It sounds as if she has had a really hard start in life missing the natural discipline from Mum and has had to fight for her place in the world. I am wondering (in addition to all the good ideas above) if a session with a behaviourist might help? She is a bit too old and big to go to...
Quite understand - you have to make the right decision for all of you. You will give him a good life whatever he does - what he has not really had he will not miss.
I'm sure he had the best life with you so don't dwell on the ending - you did all you could. Time will ease the rawness of this pain you feel now so do take care of yourself.
I think all written vet reports are totally guarded for their insurance purposes these days and I take some of them with a large grain of salt. I would much rather have a knock-down, drag-out conversation with a vet I totally trust and then make my decision from there so maybe a video to your...
I hope it is not as serious as you are suggesting so if the vet thinks there is any hope, do talk to the guys at Trinity Consultants who do some amazing supplements to help liver recovery. Fingers crossed for you.
I have known a number of horses who really did not like loading onto a 3.5 but would happily load onto a trailer - it is something about going up the ramp into that solid wall. With a trailer you can practise loading with everything open so that it becomes a walk-through exercise to start...
I suspect it is more to do with herd hierarchy and where they feel safest and I am not clever enough to be able to work that one out!! My 15.2 TB mare was inconsistently bossy with her little herd of 3 and I never quite worked out where she sat - all I know is she would trot like a demented...