MotherOfChickens, I have had my axiom rug for around 7 years and I love it, best rug I have ever owned, for me TB who lives out all year round but I also had one for my last pony who trashed every rug apart from that one! Other than that my vote is with amigo rugs.
I had exactly the same problem a few years ago, ordered about 8 rugs from them had an email confirming my order and giving me a order number. Few hours later they emailed me asking me to ring them. Hours later managed to get through and they told me my order didn't exist and they had sold out of...
Yes I do, I just heat it up in my hands. It makes me feel extra guilty that I don't always do it for the horses at work. I dream of having a heated tack room one day!
Like other have suggested, rising trot without stirrups. I have found it helps you stay more in rhythm and go with the horse more.
Also you say your stirrups are too short, you may benefit from doing some stretching exercises to open your hips and stretch your legs down so you could put them...