Would you take offence at this?

[Winters100]

Rigsby has to be slim, nay thin, to be healthy. I have vets backing. I can see 7 ribs. The vet insists that this is necessary for his metabolism to function. We work really hard to keep him this slim. I must admit, I would not feel as comfortable with him at this weight if the vet hadn't insisted. If anyone comments, I will direct them to the vet! 7 ribs is a lot for a not particularly fit cob but his bloods have come back clear of EMS and cushings, so it is working. His coat is good, he has rump muscle.



I have found the same about human weight. I was just into the 'obese' category on BMI. Really not healthy, although, TBH, because I was also fit and toned, I didn't look obese, but defo looked overweight. No one commented. I was big enough that my joints were suffering, I had belly fat and I snored! I am now an ideal weight (4 1/2 stone lighter) and feel fabulous. I have great muscle tone, can cycle/run further, have more energy but... there are ribs! To my amazement, 4 people have told me I am too skinny. One said I wasn't healthy. One said I looked awful! I am bang slap in the middle of my BMI range.

I think people are used to seeing overweight people too.

Rigsby and I are showing solidarity!

Well done you - and I bet that Rigsby also feels great! You are helping him no end in following the vet's advice, and it must be great to see the good results in the tests.

That is a really good point about people. I am by nature a good doer, I gain weight easily, and despite doing a lot of exercise I have to be super careful with what I eat. Sometimes I really feel hungry, but since a bad back injury I know that the only way to keep well is to keep my BMI towards the lower end of the 'healthy' range. Also my horses are definitely not 'weight carriers' (whatever that is), so if I want to ride I have to manage my weight. It drives me nuts when people try to get me to join them in eating cakes and sweets, because sometimes it is really hard to say no. And they always tell me 'but you are lucky, you don't have to worry about your weight' with NO idea that I am only not overweight because I DO worry and deprive myself (I know 'deprive' sounds a bit dramatic, but I really feel that way sometimes). People think nothing of telling me that I am skinny and would look better if I gained a little, but I am sure that they would never tell someone at the other end of the scale that they would benefit from losing a few pounds!

 

[Esyllt]

Wow, what a cheeky madam! Your gang sound like they are well managed, like others have said, people are used to seeing fat horses. My made was obese when I got her this time last year, now we have lost weight and can almost see rib outlines! It's been hard work, especially when I've had people like you have, saying she's being starved... I've decided I don't speak English when they start offering their unwanted opinions, so I can't understand what they are saying or answer back! You could have a really petty moment and enjoy the shock on her face when the nutrionist says hers is fat and yours are fab... poker face at the ready!

 

[Archangel]

Trouble is these people catch you on the hop, but I would have been smiling benignly until this comment

'I'm having a nutritionist come next week, maybe she should look at your horses'.

Then I would have got a bit bent out of shape.

So you are ready... she is going to be much, much, worse after the nutritionist visits. She will know everything and yet nothing then.

You need this:

 

[Winters100]

I’d love to know how you get your good doer to look ‘thin’. I’m struggling to shift weight off mine even though I’ve cut back hay and it’s now soaked for 12 hours. I know what I really need to do is more hard work, but (my) work keeps getting in the way. I’m hoping that starting jumping again will help to shift some.

Well I have to say that I don't think that anyone here would say he is 'thin', but both the vet and I are now happy that he is not fat. TBH it has been really hard work and only achievable because I have time, so I have sympathy for you if your work schedule makes it difficult. With mine the only thing that has saved us is keeping him moving. He works twice a day, 9 or 10 days on and then 1 day off, if I feel he is gaining a bit I sometimes take him out a third time in hand while I ride one of the others. Even if I am just taking my old girl for a gentle hack I figure if he is walking alongside us he is not standing still eating! Infinitely easier and more satisfying to manage poor doer, just prepare extra feeds and if I am not there to give them ask someone else to do it. I have an easy set up for this, my field is accessed through a small paddock, so it is just a matter of shutting her in the paddock alone while she eats, and she knows when mealtimes are!

 

[poiuytrewq]

Quite an attitude to openly say to a relative stranger ‘your horses are skinny’.

From the posts here about livery yards, If i ever find myself at a livery yard, im going to pretend im deaf, so other liveries wont even bother talking to me!

I thought this! Especially a new livery to existing livery client!
The few times I’ve gone to a yard I’ve tried to be lovely to everyone in the hope of being liked!!
What a cheek. Most people don’t see many horses of a good weight and compare them to the over weight horses we are used too these days.

 

[CanteringCarrot]

One of the (many) reasons livery yards annoy me, at least here, is that everyone has their opinions and unsolicited advice. Their advice is usually worth exactly what you paid for it.

It's sort of funny because the unsolicited advice usually comes from the most uneducated/inexperienced people at my yard, who need to take a good long look in the mirror.

 

[ycbm]

Another one to add to my list of reasons I should never go back to livery.

A lot of people would be horrified how thin I have brought Deza out of the back end of winter. Four ribs showing - on a PRE ? - don't you know they're supposed to be well covered !? But it means she's allowed plenty of unsoaked grub when they are in for the day with no danger of raising pulses or threat from a sudden explosion of grass if it rains on a warm day.

I'd be very irritated Winters, but not offended, I would realise that the woman didn't know what she was talking about.
.

 

[scats]

I would be annoyed, but probably not offended. I think people are so used to seeing fat horses that they have no idea what a fit horse should look like anymore. It’s a bit like that in the dog world too.

I would probably tell her that your vet is happy with your horses weight and their diet is carefully managed so that they don’t end up with metabolic issues/laminitis.
(If I was feeling in a right huff about it, I’d print some veterinary stuff out about overweight horses and pop it in her hands when you next see her!)

 

[TPO]

I wouldn't be offended because the opinion of someone who cant tell fit from underweight or recognise their own horse as overweight isn't something worth bothering about or taking to heart.

That wouldn't stop me being p'd off that a relative stranger took it upon themself to confront me with the intention of being rude and trying to cause offense by implying that my horses weren't being cared for properly.

Knowing me I'd probably have gone for the passive aggressive tact of comiserating her lack of understanding then assured her "dont worry I'm sure the nutritionist or your vet will be happy to teach you about basic body scoring to improve the welfare of your overweight horse. Dont worry, we all have to learn, you'll get there".

Ugg people.

 

[Upthecreek]

I wouldn’t be offended or feel the need to justify anything to her. You know your horses best and how they should look. One of mine is currently a bit more covered than I would like, but he is the definition of a good doer and I do everything I can to keep him as trim as I can, but he never looks as fit as my other horse despite my best efforts. Unfortunately unwanted advice is just part of being on a livery yard.

Sadly fat horses and fat dogs are so common that many people think if they can easily see ribs that an animal is underweight.

What a strange way to make friends when you are new to a yard though! You would think she would lay off making judgey comments until she has been there a while at least!!

 

[AUB]

Nope, I’m not easily offended. She probably means well. I’d take a step back and try to look at my horses to see if she had a point.

I had several people tell me that maybe my mare did not need to lose more weight and that she was a tad skinny. I actually had to agree. She had been on a diet after getting a little chubby due to an injury and I hadn’t noticed that it was time to change to a more normal regime. Now I’m actually trying to make her gain a little bit again.

 

[Trouper]

I would want to tell her to go away and come back in a few years' time when she has learned something about horse management.
For livery yard peace and harmony I would probably smile sweetly and ignore.

 

[Widgeon]

I probably would be slightly upset, but you sound confident in your opinion, and chances are she is wrong but had good intentions. I would do as you did - explain that you keep your horses slim on purpose, and that they are in good condition for the job they do. Then I would probably smile so she knows you've not taken great offence, because I really don't think that's worth doing here. (This is all based on the assumption that the other livery is a decent but poorly informed person, not a nosey trouble maker!)

 

[Kat]

You could probably have a lot of fun when the nutritionist comes out. We have had them visit our yard and without fail they tell 90% of owners their horse's are carrying too much condition.

Most people don't know what a fit horse looks like. It can be upsetting owning a poor diet but it is so much healthier for a horse to be a bit underweight than a bit overweight especially at this time of year. Maybe print a few equine obesity crisis articles and pin them to the noticeboard or leave them outside her stable.

 

[Hallo2012]

people have no idea what fit looks like, i wouldnt be offended i would shrug and ignore.

someone told me my pony is just above an RSPCA call a few weeks ago........this is a young native breed stallion and i thik he looks great, she thought he was "skinny"

 

[ycbm]

just above an RSPCA call

?????

 

[HeyMich]

No, I wouldn't be offended, but I would print off a body conditioning score chart and pin it on her stable door. Just for reference.

 

[ownedbyaconnie]

I’m skewed because I have a native but I would take great pleasure at someone saying mine was skinny (knowing they’re probably saying it in a derogatory way). I’d have been overly zealous in my joy and said thank you so much I’ve tried so hard to keep weight down due to all the health/joint issues of having fat horses...like yours.

And then skipped off merrily on my way ?

 

[MuddyMonster]

I wouldn't print anything off & leave it outside stables, IMHO your just asking for potential drama.

If she's well meaning but just mis-educated about weight she'll probably get a bit upset and that conversation is probably better coming from the professional nutritionist. I think some people just don't realise how they come across. She might be so keen to make friends or excited about getting professional advice she wants to give everyone the chance to join, but she's just gone about it a bit of a muddled way.

If she's a nosey trouble maker, then it's akin to waving a red flag and is it really worth it when you know your horse is fine?

 

[Pinkvboots]

Depending on what mood I was in would depend on my reply but I wouldn't be offended pissed off maybe, but I doubt she would be saying it again after my reply.

Both of mine stacked on weight as I didn't ride for over 2 months after Christmas, I am working hard with soaked reduced hay and exercise now to get it off and it is coming off slowly I would rather see a bit of rib than a fat pad.

 

[Tash88]

I got this from a barely functioning alcoholic livery a couple of months ago about my retired WB x TB, who is living out with access to ad lib hay. She said she thought he looked 'chiselled', and was telling me because she loved him .

Yes he had dropped a bit but he was warm with a thick coat (rugged when necessary), was coming out of winter and about to go into the new fields. Everyone else tells me how fantastic he looks (including the vet who came around a similar time).

I replied that I loved him very much too and that I was keeping an eye on him and that he was fine... She's never mentioned it since.

Novicey owners can be full of opinions, I'm sure in a few years' time she will be a bit more humble! I'd be annoyed rather than offended or worried though.

 

[Hallo2012]

?????

cant see your emojis on work pc but im guessing your eyebrows are also in your hairline......... he will continue to gallop with my friends eventer in order to maintain this level of emaciation lol!

 

[Mule]

Mine is thinner than he normally is, coming in to this time of year. I had one person comment on it. Tbh he looks great and it should help him when the grass comes through.

 

[Tarragon]

If I was slightly unsure of myself that sort of comment would worry me. I was very much a novice owner when I got my first pony as an adult, and deliberately chose a livery yard where I could call upon the experience of others, and regularly sought and took advice. Over the years, I found that the advice I was being given was as varied as opinions on how to bring up children, and started to form my own opinions. Now, I am reasonably confident and can look at my ponies objectively and know that they look good and are happy.
If I were you, I would have had mixed reaction of annoyance and and a feeling of superiority! You could bring your horses along when the nutritionist visits and let the professional use them as an example of what your lady should aspire to

 

[Winters100]

someone told me my pony is just above an RSPCA call a few weeks ago........this is a young native breed stallion and i thik he looks great, she thought he was "skinny"

Seriously? Your pony looks great!

 

[Winters100]

someone told me my pony is just above an RSPCA call a few weeks ago........this is a young native breed stallion and i thik he looks great, she thought he was "skinny"

Seriously? Your pony looks great!

 

[dogatemysalad]

Would I be offended by the opinion of a novice owner of an obese horse ? Hmm, let me think. Lol, Nah. It's a useful indicator that the newbie is one of the liveries that when you see her, you smile and keep moving.
However, if the opinion came from my YO with decades of experience of producing competition horses, I wouldn't be offended, I'd stop and have a conversation.
Opinions are free, but some are worth more than others.

 

[canteron]

The more I learn about horses, the less I realise I know!!

My guess is she is at the beginning of a learning curve, forgive her that .... but if she is too opinionated too often then maybe give her a wide berth!

 

[Amun]

Speaking for myself, I learned in my life that once you allow this kind of behavior, it will only become worse. So I would just notify a yard owner that a new person accused me of not feeding my horses and leave it at that, just for record. If the situation would happen again, would go to the yard owner again that he/she needs to sort this out.

 

[southerncomfort]

I have a young Fell pony who has come out of winter very lean.

I was panicking a bit but after consulting other Fell owners and breeders I'm now reassured that he is spot on and is exactly how you want them at this time of year.

Generally if someone gives me an unasked for opinion I stop and think 'is their even the smallest grain of truth there'. If I still think they're talking tosh I just completely ignore it.

Lately I've had someone criticise the way I'm working with and backing my youngster. I gave it some thought and looked at my sweet, kind boy who has such a happy and enthusiastic attitude to his work, and I have no worries at all. We're having a blast together and that matters so much more than other people's opinions.

Winters - your horses are happy and well cared for so don't give it a second thought.