Blythe Spirit
Well-Known Member
The recent thread on people who are too happy to share advise got me thinking about other 'yard types' - here are a few of the types of people I have encountered over the years at various livery yards
Please take in the spirit of fun - I freely admit I may have been some of these types myself - so with good humor enjoy and do add your own....
The perfectionist this owner thinks their horse wants for nothing. They are likely to have all the kit including expensive rugs, magnetic boots and a horse with potential. They spend more time mucking out than riding (if they ride at all). They use as much straw in a day as most people do in a week, you can tell when they have been mucking out by all the clean straw on the muckheap!
The Dreamer This person will tell you that their instructor said their horse is almost ready to be doing passage or jumping foxhunters or going round badminton. You may be quite impressed until you see them riding said horse and realise in fact a 20 meter circle is still presenting challenges.
The Harassed Mother Has at least three slightly free range children. One will be sitting in a puddle crying, one will be playing fishing over the stable doors with a lunge whip (accidently terrifying the highly strung horse belonging to the Perfectionist) and the third will be locked in the car for having been naughty. She will never understand why others worry when her children want to play a little game with the clippers underneath their horses.
Suited and Booted more common on Urban yards this owner turns up very late at night directly from work to see her liveried horse in a slinky skirt suit and wellingtons boots. There is never any mud on the boots though as this person is way too busy earning pots of money to ever get dirty.
The collector This is the person with several horses on grass livery probably none of them can be ridden but this kind hearted soul cannot resist a hard luck case and consequently collects horses that others dont want.
The Know it all This one has already been discussed ... but Do you want this persons advice? Probably not but you are going to get it anyway. This person might be ignorant and helpfully tell you you are on the wrong leg whilst you practice counter canter or they might actually be pretty knowledgeable but a little too keen to share their opinion.
Gods Gift This person thinks they are too good to have to play by the rules. They may be very talented - but still infuriating as they put up a 4ft course in the 20x40 when you are trying to lunge. Or (this once actually happened to me) halted their dressage horse from canter literally in between the combination elements of a grid when I had already taken off over the first element, or (another true story) decided to loose school their horse in the same menage as I was riding a new horse in - without even warning me! This person will never pass left to left or follow simple school rules.
The Vanity Purchaser this person is hopelessly over horsed. Their first horse may have been a nice sort but number two was purchased to go further with. It may be well bred, have competed at a high level or come from an exclusive yard. But the fact is new owner simply cannot ride it. If they ride at all this person will always be telling you about their latest scrape horse bolted on the road, bucked them off in canter, wont jump pink fences etc etc
The Note leaver you may not see this person very much but they will leave little notes on the yard board e.g DO NOT PARK YOUR CAR NEXT TO MY BOX or WHO HAS TAKEN MY FEED? They never confront the perpetrators directly and rarely name them this creates a lovely atmosphere of paranoia.
The Clique these people always go about together and will gossip in the hay barn / tack room, by the menage etc they may well not be talking about you, but you always wonder.....
The Flirt This person will always be around if the farrier or good looking vet is called out. They will try their hardest to distract these people from their jobs by giggling and simpering and generally trying to get attention. Sometimes with a lot of success, sometimes with none at all. In my experience Farriers tend to get this attention even if they look like a monkeys arse, are over 70, and can hardly stand up from the years spend bending over hooves. Vets however have to be better looking very unfair I say!
Now think up your own and have fun!
Please take in the spirit of fun - I freely admit I may have been some of these types myself - so with good humor enjoy and do add your own....
The perfectionist this owner thinks their horse wants for nothing. They are likely to have all the kit including expensive rugs, magnetic boots and a horse with potential. They spend more time mucking out than riding (if they ride at all). They use as much straw in a day as most people do in a week, you can tell when they have been mucking out by all the clean straw on the muckheap!
The Dreamer This person will tell you that their instructor said their horse is almost ready to be doing passage or jumping foxhunters or going round badminton. You may be quite impressed until you see them riding said horse and realise in fact a 20 meter circle is still presenting challenges.
The Harassed Mother Has at least three slightly free range children. One will be sitting in a puddle crying, one will be playing fishing over the stable doors with a lunge whip (accidently terrifying the highly strung horse belonging to the Perfectionist) and the third will be locked in the car for having been naughty. She will never understand why others worry when her children want to play a little game with the clippers underneath their horses.
Suited and Booted more common on Urban yards this owner turns up very late at night directly from work to see her liveried horse in a slinky skirt suit and wellingtons boots. There is never any mud on the boots though as this person is way too busy earning pots of money to ever get dirty.
The collector This is the person with several horses on grass livery probably none of them can be ridden but this kind hearted soul cannot resist a hard luck case and consequently collects horses that others dont want.
The Know it all This one has already been discussed ... but Do you want this persons advice? Probably not but you are going to get it anyway. This person might be ignorant and helpfully tell you you are on the wrong leg whilst you practice counter canter or they might actually be pretty knowledgeable but a little too keen to share their opinion.
Gods Gift This person thinks they are too good to have to play by the rules. They may be very talented - but still infuriating as they put up a 4ft course in the 20x40 when you are trying to lunge. Or (this once actually happened to me) halted their dressage horse from canter literally in between the combination elements of a grid when I had already taken off over the first element, or (another true story) decided to loose school their horse in the same menage as I was riding a new horse in - without even warning me! This person will never pass left to left or follow simple school rules.
The Vanity Purchaser this person is hopelessly over horsed. Their first horse may have been a nice sort but number two was purchased to go further with. It may be well bred, have competed at a high level or come from an exclusive yard. But the fact is new owner simply cannot ride it. If they ride at all this person will always be telling you about their latest scrape horse bolted on the road, bucked them off in canter, wont jump pink fences etc etc
The Note leaver you may not see this person very much but they will leave little notes on the yard board e.g DO NOT PARK YOUR CAR NEXT TO MY BOX or WHO HAS TAKEN MY FEED? They never confront the perpetrators directly and rarely name them this creates a lovely atmosphere of paranoia.
The Clique these people always go about together and will gossip in the hay barn / tack room, by the menage etc they may well not be talking about you, but you always wonder.....
The Flirt This person will always be around if the farrier or good looking vet is called out. They will try their hardest to distract these people from their jobs by giggling and simpering and generally trying to get attention. Sometimes with a lot of success, sometimes with none at all. In my experience Farriers tend to get this attention even if they look like a monkeys arse, are over 70, and can hardly stand up from the years spend bending over hooves. Vets however have to be better looking very unfair I say!
Now think up your own and have fun!
