Would it be horrendous as a horse owner to.....

[Tory27]

Put a horse to sleep to ease my exhaustion?

Bit of a long one so please bear with..

I have 4 horses. 1 BS horse in full work, other in steady/light/happy hacker odd show work, my retired x sj mare whos 28 this year and mini Shetland - pet. All of these are kept on a private farm so are full DIY by me and only ridden by me. I do have a friend who can come on a hack every now and then.. But 99% of the time its solely me.

Me. 32 yr old mum with new baby whos just coming up 16 months. I work full time, 8-4.30 (returned to work after 9 months) and riding a horse everyday still compete most weekends. I get up every morning at 5am go feed, muck out, turn out etc, get home get baby up, dressed, get myself sorted take baby to childcare/grandparents, go to work, leave work, straight to farm, ride horse, all stable duties, leave farm by 6.45pm latest, get home, have dinner, feed baby, play with baby, bath then bed by 9.30 if I can! By the end of the day I’m dead, only to do it all again the next day, 7 days a week.

I live with hubby who is a great support and helps out where he can but does not get too involved on the horse front, will do them for me if ill or busy and come to shows with me at weekends.

Over the past month or so I can feel me, my body going on a downhill slope. Now i dont know if im overreacting or just being plain stupid but i think i might be airing on the side of exhaustion?? I have had a cold/cough for nearly 4 weeks, loss of appetite, feeling ill, constant fatigue, would appear gaunt (if it weren’t for concealer......) and just generally shattered to the point i could sleep standing up. I am one of those people that would never admit there was something wrong i just get on with it - minimal fuss.

So ive been thinking how best to get me out of this 'rut' if you can call it that and i guess it boils down to the obvious. I cant have/do it all and sacrifices need to be made. I couldn’t not ride, its my life always has been but in reality i personally dont want 4 horses. 1 or 2 would be fine, ive only ended up with 4 because once they’re with me they stay for life. My eldest mare has been with me for 18 years, i bred one whos now 17 shes been with me her whole life and my BS horse is coming up to her 7th year with us. If i only had 1 - 2 horses it would reduce my stable time and costs accosted with it owing horses dramatically!

Would i be evil and horrid it if had my eldest horse PTS?? There is nothing wrong with her except the fact she is an old lady. She pulled a tendon 8 yrs ago so retired then and had been a field ornament ever since. I ride her twice a year when they cut the corn fields and she just plods along taking in the scenery. She’s a happy healthy little horse. I know there is no right or wrong but I was always of the mind-set a horse only should be ill or suffering to be PTS. But is PTS the sacrifice i need to make to give myself a better life?? Or is that though ludicrous?

We would like to have another baby next year and I’m not sure I can do it all?

Am i being irrational and selfish, wanting it all, should I just man up and stop moaning or do I need to face fact that sacrifices need to be made in order for me to lead a happy healthy life??

I know what my dad would say….. :-/

please help.

 

[ozpoz]

I don't think it is harsh to have a 28 year pts while they are still well. Can they be out 24/7 which would help the stable duties load a little? Your family need you to be well too, not on the verge of exhaustion. I don't think you are being selfish at all, you've just realised you need to find a new way forward.

 

[ihatework]

It sounds exhausting and emotionally draining, hugs.
No it’s not being selfish - you have given your old mare everything by the sounds of it and 28 is an exceptional age for an ex-competition horse. In a way, for her to go happy and healthy and not knowing any different is almost nicer than waiting for the inevitable downwards spiral that is in all likelihood around the corner.

It will be really tough, but sometimes these choices have to be made

 

[Merrymoles]

I don't blame you for considering this - it is an exhausting schedule. But even if you do, you'll still have three to do every day so you are not reducing the workload much.

It might be pie in the sky but is there no way you could find someone to ride the happy hacker in return for chores? Even if they did, say, one morning a week, it would give you a much-needed break from all four. And you might find someone willing to do much more than that for the sake of having a horse to ride. I know it is hard to find someone reliable but they do exist. If I lost my horse for any reason, I would be one of them (and have been in the past).

The last 18 months has been tough for me but having a reliable friend whose horse shares with mine has been a godsend as it means I always get at least one morning a week when I don't need to turn up - I usually do to ride but she does all the jobs that morning so I just turn up after a bit of a lie in!

 

[BethanT]

No I don't think you are selfish.

Personal circumstances change, and with the best will in the world sometimes you just can't help it. You are thinking of doing something much braver than most who may try and pass her on to someone else. At least if you make the decision to PTS you know she will have had a good happy pain free life to the end.

If you did decide to do this, could you also look at finding a new home for the shetty? Even if on loan? Cutting down to 2 would save you massively on your workload. Also keep out as much as you can to restrict chores.

At the end of the day you can only do what you can do, and you need to be healthy to look after yourself, your family and your horses.

 

[SusieT]

Have to say I think you would be wrong to pts because it's a bit tiring.
Can you not adjsut the schedule so they are all out in summer therefore meaning to ride one is actually only a small part of your day and the rest just need a quick glance over in field? Why does it take so long to do them all? If you don't have enough land can you rent more, or send mare to retirement livery?
If horse is healthy I'm afraid you would be killing her for convenience and that is something only you can decide if that is something you can live with. It happens daily.
Can you cut down competitions, shorten how long you ride fore etc. etc.?
As others say you will still have three.
Why not loan happy hacker and shetland as companion?

 

[Magnetic Sparrow]

I felt tired just reading your daily schedule. I don't know how you do it.

It would not be horrendous or wrong. Owning a horse is about you as well as the horse.

 

[LaurenBay]

Personally I could not PTS a well and happy Horse because I was tired.

Can you sell the Shetland? Find a sharer for your other Horse who is in lighter work or loan that one. Keep your current riding Horse and your Oldie.

 

[Morgan123]

Is it really going to save you THAT much time just having one less horse?! It sounds like it's the competing and riding (well and the baby!!) that are the issue really. Personally if I was really knackered in that instance, I'd probably cut back on a few competitions, or maybe at least find a sharer to help keep the competition horse fit - and/or at least try ad turn out the oldie somewhere. I can't see that mucking out one less horse is going to make that much difference to your life - you're saving what half an hour absolute max?

 

[Equi]

What would be the issue with sticking the two older ones out 24/7 and have the younger one in with the shetland? Half the work. I don't think they need to be in every night in summer if it can be helped.

 

[Arzada]

It's not something I think I could do. What other options are there? I it seems quite a leap from your current arrangement (are all 4 horses stabled?) and PTS and no alternative.

 

[ozpoz]

I honestly don't think some posters realise the extent and demands of your workload plus mobile baby! Turning out the oldie where you don't have to see it, as suggested, doesn't sound very conscientious to me!

 

[Auslander]

It saddens me to see judgemental comments about choosing to PTS an old horse before it's quality of life starts to deteriorate. Far better that, than to wait til the animal is suffering. A long retirement is fine, if that's what you want to do with your own horse. It's not fine if you use "You owe it to your horse/your horse deserves..." as a stick to beat other people with.

No-one "owes" it to their horse to keep them alive for as long as possible, and no horse "deserves" a long retirement. All a horse is owed/deserves is to be treated well all it's life, and to be dispatched quickly, without pain or fear, at the end of it's life, whenever that may be.

 

[Rowreach]

It saddens me to see judgemental comments about choosing to PTS an old horse before it's quality of life starts to deteriorate. Far better that, than to wait til the animal is suffering. A long retirement is fine, if that's what you want to do with your own horse. It's not fine if you use "You owe it to your horse/your horse deserves..." as a stick to beat other people with.

No-one "owes" it to their horse to keep them alive for as long as possible, and no horse "deserves" a long retirement. All a horse is owed/deserves is to be treated well all it's life, and to be dispatched quickly, without pain or fear, at the end of it's life, whenever that may be.

I completely agree with this ^^

However I do wonder what the OP will do if/when she has a second baby, by which time the first one will be more mobile and even more time consuming. I'm not sure removing one retired horse from the equation will solve the problem.

 

[zaminda]

I personally wouldn't but I equally wouldn't keep four horses stabled at night all year round. Things clearly need to change and I suspect you are currently so exhausted you can barely think straight. I would be looking at finding someone for the Shetland and the one who potters around and try keeping them out more. I'm not sure how you have coped like this for this long! I would possibly compete a bit less too and that's coming from someone who loves to be out and about.

 

[hobo]

Auslander has said it beautifully. At 28 your mare has had a wonderful time and will go without any suffering better to early than to late. The pet shetland would be easy to rehome and the happy hacker if you could get help with it that would be nice. Do not feel guilty about what ever you decide to do it is your life and falling apart will help no one.

 

[be positive]

It saddens me to see judgemental comments about choosing to PTS an old horse before it's quality of life starts to deteriorate. Far better that, than to wait til the animal is suffering. A long retirement is fine, if that's what you want to do with your own horse. It's not fine if you use "You owe it to your horse/your horse deserves..." as a stick to beat other people with.

No-one "owes" it to their horse to keep them alive for as long as possible, and no horse "deserves" a long retirement. All a horse is owed/deserves is to be treated well all it's life, and to be dispatched quickly, without pain or fear, at the end of it's life, whenever that may be.

This, I would also move the shetland on, unless it is needed when you take out the competition horse, it may be small but managing tiny ponies can be just as time consuming as a bigger one when laminitis is always a potential issue.

I was considering much the same for my retired 26 year old because I am moving and didn't know what facilities I would have but as it turns out I will have the ideal set up for him and it will reduce the work involved although I will probably find costs go up slightly I am more than happy with that.

 

[Cecile]

It saddens me to see judgemental comments about choosing to PTS an old horse before it's quality of life starts to deteriorate. Far better that, than to wait til the animal is suffering. A long retirement is fine, if that's what you want to do with your own horse. It's not fine if you use "You owe it to your horse/your horse deserves..." as a stick to beat other people with.

No-one "owes" it to their horse to keep them alive for as long as possible, and no horse "deserves" a long retirement. All a horse is owed/deserves is to be treated well all it's life, and to be dispatched quickly, without pain or fear, at the end of it's life, whenever that may be.

Well said Auslander
I also may be doing things all wrong but any live out ones that stay with me usually don't take much less time than stabled ones - by the time I wander around a field poo picking, clean troughs, check them over thoroughly twice a day. walk around the field checking for anything that shouldn't be there sometimes I would find it quicker to muck out and have everything to hand in the yard - I suppose I could stand at the yard and count the legs of any field kept ones in the distance but can't see anyone thinking that is acceptable

Your life at present OP makes me feel exhausted just reading about it, no idea how you have managed for so long

 

[Cecile]

Auslander has said it beautifully. At 28 your mare has had a wonderful time and will go without any suffering better to early than to late. The pet shetland would be easy to rehome and the happy hacker if you could get help with it that would be nice. Do not feel guilty about what ever you decide to do it is your life and falling apart will help no one.

You said it beautifully as well, with thought and compassion ^^

 

[HashRouge]

I honestly don't think some posters realise the extent and demands of your workload plus mobile baby! Turning out the oldie where you don't have to see it, as suggested, doesn't sound very conscientious to me!

It's not that I don't sympathise with the OP, I just could not have a happy, healthy horse put to sleep just because I was tired. I understand that she is an older mare, but it sounds like she has a very good quality of life at present. There are plenty of other options to consider first! Why not turn all four out 24/7 over summer? Sell the mini-shetland? Find a sharer/ loaner for the happy hacker? If the horses went out 24/7, the OP could even pay someone to check them in the morning so she only has to go up once a day.

 

[Cortez]

This is topical as I'm trying to get a friend to do exactly what you are contemplating, for financial reasons as much as the time/tiredness ones. She has six horses (and has just sent her mare off to try and make it seven...madness), rides none, all are shod and fed up to the eyeballs, and she is already in unmanageable debt. She has asked for advice, and nearly had a meltdown when I suggested putting down the arthritic 29 year old and selling some of the others.

You do not owe horses anything other than good care, and if giving them that is not possible and there are no other options then putting them down is just that: good, responsible management.

 

[ester]

My concern is that you won't find it much less work, so I do think it might be wise to consider that when planning what to do. I'm genuinely unsure if it is a decision I could make, and I don't think it would be the first thing I tried in order to lighten the load.

 

[Cortez]

Oh goodness, having one less (or one more, conversely) is a HUGE difference and would lighten the load considerably.

 

[ester]

Friends have said differently that is all, especially when the horse is unridden as did someone else on this thread.

 

[Tory27]

Thank you for your replies.

Yes they all are currently stabled at night all year round. There’s no reason for this other that ‘it’s always something I’ve done’. in the winter they are in overnight purely to save my fields. I don’t have masses of land so I have to look after what I have. Currently my grass is at its bare minimum so I do hay both morning and night.
Leaving them out this week had made a big diffference which has helped a bit. It’s not only the tiredness but also the costs. I go through 2 bales of hay a day with all of them (lack of grass dosnt this help) so I’m buying 20 bales every fortnight. Again please don’t think I’m complaining I’m not, just now with baby and all associated with her especially childcare costs it adds up and nothing is left.

I appreciate what others have said regarding time with one less horse, yes I guess I’d only save half hour ish each morning but that works out at 3.5 hours a week which is quite a lot. Also I agree, what will I do when baby no. 2 comes along? In all honesty I don’t know but I can assure you popping of a horse cos I’m tired or can’t cope with all wouldn’t be an option. It’s hard enough I’ve even thought about pts my eldest.

Trust me I’m not a cruel or the type of girl who gets fed up of a horse and just pops it off, not at all!!!I’m just looking at what options I might have. I may look at maybe getting a rider to help out but I’m so so particular. just because they’re forward going competition horses and I’m just so fussy about who gets on their backs. But as some of you have said there must be someone out there?

My feelings are definitely not immediate I will be considering this over some time. It’s a very hard thought process.

 

[millikins]

I too would not criticise someone for PTS an elderly horse who has had a good life. But, have you seen your doctor? With a schedule like yours are you eating properly or you could be anaemic. I would suggest that as your first action.

 

[Tory27]

I too would not criticise someone for PTS an elderly horse who has had a good life. But, have you seen your doctor? With a schedule like yours are you eating properly or you could be anaemic. I would suggest that as your first action.

I had though of a visit to doctor but I don’t want to come across as a moaning Minnie who’s waisting their time.

 

[millikins]

I had though of a visit to doctor but I don’t want to come across as a moaning Minnie who’s waisting their time.

I really don't think any GP would think that.
Something that proved a godsend as a time saver for me, (I have 5 but an adult daughter to help) was a ring feeder and circular bales. You'd need help to replace the bale but 2 adults can move them, daughter's husband can do them on his own.

 

[Apercrumbie]

What a schedule! However I personally don't feel that one less would make enough of a difference. I think keeping them out in summer is an immediate change that has already helped you this week. Could you get a sharer for the happy hacker?

 

[ester]

re sharers it totally depends really, sometimes you can find someone suitable easily, sometimes you don't. There certainly are those out there with capability to ride comp horses though, just currently without their own.

I get the impression that you probably like things how you do them, and doing them how you have always done- I'm with you on that and it can be hard to change. If you can get them out would the bedding savings compensate for the hay for instance?

(and FWIW these aren't just things to think about if you decide to keep the oldie, I think you should be thinking about them anyway just to make your life easier )