Yard 'Types'

[Christsam]

I'm suited and booted but with added mud

Looking back I am this too. Suited and muddy booted turning up straight from work to see my horse who is on DIY livery who I then muck out in my work clothes Oh but not earning a huge amount of money

 

[Blythe Spirit]

I think I am a suited and booted - vanity purchaser hybrid

To JGC - if that's you riding the horse in your tag line - I wouldn't say you were over horsed by it. So not too silly a vanity purchase if it was one!

 

[debsey1]

Suited and Booted

My YO owner says " You come in looking a tramp & go out looking like Lady Di"

 

[peanut]

THE DSS HORSE OWNER. Is on benefits, usually has at least 4 children by different fathers. Lives in quite a nice home, paid for by the DSS, constantly moans about how little benefits she gets but manages to afford a horse. When asked why she doesnt get a job (it is always a she by the way), tells you that her kids are her job and they would need to pay her mega bucks to make it worth her while, plus she would need to sell her horse, and why should she work anyway (has never worked since she left school as had first baby at 17). Has a nice horse, always buys it new things, kids play noisily around the yard, is always at the yard as well.

LOL!!!!!! I hate these people! makes me mad when I work my arse off and still can only just afford the horse!

Me too!!

 

[TheoryX1]

Looking back I am this too. Suited and muddy booted turning up straight from work to see my horse who is on DIY livery who I then muck out in my work clothes Oh but not earning a huge amount of money

Yep, thats me as well. Am on DIY livery as well, and have the notorious distinction of the only person on our yard ever to have mucked out wearing my designer shoes (think they were a rather lovely pair of Dune ones, which cost me a fortune), because I forgot my wellies and our tack room was locked and nobody else was around so I could borrow a pair. Actually, they did come up ok after that oddly enough with plenty of shoe polish. Also, am well known for turning out wearing wellies and an italian designer suit. My dry cleaning bills are horrendous.

 

[Hippona]

I'm a dreamer - absentee hybrid. I remember a conversation once with a fellow livery the first time we met after about 3 months on the yard. She said if the horses hadn't been going in / out they would never have believed I even existed as nobody on the entire yard had ever seen me

And now on another yard I regularly get asked if I've ridden at all this week, despite having worked the beast for at least an hour every evening, again by stealth when nobody else is around

Ha...when I was on livery, work necessitated me mucking out at 6am the minute YO unlocked the gates.....people knew I had been down because of horses being out, then in, then out again but I was never seen.

On that yard, if you weren't witnessed riding by at least 3 different people then ithadn't happened....I had usually mucked out, ridden, turned out and bogged off home before 80% of the yard turned up.....

 

[nagseastsussex]

How about sulky teenage girls. We have one on our yard that some days danes to speak when spoken to not otherwise and other days treats you like something nasty she has trodden in. She also never forks up her muck on the muck heap just leaves it in the middle of the track for everyone else to deal with.

 

[Christsam]

How about sulky teenage girls. We have one on our yard that some days danes to speak when spoken to not otherwise and other days treats you like something nasty she has trodden in. She also never forks up her muck on the muck heap just leaves it in the middle of the track for everyone else to deal with.

are they the same ones who "went to equine college" and think they know it all but in reality only have the ability to stick to the saddle and not fall off?

 

[travelmad]

THE PRO

Swaggers about the yard. Will tack up and groom but leaves a trail of destruction behind them, never poo picks the stable and proceeds to trample it onto the bed. Never picks feet out into the bucket, let alone sweeps up the mess afterwards. Can sit on any horse and it just goes perfectly, never misses a stride when jumping

Forgot that they are normally also sh@gging at least 2 of the girls on the yard, and the only time their chores are done are when all the girls do them for him!

 

[Achinghips]

The Grabber
This type are always on the scrounge. Do you need that, I'll have it? Does it fit him, maybe it'll fit one of mine ...Oh I can't afford to buy it. How did you get on with "X" feed, can I try some and see if mine like it (don't want to buy a whole sack)? This type you often see as they have lots of horses, no mortgage and the latest Ariat boots. Ok, I'll owe you ... and off they go......

 

[Jenni_]

are they the same ones who "went to equine college" and think they know it all but in reality only have the ability to stick to the saddle and not fall off?

HEI!

I went to Equine College and turned out well I think! Also worked alongside college on competition yards and massive commercial yards too though.

I actually find your comment quite offensive But I do agree ther majority of equine graduates are useless.

 

[Black.Shadow]

The show offs - These people have rich parents and get whatever they want, Because they can afford a £10,000 sports pony and win all the gymkhanas they're now God's gift! No matter what someone else wins or buys they have to top it.

 

[Christsam]

HEI!

I went to Equine College and turned out well I think! Also worked alongside college on competition yards and massive commercial yards too though.

I actually find your comment quite offensive But I do agree ther majority of equine graduates are useless.

Tehe no offence meant There are certain types. I find the ones that are quite loud in general and vocal about their education and experience (and i mean you hear about it everyday) are the worst ones. The ones that keep quiet and get on with that they have to do are normally the ones who actually can ride.

I am probably talking about one girl in particular who could not ride for toffee, went to equine college to do "business management", dropped out, then makes out she is qualified to BREAK IN youngsters when she cant even stay on the RS cob.

 

[squiz22]

How about sulky teenage girls. We have one on our yard that some days danes to speak when spoken to not otherwise and other days treats you like something nasty she has trodden in. She also never forks up her muck on the muck heap just leaves it in the middle of the track for everyone else to deal with.

Ive got her classed in with my posh pony clubbers - that describes one of them to a T! She has come through the gate no more than 3m from me and looked straight at me - I've said and hi and shes said nothing... not a bean!

 

[mandwhy]

The exploited child labour - the kids/teenagers who volunteer at the riding school and genuinely have no clue that they are not experienced enough for the other livery horses such as fire breathing Arab or 2 year old stresshead sports horse. Some of them will have cycled ten miles for the privilege of mucking out ten stables, may get a longer than usual lesson every 6 months but generally think themselves lucky they are allowed near the horses! Fizzles out when they realise there is a minimum wage to be earned...

The underdog - angsted looking person always with a drama, ropes various people into doing all their chores so that the entire week is covered by 5 separate 'staff', even gets people to contribute to their bills out of pity. Can be seen having hot flushes whilst stressing over an immaculate shavings bed. Complains about horses always going wrong but only buys mental/knackered ones off gumtree for 100 quid.

 

[3BayGeldings]

The equine college graduates are often the most irritating equine folk around, it has to be said.

And I'm good friends with several of them

 

[cbmcts]

The Yard 'Biddy'

Catch phrase is we don't do it like that here.
Usually women of a certain age who have been there forever. They often forget that they don't actually own the yard and issue a stream of orders to all and get the raging hump if ignored...

 

[Wagtail]

Another very annoying type is 'the yard owner by proxy'. The person that seems to think that they own the place because they have been there so long and have a special relationship (in their imagination) with the yard owner. This type can cause much unrest amongst the other liveries.

 

[ridefast]

The 'Liver and Breather'

Their car is in that bad shape you begin to wonder if rust was an optional extra. wear the same clothes day in and day out which are in bad shape. seems to be at the yard every spare minute of their day. Usually older, and single. look weathered. but horses live like kings!

Are you following me?

 

[Shantara]

Super Mum!
This actually describes a woman at my yard.
Owns 2 ponies and 1 horse. Rarely rides, but is up every morning at 5am to help muck out. She sometimes gets on her daughters pony to wear it out a bit (it's a 'project'). She's got 4 kids, one of which is a baby who often comes to the yard. A very difficult job, goes out with friends and gets leathered in the evening, but rarely moans about having to be at the yard in her spare time. And plus, she looks fabulous doing it!

I seriously look up to this woman

I don't know what I fit under
Maybe "Weird girl who does weird things with a weird horse with tarpaulin and flags"

 

[Shysmum]

livery who takes over the stable block ?

all fine and dandy, happily keeping yourself to yourself, then BAM, an explosion in a rug/tack shop/ bucket factory taking up more room than the rest of us put together. And using others stuff

 

[Flicker]

The Sweetheart:
The nicest, kindest, most generous person you could hope to meet. Always on hand with home baked cakes, sloe gin, proper coffee and words of kindness or encouragement if you are on a downer. Owns the most ignorant, evil-spirited horse on the yard, who is positively dangerous on the roads. Other liveries are constantly conflicted when The Sweetheart asks if she and said Satan-cross can accompany them on a hack and spend guilty time in the loo, trying to avoid her.

 

[Madam Min]

The Parelli Guru - Their horse usually has a variety of issues and moments of being unhandle-able but it's just because they're "expressing their needs". This person leaves copies of the Savvy club magazine around so all none parelli owners can learn about the error of their ways; and talk about 'Linda and Pat' as if they were personal friends (normally following watching the most recent video or demo). They rarely ride and if they do it's in walk only preferring to spend their time doing obstacle courses. When others do genuine obstacle courses for fun they are derided for being childish and pointless.
I am now going to run for cover...

Ooooh have known a couple of these!

 

[flump]

Hmm name me for me!

I'm the one who asks every livery of the wether forecast in case my boys get wet/cold etc. I screech at my mum to help me all the
time, go around with iPhone playing music And generally get tutted at for leading 3 together or having my horses shod an nit using the walker enough!!

 

[Gingerwitch]

I'm a dreamer - absentee hybrid. I remember a conversation once with a fellow livery the first time we met after about 3 months on the yard. She said if the horses hadn't been going in / out they would never have believed I even existed as nobody on the entire yard had ever seen me

And now on another yard I regularly get asked if I've ridden at all this week, despite having worked the beast for at least an hour every evening, again by stealth when nobody else is around

you ought to change your name to the Ninja

 

[Gingerwitch]

Hmm name me for me!

I'm the one who asks every livery of the wether forecast in case my boys get wet/cold etc. I screech at my mum to help me all the
time, go around with iPhone playing music And generally get tutted at for leading 3 together or having my horses shod an nit using the walker enough!!

Well your a part bred FAFFER - not sure about the other bit, as a bit confused you have your horses shod at night whilst on the horse walker

 

[flump]

Oh no lol meant I get told off by one group for shod ponies and told off by another group a my horses don't go on the walker enough!

 

[asterid]

The chav hybrid Know it all

The one with strange coloured hair resembling a skunk/ badger. Wears chav type clothing and walks like a man muttering 'all right mate' as she walks past. however, this one is bipolar, so one minute ' all right mate', the next 'I'll break your legs'. This person owns the best top class showjumper but is has never even been near a BSJA class.

Or

Husband's Title

The yard prissy who stamps her feet to get what she wants and is given what she wants because of her husbands title. Prissy has the closet field, best rugs and has a horse whisperer, but hasn't managed to get out of trot yet in the 5 years of ownership!

The inquirist/ jelous

'so what you doing with your horse', 'going BSJA this week, then dressage next week, full calander this month'. 'Oh, that's nice'. Then you hear, she thinks she knows it all! Who does she think she is off out competing! She overworks that horse. (normally linked to the Perfectionist and the husbands title.


Love this thread.

 

[gmw]

The model type.
Doesn't know where muck heap is 'cause husband, friend, family member, clinger mucks out for her, has model figure, four inch long nails, THE BEST OF EVERYTHING. Horse is immaculate as is stable, lorry and tack (see husband etc etc etc) when she competes she nearly always wins. Husband is looking for a little place with menage and stabling and a few acres. But MUST be in right area.

 

[Montyforever]

I'm the liver and breather I think but Im not older ..
Could be verging on parelli person if I didn't think it was rubbish, I'd rather spend time on the ground with my horses doing something constructive. Even though i don't ride .. I'm hard to fit into a catogory!!