Yard 'Types'

[helencharlie]

Im the one who is very rarely seen by other people on the yard. The only way that they can tell that I have been and gone is by Charlie's stable and what rug he is wearing. My aim is is to have left in the morning before 9am and return back in the dark in the evenings!
There are also those people who just have horses as "field ornaments" and do nothing!
Most yards also have the yard bully as well!

 

[Littlelegs]

The new to owning adult- usually owns a very average horse, that had a twice the average price tag, thus them assuming it is an Olympic standard horse. Lots of expensive gear & lessons, still can't rise properly. However they believe having spent enough, they have vast experience. Assume their need of schools etc are greater as they are 'serious riders'. Tend to hate all under 18's on sight. And believe that if an under 18 does something, it can't possibly be because they are more experienced, it must be because anyone can do it.
The green eyed monster- assume anyone with money, a nice horse, wins comps etc must have had it handed to them on a plate. Not realising that person has worked hard.
The poor little me- everything is harder for this person. They are the only person in the UK to have a horse on diy, & a 9-5 job. It's more difficult for them to negotiate a muddy gateway, empty a barrow, they hate the cold more, their fall was the worst ever. And always asking people to help out because their life is so hard.
Kamikaze child- has grown up on yards & farms, spends hours rolling in mud, leaping from hay bales, & climbing trees. Has no fear of anything. Often volunteers (read begs) to ride anything with a reputation for being a handful. Rarely seen riding for the cloud of dust as they speed by.

 

[EquestrianFairy]

I'm none of these

 

[Paint Me Proud]

i dont think i fit into any of the previous categories.

I think I would be a......

Realist

These people are happy with what they have. They know their horse isnt going to win the Olympics and dont mind describing them as 'a bit dense but lovable'. They know they arent an amazing rider and are happy to enjoy riding their horse without worrying what people think. They love doing things with their horse and even when competing they will always say 'i dont care if i win i just love having a day out with the horse'.
They understand horses are horses and dont mind if their horse has a gallop in the field or is nervous of something scary because that's what comes naturally.
Their horse has exactly what it needs to be happy and healthy without spending stupid money.

 

[niagaraduval]

This is one of the best threads I have read in a long long time, I can honestly say I have met every one of these types at one stage or another !

 

[MrsHutt]

All the gear and no idea!

That's me! I am often teased at the yard at the amount of money I spend on stuff for either H or myself! Don't suppose it makes me any worse a rider!!

 

[Burmilla]

Loving this thread! I'm def. a Liver and Breather - tired old car, ditto clothes, not weathered yet, but old and single, horse lives like a King and we have a brilliant time!

 

[Ibblebibble]

The Tea Drinker - middle-aged lady who spends most of her weekends up at the yard. Horse is brought in and tied outside it's stable with a haynet. Lady retreats to tea room for several hours to chat and drink tea and eat biscuits. Finally vacate the tea room to tend to pony, "oh no - it's too late to ride now, I'll just put him back in the field." And away they go.

The Yard 'Biddy'

Catch phrase is we don't do it like that here.
Usually women of a certain age who have been there forever. They often forget that they don't actually own the yard and issue a stream of orders to all and get the raging hump if ignored...

hahaha i'm on farm livery and we have both of these , in fact the biddy is also a tea drinker, she thinks she owns her 'plot' and woe betide anyone who questions why she needs so much land when she only has one pony (who she's too scared to ride) on restricted grazing

the other tea drinkers also like to invite half their family along to their 'yard' too and sit around drinking tea and tending the flowers and vegetables they have planted

 

[Nitro mouse]

Teflon woman

Dirt never sticks to em, they arrive in cream jods, immaculate hair and make up. Muck out, ride in a force nine gale in mid winter and still manage to leave the place in the immaculate state in which they arrive.... I live in awe, as I have never understood how they do it.

 

[Karran]

'livery who takes over the stable block ?

all fine and dandy, happily keeping yourself to yourself, then BAM, an explosion in a rug/tack shop/ bucket factory taking up more room than the rest of us put together. And using others stuff'

This is me. Kinda. I end up scattering tack, brushes, rugs etc everywhere when I get them out! Although I always tidy after myself and keep it in a small corner, when something comes out it all comes out.

I am quite aware I'm messy and do endeavour to keep it out of everyones way and do move it if I realise its a problem but I swear it walks on its own to places!

I don't borrow without asking though!

 

[asterid]

Teflon woman

Dirt never sticks to em, they arrive in cream jods, immaculate hair and make up. Muck out, ride in a force nine gale in mid winter and still manage to leave the place in the immaculate state in which they arrive.... I live in awe, as I have never understood how they do it.

LOL !!!! And those who have immaculate hair after riding. I have horrid sweaty hat hair! My white competition jods attract every piece of mud and horse dribble! I keep 'Vanish' in profit!

 

[Shysmum]

I think I'm the Realist tbh - happy with what we do, give things a go for a laugh, but really not competitive. Adore my pony with his little legs and hairy bits.

Shy and I also seem to be some sort of "confidence giver gurus" who are in demand from nervous riders to hack out with. One of whom only rides (edit to say visits the stables at all) "ON SUNDAY" because of work. This is ok until I'm not up to much myself and just need to be left alone......last week "sunday" "invited" themselves on my chatting-to-shy plod, and urgh !!! Shreiks of "OMG Tractor!!" ruined my sunday. It will not happen again.

 

[AntxGeorgiax]

I'm a perfectionist, suited and booted, note leaver vanity purchaser, realist and dreamer .
I cannot stand to have a messy bed (horse living out so no prob) but the yard has to be spotless when I leave because of my OCD. I often clean after everyone else because I can't stand a few shavings here and there, it must be clean.
I come straight from school to the horse, get covered in crap on my uniform and drive my Mum mad with the washing. I leave MANY notes as people feel the need to throw their buckets and rubbish on my feed Bin or use my things (I was bought a lovely little 'borstik' grooming kit for Christmas, saved it for when it wasn't manky and muddy, and found it covered in white hair and thrown across the yard one day, I have a bay horse and am the only one with this grooming kit, and it was clearly marked 'Antonia's
Vanity purchaser- I bought my horse because she looked pretty and I think is the most gorgeous thing to walk the earth.
Realist - I understand I am not a world beater, and although my horse has the breeding and potential to go to the top, for me, having a horse is more about enjoying and and bonding than constantly showing and being in the ribbons,
Dreamer- I dream that one day I WILL be jumping fox hunter and jumping 1.50 metre tracks. The horse has the capability, however I hold her back. I didn't buy her to win everything though; I bought her because I fell in love.
I am also one of those idiots who before owning my own, would work from 6:30 am to 7:30 pm down the local riding school for £10, allegedly we were supposed to get a free ride whenever we helped out, but this never materialised, so I was given 10 every month off my riding lesson after I had worked every Saturday!

 

[LeneHorse]

How about sulky teenage girls. We have one on our yard that some days danes to speak when spoken to not otherwise and other days treats you like something nasty she has trodden in. She also never forks up her muck on the muck heap just leaves it in the middle of the track for everyone else to deal with.

We have one of these in the block and it's hard going! However give her her due she is a very tidy person. Its just the dirty looks and stoney sllences that are irritating.

Oh and we have another yard type - the menopausal yard psycho - actually that'll be me! (well in the opinion of the sulky teenager anyway)

 

[cadefan]

LOL!!!!!! I hate these people! makes me mad when I work my arse off and still can only just afford the horse!

This drives me totally up the wall too!!

 

[vickyb]

One I came across - The accident prone type. Whatever they do, it always ends up with either them or their horse sustaining some sort of injury. Often this can look really innocuous to an observer and so mild it doesn't deserve a mention, but accident prone types always makes a terrific fuss. (I am thinking here of a livery that 'hurt her wrist' while leading her horse. No obvious signs of injury, but taken for precautionary x-ray anyway. No injury found but spent a fortnight with a crepe bandage on and saying she was having trouble with every yard task.) Every minor abrasion on the horse is treated as a major incident and cause for great concern. A real drama queen!

 

[Tash88]

The self-righteous type

Similar to the accident prone type in terms of their horse, always makes a huge fuss about the most minor abrasion and likes to tell everyone every detail of how they managed the said abrasion, in a way that someone would speak to a child. Thinks (or rather 'knows') that they are the most conscientious horse-owner on the yard and that their horse is looked after better than anyone else's, because they get to the yard at 6am every morning and spend most of the weekend there. Likes to patronise and lecture others, usually doesn't have much of a life outside the yard and ingratiates herself with the YO. Loves to take a moral high ground.

Familiar to anyone?

 

[EMC]

THE EX-RACER RIDER/WORK RIDER

Can't tell one end of a school from the other, collection?? what's that!! Has a spring to rival a hare when legged up, rides better with stupidly short stirrups or none at all, all whilst holding a prancing TB on the buckle . Accessorized with skull cap, silk (more points for a pom pom or attached goggles) and blouson jacket. Usually seen with multi coloured socks poking out above their boots, although you have to be quick to catch them as they gallop past in a blur, bum in the air, with bridged reins, whistling the 'Champions' theme.

Yes this is me. Sorry.

 

[Gingerwitch]

The Faffer
Hypercondriact mother, she checks the wheather all day every day and selects one of the hundered or so rugs she has. Then she goes to listen to the radio and changes rug. She leaves the yard and then texts you to check on said pony to see if he is too hot or cold. You report back he is just right - you then get phone call and asked to imagine how cold or warm it will be in about 3 hours time. You then say you have left your own in a lightweight or a cotton sheet or a medium with a neck cover. You then are asked to change rug on horse that is perfectly fine. Just as you are about to leave the yard you are texted to ask if you can change the horse back to its original rug. You then get texts about every hour saying i hope x is not too hot, or too cold and if your passing could you pop in and check him. Texts recommence at about 5am

 

[Achinghips]

Note: Yard Owners all fall into these categories too

 

[Gingerwitch]

The Hard Women to Hounds
Rides through thick and thin, has broken ribs, neck, legs, arms, wrists, backs, jaws - and still rides through them. Shuffles rather than walks due to so many injuries, but god can she ride a horse and get a tune out of it. Rather long in the tooth and only gets to hospital if its a really bad injury - carrys a hip flask and lots of ibuprofen

 

[Silvermiyazawa]

The self-righteous type

Similar to the accident prone type in terms of their horse, always makes a huge fuss about the most minor abrasion and likes to tell everyone every detail of how they managed the said abrasion, in a way that someone would speak to a child. Thinks (or rather 'knows') that they are the most conscientious horse-owner on the yard and that their horse is looked after better than anyone else's, because they get to the yard at 6am every morning and spend most of the weekend there. Likes to patronise and lecture others, usually doesn't have much of a life outside the yard and ingratiates herself with the YO. Loves to take a moral high ground.

Familiar to anyone?

Most definitely come across this one, I had the stable next door. The reason I bought my first ipod!

I'm probably a dreamer/realist hybrid (assuming one doesn't cancel out the other!).

 

[Gingerwitch]

Sticky Tape Woman
The exact opposite of teflon woman - arrives at yard looking like she has come through a hedge backwards. Manages to cover herself in mud and muck on a pristine yard. Always has shavings down her boots, and hay stuck to her jumpers. Hair is a total mess as soon as she looks at hat - can never wear the same coat two days running as always covered in lickit.

 

[armchair_rider]

Ninja
Nobody ever sees them but their horse is obviously well looked after and frequently ridden. Once came to the yard on a saturday morning and was mistaken for a trespasser

 

[noodle_]

mabey the "glass half full" type??

always happy as larry even when been pulled over by idiotic youngster who thinks the grass is greener!.... Covered in mud but still smiliing, been booted/dragged and bitten but still in denial that her horse is anything but lovely .....

^moi.

 

[criso]

Disinterested Kids

Mum rode and had ponies as a child and takes it for granted her kids will be the same. Comes up every weekend and the children spend all their time trying to hide in the car playing with their gameboys or mobiles while mum mucks outs. At some point she'll get them on a horse briefly at which point the nervous one will burst into tears and the stroppy one will throw a tantrum and riding will be abandoned for another weekend.

I'm definitely sticky tape woman aka velcro woman. I pull my purse out at the supermarket on the way home and hay falls out.

 

[SadKen]

Sticky tape woman is me, and always has been. In school I was ostracized for wearing a waxy with pockets full of bailer twine, straw and treats. Now I have half the contents of lads stable and various bits of feeds/tack in my car. Today it went for its MOT and I saw the tester recoil when he opened the door, and hold up a martingale quizzically then shake his head. Shameful.

 

[mandwhy]

Sticky tape woman is me, and always has been. In school I was ostracized for wearing a waxy with pockets full of bailer twine, straw and treats. Now I have half the contents of lads stable and various bits of feeds/tack in my car. Today it went for its MOT and I saw the tester recoil when he opened the door, and hold up a martingale quizzically then shake his head. Shameful.

Haha was starting to think I didn't conform to a type then! I often do things like going to poo pick in a hoodie with bolognese all down it because it's going to need a wash anyway, then I find I have been wearing said clothing all day :-\

I have booked my car in for a service an its annual hoover on Tues, they are going to need an especially heavy duty hoover this time :-D

 

[The mad TB]

How about:

The hyperactive teenager.

Really bubbly, bright and fun. If you want a good hack, go with them. If you want a favour just ask and they'll skip away to do it. Regulally invites their horsey friends who don't own ponies to come and ride theirs and so stupid things like 5 bounces in a row without stirrups and doing YMCA or jumping tackless. Usually seen with a video camera to catch it all. Has a lovely horse who she devotes her time to and although acts casual is determind about getting to 4*. doesn't have the most expensive anything but doesn't care, she'd rather have fun. Is also known for doing silly things like hacking down the gallops in the snow/pitch dark with a torch. If they fall off they get back on with a smile to try again, despite mother's protests, only to be told they have concussion and tissue damage. Generally fun to be around and will always try to cheer you up


Yep that'd be me, I'm quite a handful :L

 

[The mad TB]

Or:

The practical one

Realises that a horse is infact, a horse and CAN go out if it's raining/windy/frosty/there are loads of flies. If horse has an injury, waits a couple of days to see if it'll heal on it's own before calling the vet. Has a naughty horse but isn't afraid to tell it off so that it learns manners. Loves a good days hunting.