would you let a pregnant friend ride your horse?

^I'd tell them I think its a bad idea, and if they wanted a drink, they could pour their own. If they are mature enough to have a child, they are mature enough to make decisions about their own health.
I'd say no too, OP. I would feel awful if my usually steady horse suddenly wasn't and she had a fall :(.
 
DiNozzo said:
^I'd tell them I think its a bad idea, and if they wanted a drink, they could pour their own. If they are mature enough to have a child, they are mature enough to make decisions about their own health.
I'd say no too, OP. I would feel awful if my usually steady horse suddenly wasn't and she had a fall :(.
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Surely that's a contradiction? They are mature enough to have a child, and make their own decisions about their own health (and that of their baby), but then they aren't treated with the respect of any other person?

If a non pregnant person asked me to pour a drink, I would do it. So similarly, if an adult, of sound mind and capabilities, who was pregnant, said they fancied a drink, I would pour it as I would the rest of the party. Of course, if they were absolutely plastered, then I wouldn't. But one drink, when they have made a sober and informed adult decision, is completely their choice and IMO they should be respected for that.
 
Moomin1 said:
Out of interest (and not having a go here, purely out of interest now), those that say they wouldn't allow a pregnant woman on their horse, would you pour a pregnant woman a glass of wine if she said she would have one at a barbeque, for instance?
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Yes I would, but then I don't think having a glass of wine when you are pregnant is dangerous.
 
Er, why I earth wouldn't you give the an alcoholic drink? It's not illegal or even dangerous for a pregnant woman to have a drink!

The mind boggles. I'm sure you wouldn't want to live in a place (eg Bible Belt us) where you can be refused a drink on the basis of being in a "pre-pregnant state" - ie a woman.
 
Moomin1 said:
Out of interest (and not having a go here, purely out of interest now), those that say they wouldn't allow a pregnant woman on their horse, would you pour a pregnant woman a glass of wine if she said she would have one at a barbeque, for instance?
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Apercrumbie said:
Nope.
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Really? Why not?

If the person wanted to ride one of my horses and they were an experienced rider then yes I would allow them to make that choice. And if a pregnant friend asked for a glass of wine at my house I would pour her one. I also have no problem driving pregnant friends around in my vehicle. And if they wanted to swing on the tree swing or jump on the trampoline then they'd be more than welcome to.

OP it's totally up to you what you decide. I believe most people, especially pregnant ladies, are perfectly capable of making rational adult decisions, but it appears not everyone believes pregnant women are capable of doing that.
 
I don't think saying no is lack of respect for the pregnant woman. It is about what OP is comfortable with. If OP (or anyone) doesn't want to let someone ride thier horse because they consider the risk too great, then it's is OP's decision to make.

I would not be comfortable with it so would likely say no.
 
Moomin1 said:
Surely that's a contradiction? They are mature enough to have a child, and make their own decisions about their own health (and that of their baby), but then they aren't treated with the respect of any other person?

If a non pregnant person asked me to pour a drink, I would do it. So similarly, if an adult, of sound mind and capabilities, who was pregnant, said they fancied a drink, I would pour it as I would the rest of the party. Of course, if they were absolutely plastered, then I wouldn't. But one drink, when they have made a sober and informed adult decision, is completely their choice and IMO they should be respected for that.
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No I don't think it is- however alcohol is a drug, and I personally don't drink anyway, so I would not feel comfortable in being part of essentially drugging an unborn child.
However, I would not prevent the pregnant women doing so- that's her own choice. I just wouldn't be the 'enabler' in the same way that I would not let her ride my horse as I would feel responsible, rightly or wrongly, for anything that went wrong.
I wouldn't look down on them for doing so either, I just wouldn't help.
WindyStacks- I don't drink as I think the effects are dangerous, however, I would not like to be refused anything just because I am a women. But I feel when pregnant you are responsible for the child you are carrying and that to me means not taking unnecessary risks.
 
LJR said:
Yes I would, but then I don't think having a glass of wine when you are pregnant is dangerous.
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But is it really down to you to decide what is dangerous during ANOTHER woman's pregnancy, and what isn't?

The recommendation by dr's is that pregnant women AVOID alcohol, and AVOID horse riding (or more to the point, falling off). So therefore, it is entirely down to the individual woman to decide what risks she is willing to take. Personally, I rode until I was 3 months pregnant then stopped as I felt that riding my mare, who is spooky and very big, was too much of a risk to take. I do however, drink a glass or two of wine at the weekend. The advice is not to eat peanuts if you have eczema, asthma and hayfever, because it can increase the risk of peanut allergy in your baby. I decided to continue eating peanuts. I am quite sure Sainsbury's wouldn't refuse to sell me peanut butter if I told them.

Of course, I agree, it is OP's choice, as it is anyone's choice whether to let another person ride their horse or not. But personally, I wouldn't stop a woman riding my mare simply because she was pregnant. I would however, stop someone riding my horse if I felt they were incapable of handling the horse.
 
DiNozzo said:
No I don't think it is- however alcohol is a drug, and I personally don't drink anyway, so I would not feel comfortable in being part of essentially drugging an unborn child.
However, I would not prevent the pregnant women doing so- that's her own choice. I just wouldn't be the 'enabler' in the same way that I would not let her ride my horse as I would feel responsible, rightly or wrongly, for anything that went wrong.
I wouldn't look down on them for doing so either, I just wouldn't help.
WindyStacks- I don't drink as I think the effects are dangerous, however, I would not like to be refused anything just because I am a women. But I feel when pregnant you are responsible for the child you are carrying and that to me means not taking unnecessary risks.
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Yes exactly -the pregnant woman is responsible for looking after her unborn baby - not anyone else.
 
This is my first pregnancy and I’m being mega cautious due to family history, I stopped for the first trimester and now I enjoy the odd plod out with OH walking the dog or a bit of schooling in walk (I’m 20 weeks), but she’s my own horse, I’ve had her two years and we have a close relationship, I wouldn’t get on any old horse and even with my supersafe mare it has taken us a while to build a new type of relationship.

If a pregnant friend asked me to ride I’d say no, I’d feel guilty if my horse caused them to fall, no you can’t wrap them in cotton wool but also, why take the chance? Insurance can’t replace a lost baby.
 
Yes. If I thought she was capable of riding it when she wan't pregnant it's up to her what she does. I don't like people telling my what I can or can't do so why should she, pregnant or not.
 
Spring Feather said:
Sorry but all I keep thinking about right now, are those 1950s adverts about women driving cars! What a truly interesting thread this is.
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I am quite shocked too by some of the responses!

So shocked in fact...I'm off to lunge my horse, before returning home to have a glass of wine....
 
MissCandy said:
I don't think saying no is lack of respect for the pregnant woman. It is about what OP is comfortable with. If OP (or anyone) doesn't want to let someone ride thier horse because they consider the risk too great, then it's is OP's decision to make.
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100% this. My horse, my decision, end of.. If pregnant friend really wants to ride then I am sorry, but she would have to go elsewhere.

Not sure how the glass of wine relates to it at all tbh, totally different kettle of fish.
 
I have no problem with pregnant women riding, I did, just not my horse.

I would feel responsible if something happened because of my horse and also the fact that people get taken to court at the drop of the hat would also put me off.

Also I would not let someone who I felt was inexperienced to ride my horse for exactly the same reason.
 
Moomin1 said:
Yes exactly -the pregnant woman is responsible for looking after her unborn baby - not anyone else.
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Yes, but I wouldn't help anyone do something I think is stupid. It is after all the women's choice- I just wouldn't pour it for her.
 
Moomin1 said:
I am quite shocked too by some of the responses!

So shocked in fact...I'm off to lunge my horse, before returning home to have a glass of wine....
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Why so shocked? No one has said pregnant women should be locked away in a padded cell until they give birth... Most people are in agreement that if they had a pregnant friend who wanted to ride their horse, they would decline.
 
AandK said:
100% this. My horse, my decision, end of.. If pregnant friend really wants to ride then I am sorry, but she would have to go elsewhere.

Not sure how the glass of wine relates to it at all tbh, totally different kettle of fish.
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How is it a different kettle of fish?

By telling someone they can't ride your horse, simply because they are pregnant (I am not talking about whether you actually feel they can handle the horse or not), you are making a decision for them on theirs and their unborn baby's safety, because you feel it is a risk. Dr's currently recommend that pregnant women AVOID horse riding, and AVOID alcohol. Therefore, why would you make the decision that riding your horse is too dangerous for a pregnant woman, but not make a decision on whether you would pour her a glass of alcohol? That's the point I am trying to make. Is it a case of pick and choose? That glass of wine may well harm the baby, or it may not. Similarly, riding may cause a fall, harming the baby, or it may not.

Surely that is completely down to the woman to make that decision?

As I say, fair enough if there are reasons behind not allowing someone on your horse - ie, they have never ridden before and don't fully appreciate the dangers, or you know that the person is not capable of handling that particular horse etc. But if someone has regularly ridden your horse, knows what the horse is like and capable of, and is a competent rider themselves, then why should anyone but themselves make that judgement on whether they should continue to ride or not?
 
LJR said:
I have no problem with pregnant women riding, I did, just not my horse.

I would feel responsible if something happened because of my horse and also the fact that people get taken to court at the drop of the hat would also put me off.

Also I would not let someone who I felt was inexperienced to ride my horse for exactly the same reason.
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See that I feel is a more reasoned argument - the fact that many people are scared of being taken to court. That's completely fair enough and a valid reason to decline when someone asks to ride whilst pregnant IMO, because you are making a decision on your position in it all, rather than theirs.
 
AandK said:
Why so shocked? No one has said pregnant women should be locked away in a padded cell until they give birth... Most people are in agreement that if they had a pregnant friend who wanted to ride their horse, they would decline.
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And that is what I am shocked at...
 
Moomin1 said:
But you aren't responsible for the unborn child - she is.

I would be seriously offended if someone told me, as a pregnant woman, what I can and can't do. (Not having a go here, that's just the way I view it as a currently pregnant woman - and possibly a very hormonal one too ;-) )
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I wouldn't tell her she couldn't ride - just not my horse! I would be devestated if something happenned. If she wasnted to take the risk then that fair enough.

We all make our own choices that if we were advising someone else we would advise differently
 
DiNozzo said:
Yes, but I wouldn't help anyone do something I think is stupid. It is after all the women's choice- I just wouldn't pour it for her.
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So would you pour a glass of alcohol for anyone then? Because dr's also advise that drinking is potentially harmful to anyone....not just pregnant women.
 
Moomin, the horses owner has the right not to feel uncomfortable or fearful. Owner's are often held responsible for any fall a rider may suffer. if the owner doesn't want to take that risk then their feelings are equally as important and they should not be ridiculed for them. It is a nice part of being human that we feel protective of a mother/unborn child and not something sinister.
 
One of my friends only had 2 weeks off riding when she had her baby. I'd have let her ride mine but I don't think she'd have wanted to because hers were all big flashy ones and mine was a dobbin.
 
neweventer said:
I wouldn't tell her she couldn't ride - just not my horse! I would be devestated if something happenned. If she wasnted to take the risk then that fair enough.

We all make our own choices that if we were advising someone else we would advise differently
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This is what I struggle with. Why would you be devastated? She made a choice. If she knows the horse, regularly rides it, and is a competent rider, then it is her own decision which would result in her falling off...not down to you. If someone who regularly rides my horse, is competent and knows her falls off and breaks a leg, then I wouldn't feel any more devastated than if they fell off someone else's horse personally. They made that decision. If I let a novice, who didn't know my mare, ride her, and they fell off and broke their leg, then yes, I would definately feel guilty and devastated, because it would be poor judgement on my behalf, not theirs given their lack of experience and judgement around my horse.
 
ozpoz said:
Moomin, the horses owner has the right not to feel uncomfortable or fearful. Owner's are often held responsible for any fall a rider may suffer. if the owner doesn't want to take that risk then their feelings are equally as important and they should not be ridiculed for them. It is a nice part of being human that we feel protective of a mother/unborn child and not something sinister.
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Very very well put!
 
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