give.
Ditto you don't know the OP. Maybe she has spent the summer desperately trying to find an alternative solution because the horse is "beloved". May be she has been trying to move heaven & earth to keep it. You don't know that but you are happy to claim that she can't really love it. Doesn't stop you being holier than thou about whether she does.
 
Gingerwitch said:
Like i keep asking - why wait till now to sell the poor thing - it stands no chance - there are quality horses out there going for peanuts.
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Possibly because the OP really does love her horse and hoped desperately that something would change for the better. Now she appears to between a rock and a very crappy hard place, and she's taken the decision to do what's best for her and her newborn.

OP if you are still reading this, and let's face it no one would blame you if you've given up, I'll say again how sad it is to read your selling and having problems. I wish you all the best getting back on top if life again.
 
I am really sorry to appear so harsh - but the fact is that hundreds of people put mares in foal without thinking fully of the consequences, and again its a bloody awful time to be selling - what will happen if it does not find a home?
 
GIngerwich have you got any children of your own?

I don't, and my horses are my life!! I would also move heaven and earth to keep them and I have done in the past!!

BUT if I found myself in a situation where I ended up having a baby and felt that I couldn't spread finances or time fairly then the my child would be my first priority every time!!!!

You can find a horse a loving home where it can fulfill it's potential etc but you can't rehome a baby!!!

I think admitting that your struggling and making the decision to sell because u want the best future for your horse I'd far far braver than working your bones off to keep it but horse suffers because then u dont get no quality time with it and it's just dumped in a field with whatever little time u have spread between it and the baby!!!

I do understand u are grieving GW which is probably the reason for such an outburst but sometimes the best decision we can make for our beloved horses is to let them go.

Noone knows what the future holds!!!

OP I don't know ur story but I really hope u find a solution xx
 
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