A Note to eventing lot about to invade BS

Very amusing and every point is true (said by someone who does BS and BE)!

Is it bad that I never consider 4 faults a good round (with anything over 4 faults I consider being a horrific round)? Only a clear is good in my books, god maybe I'm more BS than BE nowadays! And as for the steady clear thing in the jump off, nahh never bother with that either! I'm always in it to win it or else whats the point, BS is too expensive to not try!
 
Try not to gawp at the amount of slap some riders wear (females that is) or the length and complexity of decoration on the fingernails.
 
You forgot that all females whether riders or SJ mummys must wear a bronzer 2 shades darker than their natural skin colour and said bronzer must rub off attractively onto your show shirt collar throughout your round!
 
There's two ways of looking at the `going in eventing gear theory`

If you turn up in your tweed, jockey skull and 5 point breastplate and have a horror of a round then that's ok `cos eventers can't showjump anyway` and no one will take much notice of you.

If however you turn up in aforementioned eventing get up, do a double clear and win some money then surely you must have some kind of wonder horse.

And yes, they do warm up on one rein only, have found this out to my cost!
 
Fortunately one thing that isn't required at BS is a ridiculous nickname that all your school chums used to call you, horse teeth, an army of fans wearing tweed and dubarrys and hats that don't meet any safety requirements ;)

Ah, and a proper warm cafe with bar that you can sit in way from the rain, ground that's neither too wet/dry/sticky/rutted - eventers truly do have the most amount of excuses as to why they have a cricket score ;)
 
If you choose not to plait the mane (as well as not plaiting the forelock) then it is de rigeur to use a pair of scissors to cut the mane off at a length of about 6".

If you do not already have a blonde ponytail [see page one] then hair extensions are essential.

Remember your jacket should be very very short (like a frill) so that your tight white clad bum may be on display at all times.

If you cannot remember the course, do not under any circumstances ask a fellow competitor, for they will be sure to tell you the wrong one.

And finally, re the jacket/no jacket in hot weather, does anyone remember Sylvia Barnes?? Woe betide anyone who entered the ring without a jacket in her day, however high the temperature :D
 
Ha ha!!

I know now why no-one talked to me when I went to Wales and West for 3 days a couple of weeks ago.

I was on my own without any form of groom or assistant, warmed up fully in trot (on both reins!!) before jumping and didn't jump anything massive.

To make matter worse I was wearing a hairnet and my horse has a 5 point breastplate (with sheepskin - how common of me!) and I have no bling.

To make matters worse I was placed in two classes.....

I thought I didn't really fit in....but know I know!!
 
PM, after a move over to the dark side of polocrosse it's been a few years since I've been on the BS scene, I seem to remember though that it was a requirement for any rider not on a horse to have a puppy wedged firmly under one arm (always a small toy breed), is this still the case?
 
suzi said:
Ha ha!!

I know now why no-one talked to me when I went to Wales and West for 3 days a couple of weeks ago.

I was on my own without any form of groom or assistant, warmed up fully in trot (on both reins!!) before jumping and didn't jump anything massive.

To make matter worse I was wearing a hairnet and my horse has a 5 point breastplate (with sheepskin - how common of me!) and I have no bling.

To make matters worse I was placed in two classes.....

I thought I didn't really fit in....but know I know!!
Click to expand...

And i forgot to mention the jocket skull cap not 'proper' hat.....after a year BS you'd think I'd learn!
 
This thread has made my day! I am an eventer normally, although have dabbled in BD, and had my first BS experience on Wed. I did bottle wearing my tweed but afraid still stuck out like a sore thumb, I needed this thread sooner:rolleyes:
My little event pony looked slightly out of place in her 5 point breastplate and cantering around neatly and me in my jockey skull with no long flowing hair or make up:eek:Anyway, she did me proud and jumped a lovely double clear, nice and sensible in the jump off after the commentator had announced more than a few times I was a 'ticketed' rider!! Will take into account all your comments and hopefully blend in a bit better next time!:)
 
What a brilliant thread PM. :):) Of course when cantering round the collecting ring under NO circumstances check if anyone is jumping the practice fence as you decide to take a short cut across the arena :cool::cool: And Rowreach I remember Sylvia and Gerald Barnes very well and you are so right !
 
Just thought of another, it's been a while since i've BS

When warming up, prior to jumping your chosen practice fence it is correct to holla either cross/upright/spread at top of your voice and then career at speed to said fence, regardless of whether anyone else is jumping/just about to jump it.

Whilst waiting for your turn (generally the done thing is to do this when there is 10 or so left to jump before you're in, the 10 others before you will also be doing this) you must stand by the entrance to the ring and give the current competitor evils. If competitor goes clear you pass a 'the horse carried her round' remark to the other competitors watching, should it fault you half heartidly say 'shame' followed by cheeky smirk...cos it's alright if you do one of those :p ....see! ;)

Oh and gloves are a no no, otherwise how is one supposed to show of one's perfectly manicured nails?
 
Brilliant, haven't show jumped for about 10 years but could described most of it back then other than the texting (didn't exist) and the make up.

Over the winter used to like seeing eventers turn up to show jump (easily identified by tweed jacket and stock and breastplate (horse not rider)), as made up the numbers so more prizes but not very likely to go fast in jump off.

Those were the days.
 
Personally I think it's important to not be shocked that people actually compete whilst being overweight and middle aged. Often it is compulsory to also smoke and be knackered after the first round. The combination of middle aged spread and blinding white breeches isn't an ideal sight too early on a Sunday morning, but it hasn't stopped anyone competing Internationally.
 
Also if you dare not to be a member and enter on a ticket (:eek:) they will announce this about 5 times and make you feel like you really should just go home! :o
 
Is it true that showjumpers are banned from useing a simple snaffle ? you have to use a long shanked gold bit with rope noseband and a foriegn name.And I think that sheepskin saddle pads are now compulsary?
 
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