wwyd dilemma

It's funny how sweet itch is a perfectly manageable problem in a rideable horse, but suddenly becomes a major problem when it's retired. We have one here that has it. He's been her 7 years and it is no big problem to keep him comfortable, so long as he wears his rug in the summer. When I was looking for my latest horse, I went to see a mare with sweet itch. Quite prepared to take her on, except I found she was lame. I would expect to have the price reduced for a horse with sweet itch, but it's not a deal breaker. All the horses here wear fly rugs in the summer.
 
Patterdale said:
I have a child, but not grown up. I will always teach him that if he has pets, they are his responsibility and it is up to him to make provision for their care if his circumstances change.
If I found out that my son was planning to have a previously much loved pet killed because he'd gone off it/didn't want the hassle of it, I would be mortified.
I managed to move out of home with an elderly pony with Cushings without the necessity to have it shot. It's not impossible, or uncommon.



This.
The sugary language on this thread is really getting quite sick inducing. Say it like it is or don't say it.
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it isnt a dog/cat/gerbil though is it? its a horse which cost a lot of money.....

I would never rehome/pts one of my dog's if they "didnt fit in"....but my dog's are my family - my life does literally work around them!

the horse however, is not a pet.....and yes if mine was old/unsellable i wouldnt hesitate to pts (i did once.... he was lame though and wasnt viable to keep him for another 10 + years.. paying for a lawn mower...)

so yes - call me horrible/cruel but an old horse with no decent prospects would be pts if mine...there are fate's worse than death....!
 
Wagtail said:
That has really upset me. Poor little mare. It's just heart breaking.
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I saw many bad things but that affected me the most so badly I think I knew then I needed to give it up .
I seriously considered going back for her I knew it would be seriously frowned upon and I would have had to give money to a horrible man and my OH would have gone potty she cost me my detachment that mare .
 
MSR I am neither young or, with 44 years of owning,loaning and working with horses , inexperienced and i have had to face this issue. Whilst my situation differed from OP in some ways I did make that decision for both my horse AND my sake. my life changed very dramatically which i could not have forseen or wished for trust me.yes ideally a horse is for life but sometimes life takes control But baby had 7 more good happy years with me which she prob wouldnt have had if i hadnt bought her. It is such an emotive subject and not aleays so black and white sadly x
 
Mithras said:
Thank goodness for someone saying this. I must have been brought up that way too. I am shocked at the parents who are saying how awful it would be if their children were inconvenienced by having a horse they had got bored with - do they not think there is a greater lesson to be learned in what type of person they are raising? I don't think encouraging people to throw away animals like an old pair of shoes is to be encouraged. How sad that its become some kind of radical, extreme viewpoint.

Or you could view it that my children were being brought up to be practical & responsible. Far too many horse owners aren't either, which is why we end up with so many old, lame, unwanted horses trawling around the country at low end auctions before being drugged up & mis-sold or ending up at Potters.
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Wagtail said:
It's funny how sweet itch is a perfectly manageable problem in a rideable horse, but suddenly becomes a major problem when it's retired.
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In the same way you get all these competitive riders who have horses purely to compete on - what sort of level are they competing at that they can simply pts a horse because it goes lame? I mean, how important is the competition to them? Are they likely to be selected for World and European teams, or are we just putting a few rosettes before the value of a life?

If you're any good in the horse world, people will get you to ride their horses for them. If you're not, or you can't be bothered with the hassle, how high is the level you're competing at anyway?
 
Wagtail said:
It's funny how sweet itch is a perfectly manageable problem in a rideable horse, but suddenly becomes a major problem when it's retired.
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Nothing to do with op's decision making but I find this perplexing as well, especially in light of the job v pet thread.
Individual horses basic needs are the same whether retired or working.

The questions around pts really are, is the horse suffering with no hope of any meaningful recovery/quality of life or is the owner left with no other option surely?
How you ended up in a situation is meaningless to the decision but may well be a stark learning experience!
 
Goldenstar said:
Only in a fully electric fenced paddock and the retirement liverys I know dont stable during the worse times of day or remove rugs daily , the retirement liverys I know would not be suitable for a sweet itch horse .
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^^ this, it can be a pretty high maintenance condition which I don't think most retirement liveries would cater for, in which case your alternative is that the OP potentially stays with her parents, does not get her own family life etc until she is 35? (on the assumption that finances continue to be prohibitive)
 
Patterdale said:
Well what is it then!? Unless her parents are sticking pins in her or putting arsenic in her cocoa it's not really anything more than a hassle or inconvenience, is it??
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Living in the family home means living by family rules, which inevitably get in the way of growing up. While comparing electricity providers, for example, is no fun it is part of becoming an adult that you miss out on if you live at home. It stops you learning to depend on yourself the same way.

We also don't know how the OP's parents feel about her living at home. They might be really upset about her leaving, but they might be wishing they could go back to being a couple. They could be begging her to stay, or they could be guilting her out, we don't know.
 
HazyXmas said:
Or you could view it that my children were being brought up to be practical & responsible. Far too many horse owners aren't either, which is why we end up with so many old, lame, unwanted horses trawling around the country at low end auctions before being drugged up & mis-sold or ending up at Potters.
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But I don't think the OP or anyone else is suggesting drugging the horse and sending it to auction. Being practical and responsible means thinking ahead to the milestones in life. Growing up and wanting to leave home is hardly an unforeseen life event.
If every young person who left home to go to uni or get their own home, had their horse put down, the livery yards would be empty.
My children were taught to take responsibility for the commitments they took on.
 
amandap said:
Nothing to do with op's decision making but I find this perplexing as well, especially in light of the job v pet thread.
Individual horses basic needs are the same whether retired or working.

The questions around pts really are, is the horse suffering with no hope of any meaningful recovery/quality of life or is the owner left with no other option surely?
How you ended up in a situation is meaningless to the decision but may well be a stark learning experience!
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yes but if the horse had a job the OP could sell/loan etc and someone would consider taking on the sweetitch for a rideable horse, fewer wanting to take that on with a retired animal (and we all know the pitfalls of passing them on anyway). Essentially it is much easier to get rid of a horse if finances are problematic if it is younger.
 
Mithras said:
In the same way you get all these competitive riders who have horses purely to compete on - what sort of level are they competing at that they can simply pts a horse because it goes lame? I mean, how important is the competition to them? Are they likely to be selected for World and European teams, or are we just putting a few rosettes before the value of a life?

If you're any good in the horse world, people will get you to ride their horses for them. If you're not, or you can't be bothered with the hassle, how high is the level you're competing at anyway?
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I've done the riding other peoples competition horses whilst keeping an unrideable horse going, and when you are working every hour god sends to afford the horse, plus finding time to head to another yard and school/do fitness work with the comp horse becomes a major strain. I do this because I enjoy it - I want a horse to ride and compete, winning irrespective. Not to say I wouldn't try everything treatment wise including long term rest if I think my horse will come sound, but if that's it? No.
 
I left my two at my parents for years before i could afford to move them with me - i do now have a house with land but its been a long time coming! I sometimes wonder if, with hindsight, i would have done things differently - they lived v happily together semi retired during that time but did miss out on the TLC my horses get now. It was also a lot of responsibility for my mum and i do realise that i was quite selfish - i couldnt keep them myself but wanted to keep them (i got an offer to place one on loan (at a very good place with someone i trusted) but as the two were devoted to each other i couldnt do it). I was very lucky that during that time they were never sick and with decent rugs they lived out. I would go home generally every other weekend in that time (and holidays would be spent at home) but i cant honestly say anything other than i left my mum to carry the burden (she does however now miss them terribly!). In your circumstances OP i dont know what i would do - its not easy. One of my mares is now in her twenties and will have a home with me forever. Only you know how you will feel/cope with the decision but i know i wouldnt let mine go somewhere else as a companion or loan etc now - as an older slightly arthritic companion mare i wouldnt want to risk where she could end up.
 
khalswitz said:
I've done the riding other peoples competition horses whilst keeping an unrideable horse going, and when you are working every hour god sends to afford the horse, plus finding time to head to another yard and school/do fitness work with the comp horse becomes a major strain. I do this because I enjoy it - I want a horse to ride and compete, winning irrespective. Not to say I wouldn't try everything treatment wise including long term rest if I think my horse will come sound, but if that's it? No.
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Yes. but competing in any sport is difficult. Its usually those people who are prepared to make sacrifices who do well in the end. And you will have developed certain approaches and coping strategies and discipline which will help you when you are competing.

Perhaps though in the horse world there is a certain element of buying success which you cannot do for instance in athletics.
 
ester said:
yes but if the horse had a job the OP could sell/loan etc and someone would consider taking on the sweetitch for a rideable horse, fewer wanting to take that on with a retired animal (and we all know the pitfalls of passing them on anyway). Essentially it is much easier to get rid of a horse if finances are problematic if it is younger.
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This might come under the owner having no other option?
 
undergroundoli said:
Living in the family home means living by family rules, which inevitably get in the way of growing up. While comparing electricity providers, for example, is no fun it is part of becoming an adult that you miss out on if you live at home. It stops you learning to depend on yourself the same way.
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Equally, the OP could find that once she leaves home, everything becomes much more achievable, once she is in control of her own life, and that her motivation comes back...
 
The thing is, it is perfectly understandable that the OP wants to move out and set up with her boyfriend. I don't think anyone is arguing against that very natural desire. And in this particular case, the mare does not have many options open to her. It is either retirement paid for by the OP, or PTS. The OP said she cannot afford to retire her. Her posts come across that she resents the mare. Her boyfriend does not want her to PTS. Nothing has been said about the view of her mother. Boyfriend thinks she might regret it. Yet strangers who do not know her are urging her to PTS. What if the person who knows her is actually right and she ends up regretting it and being haunted by her decision?

From the horse's POV it seems like the best outcome would be for her to be retired, but OP is not prepared to do this and so the only solution is to PTS.
 
crazyhorse37 said:
A horse is for life, not just for when it suits you. This is something that you need to think about before you buy a horse, no matter whether you were misled. At some point she still would have got to this age. Putting her down for your own benefit is totally irresponsible. When family become a burden we don't give them a meal and 'put them down'. Sorry, I think that you have to find a solution other than the easy way out above. Charities are over-run because of people not thinking about the consequences of buying a horse.
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Agree 100%
 
Wagtail said:
The thing is, it is perfectly understandable that the OP wants to move out and set up with her boyfriend. I don't think anyone is arguing against that very natural desire. And in this particular case, the mare does not have many options open to her. It is either retirement paid for by the OP, or PTS. The OP said she cannot afford to retire her. Her posts come across that she resents the mare. Her boyfriend does not want her to PTS. Nothing has been said about the view of her mother. Boyfriend thinks she might regret it. Yet strangers who do not know her are urging her to PTS. What if the person who knows her is actually right and she ends up regretting it and being haunted by her decision?

From the horse's POV it seems like the best outcome would be for her to be retired, but OP is not prepared to do this and so the only solution is to PTS.
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It's already been retired for two years at OP's expense. She can't afford to move out & continue with livery fees i believe?
 
Mithras said:
Yes. but competing in any sport is difficult. Its usually those people who are prepared to make sacrifices who do well in the end. And you will have developed certain approaches and coping strategies and discipline which will help you when you are competing.

Perhaps though in the horse world there is a certain element of buying success which you cannot do for instance in athletics.
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Exactly - competing any any sport is difficult enough as it is, without starting out with a lame horse and relying on people's goodness to let you ride their horses. No one will see you ride and therefore invest their time into you if you aren't out doing it, and you can't with a lame horse! Not a case of buying success, but trying your damnedest to succeed, which includes having the right horse for the job.

If it was a horse that, say, loved dressage but refused when jumping, and therefore we were struggling to succeed eventing, how many people would tell me to sell it? With a lame horse, irrespective of age, you have no option to sell. So why limit all your hard work, dreams and ambition because of that?

I understand that not everyone will agree with me, and to be fair if I had my own land and could keep them in a field for their retirement without the expense of livery limiting me to one horse, then sure, I would. But those aren't my circumstances, and why I should then have to stop trying to achieve my dreams doesn't add up to me. I also would never own a horse that I wasn't seeing to myself daily, so one of these stick-em-in-a-field retirement liveries in anathema to me.
 
Wagtail said:
The thing is, it is perfectly understandable that the OP wants to move out and set up with her boyfriend. I don't think anyone is arguing against that very natural desire. And in this particular case, the mare does not have many options open to her. It is either retirement paid for by the OP, or PTS. The OP said she cannot afford to retire her. Her posts come across that she resents the mare. Her boyfriend does not want her to PTS. Nothing has been said about the view of her mother. Boyfriend thinks she might regret it. Yet strangers who do not know her are urging her to PTS. What if the person who knows her is actually right and she ends up regretting it and being haunted by her decision?

From the horse's POV it seems like the best outcome would be for her to be retired, but OP is not prepared to do this and so the only solution is to PTS.
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This might be entirely projection on my part, but I get the impression the OP has not had to pay livery fees or travel to do the horse at a DIY yard before, but has always kept her at home.

There are plenty of people who do so. Unless the OP is on benefits and the breadline, how can she not find the money to continue to pay for her horse at a cheap DIY yard, or pay someone local to look after her for at home? Or is it more of a case of can't be bothered? In which case, I think the OP should give it a go at least, as otherwise she might regret it.

Its not as if loads of horseowners don't face this dilemma - life changes, not everyone has the benefit of keeping horses at home and not livery.
 
Mithras said:
There are plenty of people who do so. Unless the OP is on benefits and the breadline, how can she not find the money to continue to pay for her horse at a cheap DIY yard, or pay someone local to look after her for at home?
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I rather assumed she did keep the mare at the yard, I thought the OP said something about going off to see her. She is in Essex though, so cheap DIY yards are thin on the ground and 24hr turn out even more so.
 
ester said:
Seriously Mithras you think anyone who works should have £200 a month spare??
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THIS EXACTLY

Mithras you are being soo unrealistic it is untrue. When I worked with horses I earned minimum wage and there is NO way I could have afforded £200 a month to run a horse.
 
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