yard experts (just for fun!)

[diggerbez]

i have come to a conclusion... a lot of horsey people are incredibly stupid yet think they are very well informed... i'm not talking here about people asking questions and trying to improve their knowledge - to me this isn't being 'stupid' its just not knowing the answer, admitting it and trying to find out the answer for next time...what i mean is the local 'expert'- commonly found on most DIY yards- eager to dispense advice re. injuries, schooling, stable management etc, despite the fact that they are talking complete claptrap
so, just for fun...what are the most priceless pieces of advice you have been given by said experts?

 

[blitznbobs]

'Lean forward and put your hands low and wide' when I was commenting about my horse neck bending not length bending on a small circle... 'cos that'll help him come thru from behind!'

 

[Spit That Out]

One woman on our yard told me that she blends her carrots at home in to a pulp so her horses can't choke on them and when people are cutting their carrots on the yard or heaven forbid feed a whole one she goes in to a rant, tuts or gives a big deep sigh when she walks past!!!

Weirdo!!!

 

[blitznbobs]

One woman on our yard told me that she blends her carrots at home in to a pulp so her horses can't choke on them and when people are cutting their carrots on the yard or heaven forbid feed a whole one she goes in to a rant, tuts or gives a big deep sigh when she walks past!!!

Weirdo!!!

LOL that's just priceless... what would she say, I wonder, if she saw me throw a WHOLE SWEDE in my pony's manger... which I do about once a week in the winter... RSPCA call out probably.

Blitz

 

[berry]

That the reason my horse had a sore back was because I feed her garlic and it makes the muscles in the back sensative!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[diggerbez]

haha that carrot thing made me giggle. i know one woman who won't plait her horse up the night before a competition because "the forelock plaits gives them a headache" how the hell does she know?!!

 

[Brontie]

That we mount from the left, because the horse's prefer it?.. :S

 

[Spit That Out]

That we mount from the left, because the horse's prefer it?.. :S

LOL, funnily enough i have a horse that won't let me mount on the right side and i have to stand him the wrong way at the mounting block...he's such a strange horse...he also sucks his polos!!!!

But i don't insist that everyone does it!!!

 

[Spit That Out]

a WHOLE SWEDE

Are you mad woman...are you trying to give her a heart attack!!! I wouldn't be surprised if she took it home and blended it for you!!!!

 

[OskyWoskyPonio]

Are you mad woman...are you trying to give her a heart attack!!! I wouldn't be surprised if she took it home and blended it for you!!!!

HAHAHAHAAAAAA That did make me laugh!
Sorry I can't think of anything right now off the top of my head but no doubt there have been several comments over the years that at the time I thought were, ahemm...peculiar

 

[MochaDun]

Keeping a horse in off grass will give them laminitis

 

[HollyB66]

To make your horse walk backwards, lift your hands and lean backwards

 

[Spit That Out]

To make your horse walk backwards, lift your hands and lean backwards

LOL...is that mounted or on the ground?!!?

 

[Shutterbug]

A girl I know was told she shouldnt be lunging her horse as he was too fat to do any exercise and it was therefore bad for him

 

[MochaDun]

She wasn't an expert but someone came to our yard who thought we should leave the stable lights on at night so the horses could see to eat their food....

 

[HollyB66]

LOL...is that mounted or on the ground?!!?

I was mounted at the time and trust me it didn't work I now have an image in my head of standing on the ground, lifting my hands and falling over backwards - thanks for that

 

[Starzaan]

A mare on a livery yard I worked at for a while stumbled whilst out hacking and wrenched a tendon. The owner was very novicey, and asked me to show her how to handle it, so I explained about cold hosing and told her that I don't like bandaging a swollen limb, as I've had a horse put down as a result of a bandage that didn't allow room for a leg to swell. We agreed that I would cold hose his leg for 40 mins morning and night, bring him in and box rest him for a couple of days, with 5 min walks in hand and a pick of grass twice a day, and a couple of bute a day.
The next day she came onto the yard and told me that the local knowallknownothing had told her she had to ignore me, pour boiling water onto a baby's nappy, and stick that on with duct tape. Needless to say, that DIDN'T happen, and I had rather strong words with said knowallknownothing about duct taping boiling wet nappies to a hot tendon....

 

[RuthnMeg]

'Don't plait your horses tail - it pinches their dock and it causes numbness to their spine, so they can't perform well'.
Ummmm??!!!!
And
'You can't handle stallions if your female because of the hormones' - Although there is some sense to it, its not (in my opinion) the correct ''horse term'' to say.

 

[DragonSlayer]

A mare on a livery yard I worked at for a while stumbled whilst out hacking and wrenched a tendon. The owner was very novicey, and asked me to show her how to handle it, so I explained about cold hosing and told her that I don't like bandaging a swollen limb, as I've had a horse put down as a result of a bandage that didn't allow room for a leg to swell. We agreed that I would cold hose his leg for 40 mins morning and night, bring him in and box rest him for a couple of days, with 5 min walks in hand and a pick of grass twice a day, and a couple of bute a day.
The next day she came onto the yard and told me that the local knowallknownothing had told her she had to ignore me, pour boiling water onto a baby's nappy, and stick that on with duct tape. Needless to say, that DIDN'T happen, and I had rather strong words with said knowallknownothing about duct taping boiling wet nappies to a hot tendon....

HAHAHAHAHA! Oh my....HAHAHAHA!

Keep these stories coming, love them!

 

[Starzaan]

I've just re-read my post and realised that I've given Elsy a sex change halfway through....I'm pretty sure she was still a mare after injuring herself...

 

[anadain]

I can remember a self taught rider giving a lesson to a fellow yard mate where I had a share horse. She was instructing that there should be no contact between the knees and the horse! I have never ever seen anyone ride the way she did - her knees used to flap loose like chicken wings on the side of her horse - I just walked away shaking my head - believe me I didn'tr stay at that yard for long!

 

[Vickijay]

The worst I heard was someone saying "kick the horse on and sock him in the teeth" repeatedly, nice. Needless to say we had words...

 

[fattysmum]

"The horse loads in your trailer because it's blue, he doesn't like mine because it's green..."

 

[kickandshout]

warm-bloods don't need heavy rugs in winter because they have warm blood !!!! LOL

a horse with a stripe of black in a white hoof wall has appaloosa blood in it ?????

fly rugs are a fashion accesory - yeah really tell that to my horse with sweetitch !!!!!

 

[NicoleS_007]

Your horse has over active sweat glands!!! ummm ok then lol

Off topic a bit but my sister told a mate on the yard that if she touched the inside of her horses ear it would die!!! she actually bleieved it haha it was rather amusing!

 

[Enfys]

To make your horse walk backwards, lift your hands and lean backwards

Works for me Bit more subtle perhaps, twitch fingers and shift weight, but yes, same thing.

 

[HollyB66]

Works for me Bit more subtle perhaps, twitch fingers and shift weight, but yes, same thing.

Okay, fair enough. But we weren't talking 'subtle'

 

[Penny Less]

well the whole carrot is a definite no no for me as my horse did choke on one and I ended up getting the vet out

 

[kerilli]

i think i can possibly top these, unfortunately.
One of my liveries years ago went to a RC talk by some old Cavalry chap. Livery piped up that his horse box-walked, and was there a way to cure it.
The utterly JAW-DROPPING reply was: (drumroll)
lay lots of pitchforks down in the straw bed so the horse hits his legs on them as he walks around, this will hurt and will dissuade him from walking around and messing up his bed, or teach him to lift his legs higher, or something.
I swear to God I am not making this up. If I tried to think of something utterly mental to do with horses which is almost guaranteed to result in a serious injury, I doubt I could come up with something as utterly crazy as this advice...
Needless to say, it didn't happen.
gotta love the old Army boys...

 

[Spit That Out]

alicemary - do you blend your carrots in to a pulp?...your not stabled in Barthomley are you, LOL...

After your scare do you cut them into slices like most people?

I think blending them is slightly OTT esp when horses can choke on normal feed but i understand the whole carrot concern.