Your best "it shouldn't happen to a horse owner but did

Cracked myself in the face with the end of a lunge whip.. Love big red line up my face for days!
Broke the tip of my pinky hitting a broom off a wall to try and deter my horse from rubbing her bottom on the wall. (pinky got caught between broom and wall)
 
tallyhohoho said:
Got on horse to take him back to field bareback as usual... Decided he would turn around and go to stable. Accidentally left door open. Tried to stop him but as he walked through door, i was obviously going to be pushed off, so I grabbed the basketball hoop and pulled myself up. So, horse in stable, me hanging from hoop... Farmer walks by... "what on earth are you doing?"....
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Classic !
 
Apologies for posting this one on a previous thread some time ago: Out hunting on uncontrollable ex flapper racehorse...... out of control, overtook the field, overtook the huntsman/whippers in etc./overtook hounds. Eventually stopped as was going up a steep hill. I've never been so ashamed in all my life.
 
fidleyspromise said:
some of these are genius!

Whoever it was that threw the guest huntsman over the horse onto his head and then knocked his 6yr old son off his horse = remind me never to get on your bad side :D

:D:D:D
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That was me..... I was about 14 at the time.....



Another classic of mine was on one of those cross country "fun" rides somewhere in the west country of england. Going over the practice jump and in the warm up area, my welsh cob section D was bucking like crazy (he always did when he got excited). We rodeoed right across the field along with all the others doing collected canter "how the hell do you stay on that horse?" asked someone from our yard "Oh, I'm used to it" I said. 10 minutes later, I was flying through the air having lost both stirrups (forgot to shorten them for jumping - gah!!). Shame...pride came before the fall...
 
Well aside from hitting myself round the face with a lunge whip and punching myself in the face whilst doing up girths...

Not so long ago I was taking off my horse's fetlock boot. As I bent down he kicked at a fly, but my head got in the way. Great.
 
Some of these are just fantastic!

Well I once managed to slip while fishing out ice from a water trough and fell in it! It was so cold but sadly I was fairly near the beginning of my chores so by the time I got home I was frozen.

Another annoying one was when I was helping a friend desensitise her horse to traffic. To do this, he was in a small paddock right next to a fairly busy road. We were giving him his hard feed and I was holding onto his leadrope. He was doing very well and was fairly calm until a car came round the corner a bit fast. He backed away very fast, clearly terrified. Unfortunately the end of his leadrope flipped up and round my hand between my third and fourth finger as he was backing up, breaking my fourth and pinky finger quite badly as they were pulled away. It wasn't like I had the rope wrapped around my hand so was very annoying :(
 
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Finished schooling in pitch dark. Leant over to close the school gate - mare spooked, disappeared from underneath me, and hightailed it off across a 20 acre stubble field - wearing a new Stubben dressage saddle, double bridle and a blanket draped over her quarters. Spent an hour wandering round the field in the dark hunting for her. Nothing... couldn't hear her, couldn't see her, couldn't leave her there for the night as she had her tack on. Closed the gate and went back to the yard to get a torch, and spent another half hour hunting. Really beginning to worry, so went back to the yard - to find that she had tiptoed back to the yard while the gate was still open at some point during my first hunt and was in her stable! I'd got the torch out of my grooming box, which was outside her stable, and not noticed she was there!
 
Spiritedly said:
Years ago I was brushing my youngsters front legs when the hunt when past the bottom of her field, she got excited, kneed me in the face and knocked me flying. My other half took me to hospital as my nose was pouring blood and swollen, I spent most of my time at the hospital trying to convince them that it really was a horse that did it not my boyfriend! They even sent him out so I could talk to them in private. Even when we left (me with a broken nose) they gave me a domestic violence leaflet ! My poor boyfriend was horrified.
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Ba ha ha ha ha, my OH would have just stood there threatening to give me another back-hander if we were in your situation :D
 
Just remembered one from last winter, Our turnout used to be a bog, it was horrible. I went in to get F as he was widing up the other horses, as I went in one of my snow boots got stuck in the mud, in an attempt to pull it I put all my weight into my other boot and grabbed onto F's headcollar, F then swung me clear of my boots and then bolted out of the feild gate. I then had the choice of either retriving by boots or getting F (as farm is near road) Ran through field in just my socks to get F, managed to catch F, Ran him down to the stable (much to everyones amusment) then about 5 of us had to try and find my black boots in the dark.

And one that happened today. Was carrying a full haynet out of the indoor block, the wind blew the door shut and knocked me flying backwards into the tackroom
 
My first pony always got the sh**s whenever we did something different from the norm. One day at the Pony Club summer show I was bending over behind him to clean off one lot of poo when he did another right down my back on my white shirt! :o It was a boiling hot summers day and I had to ride with my jacket on for the rest of the show :(

Sooo embarrassing when you are 12 :o

My horse also gave my friend a black eye when she went to do his rug up - he thought she was asking him to do a carrot stretch and as he was so greedy he did it really fast and whacked her in the face :(
 
I took my normally well behaved veteran out for a nice canter in a field we had cantered in many times, without incident. Decided to canter around the perimeter of the field, and then have a blast up the hill side. Horsey decided it was great fun and took on a strong hold, despite me hauling on his pelham and double reins (normally ride in this) and to add insult to injury thought it was great fun to stick his head between his legs, several times and very high as well. We parted company and he cleared off through the gate outside the field. Got myself up, very sore and a mouthful of blood as well. Horsey was grazing just outside of gate quite happily and upon seeing him I let rip a string of 4 letter expletives which would make a navvy blush and grabbed him, calling him a mother ********r and a cee you next tuesday several times. Didnt see the old boy walking his dog, who was also trying to catch my horse. Old boy was terribly well spoken and even offered to leg me up. I still blush to the roots of my hair thinking about it.

Second time was Mini TX. We were at Homme House last year in the showjumping warmup and she was eyeing up a young lad who was wearing a union flag on his hat silk, who was sitting on his horse nearby. She was sitting on her mare waiting to go into the showjumping. I was standing next to her and all I could hear was a loud pharrp. She went red and young lad just wrinkled his nose up and walked off. I couldnt stop laughing, she was mortified. Even her horse raised her eyebrows!
 
My trick is finding dead things in water troughs... found a drowned pigeon at my last yard, and part of a chicken (by part I mean the ribcage and the leg, leg still with feathers, skin and claws) at my current yard. Not fun trying to fish them out, believe me.

Oh, and having my beloved pony clunk me round the head after having a couple of cartilage piercings done. Resulted in a lot of blood and the temptation to clunk him back!
 
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I have 2 others but cows, not horses this time.

I used to go out with a dairy farmer. Came back from a night out in the wee small hours to find 250 prized dairy cows loose in the yard. Rounded them all up and shuffled them back into where they should have been. One was still missing. Hunted high and low and found it eventually in the cesspit, up to it's neck and essentially about to drown. He got the boom out, gave me a crash course in how to drive it and he then stood in the bucket of the boom with a lasso, whilst I lowered him over the lagoon. He then lassoed the cow and I had to raise the boom to lift them out. Cow was very nearly strangled in the process. It wasn't the smoothest of operations and my amateur jerky movements meant I nearly bounced him in more than once! To add insult to injury, the poor cow was then powered hosed to clean her off. God knows how but she survived unscathed! All this in a party dress too!

Same farm. I was in the process of training a collie to do the cows. There was a new, very expensive heifer there who was learning the ropes about coming into the milking parlour. She was a stubborn old witch tho and was a bugger to get in. One day, in sheer desperation, I was asked to get the collie and use him to get this heifer in. Heifer took exception to this and set off like a racehorse. Collie locked on and set off chasing it and, as he wasnt fully trained, I couldn't get him off. The heifer went straight over a 6 foot hedge like Red Rum and went galloping in to the middle distance at high speed with a wild collie hot on her heels. Old Pa farmer had got involved by this stage and he set off across the field after the pair of them. I could barely stand up for laughing, which did not go down well at all!!!
 
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PoppyAnderson said:
Same farm. I was in the process of training a collie to do the cows. There was a new, very expensive heifer there who was learning the ropes about coming into the milking parlour. She was a stubborn old witch tho and was a bugger to get in. One day, in sheer desperation, I was asked to get the collie and use him to get this heifer in. Heifer took exception to this and set off like a racehorse. Collie locked on and set off chasing it and, as he wasnt fully trained, I couldn't get him off. The heifer went straight over a 6 foot hedge like Red Rum and went galloping in to the middle distance at high speed with a wild collie hot on her heels. Old Pa farmer had got involved by this stage and he set off across the field after the pair of them. I could barely stand up for laughing, which did not go down well at all!!!
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that's made me laugh out loud, brilliant.

just remembered this one.
when i was young and particularly stupid, i used to do my canter work alongside an A road near the livery yard, it had nice wide verges and little ditches to jump. at the bottom of the hill one day, going at quite a lick, i saw a puddle ahead, and carried on galloping. unfortunately a water main had burst and the 'puddle' was actually a huge pool of muddy water, mare galloped straight into it, lost her feet, sat down and skidded to a halt. i shot straight over her head and landed in stinky muddy water between her front legs (didn't let go of the reins, well-trained at that at least!)
we were both totally unscathed, but had the 'ride of shame' about a mile home, both plastered and freezing. of course, EVERYONE happened to be out in their garden that day and asked whether we were okay. mortifying.
similarly
stupid youngster spooked at the edge of one of our huge Fen drainage ditches, lost her footing on the slippery grass, and fell in headfirst. i bailed out 1/2 way down the bank and we both slid into the disgusting stinky black pondsludge mud at the bottom. managed to catch the horse and rode home, even stinkier than last time. it took 3 washes of everything to get it all clean-ish. :( :( :(
 
We'd only had knobberpony a month and it was my 8 year old daughters' birthday.Both sets of grandparents,plus aunty,mum dad and sister were all gathered to watch her do some jumping.Unfortunately knobberpony decided to refuse,daughter kept on going,sailing over the jump and landing on the floor.Her dad was taking photos as he wanted to get a lovely one of her jumping,and looking at them you can see the exact moment that knobberpony thought, 'no,I'm not going to do it',and put her forelegs out straight,ploughing up the menage surface.To add insult to injury,she then stood on her jockey's foot as she led her back to the yard.

Last week,with my 6 year old on board,knobberpony put her head down and 6 year old somersaulted over her head to land in the mud.Knobberpony looked very surprised to see her on the floor.Also last week,knobberpony planted and refused to move,I walked over to tell my 8 year old to give her a tap with the whip,and she did,unfortunately whipping me across the face as she did it.
 
Have done the whole face - girth injury thanks to too short girths, slippy gloves, cold fingers etc.

Have legged someone over the back of a horse, also have given leg up onto horse that wouldn't stand, rider ended up sitting on horses bum!

Was standing at the side of the arena when a horse cantered past, did a fart, spooked and whipped me across the face with his tail.

My horse is quite a personality, yesterday I was riding with a friend and her mare started acting the maggot and things started to get messy. I hopped my lad to help friend and gave the reins to another friend who was sitting on the mounting block, my lad knocked him off the block twice with head rubs :o

Got pulled clean off my horse on a hack - a 17.2hh was in front of us and pulled a BIG branch forward going through a gap, when I was approaching the gap the branch swung back and smacked me in the face, horse did a semi spook and legged it for the gap, leaving enough room for him without me on board, felt like a right tit since we were only walking at the time!

Also, hopped onto my old pony and was tightening the girl, as I lifted my leg and leaned to reach the girth straps, something the pony, pony shot off like a rocket to the right and left me in a heap, completely mortified as my mum (non horsie) waqs watching
 
These are hysterical stories, had me in stitches last night reading them all :D :D :D

Thought I'd add my two:

One was when I was a young whipper snapper. Very short version of the story is that I was lent a pony to take to a PC event. We were to pick up another pony on the way. Other pony wouldn't load, so 'mine' was taken off to see if that would help, only he saw that the gate was open to a very tempting lush green field, so legged it. I had hold of the leadrope and I kept hold! Pony going like the clappers trying to get away in this new and wonderful place, and me, being a ponyless lass, holding on for grim death as I wasn't going to lose the day's ride - I could see gate after gate open ahead of me! I must have touched the ground roughly every fifty feet :eek::eek::rolleyes::D:D. Pony did stop in the end, all loaded up, and off we went :D

Second was when D1 had had Little Cob for a few months. He was being a bit toadish so I said I'd get on. I put my foot in the stirrup, but after that I'm not sure what happened :eek::cool: Next thing I knew I was lying on my back thinking Ow!, with my head under the pony's head. Looking up I don't know who was trying not to laugh most, the pony or the child :rolleyes::rolleyes::D:D:D. The embarrasing thing was that I couldn't ride my motorbike to the City for work, had to catch the train and tube and take cabs, and whenever anyone asked if I'd fallen off I had to say no, as I hadn't actually managed to get off the ground never mind make it into the saddle :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:
 
I've remembered a truly hideous one! Teaching a group of fairly competant teenagers on riding school horses - I had them jumping a grid set up on the centre line, then turning left as they got to C. Rest of the group were parked up at B.
Everyone was jumping it nicely, except for one pony, who was being allowed to duck right after the last fence and pile into the back of the ride. Rider (I thought) was being a bit wet, and after three failed attempts, I called her over, jocked her off and climbed aboard. Gave pony a bit of a talking to, set off down the grid, and ended up flat on my face in the dirt! I had assumed I had struck the fear of God into pony, and that he would toe the line and turn left when I asked him to. I was wrong - he did the exact same thing, only much faster...

Cue much giggling from teenagers, and a massive cheer from the riding school staff, who were having lunch in the cafe overlooking the school! The shame still haunts me...
 
Haven't read all of these and would be interested to know if this has happened to anyone else. While my daughter was giving pony rides to some young children she had baby-sat for, her pony went to bite off a fly on her belly and got the stirrup stuck in her mouth. Of course her initial reaction was to pull away from it and she overbalanced and was rolling on the floor, legs kicking out everywhere. I had just called in on my way back from work with open-toed sandals on and the mother of the four children had her baby in her arms. She quickly got the children out of range and while I held the lead rope, my daughter undid the girth. It seemed to take an age but we are ultra careful now and always put stirrups over the saddle immediately we get off. We daren't think what we would have done if this had happened to one of us when we were on our own.

Another was when I was riding our greedy cob pony along the lane when he slipped sideways and ended up lying on my leg in the middle of a muddy lane. He spotted some grass growing at the bottom of the hedge so just lay there and proceeded to eat it, with my leg getting number by the minute! It was before the days of mobile phones - I would have loved a photo.
 
cream-honeysuckle said:
Haven't read all of these and would be interested to know if this has happened to anyone else. While my daughter was giving pony rides to some young children she had baby-sat for, her pony went to bite off a fly on her belly and got the stirrup stuck in her mouth. Of course her initial reaction was to pull away from it and she overbalanced and was rolling on the floor, legs kicking out everywhere. I had just called in on my way back from work with open-toed sandals on and the mother of the four children had her baby in her arms. She quickly got the children out of range and while I held the lead rope, my daughter undid the girth. It seemed to take an age but we are ultra careful now and always put stirrups over the saddle immediately we get off.
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Yes it has and was actually going to post about it. A friend was leading a horse with stirrups down. He turned his head to swat away a fly on his belly and got the stirrup in his mouth. He went hysterical, understandably and went over. She couldn't get near him at first as he was kicking out so much but eventually, he exhausted himself and gave up. She was then able to rescue him. I never leave stirrups down now because of this.
 
Never seen it first time round but lmao at it its sooo funny,

I could honestly write a book about all the things that have happened to me..... sme of the funniest ones tho were getting a leg up onto my pony - totally overshooting it and landing on the horse next to him.

Having no control over my pony and him deciding to join a family who were having a picnic. he wanders right over to them stuffs his head in the picnic basket and starts munching at their sandwiches - how embarassing.
 
Just a couple . . .

1) I always chuck Kal's leadrope over his neck while I do his headcollar up . . . did it one day in the stable and realized it wasn't attached to the headcollar so went sailing straight over.

2) Had finished lunging and walked Kal into his stable (I lunge him in a bridle with lunge line attached to offside bit ring and threaded through nearside) . . . reached round and unclipped lunge line, pulled it through rather too quickly and the clip hit me square in the mouth . . . chipped a tooth and gave me a fat lip.

P
 
I've had a good chuckle (again!).

I suffered some embarrassment fairly recently - while standing in front of horse (yes, I know now!!) doing up his rug buckles, he spooked, stood on my toes (ouch!) and pushed me over backwards onto my btm. I sat there not knowing whether to laugh or cry.....
 
I was out riding with a friend who was on my diddy 13.hh pony and we went cantering up a hill out the woods and there were 2 branches on the floor with two low branches inbetween i shouted tree and when i turned round to make sure she was ok she was going straight into one of the low branches knocking her head right back .. first though... OMG I've killed her ... Digbys going to be running round with a dead girl on his back... but she was in hysterics so i realised she was ok but she did have a hell of abruise/cut on her neck for about 2 weeks - i walk up that track now

Also i was out riding with my husband - he rides a mountain bike - and Chubby was very tired and was following him very closly i wasn't paying much attention but Cisco let his head drop that much his nose got caught on the back tyre - stopped the husbands bike who proceeded to fall off frontwards! and Cisco just stood there looking very puzzeled :D poor tired pony!

And as well the other day the two babys were playing and Chubbs grabed Banners tail flap which came off in his mouth and scared him half to death ;)
 
When Iived in London, turned up for an after work lesson. Unfortunately it was blowing a gale so it was decided riding was off. I went to give my favourite pony a good groom, and my instructor took the little girl who would have been having a lead rein lesson in with the oldest, quietest pony to teach her how to groom. Suddenly, I heard terrible screams from down the yard, dashed down thinking we were going to need an ambulance to find the instructor holding the little girl up and creasing herself! Dolly the pony had turned her head, the little girl had stepped back and fallen into dolly's water - she was so tiny she'd just folded in half and had been stuck with her bum in the bucket and her legs waving in the air :D Needless to say, Queen Dolly was paying no attention whatsoever as she was far too important to be bothered by silly human antics... :D

Fortunately the girl's mum saw the funny side too!
 
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