Your biggest horsey humiliations

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skewby

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I humiliated myself hideously at an event today. Horse started it, I finished it. Too ashamed to describe it right now, but don't worry, more wine and it will all come out
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So, just to make me feel better, and to coax it out of me, can you tell me your most embarrassing horsey moments please??? Thanks
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Fell off twice before getting on in public at a show on two occaisions, much tut tutting by bystanders.
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Sis got galloped off with by her tippity top horse at very big show as he took fright at the carridges almost mowed down whole row of spectators - think small children in prams, older people etc etc - even more tut tutting!! You are not alone air was a bit blue on all occaisions!!
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OK Nappy mare reversed into a spectator at a horse show.

Same nappy mare I waited 3 hours to Showjump and she napped at the start knocked over a timing clock and I was eliminated before I had even got out of a walk!!

This was 28 years ago but I still remember both embarassingly.
 
My horse was being nappy and went into a eletric fence
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, knocked the fence over and spooked a horse over the other side who was doing gymkana lol was bliming embarrising,
 
When Rauti was 4 we were at a yard which had a big indoor school; along the short side there was a gallery which was used as clubhouse as well as restaurant. It was quite popular among locals, not only liveries / horsey people, so it was always full at lunchtime -- people would have a look at what was happening in the indoor arena while eating.

It was a Sunday, lunchtime of course, and I tried to get on Rauti -- got on the mounting block, attempted to get on and fell the other side as in the meantime Rauti had galloped off
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I still don't know how it happened, don't even know if I actually made it to the saddle or not, all I know is that I literally jumped above him all the way to his other side.

I am so glad that there was glass separating me from the overcrowded gallery -- at least I couldn't hear their laughs.
 
I think I have conveniently buried my most embarassing moments as mine are rather tame but having ridden alot of ex racers over the year they have frequently freaked out at things.

I had one that would never pass prams or umbrellas - I remember mothers trying to hide their prams with their bodies to let us past

Another time I was jumping in a ring wisely placed next to a full size funfair. Jumped first round fine but when they started up the giant banana swing my horse completely refused to jump away from it - would jump towards it oddly enough but not turn his back on it (think this came from him being hit by a wagon from behind while out riding not long after I got him) he then shot away down the horse walk which was of course filled with non horsey spectators with prams and children and me shouting loudly for them to please move rearing madly.

Another time when I was 14 and jumping in senior classes with my very excitable first horse he got so over excited in Foxhunter class he went into a corner and wouldn't come out but just leapt round in circles till we were eliminated.

My funniest was my sister falling over after the last fence when she had jumped a clear round at a county show before she went through the finish. She swore she got stung by a bee so her thigh couldn't grip on but it happened twice in the same day!!
 
I was on my way home from a hack now being out for around two hours my one leg gets the shakes (sciatica). Anyway i was around 100 metres away from the gate so i kicked my feet out of the stirrups and let my mares reins go to the end of the buckles, their was a couple of dog walkers behind me, well my mare just stopped and decided to shake like a dog the next thing i knew i,d slid down her neck like it was slide.
I went straight over her head and landed on my bum in a sitting position my mare just stood there looking at me like i was a plank.
The dog walkers were howling with laughter i however had to laugh with them but inside was cringing with embarrasment.
Because as i landed the mare decided to let rip the loudest f*rt i have ever heard.
 
ok.........here goes kicked below waist and above my knees - say no more!! - never stand directly behind a horse whilst putting on a tail bandage.............
had to go to hospital and xrays showed i had broken a bone, thank god i was aged 9yrs ( many years ago - no tail bandages for my horses!!!!)
 
On the mounting block about to mount.. Two riding instructors and Yard owner behind me waiting to mount on there horse at the block. My horse stepped foward, I didnt. Swung, And ended up with my calf over the horse behind the saddle, and me hanging on to the side of her, sideways.. Was very embarassing and funny. And also fidgeting in the saddle, whilst some one was checking my stirrups for me, andd all of a sudden hearing a massive tare(sp) thankfully, it was my underwear and not my jods!
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I`ve got 2 that spring to mind.
1) Large championship show, I had just walked out to stand in front of the judge to do my individaul show, when it was annouced there would be a 1 minutes silence, we stood in middle of ring, you could of heard a pin drop until my man decided it was time for a wee!
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(he was the sort of pony that would have normally crossed his legs till back in his box) It sounded if someone had turned a hose on to concert.
2) Another large show when the judge decided he was going to ride all the ponies, My pony had a repution as not being an easy ride, so I held my breath as he mounted and before he had sorted his reins out he was off, flat out around the ring, the judge pulled him up sorted out his knitting and then did a ok ride I`m told the murmer from the crowd went along the lines of "Oh Roberts Off!"
 
Must admit the most hilariously embarassing one I heard of recently - it was in a magazine I think - was where someone went to a show and forget THE HORSE!!!

Apparently there were 2 people and both thought the other had loaded it. It had me in complete stitches
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LOL! Chasing my horse down the road! He was fully tacked up and just walking slightly ahead of me! Long story preceding it but needless to say as i walked faster so did he. if i broke into a run so did he! If i slowed down so did he. But he remained just out of reach the whole time! All the time keeping an eye on where i was! And the car drivers were laughing!

Fortunately someone eventually realised what he was doing and got out of their car and stopped him!
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I once took part in a local dressage series. To my amazement I won my class in the first of the shows and then to my embarrassment, during the second show, I had to retire before reaching X on my first turn up the centre line because horse took a dislike to the judge!!

I took another horse out jumping to a local riding school. It was packed and the weather was bad so they held all classes in the indoor school. Myself and a friend were on the only 2 horses that just wouldn't stand and wait and would not be more than an inch apart from each other before calling. My friends horse managed to poo on a van bonnet and we were getting the evil eye from a lot of people that we just got in the way of. To make matters worse I then won my class and a my friend came 2nd!! We left very hastily after that
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I was on my way home from a hack now being out for around two hours my one leg gets the shakes (sciatica). Anyway i was around 100 metres away from the gate so i kicked my feet out of the stirrups and let my mares reins go to the end of the buckles, their was a couple of dog walkers behind me, well my mare just stopped and decided to shake like a dog the next thing i knew i,d slid down her neck like it was slide.
I went straight over her head and landed on my bum in a sitting position my mare just stood there looking at me like i was a plank.
The dog walkers were howling with laughter i however had to laugh with them but inside was cringing with embarrasment.
Because as i landed the mare decided to let rip the loudest f*rt i have ever heard.

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Thanks for that one, it made me cry
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Lucy has embarrest me so many times over the last 12 years. Once when we where at a show she got loose and jumped into the jumping ring while someone was doing there round.
and a few years ago i won a free day ticket to do afill dressage so thought i would have a go. She walmed up ok in the outdoor school but the test was indoors and she refused to enter the school. i got her in and started the test but when we went down the center line she got to x and just stopped and refused to move. I tried to make her and she just threaterned to rear. The judge rang the bell to say we were elim and lucy then walked out the arena as good as gold
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. As i passed the judge she told me i should have lessons in an indoor school before my next comp but Lucy had been going in indoor schools for meany years and a few weeks later i took her back to do showjumping (which she loves) and suprise suprise we didn't have a single problem. I was very imbarrest but you have to laugh
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QR- My most recent one was with my 17 yo at a local yard show. He had been diagnosed with navicular and this was his first outin, so thought that tack and turnout would be appropriate. He clearly didn't.
We walked into the ring, walked a whole what 5 steps?? and he exploded! He pinged off all 4 feet, landed bucked, spun, leaped around. He did this several times over till i left. When i left he wouldn't stand, cavorted around almost squishing watchers. I genuinly have NO idea how i stayed on.
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So so so embarrasing. I was allowed in at the end of the class to stand- just so he knew he wasn't gettin away with it.

ETS- I agree- c'mon Skewby. I think you should tell us now
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Stewarding at the Melton Ride about 6 years ago. My horse was lame so took my boss's horse which is the most utterly amazing hunter but won't jump a stick in cold blood.

We had to follow the competitors and jump the fences behind them and catch loose horses. I thought we'd finished our bit and went to stand with my farrier. He said I hadn't finished because there were 3 more hedges to go and to carry on and so I had to go and jump a hedge in cold blood on my own. One of our joint masters was jump judging. I attempted it three times, the second time I almost hit and killed a family of spectators by trying to jump the wrong side of the flag and only just managed to get over it third time. I went and spoke to him out hunting later that day and said something along the lines of "that was a bit of a disaster". He turned to me very coldly and said "know your limitations Caroline" and rode off and didn't speak to me again. I felt about 2" tall. It was the most humiliating experience of my equine life. I still cringe when I think about it now!!

The worst thing was that he told a whole bunch of people and so everyone knew (those who hadn't witnessed it first hand!!). Awful!!
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I took my veteran tb ex racer to a show and entered the ridden class, when everyone was walking i was jogging sidewards, when the trot round started i cantered sidewards and when the canter round started we went in to orbit!!!
I was asked to leave the ring and told i wouldnt be winning any prizes that day!! I was mortified i tried to get out of the ring and my friend was stood at the rope and wouldnt let me out and said oh stay in she is not that bad! I had to explain id been chucked out and everyone near the entrance was laughing!!
 
Thank you for making me laugh on a miserable wet Sunday morning!

I've got several to choose from but the one that still makes me blush after 20 odd years is my 1st show with me new Show Hack.
I'd only had her a week and the previous owner had said to ride her in a Kimblewick at home and a double or pelham at shows. I hadn't had a chance to go shopping and had been riding her in a snaffle, all fine.

So, it wasn't a huge show and we were doing the novice hacks so I thought a snaffle would be ok. All went fine in walk and trot, went into canter (which for hacks should be slow and refined) and felt her speed up. Asked her to come back and she speeded up a bit more. Asked strongly for her to slow it and she really speeded up. By this point we were lapping people and unsettling their horses. Speeded up again until we were doing a spanking gallop with me sawing away and trying to circle to slow her down, to no avail. As I galloped past the exit I yelled at the steward 'I'm coming out next time round!'. He opened the Exit and I galloped out leaving utter carnage behind. I'm still
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just thinking about it.

On the way back to the box riders were shooting me
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looks and I left the show ground very quickly!

Next show I got a pelham and she was the lightest most obedient ride and we won. Old bag that she was, she thought it was a hilarous
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Ha ha haaa these are brilliant!! I feel better now!

Well (cringing) I went to a HT yesterday, did the pairs first with my friend with her youngster. Nice round but he was a bit lazy and I couldn't seem to wake him up. When we finished I asked an experienced friend, should I take him round the individual as he felt like he had no energy! She said yes of course, "he's built for comfort not for speed, and he's jumping, don't worry about it".

So off I go. Horse is more wired as neighing for his pal who's now back at the lorry. But he's not a clingy horse and I was just glad he'd woken up a bit.

Started the course, with an old arch rival looking on, and he refused every fence on the way out. Neighing and napping, basically. Gave him a few wallops but got eliminated, but was allowed to carry on.

Let a girl past and nipped in behind her to get a lead. It worked - for one jump. Then the b*stard took off. Flat out through the whole of the rest of the course. It was terrifying!

Eventually turned him up a hill, nearly mowing down two people. I had to beg them to come over and grab a rein so I could get off as the sh|t was fully prepared to go again. Got off, couldn't even do my stirrups, girth or even get the sod off the course.

The WORST bit - I thought noone was looking and was screaming "you B*STARD!" at him, punching him in the neck and desperately trying to get his attention and failing. Then I saw the sea of faces in the next field! Further humiliation ensued as I tried to lead the loon off the course. Ended up screaming at the specatators "how about giving me a bloody HAND here, or am I just here to be f*cking LOOKED at??".

Oh God. I am dying inside. If anyone on here saw me yesterday or got shouted at by me, I apologise profusely!!!!
 
Took my WC X T to hunt trial, not only did he stop twice at the first fence but then dumped me at it. As it was a novice they tried to let him follow another horse over it, no chance!! luckily they let me carry on and do the others lol
 
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The WORST bit - I thought noone was looking and was screaming "you B*STARD!" at him, punching him in the neck and desperately trying to get his attention and failing.

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Man alive, don't post that on HHO
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O you have all cheered me up!! It is a crappy and I am on my sick bed but you have made me all laugh!!
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Mine is one lovely day I was out for a hack with my neice and we were trundling up a lane (one car a fortnight!) trying to pursaude the BGL to pick his hooves up when I got a text message. Now the signal for a text is the H&H hunting horn at which point the BGL went into orbit looking for the hounds and the rest of the field. Cue my neice standing on the verge on my cob wetting themselves laughing as I was going backwards, up and down and spinning around - was trying to get the BGL to go forwards and did a combined pony club kick, smack on the bum and shouting 'Stop being such a pr*ck!' when the lovely old man from the village came past on his bike............
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Always ride with my mobile on silent now.........
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Oh dear these are brilliant! Thank you all so much for the laugh!

Some of mine:
* Working as a treking guide (the experienced rider, and guide for the ride etc...), first river stopped to let all the horses have a drink, I was talking to some one when my mare quietly stepped to the left and left me behind. I landed face first in the river
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then had to continue the ride soaking wet and very red faced! Getting teased by all and looking like I was entering a wet t-shirt competition
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* Oh had almost forgotten this! I took my mums mare ( first 'horse' she owned in my lifetime) to a mounted games thing at the Mounted Police grounds (in Chile - to set the scene the police are ex-military police (dictatorship) and are still very serious and expected to be treated with respect (with an unspoken 'or else' in the air)).
Anyway, in the indoor arena had to do a figure of 8 round 2 barrels without going over the lines marking a rectangle. At the far end of the arena behind some stacked bales were benches with spectators. The mare (Dona Nana) had just cantered quietly round with my younger sister (which was highly suss) any way I got on and went in, this mare didn't need kicking (if you wished to stop anytime soon, you just loosened the reins. When the starter said go I lent forward slightly and she took off like a bat out of hell straight down the arena past the barrels aiming straight for the spectators (and judging by their faces they thought I was going to join them) any way as we got close I hauled desperatly on 1 rein - que a '2-wheelie' motorbike U-turn which we just made as we were going so fast, and ended up so we were going up the right wall of the arena. Now some foolish policeman was standing against this wall he flattened himself against it and we just missed his toes and my stirup skimmed 'below the belt'
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(too young at the time for that to fully sink in
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).
A grinning policeman told me later that the guy in the arena was the commanding officer!!
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!!
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!!
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I was absolutely mortified! He did leave the arena after that...
Needless to say all his subordinates thought it hilariuos that a kid had almost flattened him, and bought me (soft) drinks all afternoon.
 
Ooo so many to choose from!!
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This weekend's ODE comes pretty close...as we rodeoed all around the DR warm up, rodeoed around the DR test, rodeoed around the SJ warm up, rodeoed araound the SJ class (when we weren't going in to everything wiht head in the air, flat out), and then flew around the XC like he'd behaved beautifully all day long...
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Or maybe 3 weeks ago, when cubbing, the field set off across a field in canter, we just stood there with him refusing to move off the spot!

Or possibly the time my old mare got in with YO's (at the time) young geldings and practically raped them all!
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That went down well...

Fell off hunting once on my Sec D. He had been great all day, kept up, not strong, jumped. Came round a corner in a field, there were bits of an old tractor on the floor... he shot sideways in a spook, took off up the field from underneath me and I went flying, into a puddle. He then took off, overtook everyone (minus me, obviously!), cantered off on to the road and had to be caught by hunt staff with me running after him. Not one of my finest moments
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1. Proudly showing everyone how lovely my horse's trot was in hand in a field that had recently been sprayed with human effulent. Slipping and falling and then getting dragged face first past everyone through the effulent, bits of tissue, bits of other hideous items etc. I remember very clearly that moment of silence before everybody wet themselves.

2. Getting eliminated in a test for 3 errors of the course between entering at A and arriving at X. As came out of arena, a well known snooty dressage lady said "I should think so too". My reply drew actual gasps of horror from bystanders.

3. Having another go at the dressage, this time warming up properly and winning. Horse so overwhelmed that he had got rather aroused during prizegiving. People were pointing and laughing and again wetting themselves. The situation was not improved by attempting a lap of honour with five legs. Truly awful.

4. An absolutely lovely lady was showing me her new colt, I was burbling on about how I disliked a particular stallion because he had a vicious temperament and all his youngstock had the same difficult nature and I'd never known a good one. I then asked who her colt was by... yes that's right... I died on the spot.
 
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