Would you be annoyed?

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Moggy in Manolos

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Hello all

The situation is this.
I let a lady ride my horse once or twice a week for free, this came about because her friend asked me out right, who I share the yard with. Now I have let this lady ride and trusted her with my mare. As some of you know Seren has had soundness issues in the past but *touch wood* we have been doing very well staying sound.
Anyway, I fairly recently explicitly stated that she was not to ride on this one bridle track as its terribly stony as Seren finds it very hard to walk down most of the time, she gets on with it but I am not happy so I do not even ride her myself down this track.

Well on a ride out with the mutual friend this morning it transpired she had ridden her the other night on this track I asked her not to. The mutual friend (they are more friends then me btw).
The more I have thought about this today the more annoyed i have felt.

Anyway, felt like I needed to vent.
Would you be annoyed if you were me?

Thanks for listening everyone :)
 
Yes, I would be annoyed. It is great your horse is free from lameness and she should respect your wishes and not use that bridle path.
Perhaps have a word and explain again the importance of her sticking to your rules and politely but firmly insist she does not violate your wishes again. Stay polite and you won;t go wrong, I hope. Let's hope it was just a silly mistake on her behalf and it will not happen again.
 
Yes I would be VERY annoyed! She is your horse and you are being extremely kind letting her ride for free I would have thought she would have listened to your instructions.
 
I really very much dislike anyone who deliberately does something I have told them not too (I always explain why also) in relation to grooms, my yard, riders...My pet hate, I would be pretty annoyed. You are trusting your horse to her as a favour...Sneaky acts are not the best way of forming trust :mad:
 
I would be very annoyed and would in fact stop her riding my horse. If she does not feel the need to do as asked about the bridleway, what else does she do that you don't like? If she is so underhanded as to do this without telling you, then I wouldn't trust her to be responsible for my horse at all. I would also take my tack home.
 
I'd be very annoyed.
How irresponsible of her. I'm afraid I wouldn't bother trying to make my instructions explicit, I would simply say 'no more riding for you, madam' and I wouldn't be over-bothered about being polite. How dare she put your horse at risk?
 
Sorry for the delay, just popped up yard to see to Seren.
Thanks to you all, I am really pleased it is not just me, I feel upset and a bit angry at her really. Such a shame she has broken my trust like this :(

Right, I have got to get ready to go out, taking my OH to see Jimmy Car tonight as part of his birthday present.

Cheers again all, I will have to speak with her, though I feel like I do not even want to and just want to stop her riding her all together, as I really do not need it, I literally do it out of the kindness of my heart, Seren does not need any more exercise per say than I already offer so I think I may just stop it all together.
 
Absolutely. I'd be livid, especially as I'm assuming she knew the reason you'd asked her not to ride on that bridlepath in the first place. Have you asked her why she felt the need to do it? And didn't the other friend involved think it was a bad idea too??
 
I would have a chat with her and let her explain herself. Yes I would be annoyed but what's to say lady you share your yard with said to "friend" oh don't listen she'll be fine, come on it's quicker this way or well i'm going this way so you can come or not. I know she shouldn't have ridden down that track but I bet many of us put in a situation similar to the one above may feel they have no choice. If however she can't justify it well enough then yes by all means terminate the riding.
 
I've been in a similar position and was fumin. I was looking after a tb mare (ex-trainers hack, but not a racer) for the YO, and we let another lass ride her occasionally. Let he take her out this morning so she could ride with a friend and i'd previously said to her in the week 'take her up the top where we know she's good, i know it's boring but it's safe' and the YO had had a similar conversation as to the conditions of where she could ride this horse...basically the same path.

What did she do...Ignore us both, take her through the woods, where we knew she jogged constantly, ended up winding the mare up to the point she threatened to rear. She ended up having to swap with her friend as she was getting so wound up. She wasn't allowed to ride her again after that. (i'd also had to take a schooling whip of the same girl when on that horse too - who could be a bit laid back, but did not need a whip and didn't particually like jumping crops being carried, let alone schooling whips with dangly bits on the end by someone who didn't have the steadiest of hands, so already wasn't to impressed with her)


Talk to the women, find out her reasons (did the person she was hacking with know you don't like that path?), and tbh tell her that you would rather she didn't ride if she is going to disreguard your instructions and conditions for riding your horse.
 
I wouldn't be happy at all if it was one of my horses.
Personally I'd speak to the woman and ask her to explain why she so blatently disregarded your instructions, and why on the earth she thinks you would accept it when its not her god given right to ride your horse, then regardless of answer, I'd tell her well you've burnt your bridges and the next time someone is good enough to let your ride their horse, I suggest you follow their instructions if you want to keep riding them!

The cheek of some people, even if her pal said oh bugger that lets go this way, its still no excuse, she's a grown adult and responsible for her own actions x
 
Yes I think you have every right to be annoyed. We had something similar at our yard where a sharer was told not to canter a horse that she rode on the bridleway as in places it can be very hard. I was out hacking with a friend and we met the sharer doing just that with someone else..approaching the end of the bridleway very fast one day, she was out with another sharer and they could barely stop the horses before they came upon us...let alone the turning area for cars at the top! I didn't know there was an issue at the time but the other person I was with did know that this horse shouldn't be cantered there..so she notified the owners so they could have a word. Do double check with your mutual friend that you are talking about the right track just in case you're not all talking about the same track and just to clear any confusion with the person riding your horse that she didn't understand what you meant when you told her not to so she understands now how it could impact on Seren's soundness.
 
Thanks everyone. This makes me feel that I am not being unreasonable about this.

This lady knows how I worry about my mares soundness. I thought I would have to retire her last year, but some how she is sound again, I feel so lucky to be riding her (she has bad rotation in her front right). The lady knows this exactly but I can only assume she does not consider it fully. As she is my mare and I know her well, having owned her for over 18years, and seeing the xray of her foot I know we are very lucky indeed to have her happily sound.

It could have been a case of the other lady getting her into the situation but they both know I have jumped off and walked her down this track myself a few times if I had to go that way for any reason. So I would think she would have jumped off and lead her down like I myself do.

As its a tiny yard with me and this one other lady I am not sure how awkward that could be in the future. Its not like its a big place I can escape from them both.

I feel so upset as i really trusted this lady :(

Gosh I don't know what to do. I think I will just say that I will be riding her myself from now on and say that there is no need for her to ride any more. She has had a bloody good run riding her for free for many months now.
I had hoped it would come to a natural end with the dark nights coming in but I want it to stop now. So I think I will ask her to stop and just say it is because I will be riding her myself from now on.

Thanks again to you all for your advice and listening. I do feel better for getting it out
 
Go for it and sack her off!!!! I have spent my life being nice to people and most of the time you get it thrown back in your face. I am trying to stand up for myself now so you do what is right for your horse. :)
 
I wouldn't feel bad at all, I would be livid. You're being so kind letting her ride your horse for nothing the least she could do is respect your wishes and take care of your horse when she's in her care. Good on you for terminating the arrangement - if her friend is so keen for her to have a horse to ride why not lend her one of her own?
 
Thanks everyone. I think the best way forward is for me to just say I am going to ride her myself now and do not need her to ride her any more, I think this way there should be less awkwardness, well I hope so! I feel it is not worth even saying why, unless she asks and I shall say why.
She usually texts me and asks to ride a specific day so I shall respond at that point and put an end to it nicely and hopefully it will be ok. I am sure she has other friends horses to ride after all.

Thanks again everyone :D
 
I would like to say that these coments that this person put on are all one sided i am so annoyed that this person has been slagging me of on this site when i looked after this horse like it was my own and would not have put it at any risk what so ever and have a lot better knowledge than ist owner will ever have i looked after her horse when she couldnt be bothered on a friday night in the dead of winter cos she was going out on the pis and asked me to do her i bathed her once in the 8months i looked after her as she looked as though she had never seen a bath in her life she acts as though she was doing me a big favour when i looked after that horse like it was my own and i am so mad to think she would write all this on here and never said any thing to my face it just cowardly and even scared of her own horse after owning it for 20yrs
 
I take it you are the sharer? Why don't you just clarify whether you did indeed ride the mare down the path the owner had asked you not to use or not? If you didn't, this is obviously a massive misunderstanding and perhaps the two of you could talk to each other and sort it out. If you did, then, words fail me really.
 
Absolutely agree, I woud stop her riding straight away - who knows what else she is doing? All very well when you are not paying the vet bills!

I will add though - are you absolutely sure that this happened?
 
Good grief Pussydeluxe, having read your reply I wouldnt let you ride my bike let alone my horse - what a nasty thing to come on and say.
 
pussydeluxe said:
I would like to say that these coments that this person put on are all one sided i am so annoyed that this person has been slagging me of on this site when i looked after this horse like it was my own and would not have put it at any risk what so ever and have a lot better knowledge than ist owner will ever have i looked after her horse when she couldnt be bothered on a friday night in the dead of winter cos she was going out on the pis and asked me to do her i bathed her once in the 8months i looked after her as she looked as though she had never seen a bath in her life she acts as though she was doing me a big favour when i looked after that horse like it was my own and i am so mad to think she would write all this on here and never said any thing to my face it just cowardly and even scared of her own horse after owning it for 20yrs
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Some punctuation would be good, instead of one warbling sentence :rolleyes:

Now that you have our attention, did you ride the horse down the stoney track?
 
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Wow, guess who wouldn't be going anywhere near my horse again! :eek: Rides for nothing and then complains about dealing with the horse one Friday night when the owner is going out. If the poster on here is the rider, then I guess she is the ex rider :p
 
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