Would you PTS in this situation?

So sorry to read this and i feel for you, i hope you have friends and family to help you through and im amazed that you have managed to get sorted so quickly and you are looking at everything in a practical way.

Regarding your old boy, i agree with the others in that i would have him PTS before the winter, plan it ahead as much as you can bear, so you can try to spread the cost a little and you can give him some lovely time before it comes, if he does better in the autumn i would give him that time then before the worst hits call it time, you may appreciate this if he is helping support you through this time. I agree with the others it is the struggling to get up that would concern me most and that it would feel harder if you let him get to that point before making the decision.
 
I have (deliberately) not read other responses on here.

You've said in your post OP that there were a few times last winter when your old boy struggled to get up.

If there were NO other things happening for him, that would be enough for me, but from what you share I think there is quite a lot more happening for him, and more than enough justification for giving him the rest of the summer and then during the Autumn make "the decision" for him.

Just to share my own experience, I had my two oldies (22 and 20 respectively) PTS last Autumn. Both had mobility difficulties, both were pairbonded and it would have been unfair to have left one without the other - but TBH their mobility difficulties were enough of a reason on its own. For a while I'd watched my old boy in the field and he'd not only struggle to get up, but he'd also struggle to get down as well and it was very disconcerting watching him do it...... so the decision was easy. Yes I miss the silly old things immensely, but it was the very least I could do to say "thank you" to two fantastic horses. I did have a friend to support me on the day (one was the previous owner of my mare), and this was very helpful indeed.

Obviously you are feeling guilty and beating yourself up about the financial/economic situation you are in and feeling bad because you can't spend enough money on your horse, but I think that even if you were a millionaire and could throw endless money at the problem, I do not think you would in any way be doing your horse any favours by doing that. With an old horse who's reached the time to let go, you cannot "make it better". And personally I don't think it would be fair to try, even if you could. Unfortunately we've all seen situations (I know I have) where animals are kept alive for sentimental reasons, where it would be much more compassionate to make the humane choice and let them go peacefully.

I'm sooohh very sorry you are in this position, but would respectfully, and as gently as possible, suggest to you that the time is coming for you to let your old boy go; I'd certainly make the decision before the Autumn/Winter weather comes in, where he is going to struggle in the mud and it will be awful for him and distressing for you to watch. Let him have the rest of the summer and then say goodbye sometime in the Autumn would be what I would do.
 
MiJodsR2BlinkinTite said:
I have (deliberately) not read other responses on here.

You've said in your post OP that there were a few times last winter when your old boy struggled to get up.

If there were NO other things happening for him, that would be enough for me, but from what you share I think there is quite a lot more happening for him, and more than enough justification for giving him the rest of the summer and then during the Autumn make "the decision" for him.

Just to share my own experience, I had my two oldies (22 and 20 respectively) PTS last Autumn. Both had mobility difficulties, both were pairbonded and it would have been unfair to have left one without the other - but TBH their mobility difficulties were enough of a reason on its own. For a while I'd watched my old boy in the field and he'd not only struggle to get up, but he'd also struggle to get down as well and it was very disconcerting watching him do it...... so the decision was easy. Yes I miss the silly old things immensely, but it was the very least I could do to say "thank you" to two fantastic horses. I did have a friend to support me on the day (one was the previous owner of my mare), and this was very helpful indeed.

Obviously you are feeling guilty and beating yourself up about the financial/economic situation you are in and feeling bad because you can't spend enough money on your horse, but I think that even if you were a millionaire and could throw endless money at the problem, I do not think you would in any way be doing your horse any favours by doing that. With an old horse who's reached the time to let go, you cannot "make it better". And personally I don't think it would be fair to try, even if you could. Unfortunately we've all seen situations (I know I have) where animals are kept alive for sentimental reasons, where it would be much more compassionate to make the humane choice and let them go peacefully.

I'm sooohh very sorry you are in this position, but would respectfully, and as gently as possible, suggest to you that the time is coming for you to let your old boy go; I'd certainly make the decision before the Autumn/Winter weather comes in, where he is going to struggle in the mud and it will be awful for him and distressing for you to watch. Let him have the rest of the summer and then say goodbye sometime in the Autumn would be what I would do.
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This - absolutely. I have read the replies of others and there are 2 very clear threads: your boy struggling to get up rings the alarm bells for most of us and, secondly, that it would be kinder to let him go before the winter. I would just add one thing - there are often some lovely gentle days in Autumn and, if he is OK, I would be using those to make some memories of him just for me to take forward into the future. I hope that future will enable you to stay connected to the horse world in some way - it needs caring owners like you. I think you know you have much support on here for what you are going through.
 
I wouldn’t be keeping him on until the autumn. You risk finding him down and unable to get up, and that could happen any day now. I would have called time on an older horse when that first happened.

It is always a horrible decision to let a much loved horse go, but this is the right thing to do for him, regardless of your financial situation.
 
Sounds like you are going through an incredibly difficult time.

I too agree that if your horse is struggling to get up it may not fair to keep him going much longer. He could go down overnight and not be able to get up again and that might be distressing for him and cause damage to his internal organs. I would speak to the vet and get their opinion, perhaps upping his bute to two sachets might help but then you have the financial problems of paying for that.

The BSH offer a free service called Friends at the end with people to talk to about this difficult decision and they may be able to provide someone to help on the day, and they have a quality of life chart too which is useful to look at.

https://www.bhs.org.uk/our-work/welfare/our-campaigns/friends-at-the-end

Letting your old friend go will be difficult especially when you are grieving about the breakdown of your marriage, allow yourself to accept that you will be sad. Maybe see if you can stay connected to horses if it is not too painful for you. Perhaps volunteering at a local RDA group would be a change of scene and also a chance to meet new people.
 
I have had to make this choice with much loved family ponies that we had from when the children were small, at one point it was one a year.
I have never regretted doing it and when I look at pictures of how they used to be and how they were at the end it was the right choice.
Just allow your self to grieve for him properly and his deteriorating health is not your fault.
 
Really sorry that you're in this position, OP. I hope you have some good friends to help you through this. My criteria for having any animal pts is their ability to carry out normal behaviours. Mainly mobility, eating, sleeping, bowel and bladder function. In your case, mobility would be the primary concern for me. I'd also do it before Autumn sets in as depending on set up, that can be worse than winter for mud. Many hugs for you and hope that 2020 treats you better (and a middle finger to your ex). xx
 
I am so sorry to hear whats happened.

I would pts, I think thats a fair decision regardless of financial situation. You have given him a brilliant retirement.

My friend told me the other day, the animal has no idea whats going to happen when we say goodbye its only us that understands and feels the pain.
Thinking of you, I really hope things start to look up for you. I am sure a few of us would be happy to talk, if you ever need to have a chat. x
 
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So sorry you are having such a hard time.
I would also have let him go the first time he struggled to get up, it is not an easy choice, but sounds like the only one.
 
Better a month too early than a day too late... I would say his mobility issues would be the decider for me - Bute up for the summer and pts before the first frost would be my plan if he were mine - unless the Bute wasn’t working then it would be sooner
 
I don't think anyone would fairly criticise you for doing so in the circumstances, and many would already have done this even without the financial worries and other stresses you have. Please don't feel you are failing him, you aren't, you are putting his best interests first and foremost. I don't think you should cause yourself additional stress either by delaying. It isn't necessary to delay for his sake, he won't know about it but you will have many second thoughts and worries if you let this hang over you until the autumn/first frost/whatever. Be brave, do it for him and not you with a clear conscience. Then you can move on with your life.
 
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