Your best "it shouldn't happen to a horse owner but did

The first time my boyfriend came to watch me do anything horsey he brought his whole family as the granddad writes books about pointers and he had found a bit he had wrote about my TB's first race that he wanted to show me. We had a lovely ride and everyone was waiting at the last jump for photos and whatever, when my horse ran head first into a tree and dazed himself - so all they saw was me being escorted my a laughing feild vet leading a dizzy horse :(
 
EllenJay said:
This happend to a friend of mine. One very hot summers day, she was out hacking in jods and a bikini top. She was cantering across a field, at the end of the field was a builders site. Halfway across the field the horse took off, she was struggling to regain control when her bikini top came undone. She managed to bring the horse back to walk, flashing her boobs, just in front of the workmen. She has never ridden in a bikini top since. :o
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Absolutely brilliant! Bet the builders thought Christmas had come early!
 
Years ago, went with a friend to take a pony to the vets. He went to unload the pony (all 12hh of it!) and the pony decided to jump from the top of the lorry ramp to the bottom, taking my friend along paragliding behind him. Friend was a 15 stone rugby player as well, so it was no mean feat of this little pony! Let's just say that choice words were had between him and that pony!
 
We have a lot of mountain bikers here. Luckily, my horses aren't at all scared of them and even like to trot along with them if out and about. This one day I was approaching one of my favourite canter hills when a group of them appeared at the too. They were ever so sweet and waved me on whilst patiently waiting and making room for horse and I.
So up we gallop up said hill when all of a sudden horse puts in a full stop followed by a handstand and deposits me on the floor...
To add insult to injury, he then proceeded to meet the bikers, fishing for sweets or apples.... Cheeky beggar!
I wasn't hurt but mightily embarrassed, especially as I had to ask one of them to give me a leg up onto the 17.2h monster ;-p
Needless to say ... The bikers found the whole thing hugely amusing!
Actually, so do I now
 
Oh these are so good! I can think of a few...

The muck heap one... Just tipped my load and walking back down the two planks we had as a ramp. The wheel got stuck in between, flipped upright onto its front and I ended up balanced on top with my belly on the back of the wheelbarrow flailing my arms and legs as I couldn't reach the ramp! YO came to see what racket was and couldn't help me as she was doubled up laughing and needed a wee!

I once slipped on a wet mounting block and landed on my hip. Horse just sort of turned to look and I swear I heard him say "you idiot"!

My stirrup got caught on a gate, scared the pony I was riding, cantered off with one stirrup still on gate!

Got on horse to take him back to field bareback as usual... Decided he would turn around and go to stable. Accidentally left door open. Tried to stop him but as he walked through door, i was obviously going to be pushed off, so I grabbed the basketball hoop and pulled myself up. So, horse in stable, me hanging from hoop... Farmer walks by... "what on earth are you doing?"....
 
Many embarrassing hunt stories from the 70s.... one time, the guest huntsman from another hunt (who was clearly p*ssed) asked me to get off my (new, fast and somewhat dangerous) TB to give him a leg up - I did, rather too vigorously and pushed him right over the other side... he landed on his head.

Later that day, coming up from the back of the field and unable to stop, I decided to use someone who was standing still as a brake.... it was a small boy about 6 on an 11.2 pony. My horse's head went straight into the kid and knocked him off. Turned out it was the guest huntsman's son... ouch...
 
I had a similar incident to ravenwood, in that I had stopped outside our local pub on a glorious day to chat, and had a swift half. Pony decides its quite relaxing, and lets it all hang loose.. Much mirth and inferiority complex from all the men :o then he flexes it a bit, rearranges legs and has a long wee, complete with grunting and plenty of splashback. It stank, really not what you want or expect when having a quiet countryside drink at your local. I don't think the men of the village have quite recovered yet! :o
 
During summer. I was up in the far paddocks in t-shirt, shorts and flip flops. Putting up electric fence poles to divide up teds field, this is fair old distance from yard etc. when all of a sudden it pours! It was honestly as if a waterfall had poured on my head.

I had to run bk to the yard with a plastic laundry bag on my head that I used for carrying hay up the field, on my head. By the time I got to the yard. My t-shirt was completely see-through. And the rest of me totally soaked. I had to find some spare clothes, could find mostly everything apart from knickers!! :/
 
During the summer I had a cute wee 14.2 cob on loan. He was generally pretty angelic, very quiet and sweet, although slightly green.

Anyway, a friend of mine has 2 daughters (then 7 and 8) who are horse mad. They were desperate to come up and see him, so I invited them up and decided that after I'd ridden him, I'd let them have a quick go (on the lead rein). So between the 3 of us we got him groomed and tacked up- they loved him. I got on in the school, felt like he was a bit fresh.

Fresh he certainly was. The little bugger seemed to forget that he was supposed to be a little angel and did his best rodeo impression. Right beside where they were standing (at the other side of the fence!). His bronco impression was very effective, he was even kind enough to throw me into the muddiest, wettest part of the arena.
 
I once went to pick a broom up from the floor but was being lazy go tried to flip it up. Missed the handle as it came up and it smacked me in the face!!
 
I put a rug over the bar in the field shelter to dry off. Benjy the pet sheep came to investigate, got his head stuck through a leg strap and dragged it at high speed round 2 acres of rocky hill field. As I needed it fairly fast and my usual rug repairer normally took about 4 weeks, I sent it to the ones my neighbours use - who took 8 weeks and charged me £45 for clean and repair (would have been £25 with my usual lady), £5 more than I'd paid for the rug in the first place!
 
Washing off horses muddy legs = ok, then washing off my muddy wellies = ok. Followed by putting the hose down, walk 2 steps to the tap to turn off and in that time the hose pipe had gone all 'firemans hose' on me, snaked and squirted water UP my trousers making me look like I had wet myself! :eek:
 
My old horse once spooked in the dark at a loud noise, span in front of me and then managed to stand on both my feet. wouldve been ok but then she nudged me so I sat down and couldnt get up with her feet on both of mine. I swear she was laughing at me and when she did back off eventually i couldnt get uop cos i was laughing so much.
 
My sister had a 11.2hh exmoor pony when we were younger and I had a NF (more like a mini thoroughbred!) that we used to race around one of our fields. One day the exmoor got very excited about this and reversed into a thornbush, then took off at high speed. My sister was left hanging in the bush like a proper thelwell rider. Nearly fell off my pony i was laughing so much :D
 
KrankyKaty said:
My old horse once spooked in the dark at a loud noise, span in front of me and then managed to stand on both my feet. wouldve been ok but then she nudged me so I sat down and couldnt get up with her feet on both of mine. I swear she was laughing at me and when she did back off eventually i couldnt get uop cos i was laughing so much.
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Hahaha that really made me belly laugh!!!! :D
 
Many years ago, sister and I kept our first horse at a local farmers old stable yard. The yard was a sea of mud and on one memorable day, mucking out, pushing the wheelbarrow across this, sister lost welly, stood balanced on one leg for a bit, calling for me to help. I did get there, doubled up laughing, sister fell over, putting unclad foot in mud, clutched on to me and I went down as well :D It took us ages to get back up, mainly because we were hysterical by then :D
 
Annielusian said:
I was walking Ned on a grass verge, since the ford was iced over. He slipped and landed on the ice, which unfortunately was thick and didn't break. He reminded me of Bambi, while he scrambled to stay upright! Those crazy standardbred legs of his saved us both, I think!! He finally got himself properly upright and stood stock still for ages, I could almost hear his brain ticking, wondering what to do XD

I let him get himself out and after a while he walked on and got himself off the ice and back to safety!!

I was scared out of my wits when it happened, but now I look back, it makes me giggle :P
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We had that with daughter's 11.2 SecA. there's a bit of our road that's always under water...one mornign it was like an ice rink, and neitehr pony nor I could walk on it!

Also daughter once won 'most stylish round' - she was clear (and looking good, also one of the youngest competitors) other than the last jump of the jump off jump where pony refused, and she somersaulted off and over the jump, landing on her feet with a flourish! Pony then jumped it clear!
 
Went down to Finn to feed him before work a few weeks ago on a frosty morning. While I was waiting for him to eat his brekkie I decided I would push the barrow round and collect the few poos in his field (while wearing work clothes...) coming back up the hill the barrow got stuck in a rut, so I gave it a big shove... at which point my non equestrian footwear slipped on the ice... My feet went backwards, I fell face down onthe ground and the whole barrow of poo fell backwards right over the top of me all in my hair and down my back (and my work coat)...let's just say I was late into work that day! More haste less speed! :D
 
Old loan horse bolted homeward, dumping me in a blackberry bush on the way! After I came round (ko'd for a few seconds), limped back to the yard and when I got there I realised I was covered in squashed blackberries, splodges all over! :D

My friend was 'kneed' in the face by her lovely mare once (totally accidentally) and knocked from one end of the stable to the other - literally flew through the air! (she broke her cheek bone in the process!) :eek:
 
Haha love these!

Not to me, but I still remember one yard I worked out - I went out to catch the ponies in in the morning and found them both wearing their rugs like skirts/in complete tatters! On closer inspection of the rugs, it became apparent that they had obviously been play fighting an gotten their rugs clipped together! They had obviously panicked then and managed to rip their rugs to shreds trying to get them apart! it was one of those moments when all you can do is laugh.

One of said ponies also managed to embarrass me by, when I went to give him a kiss on the nose, deciding to chuck his head up in the air and gave me a swollen, bloody lip!
 
Spiritedly said:
Years ago I was brushing my youngsters front legs when the hunt when past the bottom of her field, she got excited, kneed me in the face and knocked me flying. My other half took me to hospital as my nose was pouring blood and swollen, I spent most of my time at the hospital trying to convince them that it really was a horse that did it not my boyfriend! They even sent him out so I could talk to them in private. Even when we left (me with a broken nose) they gave me a domestic violence leaflet ! My poor boyfriend was horrified.
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My horse bit my son and he had a huge nasty bruise on his back, he (my son) then had an allergic attack and my dad took him to hospital in middle of night. They were also quite sure that my son had been a victim of domestic violence. Because my son and my dad were both quite tired, it took a while before they realised why they were being asked the questions that they were asked.
 
I'm laughing so much i nearly peed myself! :D
Well, here's my numpty moment, only happened about a week ago :rolleyes:
I was getting ready for a hack, tacked up in the stable, mare is very touchy about her girth so I always do it up loose then do it up properly just before I get on. Well, I got myself ready, horsey full ready, walked out of the stable, placed horse a few steps from a mounting block, and being a numpty, let the reins go to do the girth up and pull the stirrups down, at this point horse decides that it isn't going for a hack, instead it's going to the field. I stood there watching my horse naff off down the track towards the field, then after initial shock passed; I calmly swore and walked after it. I knew the track leads to 3 closed gates and no other way out apart from up the track again, left hand side gate leads to the YO fields, horse is scared of her horses so I knew she won't jump that gate, the middle gate leads to woods which start about 5foot after the gate so I didn't think she'd jump that, and the right hand side gate leads to a field which then has a gate to her field. So to catch her i had to corner her between the fence and left gate. I got pretty close when horse decided to take a run up and jump the middle gate :confused: while jumping the saddle slipped right back onto her arse, reins flapped around her ears, she landed and was so busy bucking trying to get the saddle off that she didn't see the woods, so bashed face first into a tree, stopped and looked around as if to try to find a way out, waved her back leg in the last attempt to get the saddle off and then sighed and hanged her head real low as if to say 'I guess I’ll need you now, can't get out of this myself'. So I caught horse, tacked it up again and went for a nice hack, I must say now I take extra care NOT to let go of the reins or leave her stable door open. :) :o
 
some of these are genius!

Whoever it was that threw the guest huntsman over the horse onto his head and then knocked his 6yr old son off his horse = remind me never to get on your bad side :D

We used to have to lead ponies across the railway. Well, this day I'd phoned and was told if I was quick, I'd be ok. Ponies got halfway across and then one decided he really needed to pee and stopped in the middle of the tracks and refused to move until he'd finished. Thankfully, we were well clear before the train came past.

rear file of a hack of 10 horses. all of them go for a gallop except one who decided to plant. I went to use my whip, my horse reared and bucked so I landed on his neck in front of the saddle. We then went racing off up the hill after the others. How I stayed on, god knows 'cause he had such a scrawny neck :P

The day a car stopped and switched its engine off, spooked my pony. She half stopped but forgot to put her front legs back on the ground so she landed on her knees. I landed in front of her - on my feet - holding her reins between my legs. The couple in the car were very apologetic as I had to explain that no, it was my horse forgetting she has a brain! :D:D:D
 
Well for Christmas I had a new head torch and thought I would go a try it out went over to my Paddy was walking out of his stable something frightened him and he smacked me straight in the eye (at about 60 mph) and then lifted his head hit my torch it went flying and he stood on it a broke it!! It was only half an hour old :0( just my luck
 
Years ago, out quietly plodding on my own, my horse got spooked at something and took off into a flat out gallop. I was sort of flailing along, not particularly trying to stop him, but clearly out of control. We came to this brook which is about 5 feet across - horse took off and jumped it (again, obviously completely out of control). On the other side of the brook there was this very posh looking rider with a posh well controlled horse. "Goodness me, he's frisky today!" said I as I bounced past. Oh, the embarrassment! I stayed on anyway....
 
So making me laugh! The hunting ones have reminded me of a couple of mine...hanging around at a covert which was taking for EVER. Needed a pee as did my friend, went quietly away, and THEN the hunt moved off...right to where we were crouching. Unfortunately I got my friend backup on hers and the was stuck..huntsman had to dismount and give me a leg up...

Or a couple of meets later why my friend just managed to put her foot in it every time she opened her mouth. Friend to local blacksmith out with his son. " aren't you lucky your wife lets you out hunting for the day" blacksmith " not really.. She's just left me" ten minutes later - friend to someone she hadnt seen for a bit "oh why aren't you out on your super pony" response "he was put down last week"

After that she decided to only talk to me!...
 
My friend used to do my mare for me some mornings and one morning she was hungover, overslept her alarm and was late. She rushed down the yard in ger pjs and wellies (middle of winter) and then apparently repeatedly apologising to my mare opened her door to be greeted with an evil looking face holding a bucket half full of water which was promptly thrown over her complete with bucket! She apparently stood there in shock for a minute, quickly made her breakfast and chucked it at her before pegging it back to her room to change so she didnt catch her death!
I only wish Id been there I would have wet myself laughing :p apparently the whole yard was in hysterics! :D.... And she was never late again! :p
 
My daughter taught her horse to say please by waving his leg in the air. I turned him out one morning, took his headcollar off and turned towards the gate when he decides he wants a carrot caught me straight up the ar"se and sent me flying into the mud!
 
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