A poo in my field!!

poiuytrewq · 27 February 2017

Sorry to be gross firstly but o/h was down by a bit of pony proofing in our spring field and he found a poo!
He made me (and today a work colleague!) go look at it!
It's not a grass eaters poo, it's like a giant dog turd 💩
I mean giant, about as wide as at least a coffee mug and a foot long x2
What the hell?!!
Answers on a post card

LD&S · 27 February 2017

A wolf?

What about a wild cat?

Maybe you should offer wildlife tours lol

Snuffles · 27 February 2017

Big dogs do big poos especially if theyve not been for some time ! A quick sniff would probably have identified if it was dog poo

Darbs · 27 February 2017

Now this is particularly grim, but you did start this conversation.... that poo could be human.

About 25 years ago I was fishing with a friend of mine who was quite a big bloke.

He wandered off into the tree's and after about half an hour came back saying that I needed to come and look at something. He had done a poo that was about the width of my arm and almost as long! I can still remember it to this day. I cringe at it.

This same guy could be particularly rough. One night in our local pub he came in with a match box. He showed us the contents and we had to guess what it was. It looked like a very small furry animal that had died and started to decompose. It turned out to be the old fluff he had pulled out of his bellybutton in the bath!

(There was also another incident in the same pub with him wearing some very tight shorts but I can't bring myself to recount that on here!)

poiuytrewq · 27 February 2017

Snuffles said:
Big dogs do big poos especially if theyve not been for some time ! A quick sniff would probably have identified if it was dog poo

Believe me no dog poo's this big

Arrggghh now my first though when he told me was that some dirty sod had taken a dump in my horses field as its a very tucked away little corner surrounded by tree's (purposely to provide good shelter)
but then i saw it and my head cant comprehend a person did that but if you know otherwise (oh god, poor you!!! How did you not throw up!)

ewwww, I need to go move it......

Darbs · 27 February 2017

Don't underestimate how disgusting some people can be!

A clothes peg for your nose and a spade. Dig a hole out of the way and bury the bugg*r.

rhylis · 27 February 2017

Could it be the work of a badger? I've seen some epic badger turds in the corn field near us.

cowgirl16 · 27 February 2017

This thread reminded me of a time years back when I was doing some cleaning at an old people's home. One of the gang was in one of the bathrooms, when she let out a shriek. She yelled out to us to come and see. We could not believe our eyes. Lying in the bowl of the loo was the biggest poo you had ever seen! How in God's name could an (old) person pass something like that?!!! After the hysteria died down, our supervisor told us that often these elderly people only went no. 2's once a fortnight, and it was not uncommon! I still have nightmares to this day!

KrujaaLass · 27 February 2017

Reminds me of the time my friend who was cleaner in mental hospital found one in loo. Said she halfed and quartered it and it still would not flush away. Had to laugh

tallyho! · 27 February 2017

Darbs said:
Now this is particularly grim, but you did start this conversation.... that poo could be human.

About 25 years ago I was fishing with a friend of mine who was quite a big bloke.

He wandered off into the tree's and after about half an hour came back saying that I needed to come and look at something. He had done a poo that was about the width of my arm and almost as long! I can still remember it to this day. I cringe at it.

This same guy could be particularly rough. One night in our local pub he came in with a match box. He showed us the contents and we had to guess what it was. It looked like a very small furry animal that had died and started to decompose. It turned out to be the old fluff he had pulled out of his bellybutton in the bath!

(There was also another incident in the same pub with him wearing some very tight shorts but I can't bring myself to recount that on here!)

There's a post I can never UNREAD!!!!!

(excuse me while I go and throw up)

Pinkvboots · 27 February 2017

my oh used to own a gym in East London and he and his business partner were sick of piles being left on the pavement outside as a few people had walked it in, they figured it was people nearby walking there dogs so they got there early one morning to try and catch the culprits, they were totally horrified to see what looked like a Romanian woman lift up her skirt and relieve herself of the solid kind in the middle of the pavement gross!!

Tyssandi · 27 February 2017

poiuytrewq said:
Sorry to be gross firstly but o/h was down by a bit of pony proofing in our spring field and he found a poo!
He made me (and today a work colleague!) go look at it!
It's not a grass eaters poo, it's like a giant dog turd &#55357;&#56489;
I mean giant, about as wide as at least a coffee mug and a foot long x2
What the hell?!!
Answers on a post card

gross

dog/fox/human can dogs get to your field via a footpath running up the side?? I would either chuck it on your muck hill and bury it or lob it far into the bushes.

AdorableAlice · 27 February 2017

A friend used to work as cabin crew on Qatar Airlines. Apparently the Arabs don't use the toilet, they use the floor.

TheresaW · 27 February 2017

Just after Christmas, outside the gates at work, someone had a left a Christmassy biscuit tin. A couple of the lads dared each other to open it. Inside was a human looking poo, complete with tissue!

WelshD · 27 February 2017

After having our work toilet annihilated a few times I can confirm that there is nothing as huge as a lorry driver's poo

poiuytrewq · 27 February 2017

&#55358;&#56610;&#55357;&#56887;

Some of these stories

hobo · 27 February 2017

This post has resulting in me crying, I love HHO !!!

shirl62 · 27 February 2017

I had bought a used motorhome privately and when I began to look into the workings of the toilet .I pulled out the receptacle for collection of the 'human waste'. On unscrewing the container my stomach started heaving....I dropped the container and just made it to the bathroom and duly vomited....I will never let anyone poo in my toilet in the MH...

Shirl

Clare85 · 27 February 2017

Could easily be a human poo.

We had a neighbour lay out a massive one (and I mean mahoosive) under our front doormat once. That was a fun mess to clear up! Bleugh!

tallyho! · 27 February 2017

how do you unfollow a thread?

holeymoley · 27 February 2017

I'm obviously rather naive haha I'm absolutely astonished at some of these replies &#55357;&#56887;&#55357;&#56887;&#55358;&#56610;

sky1000 · 27 February 2017

I would love to know what it was. It is sounding, however, as if it was probably some horrible human rather than anything more interesting.

dizzyneddy · 27 February 2017

holeymoley said:
I'm obviously rather naive haha I'm absolutely astonished at some of these replies ������

^
l second this &#55357;&#56854;

Dubsie · 27 February 2017

Clare85 said:
Could easily be a human poo.

We had a neighbour lay out a massive one (and I mean mahoosive) under our front doormat once. That was a fun mess to clear up! Bleugh!

Why?

Pedantic · 27 February 2017

And one time....at Band Camp....

Redders · 27 February 2017

I found a human poo in the middle hedgeline (two fields, far from road) half on one of my jump barrels and half on the floor beside it (it had obviously slid down) and kitchen roll used for the purpose of wiping. Grim.

Clare85 · 27 February 2017

Dubsie said:
Why?

Because he was an alcoholic and took a disliking to us because we had to ask him several times to turn his music down in the early hours of the morning so we could get some sleep. Not a very nice human being

Hoof_Prints · 27 February 2017

This thread cannot be unseen , haha!

holeymoley · 27 February 2017

I honestly wouldn't be able to tell you the difference as to whether it was a large dog or a human . I suppose the tissue would give it away . We have a long track to drive up to get to our yard which is also used by dog walkers up to a point , and is kind of a 'pull in' point in the road . There was a rather large suspicious looking poo a few months ago and it has seem to take ages to disappear ! Who knows what could've done that , id like to think a very large dog as opposed to a human &#55357;&#56885;.

Actually, I said I was naive further up but I suppose the human race doesn't cease to disgust me , I heard from a member of staff that as they drove into the work car park there was a person clear as day, trousers down , full moon doing a number two at the car park exit . Why they felt the need to go there is beyond me , toilets were 100yards away , or the other 3 sides of the car park are surrounded by trees and bushes !

Darbs · 27 February 2017

I would guess that when the OP started this thread, they had no idea the direction it would take or the stories that would be recounted!

A poo in my field!!

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