Yard Gossip

[DabDab]

When I was faced with losing my own place and moving into livery last year, threads like this worried me to the point of losing sleep. Since then, I've been in three different barns in the management of 2 different people in the yard where I am now, and another big yard I went to in order to get herd turnout for a while, and I found the same as I found thirty 32 years previously, that not every yard has bitchy. cliques in them . So I would just reassure people who might be making the same move some time in the future not to worry too much about it, it definitely isn't all yards.

That doesn't help the OP, of course, who has started two threads now a month apart about this. I think my advice about that yard would be to leave if the advice you were given on the first thread hasn't worked.
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In one place I used to work the electrical engineers/shift techs were absolutely renowned for being a bitchy bunch of wotsits. Spend an hour in their mess room when they weren't on jobs and some of the stuff you would hear...some of it was genuinely witty, funny observations, but a lot was seriously toxic and quite frankly ridiculous and somewhat fantastical. I used to spend a fair bit of time with them, partly for job related reasons, but partly because it was such a weird, fascinating dynamic. I've never encountered anything quite like it again so I assume these weird dynamics appear as a result of just a couple of strong characters that are for whatever reason extremely skilled at drawing others in.

Like you, I've never really known much yard bitchiness, and the odd place I have found it it has generally been as above, just one or two real culprits who then draw others in

 

[PSD]

livery yards can be toxic environments that remind me of school playgrounds. I think it’s usually jealousy bit too much time on their hands. I am always shocked the amount of equestrians that don’t work, and slightly jealous of that . Overall though I find ignorance is bliss , I am friendly but just not quite friendly or exiting enough to gossip about. I also don’t ask their advice as I have a number of people I trust for advice and stick to them.

I find wherever I’ve been there’s always at least a couple of women who don’t like one another and seem to be in some kind of competition, Slightly reminds me of herd dynamics.

I often wonder how the majority of those who don’t work can afford more than one horse! I appreciate everyone’s circumstances are different but I do wonder…both my partner and I work full time and no way I could afford more than 1 with my livery bill being £60 a week in winter. I know this seems cheap to some - we also like to do other stuff aside of horses

 

[motherof2beasts!]

I often wonder how the majority of those who don’t work can afford more than one

I think many reasons , I just wish I had one of them , especially in winter .

There has been a resident yard know it all at every yard I’ve been too. I think a lot of the horse world is competitive , and that’s fine , but causes some rivalry. I’m often asked what my “goals” are and quite honestly I don’t really have any , just keep doing what we are doing and enjoying it, but apparently that is not a goal…..

 

[motherof2beasts!]

Oh and others saying I really ought to get him “out and about now” (shows not hacking!) as if it’s a given. Sometimes I would fancy the odd pleasure ride but transport quotes have all been too much to justify.

 

[TwyfordM]

I'm on a large RS/livery and I just tend to keep out of everything! Moobag is in a barn that's more RS ponies and a couple of liveries that are younger kids/teens.

Being older I have no interest in the gossip the kids spread and no other adults is actually helpful to avoid the general gossip.

Having got dragged into nasty situations on previous yards, I just crack on with the pony and people seem to respect that and don't bring up gossip to me anymore. Win win!!