WWYD/pay???

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So, you knew that your friend 'was a tad slack' welfare wise, yet you let her care for your horse, and didn't get someone else to help you check to make sure all was well with your horse?

I'm sorry OP, but that makes it even worse. :eek:

First off, I would not be leaving my horse with someone who is 'a tad slack' welfare wise. Second off, IF I ever did leave my horse with them (not that I would), I most certainly would be keeping, or getting someone to keep, a very close eye on the horse's welfare.

And again, you may not have been able to physically get the horse out of the field to check him yourself, but why didn't you ask someone else (the friend even) to do it for you, and you could inspect him whilst she lifted legs, hosed etc etc.

Was the rug on or off?:confused:
 
jhoward said:
again this was not possible. and the agreement which was her offering was to look after him



not as such hed done all the ground work with me she just put light weight kids on him and increased the weight of the child.




i couldnt check his legs he was in a field of mud and i couldnt get him out on my own.

friend is known for being a tad slack (think rspca being up to see her more than once) which is why i was trying my hardest to ensure he was getting feeds into him .

i dont want to be harsh on her, peed off yes but i dont want to do her out of money hence the wwyd.

tbh i never want to speak her again but again i dont want to be unfair
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I am completely baffled. If this friend had the RSPCA out on many occasions I am supprised that you entrusted your horse at all to her care. I am also concerned about the fact that you were perplexed that she was more worried about her paralysed child, in a different country, than your horse.
 
justabob said:
I am completely baffled. If this friend had the RSPCA out on many occasions I am supprised that you entrusted your horse at all to her care. I am also concerned about the fact that you were perplexed that she was more worried about her paralysed child, in a different country, than your horse.
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I am beginning to think OP is telling porkies! ;)

At least, I hope she is. Or I would seriously worry about her integrity as a responsible horse owner.
 
Black Beastie said:
If you dont want to pay her then dont pay her, simplez.

This whole thing is a bit confusing. So was the rug on or off when you were going up? He could have gotten the rainscald due to rug being put on wet horse and not being breathable, so that one I will give the benefit of the doubt JH.

Personally if your annoyed at the state of the horse then speak to her about it then decide what you want to do. If you were going up daily and never noticed then you can hardly take it out on her.

I hope you r hand is better and you can get back to normality and back to having things the way you would do them :)
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again id not been going up daily as much as i could but not daily.

ofcourseyoucan said:
well grass does not grow for free, neither does fencing, nor water!nor insurance. a grand for keeping a horse for 7 months is cheap. hay is nearly £5 bale and at 17 hands he would be eating a bale a day.many people manage with one hand. some have no choice. Your friend didnt make you sell your horse you chose to.
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i do agree with most of that, but thats where the issues start ... put it this way a heston bale of hay lasts a heard of 6 a week being put out twice a day. it wasnt enough my lad was cold hungry and miserable and became a pain in the but which i do not for a second dispute/question.

i have not decided to sell my lad, it was forced on me, my oh gave me the option of finacial help but the horse needs to be doing something, he is a quirky ****** at times and with half a hand and being a short arse i struggle, at the end of the day i done what was best for my wonderful horse.

if hed been able to remain in the field id never of for one second thought of selling him, id of taken a chance on the future .
 
justabob said:
I am completely baffled. If this friend had the RSPCA out on many occasions I am supprised that you entrusted your horse at all to her care. I am also concerned about the fact that you were perplexed that she was more worried about her paralysed child, in a different country, than your horse.
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dont twist things, i said when she was in trouble i also helped her. with no question:rolleyes:
 
Moomin1 said:
I am beginning to think OP is telling porkies! ;)

At least, I hope she is. Or I would seriously worry about her integrity as a responsible horse owner.
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Moomin, the whole post has me in total confusion, mind you I am easily confused by confused posters.
 
jhoward said:
again id not been going up daily as much as i could but not daily.



i do agree with most of that, but thats where the issues start ... put it this way a heston bale of hay lasts a heard of 6 a week being put out twice a day. it wasnt enough my lad was cold hungry and miserable and became a pain in the but which i do not for a second dispute/question.

i have not decided to sell my lad, it was forced on me, my oh gave me the option of finacial help but the horse needs to be doing something, he is a quirky ****** at times and with half a hand and being a short arse i struggle, at the end of the day i done what was best for my wonderful horse.

if hed been able to remain in the field id never of for one second thought of selling him, id of taken a chance on the future .
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So you blame your friend for your financial difficulties?
 
OP Im not sure justabob has twisted anything. It came across that way when you wrote your comment about it. it seemed to have resentment about driving people around.
However as you say you helped out as required and therefore all is well.
I would prob give a grand for her time and land and as she is a friend- assuming i want her to continue to be her friend!
 
I think you need to forget about what would happen if he was still out with that herd. It is not their responsibility to provide this, if you cannot afford it elsewhere then you have chosen to sell the horse and had your hand forced by not having the money or time etc to move the horse elsewhere.

If your OH is offering financial help move the horse onto full grass livery elsewhere if he'd be fine out in a herd. I don't like the stance that this one person not wanting your horse out with the herd is responsible for you selling though. If she'd never offered help in the first place what would you have done?
 
Moomin1 said:
I am beginning to think OP is telling porkies! ;)

At least, I hope she is. Or I would seriously worry about her integrity as a responsible horse owner.
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ffs no im not.

right the picture..

single work full time earn a good wage have own business, have home car horse money.

have accident, (thanks horse) that losesme evrything as have to go on benefits.


horse was on livery at a mates. she couldnt carry on loooking after him, friend offered.

i was not keen but whilst trying desperatly to keep hold of my lad i agreed .. i get to keep horse, friend gets a sum of dosh she really needs.

the past i dont agree with no, her horses get skiiny in the fat in the summer they all live, i took the same stance. i was desperate i took the only option i had.

ffs telling porkies, .. you have no idea you really dont. im peed off with friend. but ven when im being told by oh etc not to give her so much i still feel i should hence the god damn post.
 
It's not your friends fault that you had to sell your horse .... Sounds like she had a badly behaved squatter. You could have made alternative arrangements for the horse - no one forced you to keep the horse there as opposed to elsewhere.

I'm backing out of this now as you are coming across very badly !
 
MileAMinute said:
Still waiting to know why you chose to entrust your horse's care to a lady who clearly has issues looking after animals/equines!
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I'm still waiting for OP to actually 'fess up and tell us this is all a silly joke.

Otherwise, I seriously worry for the welfare of her horses.
 
At least a grand- if your friend hadn't had him then you would have had to pay at least grass livery + hay + the stabling costs to a professional.
 
MileAMinute said:
Still waiting to know why you chose to entrust your horse's care to a lady who clearly has issues looking after animals/equines!
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Because I had little options I had my accident in July Aug no one knew the outcome, we always knew recovery was 6 months to a year ..no one knew it would go wrong and id need a second op

SusieT said:
At least a grand- if your friend hadn't had him then you would have had to pay at least grass livery + hay + the stabling costs to a professional.
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So a grand is fare. I still think so oh disagrees
 
jhoward said:
Because I had little options I had my accident in July Aug no one knew the outcome, we always knew recovery was 6 months to a year ..no one knew it would go wrong and id need a second op



So a grand is fare. I still think so oh disagrees
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Is this for real OP? Seriously?!

I repeat, if this is true, then HOW was it so difficult for you to spot that your horse was being neglected?
 
if you have your own busimess and self employed i dont think you are ELIGBLE for benefits. that is why you should have inusrance and income protection policies.and as you have an OH you shouldnt be getting benefits anyhow.
 
jhoward said:
Because I had little options I had my accident in July Aug no one knew the outcome, we always knew recovery was 6 months to a year ..no one knew it would go wrong and id need a second op
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I appreciate it's a difficult time and that when the accident happened emergency care was sought, whoever and whatever it was. I'm lucky that when I've been hospitalised that I've had a very knowledgeable friend and fellow livery look after my chappie.
BUT....if you've always known you were going to have 6 months to a year recovery, why did you not seek a better place for your lad to stay, knowing this lady is slack in care?
 
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ofcourseyoucan said:
if you have your own busimess and self employed i dont think you are ELIGBLE for benefits. that is why you should have inusrance and income protection policies.and as you have an OH you shouldnt be getting benefits anyhow.
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It was a new business building it up 3 days a week I had an employed job for the record oh is newish and is registered disabled... Wanna pick that one to shreds too?

ofcourseyoucan said:
most people manage to check legs whilst in a muddy field. perhaps you need to have your sight tested
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Ffs tomorrow to shut you all up and make you understand I will take pictures of the set up. I could not get horse out of field




MileAMinute said:
I appreciate it's a difficult time and that when the accident happened emergency care was sought, whoever and whatever it was. I'm lucky that when I've been hospitalised that I've had a very knowledgeable friend and fellow livery look after my chappie.
BUT....if you've always known you were going to have 6 months to a year recovery, why did you not seek a better place for your lad to stay, knowing this lady is slack in care?
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money. I had none and preyed the recovery would be quicker rather than slower I took a chance
 
jhoward said:
It was a new business building it up 3 days a week I had an employed job for the record oh is newish and is registered disabled... Wanna pick that one to shreds too?



Ffs tomorrow to shut you all up and make you understand I will take pictures of the set up. I could not get horse out of field


money. I had none and preyed the recovery would be quicker rather than slower I took a chance
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You could not get the horse out of the field. We have established that.

Why couldn't you have asked somebody who was capable of getting the horse out of the field, to check the horse infront of you, given that you knew this friend had previous welfare wise?

I reiterate, either this is a complete wind up and you are trolling for some stupid reason, or your integrity is seriously lacking.

PS - if you had no money to ensure the responsible and adequate care of your horse, you shouldn't have them. Simple.
 
Firstly please excuse typos as computer is out of action and typing this on my phone.
Picture this..... You have had a serious life changing accident. You have lost everything job income can't drive etc well that is what has happened to the OP.
In a split second her world has fell apart. She took the option of asking a friend to look after her "Boy" whilst she was under an immense amount of pressure.I am not going to debate if that was write or wrong as we all do things we regret in hind site. She new the mate was not the best option but was the only option.However she only wanted her boy to be left out in a herd with appropriate protection. Knowing that the mate was lax on the feeding side of things the OP decided it was best to keep an eye on her boys weight. Which she did try to do.
In retrospect may be it would have been better to sell her boy However I understand and sympathize with the OP decision she was desperately trying to cling on to some THING SHE LOVED whilst her world fell apart.
With her injuries and the field set up and a horse she would not have been able to catch she was unable to make close inspection of him but he seemed ok.
However since selling, which I am sure was a very very hard decision it came to light her boy had some issues not major or RSPCA issues but issues OP was not happy with as clearly SHE is a responsible owner and attacks on her are uncalled for. Talk about kicking some one when they are down. Come on have some compassion.
As for the money, well you promised her some thing there in lies the rub. She has looked after your boy she took him in when you were at your lowest thus for the time spent I think £1000 is a fair sum. Yes you helped her in her time of need but a promises is a promises.
The practical side in me would sit with her and discuss your issues. After all you are both adults ask her what she thinks is a fair sum, she may say less £1000 !
However chalk this up to a bad experience lesson learned and move on.
One last point think carefully about how much the insurance pay you out and look at the sum you are going to give her % wise of the pay out as a £1000 may be a large chunk. I am not saying not to give her £1000 as that sounds like a fair sum, but perhaps ratchet the payments to her until you are totally on your feet again.
OP I am sorry for your situation and I hope that you make a speedy recovery all the best for the future. Not for one second do I believe you are a Troll.
 
Armas said:
Firstly please excuse typos as computer is out of action and typing this on my phone.
Picture this..... You have had a serious life changing accident. You have lost everything job income can't drive etc well that is what has happened to the OP.
In a split second her world has fell apart. She took the option of asking a friend to look after her "Boy" whilst she was under an immense amount of pressure.I am not going to debate if that was write or wrong as we all do things we regret in hind site. She new the mate was not the best option but was the only option.However she only wanted her boy to be left out in a herd with appropriate protection. Knowing that the mate was lax on the feeding side of things the OP decided it was best to keep an eye on her boys weight. Which she did try to do.
In retrospect may be it would have been better to sell her boy However I understand and sympathize with the OP decision she was desperately trying to cling on to some THING SHE LOVED whilst her world fell apart.
With her injuries and the field set up and a horse she would not have been able to catch she was unable to make close inspection of him but he seemed ok.
However since selling, which I am sure was a very very hard decision it came to light her boy had some issues not major or RSPCA issues but issues OP was not happy with as clearly SHE is a responsible owner and attacks on her are uncalled for. Talk about kicking some one when they are down. Come on have some compassion.
As for the money, well you promised her some thing there in lies the rub. She has looked after your boy she took him in when you were at your lowest thus for the time spent I think £1000 is a fair sum. Yes you helped her in her time of need but a promises is a promises.
The practical side in me would sit with her and discuss your issues. After all you are both adults ask her what she thinks is a fair sum, she may say less £1000 !
However chalk this up to a bad experience lesson learned and move on.
One last point think carefully about how much the insurance pay you out and look at the sum you are going to give her % wise of the pay out as a £1000 may be a large chunk. I am not saying not to give her £1000 as that sounds like a fair sum, but perhaps ratchet the payments to her until you are totally on your feet again.
OP I am sorry for your situation and I hope that you make a speedy recovery all the best for the future. Not for one second do I believe you are a Troll.
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Oh that's ok then, all is forgiven! OP loves her horse, and she was in a desperate position, so it's fine to leave your horse with someone who is known to have issues looking after them! :rolleyes:

What to me is even more worrying than that, is that OP was attending most days, and yet she still didn't bother (knowing the issues with this woman) making arrangements to check the horse's health thoroughly. As I keep saying, it's not bloomin difficult or rocket science to get a friend/relative to check the horse over for you every few days, especially if OP had concerns about her 'friends' capabilities.

All this rubbish about not being able to hose legs, open gates etc etc, really doesn't wash with me. There are plenty of ways around these things. What if OP went up to feed one day and found the horse to have a gaping wound bleeding out? Would she have just walked away saying 'oh I can't deal with it because I can't use one hand?' (then again I am beginning to wonder if she would have even noticed given this charade).

It's amazing how regular posters on here can do no wrong, even when it comes to welfare of their horses, yet if this was a new poster they would be shot down in flames and this thread would be pages long by now. :rolleyes:
 
And the moral of this sad saga?

Always, always agree the details of any 'business' arrangement in advance, write down what is agreed and what is expected of each side especially when the 'business' arrangement is between friends otherwise you run the risk of misunderstandings and falling out with friends.
 
Nobody can advise you on how much to pay your friend for the keep of your horse. no one can judge the rights and wrongs of the whole saga. You must sit down and discuss it with your friend.

You had your problems and she had hers - get over it and support each other as that is what friends are for, not to bitch about on a public forum.
 
Moomin1 said:
Oh that's ok then, all is forgiven! OP loves her horse, and she was in a desperate position, so it's fine to leave your horse with someone who is known to have issues looking after them! :rolleyes:

What to me is even more worrying than that, is that OP was attending most days, and yet she still didn't bother (knowing the issues with this woman) making arrangements to check the horse's health thoroughly. As I keep saying, it's not bloomin difficult or rocket science to get a friend/relative to check the horse over for you every few days, especially if OP had concerns about her 'friends' capabilities.

All this rubbish about not being able to hose legs, open gates etc etc, really doesn't wash with me. There are plenty of ways around these things. What if OP went up to feed one day and found the horse to have a gaping wound bleeding out? Would she have just walked away saying 'oh I can't deal with it because I can't use one hand?' (then again I am beginning to wonder if she would have even noticed given this charade).

It's amazing how regular posters on here can do no wrong, even when it comes to welfare of their horses, yet if this was a new poster they would be shot down in flames and this thread would be pages long by now. :rolleyes:
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How can you comment on her ability to accesses the field. Sorry but you don't know the extent of OP injuries if the OP states she could not accesses the field I will give her the benefit of the doubt in that respect.

I would imagine that if the OP had seen her horse in discomfort or injured she would call for help. As is she did not see any signs o neglect.
No one on this forum was there no one witnessed any of this. I find it very hypocritical of people to judge with out actually seeing pictures etc.

Frankly I am new to this forum I am a new horse owner 1 year. I judge by what I read and not on how long the person has been a member.

I think the OP has learned a valuable lesson in where she has put her trust.
 
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