Would this Pee you off and how would you react?

[Parkranger]

I don't usually post this sort of post but I'm so angry I don't want to do something I'll regret!

One of my boys has two sharers, both who I trust with him and treat him well.

One asked yesterday if she could take her young relative to meet him and I said she'd have to ask the yard owner.

So I go up tonight and the YO tells me that her husband is hopping mad. Apparently she turned up with 3 kids, took them all into the field to get him, put 2 of them ON MY HORSE around the school, left rubbish everywhere, kids were peeing behind the stables (in the view of the house) and then the kids were running havoc around the yard around a horse that is known to barge etc.

I just can't believe she's been so disrespectful. She obviously thought there was no one in watching her and is just taking the pee.

I've also been told today that a few times in the last week she's come back from a ride and he's been white with sweat - after an hours ride.

I obviously can't prove the last point but I'm now worried she's ragging him around the common and he;s going to break (has hock spavin).

Feel so disappointed and not sure what to do....

 

[Skhosu]

I would speak to her and see what her side is, re: the sweat, could it be he is getting excited?
Did she ask the YO about taking the relatives up?
IF she is not doing as asked I would terminate the share, you won't be able to trust her again.

 

[MooMoo]

If its true I could understand perfectly if you went nuts at them! Is there anyone at the yard who you could get to keep an eye on them that you trust while your not around?
If it is you should probably have words...

 

[Keltic]

I think you need to have a chat with her, and ask the other girls on the yard just to keep a discreet eye on her and let you know any problems etc, after all he is still your horse and he comes first. I dont blame you for being mad i would be livid tbh, speak to her and see what she says.
Sorry not much help!!

 

[Parkranger]

He doesn't sweat up on his own - he's good as gold. I can't prove that anyway as I didn't see him myself!

She asked YO and YO said yes as long as you keep hold of the kids and don't let them run around unattended.

She definately didn't ask me if she could put a 5 year old on my unpredictable TB's back...can you imagine what could have happend?

 

[flowerlady]

Obviously your going to have to talk to her and ask why she had taken children upto see the horse and also what has been seen. Why do you have two sharers? Me thinks this woman/girl has ridden your horse for the last time unless she has a very good explanation?

 

[Parkranger]

I trust my YO and know that they wouldn't lie. They even said they'd cut my livery if it meant getting rid of her....I feel awful as they've done so much to help me and the boys out.

 

[TGM]

I'd take a deep breath and have a good long think about the situation and don't rush into anything before you have at least slept on it!

I must say I find it strange that the YO has only today mentioned the fact that the horse has been white with sweat on several occasions. If he was really concerned, why has he only told you today? Could it be that the episode with the kids has upset him and now he is exaggerating things a bit to get your sharer into trouble?

The business with the kids is out of order, so why not tell her calmly that the YO was very unhappy with the way they behaved, so in future you would appreciate if she no longer brought any children to the yard with her.

 

[Parkranger]

[ QUOTE ]
Obviously your going to have to talk to her and ask why she had taken children upto see the horse and also what has been seen. Why do you have two sharers? Me thinks this woman/girl has ridden your horse for the last time unless she has a very good explanation?

[/ QUOTE ]

I have two sharers as I have two horses! Unfortunately don't have time to ride both and Ty is just doesn't settle with anyone else....odd bod pony. He's as good as gold but can be unpredictable on the ground and has been known to rear up on the yard for no good reason (prob due to his blindness) so why the hell have kids unattended around him and on his back - that's what really gets me angry.

 

[Parkranger]

[ QUOTE ]

I must say I find it strange that the YO has only today mentioned the fact that the horse has been white with sweat on several occasions. If he was really concerned, why has he only told you today? Could it be that the episode with the kids has upset him and now he is exaggerating things a bit to get your sharer into trouble?



[/ QUOTE ]

He's not like that - apparently he only noticed it the other day and I haven't seen him. TBH it wasn't that which was the talking point it was the other things.

Would none of you be livid if someone put kids on your horse though without asking?

 

[Skhosu]

right, so she had permission and lost control of the kids, if its a once off, just make it clear she can't bring them up again. Tell her the behaviour wasn't acceptable.
The sweat-would agree the YO is only now bringing it up!
What were th circumstances of the kids on the back of the horse, was it a sat on with hats on and horse being held, in which case, most adults with small children do this.
JMHO though and its up to you.

 

[Parkranger]

TripleS - he's my horse and she didn't ask permission are you telling me you'd be ok with this? They were riding him around the school?

Sorry maybe I'm blowing this out of proportion.

i need to give her a call I think

 

[Skhosu]

nope re: the kids, if they were a sharer and not just a randomer and the kids were just sat on..

 

[Parkranger]

Blimey - you're more laid back than me.

Sorry but on a horse that is known to be a bit unpredictable it's just not right imo

ETS - they were riding around the school, not just sat on

 

[Skhosu]

does she pay for the privelege of sharing? I just dont see whats so wrong with the kids sat on, just me though!

 

[Skhosu]

sorry, cross posting. different opinions then!

 

[Parkranger]

[ QUOTE ]
does she pay for the privelege of sharing? I just dont see whats so wrong with the kids sat on, just me though!

[/ QUOTE ]

Would you put a 5 year old child on a horse that was unpredictable and take them into a school? If anything had happened to one of them I'd never live with myself

I just think it's dangerous and also not covered on insurance should anything happen!

 

[MooMoo]

If you call her maybe just ask her calmly and plainly what happened. See what she says. In the meantime perhaps keep a close eye on things. It is your horse and its understandable for you to want the best for him.
If the worst comes to the worst tell her its not working out. I'm sure they'll be another person looking for a horse to share.

 

[Parkranger]

Yeah I'm going to call her now. I'm not ranting just disappointed that she's broken my trust and not respected someones yard when they've bent over backwards to accommodate us.

 

[Skhosu]

if it was being lead, I dont see the problem, I would put a 5yr old lead on anything of ours, including my own neurotic eventer, hatted and lead, you can just lift child off if theres a problem.
If not lead, then its a bit silly. Why would the insurance not cover it?

 

[Parkranger]

[ QUOTE ]
sorry, cross posting. different opinions then!

[/ QUOTE ]

Guess so

 

[MooMoo]

[ QUOTE ]


Would you put a 5 year old child on a horse that was unpredictable and take them into a school? If anything had happened to one of them I'd never live with myself

I just think it's dangerous and also not covered on insurance should anything happen!

[/ QUOTE ]

Some people would do it with their OWN children on their OWN horses, its a very different thing when neither the horse nor the children are your own. I think you're right to be annoyed.

 

[Parkranger]

moo moo - that's my point exactly! I put my OH neice on oscar but he's my horse and I know oscar is a lamb so no problem. We also stood on either side incase anything happened.

 

[TGM]

[ QUOTE ]
Would none of you be livid if someone put kids on your horse though without asking?

[/ QUOTE ] It does depend on the situation and the horse! Sitting a child on the horse's back whilst holding the child wouldn't be a problem to me. Letting a child ride loose on an unpredicatable horse would be another matter.

I think you need to speak calmly and rationally to your sharer to try and find out exactly what happened. From your previous posts it seems having a sharer is very advantageous to you, so seems silly to cut your nose off to spite your face without having a chance to hear her side of the story.

 

[Parkranger]

TGM, totally agree and I will hear her out. She's a nice girl but can be a little lacking in commonsense which I fear is what's happened here!

 

[MooMoo]

I also see your point about insurance. Assuming they had no helmets on here (which i believe it is law for those under 16) so the insurance would most likely not cover you. Lets not start on the no helmet thing though...

 

[Smash]

I'd be more furious about the lack of respect shown to the yard etc than anything else. She was responsible for the visitors whilst they were there and any bad behaviour on their part is directly her responsibility.
I'd want to hear her side of it - for kicks, if anything before deciding what to do. Personally I wouldn't want to piss such an understanding YO any further and if I felt necessary I would give notice to terminate the contract and get back to YO about reduced livery.

 

[Parkranger]

well I'll let her have her say, it's only fair.

I just know that if she was on my parents yard my father would have frogmarched her off the yard! YO's husband didn't come out and have a go as he didn't want to ruin things for me and knows I benefit from sharers.

That said, Ty is so good to hack etc that I don't think it would be a problem to find another sharer. she has been really helpful in the past though and I like the girl - just doesn't think.

 

[custard]

TBH I wouldn't investigate much further, I'd just 'sack' her sorry!

 

[hadfos]

[ QUOTE ]
TGM, totally agree and I will hear her out. She's a nice girl but can be a little lacking in commonsense which I fear is what's happened here!

[/ QUOTE ]
Sounds like this is the problem..the commonsense has let her down!!

have a quiet word,express your concerns,saying you will not tolerate children etc on said horse due to his unpredictability,explain insurance reasons,and that if it continues you will have to terminate agreement!!My 6yr old sits on my 17hh lad and i lead him round(with hat etc)but i have had him all his life and know he would never put a foot wrong with him