swintondesire
Well-Known Member
So you are trying to say I'm short of a pound? Im. Sure I had the same run in with you and your opionin on my last post ? never had the problem myself.but seen a few threads were some people could back off a little.
why does it have to be my way or nothing on this board?
- Thread starter Luci07
- Start date
Goldenstar
Well-Known Member
They never seem to think oh all these people might be saying the same thing for a reason like Er they have a valid point.
That's not to say I won't fight my corner when no one agrees with me but yelling bullys is a bit silly.
AmyMay
Situation normal
No, not at all. I'm just pointing out that bullying and gangs don't really exist on this forum - despite some people's view that they do.
And I don't think we've ever had a run in. You objected to a point I was trying to make to you that's all
Mongoose11
Well-Known Member
I honestly think that a lot of differences of opinion on this forum begin because there are differing levels of intelligence and understanding of language involved. Helpful posts come across and condescending to some, forthright posts come across as bullying or agumentative to others. Some people aren't able to pick up on subtleties and nuances within language and this leads to an alternative interpretation. The classic 'so are you saying that...?' and the reply usually comes as 'read my post again'. People read what they want to sometimes as their reading is tainted with guilt, defense - all manner of emotions.
Classic example going on right here.
Classic example going on right here.
swintondesire
Well-Known Member
. No one says bully and everyone has a opionin but plenty people get hammered on here off others everyday.and to me I can only describe it like gangs.
Jesstickle
Well-Known Member
Deffo Billie. And as I am clearly the most intelligent of all I get to run ALL the gangs
I jest, I jest.
FRESHMAN
Well-Known Member
What a lovely refreshing change to read that the majority of people on here agree to have different ways regarding managing a horse. That is totally my stance. When I do get cross, it is purely because no matter how many times you say "each to there own" the same people slate you & continue to insist that what you are doing is disgraceful, bad management, & anything for an easy life & convenience.
Actually it is none of the above. It is just down to your own preference or needs.
If the animal & the owner are happy with the routine what has it got to do with others.
Great Post.
Actually it is none of the above. It is just down to your own preference or needs.
If the animal & the owner are happy with the routine what has it got to do with others.
Great Post.
Christsam
Well-Known Member
I also think the fact everything is typed can make things sound different to different people. I have said things before and most things i say people seem to argue with 
yet it is just my opinion or how i do things. I dot not expect people to do the same, nor do i expect people to then criticise what I am saying. Each to their own but, for instance, I said once I dont see why some people buy a horse and then stick it on full livery and never see it. I then got a barrage of people, some calling me obtuse and shallow, who said their horses are on full livery as they work long hours. My point was not about these people who do it because they have to but people who have more money than sense and do it so they get only the joy of riding and not the work (awaits more abuse).
btw, my horse is a 3 year old warmblood (shock horror
) and is on DIY livery not clipped, does go out sometimes when its wet and muddy, wears a rug and yes, I am breaking him myself! there, my sins confessed 
yet it is just my opinion or how i do things. I dot not expect people to do the same, nor do i expect people to then criticise what I am saying. Each to their own but, for instance, I said once I dont see why some people buy a horse and then stick it on full livery and never see it. I then got a barrage of people, some calling me obtuse and shallow, who said their horses are on full livery as they work long hours. My point was not about these people who do it because they have to but people who have more money than sense and do it so they get only the joy of riding and not the work (awaits more abuse).btw, my horse is a 3 year old warmblood (shock horror
) and is on DIY livery not clipped, does go out sometimes when its wet and muddy, wears a rug and yes, I am breaking him myself! there, my sins confessed
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thatsmygirl
Well-Known Member
The only thing I have to say is that the strong voices on this forum saved my horse being pts when I ran out of options so i couldn't care less how people come across it's up to you if you wish to listen.
Goldenstar
Well-Known Member
I also think the fact everything is typed can make things sound different to different people. I have said things before and most things i say people seem to argue with
btw, my horse is a 3 year old warmblood (shock horror
Ok but to play devils advocate here my horses are at home I have two grooms who cover seven days a week I don't work what's is the issue with that ?
I can travel with my husband when I chose go away for the day when I chose lucky yes definatly more money than sense why ?
I have oodles of time to spend with my horses if I only ride them one day and go and meet a friend what's the problem.
AmyMay
Situation normal
Oh, you'll often see the 'bully' card played.
And it may seem like gangs to you, or ganging up, because that's what some people perceive when a group of like minded people share the same opinion.
Luci07
Well-Known Member
you are instantly on my hit list... as I am jealous!
I would just like to see some posters back off a little and appreciate there are many ways of looking after a horse and as long as the horse is happy and healthy, let it be. Years ago I would have disagreed that some horses do not like XC but will jump SJ. Then I had one. I would have disagreed that some horses will never make a nice hack with time. Till I saw a livery with a proper big old WB and 4 years later, while he is a lovely boy he is more unpredictable than the babies. He will never change. So maybe, just maybe, sometimes a little tolerance is needed..!
Goldenstar
Well-Known Member
Deffo Billie. And as I am clearly the most intelligent of all I get to run ALL the gangs
I jest, I jest.
May I join I have never been in a gang .
Christsam
Well-Known Member
Thats different. Your horses are at home and you can see them when you want as they are there. I know people who rarely ever even see their horses yet they are quite happy to tell everyone about how they own a horse when, in truth, the horses probably doesnt even know who they are. This is what i mean, you say if you ride one day then meet a friend then whats the problem but that is not that you NEVER see then or ever have anything to do with them.
Goldenstar
Well-Known Member
Oh I see , if people get some sort of strange enjoyment from paying a horses bills but rarely using it I dont think the horse minds much as long as they are on a good yard and have good care, in fact my new groom this season cared for such a horse on her last yard owner rarely saw it but seemed happy to keep him and pay his bills he was PTS just before my groom came to me I forget why a nasty illness I think.
He was lucky my new groom loves the horses they are more than a job to her so he will have had plenty TLC .
He was lucky my new groom loves the horses they are more than a job to her so he will have had plenty TLC .
Christsam
Well-Known Member
I just do not see why someone would want a horse they never see, and never get the enjoyment out of it themselves but there you go, that must make me the strange one
Goldenstar
Well-Known Member
I just do not see why someone would want a horse they never see, and never get the enjoyment out of it themselves but there you go, that must make me the strange one
No I think they think they want a horse get a horse realise they did not want the horse and then ( because not all people with money are nasty ) they worry about a parting with the horse where it will end up and all that and it perhaps seems to much effort to sort it out so they keep it.
Christsam
Well-Known Member
Could be that i suppose. a person i know had a horse, then she was pts at an old age, then got another, then sold that one and then got another. i have known her 20 odd years and she may see her once a week, if that, and if she is on leave from work she doesnt go at all. lol.
indie999
Well-Known Member
Grabs theasaurus
Tiffany
Well-Known Member
I keep my mare in a way that suits her & me & don't think my way is the only way. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but shouldn't expect everyone to agree or, get abusive if they don't.
Ginger_2002
Well-Known Member
Ha i love this post. Brave you to bring it up. I agree it a forum and we all share the same passion and some of the things i see can get out of hand and a bit bullyish which i dont like. Atleast you can let it go over your head on heree
TheoryX1
Well-Known Member
I do my own thing, look after my horses and if anyone disagrees with the way I do it I listen, take on board any helpful points and use them if it works for me, ignore them if it doesnt. It does not bother me, nor do I get upset on the forum if anyone disagrees with my opinion. We are all entitled to our own opinions.
Now if you want to see a huge example of this, go onto CR when a certain couple of young ladies are posting pictures, offer some construtive critictism, or dont go oooh and ahh, pretty ponies etc, and then watch yourself get shot down in flames by them and all their friends. The threads normally go epic as well. It cracks me up, it really does because there are far more important things to worry about in life than how somebody does dressage. That will show you that its not just NL. Oh, and you will also get PMs from well meaning 'friends' advising you not to upset said ladies, or they will be 'nasty' to you. So scared!!!!! Its really, really funny.
Now if you want to see a huge example of this, go onto CR when a certain couple of young ladies are posting pictures, offer some construtive critictism, or dont go oooh and ahh, pretty ponies etc, and then watch yourself get shot down in flames by them and all their friends. The threads normally go epic as well. It cracks me up, it really does because there are far more important things to worry about in life than how somebody does dressage. That will show you that its not just NL. Oh, and you will also get PMs from well meaning 'friends' advising you not to upset said ladies, or they will be 'nasty' to you. So scared!!!!! Its really, really funny.
Littlelegs
Well-Known Member
At the risk of sounding like I'm in a gang, I agree with amymay, Goldenstar etc re gangs & bullying. People play the bullying card far too often.
FionaM12
Well-Known Member
I often see that happen, and sometimes I post to say something and discover a load of others have simultaneously said the same thing, followed by people accusing us of being a gang!
I wonder how they think such gangs work? On a busy thread, there wouldn't be time to discuss and co-ordinate our posts. We just happen to have similar views.
Ginger_2002
Well-Known Member
agreed people may play the bullying card if theyve asked something and dont like the response, you need to take all opinions/advise as long as constructive, as everyone is different and i agree its hard to know in what context something is meant on here (if that makes sense) things can easily be taken the wrong way.
Although I have seen things on some posts i have read previously which personally i have found quite harsh and demeaning to the OP and other users, and these can sometimes get out of hand at which point i give up reading.
Although I have seen things on some posts i have read previously which personally i have found quite harsh and demeaning to the OP and other users, and these can sometimes get out of hand at which point i give up reading.
Pongwiffy
Well-Known Member
If you post on a forum you are going to get lots of differing opinions. Some people are very open to new methods and some people arent. Not many people aren't going to change their ways or methods if they find it works for them which is fair enough!
From people who grandstand to people who are too defensive and read too much into things, I think the answer is probably insecurity. I think whilst some posters genuinely want other people's opinions and ideas and are open-minded, others are subconsciously seeking out confirmation or approval of what they already believe (motivated reasoning). Therefore they don't actually want alternative advice or criticism from anyone even though they appeared to ask for it.
From people who grandstand to people who are too defensive and read too much into things, I think the answer is probably insecurity. I think whilst some posters genuinely want other people's opinions and ideas and are open-minded, others are subconsciously seeking out confirmation or approval of what they already believe (motivated reasoning). Therefore they don't actually want alternative advice or criticism from anyone even though they appeared to ask for it.
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indie999
Well-Known Member
Bandwagon does happen on here, plenty of herding.
FionaM12
Well-Known Member
There was a thread back in the summer where I made two big mistakes.
Mistake No. 1: I agreed with the OP that a horse being a bit fat isn't always a huge deal (very foolhardy thing to say, and I foolishly gave her a bit of support.)
Mistake No. 2: Mollie had ballooned a little (it was the height of summer) and I posted a photo of her and said I wasn't overly worried.
What was I thinking?
In fact, although I wasn't very worried about her weight, I'd moved her into the starvation paddock and upped her work, but I didn't really want to discuss my measures here, nor did I ask for advice.
Silly, silly me.
A few people said they would be more worried than I was if Mollie was theirs, which was fair enough. But others wanted me to account for myself and take their advice, and were angry that I didn't want it. I began to get a bit cross and said I was going to step away from the keyboard rather than argue, at which I was accused of throwing toys out of the pram!
My point is, expressing an opinion is fine, but not every post is asking for advice. I hate the way some posters start insisting the person is irresponsible or a bad owner if they don't appear to be listening to their advice.
Mollie's weight quickly dropped back to her normal size, despite my poor attitude, by the way!
Mistake No. 1: I agreed with the OP that a horse being a bit fat isn't always a huge deal (very foolhardy thing to say, and I foolishly gave her a bit of support.
)Mistake No. 2: Mollie had ballooned a little (it was the height of summer) and I posted a photo of her and said I wasn't overly worried.
What was I thinking?
In fact, although I wasn't very worried about her weight, I'd moved her into the starvation paddock and upped her work, but I didn't really want to discuss my measures here, nor did I ask for advice.
Silly, silly me.
A few people said they would be more worried than I was if Mollie was theirs, which was fair enough. But others wanted me to account for myself and take their advice, and were angry that I didn't want it. I began to get a bit cross and said I was going to step away from the keyboard rather than argue, at which I was accused of throwing toys out of the pram!
My point is, expressing an opinion is fine, but not every post is asking for advice. I hate the way some posters start insisting the person is irresponsible or a bad owner if they don't appear to be listening to their advice.
Mollie's weight quickly dropped back to her normal size, despite my poor attitude, by the way!
Rileyboy
Well-Known Member
My spellin gets it if anythin personal comments r funny, just gotta take it in the chin
if anythin personal comments r funny, just gotta take it in the chin Prince33Sp4rkle
Well-Known Member
................theres a saying somewhere about knowing you've *made it* when people cant stop talking about you, good, bad, or otherwise........