A bit of fun - How would you advertise your horse?

Charlie NF, handsome bay gelding 16 yrs 14.1h
Absolute dream Mum/Daughter share, hacks in compay and alone, when alone can do amazing stops/naps where he will calmly take in scenery while you either flap/yell or just wait, doesnt matter which!
Never EVER scary, complete confidence giver, doesnt 'do' schooling or fast work (yet:P) but loves to jump. Wont lunge without a rider, as of course theres no point, insists on walking on grass verges everywhere. 100000% in traffic loves people, great with other horses. Doesnt like changes, can be feisty in hand and likes to rear at you if he wants his own way. Never bucks, spins or rears when ridden.
Easy to do, completely addictive, loving and Quirky. Current home 4 months..cost priceless.
Not for Sale. Ever :)
:D
 
zoon said:
That one will never be for sale, but you can have this for 50p
67543_447160557878_509372878_5367228_5931152_n.jpg
Click to expand...

Sold!!! When can I collect? LOL
 
Gosh! Difficult one this. ....... OK so I'll try:-

"Not the Dope-on-a-Rope" 15hh Traddie Cob, Chunky Hunk, piebald and lovin' it. Every novices dream; steady and reliable, but he's a clever cob coz those who think they can ride brigade better get some padding in their britches as he'll see 'em a mile off and dump anyone he doesn't like - unceremoniously and muddily in nearest cowpat if available.

Chilled and amiable, loves cuddles and thrives on a busy yard. You could drop this guy into a war zone (god forbid) and he'd be fine - low flying helicopters don't faze him; however some people do, especially men with sticks and hi viz jackets, and if they're running towards him that's especially scarey, even tho' he's learning to trust his mum more when horrid things happen.

This is your classic dependable, beer drinking, rugby playing kinda Bloke; who gets on fine with everyone and is especially good at looking after the sensitive/scared little people and being everyone's "nanny", however there's a real soft side to him and he'll sell his soul for a bite of Marmite sandwich or Gingernut biscuit.

This is a chap who's as wide as he is tall, and is pretty imposing to look at - real presence (a bit bigger and he'd have made a fantastic police horse - or maybe a Drum horse???), BUT let a vet enter the living zone and boy is he a wuss, a cringing wreck of a man who flares his nostrils, snorts and dashes to the back of stable, totally needle-phobic.

A thoroughly nice guy, but, sorry peeps, he ain't for sale!!!! He's way too precious.
 
Handsome bay Belgian Warmblood Gelding 16.1hh 15 years
Cuddly and loving especially when a treat is within smelling distance
Will beg, bow, do kissy faces, handstands and cartwheels for a carrot
Talented, beautiful, cheeky.
Suffers from ADHD (Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) - minus the hyperactivity when enters any arena. Favourite song- Busy doing nothing working the whole day through - trying to find lots of things not to do. Favourite pace = halt.
GSOH - Likes to have fun with new riders
Mildy OCD as gets upset if things are not in the place he expects them to be e.g poo picker 6 inches out of place. Would be great at spot the difference puzzles.
Has expensive habits - Addicted to physio's and vets.
Allergic to judges boxes. Is caviar to biting insects.

But your never having him - I love him to bits and probably would sell my house rather than sell him.
 
Cheeky 15 hands Appaloosa. Loves hacking and hunting, has lovely paces and is good at Dressage if he is in the right mood, otherwise you may as well not bother! Quite laid back in the summer but quite whizzy in the winter. A spooky pony who doesn't like drains or shiny cars. Has a fabulous buck, and has a knack of being able to buck whilst in gallop and still keep running with his front legs. :rolleyes: Also, likes to make jumping more interesting by bucking three strides away from a jump! He is a master at opening and shutting gates and can almost do it without any help. Loves attention, very greedy and loves bananas. A very good doer and is Laminitic so you have to watch his weight. Trained to bow and say please on command. Good to catch and shoe. Bad to load, clip, have mane pulled, be bathed. Can be quite stressed at times, Slight head shaker in summer so needs nosenet and needs leg wraps in winter due to getting quite stiff in cold weather when he is stabled. I know him inside out and love him to pieces so he would never be for sale, he is absolutely priceless!

Handsome Irish Sport Horse. Very good all rounder, loves his hacking. Can be quite spooky, is scared of buses, motorbikes and other big traffic. Gets very fresh during the winter and sometimes decides he would like to have a good gallop round the school whilst you're riding to get rid of some energy. He is also priceless as he is a lovely boy and would never be for sale.

Approx 11.2 hands Welsh Mountain pony possibly in thirties. Isn't ridden and is just a pet, can be quite timid with people she doesn't know. Has a very distinctive whinny and sounds like a llama! :p Never for sale as part of the family!
 
LOL - some good ones.

Mine:

Chestnut mare 1: 15.2 TB - Mardy as they come - had her 6 years and still struggling to gain some consistency. On a good day - brilliant at dressage - on a bad day - leave her alone! If you can offer her the life of luxury and not much work (like she has now) you may have her but she is inseparable from :

Chestnut mare 2: 16hh - bred from Carnavel Drum lines - super talented - lovely natured and comes with mare 1 - the catch - you have to get mare 2 in the box / trailer and actually get her down the drive without her flipping her lid (and almost your trailer)!

Chestnut 3 : a lovely gelding that raced, evented - now bringing back my confidence. Will carry your toddler, your granny, jump the moon for you. Grumpy at coming in time and def leader of any pack (will use his back feet to create domination). You cannot afford this horse - actually I couldnt sell him I have him on loan :)
 
My horse in my siggy is pretty darn perfect I'd say! Nothing bad to say about him - maybe just that he's grey so is hard to keep clean...!

My other two:

Shetland who hates people, or anything bigger than herself. Likes to park herself in any doorway or room she's able to get into (tack room / feed room / rug room etc.) and then refuse to move when asked. Will knee you in the face if you sit on the floor to speak to her (ever since a failed attempt about 10 years ago when I spent a week trying to teach her to "beg" for on demand, didn't work).

13.2hh Welsh x Highland - Looks like butter wouldn't melt but is extremely crafting and clever. Gets tangled his rugs frequently - often escaping them entirely then going back to walk and wee all over them in the mud. Is immune to electric fences - literally walks through them. Also likes you to pretend he's awfully safe and old, but then tanks off with me if ever I venture onto him and wacks me off every low slung branch possible - pretty embarassing being galloped off with by a little pony in his 20's...
 
Meg
15hh on the tips of tip toes, 14 year old dark brown TB x Welsh D mare with a few white flecks throughout her coat. She is opinionated and loudly speaks her mind. She doesn't like being tied up and hates the vet. She hacks out well alone and in company, but has got very good spook-ability at wrong coloured leaves and the odd stone. Brilliant in traffic, but doesn't approve of car towing rattly trailers too close to her bum. Will jump the moon for you if you asked, and loves to hunt, so much so she will think about hunting for the rest of winter and won't eat up all her food. She loves the outdoor life, and would get in a big sulk if you should even consider putting her into a stable. She can do dressage very well, but would rather not thanks. Loads like a lamb, unloads like a bull. Good with the farrier when polos are on hand, but don't you dare try to pull her mane.... I said she was opinionated!
Price = Priceless

Juno
14hh dun arab x welsh type mare. 23 years old. Now retired to the field after a hard life as a pony club pony. Has hunted, loved it but she has broken down twice and has thick front legs. Dispite this she is sound in walk and gentle trot around the field. Has arthritis in hocks. Likes the outdoor life and can stand on guard looking out for hot air balloons. Enjoys her companion duties.
Price = worth her wieght in gold, never to leave the farm again. Will be much missed when its her time.

Penny
10.3hh and growing fast New Forest 7 month old filly foal. Totally cool little thing, loves a fuss, good to lead and handle. Yet to wear a rug. Will be grey. Moves with elegance, speed and the odd high tail carriage! High hopes for her in the pony club area.
Price = currently priceless!!
 
Samba 8yo bay welsh x hackney 14.1hh nutter. Takes a while to bond but once she has shes a loving pony. Good to catch. Horrible to tie up. Cant tie up to rug. Good with farrier as long as you cold shoe. Good to pick up feet except near hind. Fairly bombproof hack, will only go in the front or she may try to kill the horse in front. Proven broodmare, good mum. Good fun horse for someone with a bit of guts and knowledge.
Price = never to be sold, no ones stupid enough to buy her

Toffee 17year old welsh x nf 14.1hh absulote sweet heart. Has sweet itch so requires rug most of the time, will itch on what she can find. Brilliant with kids, has a habit of taking novice riders home if gets bored :D Arthritic so on supplements but can hack walk trot and canter. If you give her bute she can gallop but not very often. Most likely to find dragons in drains, beer cans, street signs, bus shelters. Would suit a experienced someone looking for a bouncy but safe hack.

Price=If you can get through mum, my best friend and my sister you can have her.
 
blitznbobs said:
You want to ride him sometime?? (you're not far from me) R U any good?? :)

Vx
Click to expand...

I would love the chance to ride something of that level!!

I am a decent rider ( I think :o:o ) I have ridden at prelim and nivice with my two. Currently starting to ride an elementary horse and hopefully do some affiliated comps on him. Have ridden at BRC dressage champs and Dreby house regional champs withmy mare ( in my sig )

Whereabouts are you? PM me if you like.

Emily
 
Hahaha Love this topic!

20 Yr old British WB Gelding by Didi Grade B showjumper with winnings of around £2000. Absolute angel to handle but like a ferrari being driven by a 17yr old joyrider in the saddle! Requires 4 times the amount of rugs anyone else on the yard does as he's such a poof! Costs an arm and a leg to feed and shoe but well worth every penny. Will jump ANYTHING he's pointed at (one previous professional rider of his once said "he'd jump the bloody houses of parliament if only he was asked"), schools very well on the flat and capable of producing some very good scores at Dressage. 10000% bombproof in traffic but crisp packets, wheelie bins, silver cars and random leaves are horse eating monsters sent from the underworld. Would make ideal Circus horse due to his aptitude for tricks.....his repetoire includes Handstands (vertical bucks), Bear Hugs (rearing) and saying 'please' repeatedly with his foreleg. Loads and travels like a dream but will not let clippers within a 2 foot radius.....To me....Priceless!

16yr old Welsh Sec D Gelding, perfect in every way and has quite honestly in the 13 years I've owned him, very very rarely put a foot wrong. He does however love food more than anything or anyone in the world! Again Priceless!
 
4 year old warmblood x... 15.2hh

Safe, sain and only ever wants to please..

Very good dressage prospect, pops small jumps, just green but always tries her little heart out :)

I cant say a bad word about her......................... :)
 
Bay gelding of indeterminate breeding, 14.1 hands high, 14.2 hands wide. Probably between 8--10 yo. Excellent ground manners, good with trimmer, loading, etc (will remove and swallow large buttons, however). Generally unfazed by traffic and blue tractors with spiky attachments, but worried by misplaced branches and baby birds. Spectacular spooks, spins, and shoulder-drops. 0--60 in 3 secs when panicked; otherwise, will refuse to move forward off leg. Has a magical white triangle on his nose that makes any person instantly forget his faults.
 
8year old TB Ginger mare.

Exactly what it says on the tin, moody, grumpy & highly strung!.
When in a mood, shes the devil i swear, and an angel when shes wants to be. Is the best ive ever sat on - when in a good mood. (Getting alot better now) A devil if you catch her in a bad mood. Loves routine, even a minute late, she will make you pay by chucking her rugs everywhere & ruining her stable.

Loves hacking, can go out & not look at anything on her own, with company spooks at everything if shes in the wrong company or is in a bad mood. Basicly, when she feels like it.

Will jump anything, absolutly loves it, dressage her weak point, but suprizingly this is what
she is best at when she enagages and actually works, instead of having a strop.

Saying all that, i could never sell her, i love her to pieces & is the best thing ive ever sat on, hopefully do some prelim next year & low level jumping things....& in a few years go on to have a foal :)
 
Harvey - 2yo appaloosa to make 15.2
Well marked, well put together opinionated gelding. Enjoys kisses with teeth. 90% in traffic (other 10% enjoys double barrelling passing taxis). Stressy. Dislikes being stabled unless constantly next to something, removal of the something will result in hysterics accompanied by loose poos. Thrives living out, though prone to rain scald. Jumps 4ft electric fences for fun, but when faced with a pole on the floor will have a paddy.
Shows beautifully and always placed, though has an untamable feed rage, its always better to be at the front end when feeding Harvey. Failiure to do this will result in a swift double barrell in the face. Otherwise a complete gentleman, enjoys being groomed and is 100% for the farrier & vet... as long as you can keep him from giving them one of his kisses with teeth.

Bonnie - 9yo 13hh Welsh D x Exmoor rescue mare.
Suitable first pony. Dislikes being groomed, will not pick back feet up, hates the farrier, frightened of grids. Worried by short men and people who move quickly. Bonnie jumps like stink......when shes not putting in a dirty stop or launching you out of the side door. Loves hacking, sometimes so much mounting can be an issue, a good loose school beforehand can help otherwise she can get over excited and rear a bit. Good on the road but occasionally worried by the traffic.. Loads well and travels like a pro. Can only be caught in the field if your a tall slim 16yo girl called Hannah, nobody else in the world will do. Lives on fresh air, green as a green thing, has been starved in the past so will eat everything like she may never get it again.

Winnie - 19yo 16hh TB ex racer turned eventer turned broodmare, now retired.
A lady of simple pleasures, Winnie likes watching the world go by with her door wide open and not even the slightest desire to leave her stable. Dislikes being taken for walks down the road, much prefers taking the handler for a drag and piaffing all the way. Looks 19 but behaves like a 4yo when out. Loves shreddies (yes, shreddies), has been a brilliant mum to 4 boys and has tiny pony ears that go fluffier than the rest of her body in winter. Has grumpy days when nobody is permitted to kiss her, or to do up her rug without pulling faces and snapping at thin air. Enjoys rolling in wet sand more than anything. Very good to take to shows, though turns into a raving lunatic when travel boots are put on before leaving.. its best to leave them off to give her the element of surprise and to save you a black eye.

Otti - 6 month old DWB x TB colt to make 16.2/3
Otti likes to sleep, eat, poo and shout. Gives fantastic kisses, loves scratches and bucking. Will confuse you for a foal and wrestle you into a headlock if allowed. Will one day make a super eventer, if he doesnt break his legs running through electric fences, which is another of his favourite past times.
 
Last edited:
16.2 grey TB mare, 16 years and acts every one of them, has been known to be sound, sometimes for days at a time. Hacks out in company only but likes to go first when she feels like it. Bad doer, drops weight at first hint of autumn so good for Halloween skeleton. Bites and kicks. Dishes all round so requires boots.
Comes with numerous foot problems. High withers so impossible to find tack for.
Unfortunately not for sale as very much loved in present home!

15.1 coloured Irish cob. 21 years old but still a little to enthusiastic. Has hunted and does remember this - usually in the in hand classes at local show so needs body builder to hold or enthusiastic skier. No brakes or steering when ridden, comes with pair of decorative reins to give impression of professionalism.
Sweet tempered, unless he is in a bad mood. Can be a little aggressive over food. Good doer - comes with three widths of rug. Straight moving. Three good paces halt, gallop and stroll.
Can jump - but only from gallop and generally prefers to see how sturdy obstacles are before making the effort.
Not for sale either as also very well loved :D
 
12.2 Welsh sec B mare, 14 years old, chestnut
Lovely, well mannered, perfect lead rein pony. Absolute star on roads and where ever you decide to take her. Not spooky or nappy. Not a fan of stables so needs to live out. All year. Takes care of any little child sat on her or near her, but if you have an inkling of how to ride, do not canter or you'll be thinking you're on a racehorse - she may or may not stop or turn.
Oh yeah, if you can catch her, we'll talk money. :rolleyes:
 
For my old boy :)

16hh pure bred Red bay arab.

Doesnt mind lorries, busses or tractors. but believes that piece of grass facing the wrong way is out to get him. Doesnt like it when the road changes colour - even to a different shade of grey.

Wont walk through puddles - god forbid he would get his toes wet - but will happily bound into the sea or a river up to his neck.

When turned out will stand in the dryest patch of the field with a look of disgust on his face, refusing to get his legs dirty.

clearly thinks everything and everybody is inferior to him. except me - eventually.

could jump the moon if you pointed him to it - and if you held on tight. likes to challenge his riders - except when they are 10 year old autistic girls. only then will he stand good as gold and do what he is told.

likes chewing on rings with big diamonds or stones. must have his can of guiness on a Sunday or life isnt worth living. destests those 'lik it things' and prefers to knock them off the wall so hard the sweet breaks and he can eat it all in one go.

wont bridle, catch, stand still, or go anywhere without me.

so therefore - he's priceless.

R.I.P lad x
 
Circus Potential?? 15.1 2 yr old Princess Filly. Likes things to be her own way, likes being covered in mud and is a tom boy. Great to play about with until she's had enough. Will make a top competition horse judging by how she clears 5ft post and rail. Loves having her feet/legs washed if she can stamp around splashing and then drink from the hose. Also loves to eat. Would make impressive circus beastie......

These are supposed to be comical :)
 
15.3hh 14yo grey Irish mare. Missing part of one tendon - can cause a problem. Walks, trots with persuasion, capable of cantering but will either result in her tendon breaking or you dying of exhaustion. Teeth all in tact but can only be fed soup - chokes, colics, bleeds everywhere. Unidentified lump on neck (we're hoping it's nothing bad). Melanomas. Possible sarcoid (again, sticking heads in sand and ignoring so don't ask us about it!) Don't try her if you want to ride her properly - she will only be ridden badly, refuses on grounds of conformation to work in any outline. Will only live out (unless you can afford to clear her bedding out every day as she pees a lake in 12 hours). Either a good doer or poor, depending on her mood.

On the plus side, is the MOST saintly, safe horse you will ever find. Would take care of anyone. Easy to do anything with, loads, confident with anything and everything, stands still un-restrained, absolute sweetheart and wouldn't hurt a fly. Worth her (considerable) weight in gold. Hence, substantial price required for this old crock.

In fact, ignore all that - I couldn't sell her anyway :)
 
Ebony:
tb x welsh 15.1hh, arthiris in hocks currently Jumping bsja bn and disc could probally got to nc or 1.15s, on a good day, you have might have some control, doesnt understand why riders wants control when jumping so just gallops around like headless chicken, nice to hack traffic no bother but if a blade of grace or leaf moves then you changes of staying on are limited :p goes crazy if another horse leaves the field, and if she doesnt want to say out she will bring herself so saves you a job just leave the stable door open, seems to been great mates with the vets as it seems their always coming out to see her, if theres a huge lake outisde her stable dont worry its hasnt been flooded shes has just wee'd, have fun :)
price: priceless :p
 
Honey Herself
16hh 12yr old ISH, hunted in ireland, england and scotland, perfect hunter - buckle of the rein all day, soft mouth, fun forward ride but not strong, floating paces, huge jump, won in ridden hunter, working hunter, sj, xc, jx, placed ODE, DR, Riding horse, ideal all rounder, lives out 24/7 365 on fresh air, never looses a shoe, hacks alone or in company, never sick or sorry
:)


now the bad bits:
you can't have a stirrup cup passed to you on her at hunt meet - she will think its trying to kill her :rolleyes:
can only be bridled by taking it apart - very headshy even after 2 years of coaxing (and a BIG set back recently when she cut her ear - gone back to square one :()
needs M2M saddles due to high withers and croup high
cold backed
headshaker
picks at mixes & can't have alfalfa as sends her loopy
needs sedation to clip
needs sensitive farrier
jumps high but dangles legs
not very bold - if rider has any worries she kindly stops and says 'don't worry we don't have to' - OR - if she's worried has a horrid last minute run out
windgalls
splints
far too honest about your riding - esp schooling etc :rolleyes: (but by golly its taught me to ride ;))

price: pricesless - she's a madam but she's MY madam ;)

ETA - God i just realised i've made her sound horrific :eek: but proves that if you work with her excentricities she's a good horse under the issues :)
 
Last edited:
This is rather a good thread!

Mine would read (honestly):
15.1 1/2 MW irish show cob gelding, 11yrs old, although acts like a 2 yr old hacking alone. Brilliant in the school, very sensitive to legs (my legs) but take micky with everyone else, goes slow, doesnt particularly listen! Numerous wins at local showing. Hates showjumping...would rather run through them :) Big bold XC, if the jumps arent scary (if they are scary...you'd go over the handle bars..unless you have sticky bum jods!)
Hates loading! Will not load into a trailer at all.
Attention seeking door kicker!
Good out hacking in company, terrified baby alone. Everything scares him, bags, people jumping out of bushes, and of course LEAVES! Like to stop still, back up, and spin :)
Loves kids, dogs, cats, not so keen on foals LOL!
 
16hh (with shoes, on tip-toes!) 8 year old piebald gelding. Quirky and talented. Produced by amateur. Top 6 placings BE90 and 100, ready to go novice next season. Won and placed up to elem dressage (unaff and BD) and unaff SJ up to 1.05m (not tried any bigger yet!). VERY bold XC, will jump anything from anywhere whether you want to or not! Has hunted. Perfect gentleman to hack, but if you push the go button there's no turning back! Does lots of bouncing when excited, easily shows your flaws as a jockey and is a saddle fitting nightmare! Rubbish front feet, cant tolerate cereals and is allergic to EVERYTHING ;) Doesnt like staying in and kicks seven shades of **** out his door. Can be grumpy at first but once he trusts you is like a big dog :)

And I wouldnt swap him for the world! ;)
 
Starla la la - It was previously a nice horse. Since being turned away for the winter, it now think's it's ferral. Be sure to watch for flying back legs when accidently going within 10 feet of her :eek: Sold complete with protective headwear and shin pads.

Brodie - Fat, happy and useless. Would suit a business minded home, who will bring out his full potential - His lawn mowing rates are very reasonable.

Kit - The only horse of any use to me what so ever, and I can't sell her as she isn't mine :p
 
Alderbrook India - Ignore the fancy name, it means nothing, I made it up.

16.1hh, 5yo, Bay Mare. Irish TB (because a regular one just isnt quite the same??!!)

Rebacked last year by competent novice so corners have been cut producing some bad habits. Great to hose, brush, load, feed treats to. Bad to lead, ride, clip. Has done ODE/SJ/XC/Hunting and can jump albeit at an uncontrollable speed (dont worry though she wont knock many down) Likes schooling and very rarely rears but she will come with neck strap already attached for when she does! Bags of talent but I fear a few of the bags have holes in :S

Will take sensible offers or exchange for something that can have more than one day off and not want to kill me!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top