WWYD - very odd message from seller?

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oldyork

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I'm not posting this under my usual username but wanted to get some advice.

I bought a horse 7 years ago for sensible money from a seller who didn't really want to sell but needed the money. At the time, I said I would never sell and I still mean that today - the horse has been great and a wonderful horse for me and he will have a home for life with me. However, he is getting older and is now semi-retired, living out in the field at my parents who look after him well. I used to send the seller occasional photos to let him know the horse was well but never heard anything back and I have not heard from the seller in 5 years.

Then out of the blue, I got a text from the seller, as follows:-

'Hi, really sorry to text you out of the blue and I don't know if you can help me. I've got a young gelding in my herd with 7 mares and he's getting spoilt in a bad way. I was wondering if you were still using P at all and if not, would there be any way I could have him back, because he could take the gelding under his wing. Hope all well with you'

I replied to say that the horse would stay with me, was having a quieter life but still much loved and looking great for his age.

To which, I got the following:-

'Oh excellent. Sorry was just trying to give you an opt out for him. So you've been seeing to him everyday all this winter? Sorry for the curiosity but one feels a responsibility towards the horses one sells :)'

Just wondering what everyone thinks of this and whether I should reply or not. There is a little bit of background in that an old boyfriend often expressed the opinion that the horse was being wasted in the field and is a mutual friend of the seller and since we didn't exactly part on great terms, I am just a little wary of why all of sudden after 5 years, there is this curiosity on the part of the seller.

WWYD?
 
Either:
a. Ignore
or
b. Send a text saying along the lines of: Thank you for your concern, horse (name) is doing fine and is happy. He is here for life as previously said over 7 years ago. Wishing you all the best with your herd now & in the future, cheers oldyork
 
Ignore it. He is your horse now not her's so he is none of her business.

As for the old BF saying you wasted him, what utter tosh..Sounds like you love him very much, provide for his needs and given him a happy life. A horse has no ambitions, that's a human trait we project onto them, it makes me sad and angry that people think they have the right to make this comment.
Put it all out your mind, remind yourself you have loved and cared and had fun with a lovely horse, and move on xx.
 
i am on the fence with this one she may have been told all sorts and it may have given her cause to worry, yes its a bit late but whats the harm in putting her mind at rest by telling her he is semi retired and living at your parents so he is cared for by themas his work load reduces?
 
Reiterate he is well loved and cared for and leave it at that. It's the 'so you've been seeing to him everyday this Winter' bit that is weird for me - smacks of criticism that really isn't suitable from a seller who sold seven years ago!
 
Agree with the above- think you can either ignore it without feeling bad, or just reply reiterating that this horse has a home for life with you and is doing well.

I got a message from the girl who owned my pony before me after Misty died. I'd had her just shy of 12 years, I don't think this girl had seen her for 10 at least. Saying how much she'd missed her etc. She'd sporadically contact me (every couple of years or less) to ask how Misty was, I'd say come over and visit, she never would. It irked me (I was pretty devastated about Misty) that she'd suddenly leap in going on about her, when I was the one who had held Misty's head until the end.
 
One interpretation is that the seller has heard some gossip/rumour about the horse's wellbeing and has sent a nice diplomatic message to a) check he's OK and it's just rumour, and b) offering a home to the horse if he's in trouble.

Why not have a little chat with them to let them know how the horse is, I'd think it was because they are fond of the horse rather than anything else.
 
Sounds like old BF has been doing some stirring .
I would send one more 'friendly' but firm text saying he's fine that's that along the lines of others have suggested and then ignore any more you recieve.
 
Reading through her messages for a second time they are decidedly odd - I don't believe she wants him back for the reason stated, but perhaps she is really worried if your ex has been stirring things.

If you want to give her the benefit of the doubt and believe that she still cares about the horse and is perhaps genuinely concerned, if your ex was stirring, then maybe reply that she is welcome to visit the horse if she wants to.

Otherwise if you don't want the hassle, perhaps send a photo of him looking lovely in the field and say all that others have said - he is fine, lots of attention, all needs catered for. Then quietly ignore or brush off any more messages you get from her.
 
Considering that there are plenty of companions available as well, I would send a polite answer suggesting that they look elsewhere for a companion for the youngster.

I wouldn't take the message at face value - something is going on after all this time without contact. You bought the horse - not a loan so look after your boy as you know best!
 
Sounds like ex has done a fair bit of stirring and seller is worried about her horse. While I think the second message goes a step too far I think someone has given her the belief that there is cause for concern.

At least she cares! Even after 5 years. Text back and tell her he has a home for life and is well cared for and semi-retired, and then leave it at that.
 
Id be almost certain someone been stirring and told her the horse has not been looked after properly through the winter and subsequently they are now concerned for the horse. I know if someone told me that about a horse I'd previously had I'd worry about it and probably do what they did and give the owner a get out option by offering to have the horse back.
 
Costs you nothing to put her mind at rest. If she has left you in peace for 7 years it's unlikely she's suddenly turned into a psycho. Much more likely that someone has given her a fright and she couldn't not react and "dig" a bit to see if horse is OK. After all this time, I kinda respect that.

As above, repeat the horse is fine, well loved and wanted. The End.

(I had to ask two ramblers to leave my land last year - no right of way/etc. Then found out my yard girl and kicked them out the week before ... Then they turned up again in a field of a yard I sublet so I confronted and asked why they kept suspiciously turning up on my land, trespassing. They admitted they had sold a horse to one of my liveries, been told it had been "thrown into a field" on an "awful yard" (! cheers !) so they were trying to find it. Almost lost my temper, but managed to stay calm and explain that I knew which field the horse was in and could assure them it was looking smashing and I was sure the owners wouldn't mind if they gave them a ring and perhaps visit at a show ... but not on my premises!!)
 
Thanks to everyone who replied. The thing is that I am actually a bit hurt at the implication that the horse is not well looked after as he lives a totally charmed life with my family and is probably better looked after than my parents are! I spoke to my folks who thought it was all very strange - I suspect there is a bit of stirring going on somewhere and I haven't yet decided what to do about it :(
 
catkin said:
One interpretation is that the seller has heard some gossip/rumour about the horse's wellbeing and has sent a nice diplomatic message to a) check he's OK and it's just rumour, and b) offering a home to the horse if he's in trouble.

Why not have a little chat with them to let them know how the horse is, I'd think it was because they are fond of the horse rather than anything else.
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This was my first thought too.

Personally, I wouldn't be offended by it :)
 
Do you still speak to your ex? If so then maybe ask him what he has said. He'll probably deny having said anything, but will think twice about saying anything else.
 
oldyork said:
Thanks to everyone who replied. The thing is that I am actually a bit hurt at the implication that the horse is not well looked after as he lives a totally charmed life with my family and is probably better looked after than my parents are! I spoke to my folks who thought it was all very strange - I suspect there is a bit of stirring going on somewhere and I haven't yet decided what to do about it :(
Click to expand...

It's hurtful but I think you are spot on someone is winding the old owner up I think it's better to do nothing but just try to keep your ear to the ground and find out if and why old BF is doing this if that's what's happening.
It's nasty that's for sure and in defence to the old owner she probally worried perhaps text her a picture ? Not sure if encouraging more debate with her is a good idea though.
 
It does seem like somebody has been stirring doesnt it. On the other hand if I heard that a horse I had sold was not in the best condition then I would get in touch. I think it is nice that she has given you a get out for the horse if you wanted it , how many people would do that I wonder.
I would contact and reassure them as they obviously do care but make it clear that you are keeping him and loving him to the end.
I hope it ends well
 
The bit about being seen to every day is a very odd comment and not so subtle way of questioning your care of him - I'd be offended too. I prefer people to call a spade a spade so if it was me (and I am a touch to forward some times) I'd reply with something along the lines of.
"I suggest you ignore anyone who's telling you he's not cared for - it isn't true and they must have other motives in wanting to wind you up" That should put her mind at rest and send her off to debate with the other person rather than being too 'nice' and her coming back with loads of other questions like 'ohh so he's seen the farrier recently' or 'so what are you feeding him these days' .

I wouldn't lower myself to get involved in the stiring by trying to work out who it is or confront them - lifes too short and it's their issue not yours.
 
It sounds a little odd, and that someone has been spreading rumours. But at the end of the day she obviously cares about the horse. I would call/text her to put her mind at ease.

She was obviously fond of the horse and probably regrets selling him. I sold a horse and bought it back years later just so I could retire him. And there are other horses I would probably do the same for too
 
I wouldn't be offended by her enquiry, she's being very dipolmatic and obviously cares about the horse.
Sounds like she's heard some worrying news from someone trying to cause trouble and she's trying to do her best for the horse. I would be very annoyed about the gossip monger, who not only, is being malicious to you, but has unnecessarily worried her.

If I heard that one of my former horses needed help, I'd do exactly the same.

Be nice, put her mind at rest and reassure her that all is well. If all horses had former owners like her, fewer horses would end up being neglected.
 
Im with the person who says they respect the old owner ensuring the horse she sold is fine and well, it does sound like someone is stirring by the tone of the text, which is out of the blue, is it a "bloody cheek" moment hmmm mabe, and yes, her responsibility ended when he passed tou you, but not all owners care as much as you, depending on what shes heard,shes possibly really worried and giving an out for an old horse who might be in trouble is a nice thing to do, and is to be respected. I personally wouldnt be to hard on her,s he sounds like shes just a bit worried, can you text her a short vid from your phone with him in it letting her know hes fine but id have to say "dont know if youve youve heard something but hes grand" . Then id do a bit of digging and if i found the person who wound her up, id rip them a new one !!
 
I disagree with a lot of the advice here. I'd just ignore the texts. You have replied to the first one. End of story.

You know the horse is fine; it's nothing to do with the old owner.

If you reply it could go on and on.
 
Another different approach! I would call her. If I received a text like that my mind wouldn't rest until I knew what was going on. I'd just ask her why she has become concerned in a friendly way and hopefully you can end up having a good old chin wag about it and get the air all cleared. She might end up telling you who has stirred things up with any luck then you can go and give them a decent bo***cking!
 
I'd be upset but I'd want to turn it on its head from the idiot who started this. So I'd reply something along the lines "Someone is winding you up but it's nice for (horses name) that you care so much...why don't you pop over and see him put your mind at rest? Shall we fix a time?" She'll either squirm and walk away or if the ex had done a really good hatchet job come and see for herself. Either way he doesn't come our of this very well does he?
 
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