A what to do re training

[teapot]

Feeling a bit disheartened after the last two weeks of lessons/training so need to vent.

Short background: confidence has always been a issue, have only really been able to progress since June last year and obviously progression massively interrupted by Covid. No horse of my own to ride, and haven't ridden at work as like to keep things seperate. Needless to say June to May 21 I have basically relearnt how to ride in those available eight months. Went back early April with a bit of all round confidence - settled in new job, had taken the highest level BHS exam you can for management and passed it easily - health is being a bit hit and miss and some days I physically can't give 100% which is super hard doing back to back with no break. Lessons had been going well however despite the dead legs.

Two weeks ago, first lesson went super well, had a laugh (we're well known for the laughter and mutual banter/sarcasm). My second horse turned up and moment I saw his face both my heart and head sank. First confidence wobble in a long time, not helped by some piss-taking from another coach (who I do not know, had never spoken to them from across the arena) which while I may have laughed off, underneath I did and have taken quite personally given the content. So was onto a hiding to nothing quite quickly. Warmed horse up and usually my second lesson is a schooling under supervision exercise - where I lack experience the most so understand it as a lesson plan 100% - but said I needed some help. If my confidence goes, it's like a light switch, on or off. Nothing I can do to dim/brighten it, just literally on and off. Battled through. Brain had an utter moment ten mins from end, got utterly confused, and ended up getting bluntly shouted at, as though I was a mate, not a client. It wasn't even what I call an arse kicking, simply someone pissed off which they actually said, it wasn't constructive in any way. I'm sure it is piss offing to have someone ride the harder horse super well and then fall apart on the easier one. As I say, no control over it and confidence while better isn't deep rooted, yet.

Missed last week as coach wasn't available, it's quite common that you miss weeks and don't actually know why, nor ever offered cover.

Went up yesterday, felt a little awkward and I had been worrying re what the dynamic was like. Got on my first horse, warmed up, the piss taking started on same topic as two weeks ago so politley said I didnt take too kindly to what had happened (if someone did that to one of my clients at work, it would be taken seriously!) and the response was that I was being petty. Tried explaining but got shut down, and lesson was fairly tame, not in any way our usual friendly selves. Same old lesson plan for same horse I've had five times out of six weeks. Second horse turns up - got on it because he was there. Was a horse who is a max Stage 2 horse and have said before I ride there to experience the better ones. Spent most of lesson on one dull exercise, little bit of teaching input and achieved a vague intro level outline as all he was capable of. Learnt the sum total of naff all.

The long term training aim is my Stage 4 flat - so elementary level, lateral work, changes etc. I understand that I need a lot of the discipline and nitty gritty accuracy work, but I'm getting bored of turning up to the same lesson plan (it'll be a variation of bend or suppling work which I do get are the backbone of everything we do but variation would be nice) and then being left alone for my second. While I appreciate my hands probably aren't good enough to do some of the double work, it would be nice to actually experience lateral work on good horses (far cry from attempting shoulder in on a crock rs horse), or having a play with changes, or pole work, or heck anything that gets my brain in gear. The more I do, the better I ride, the better my confidence gets.

I know there have been some business changes, so the place feels different, and there's a level of complacency creeping in. I've had a number of lessons start late because my horse hasn't been ready, or so badly tacked up upon arrival at arena I have stripped it and started again (meanwhile the groom got given a verbal warning in front of me ) . I'm not allowed to go get it myself 5 mins before my lesson because of Covid... Two weeks ago I had to wait for the other coach's group to get on so 'we could go to the arena together' - sorry, what, we're not 5?! Their customer service is lacking, I'm missing on average lessons every other week/every week in three due to coach's unavailability and/or other things taking place, and if you dare offer an opinion, the response is basically like it or lump it/we're so popular someone will want your spaces etc.

I love my coach, I owe her a huge amount, and the horses for the most part, but I feel I'm treading water, and after her outburst, I don't feel I can say 'please can we do more?' I'm very limited by decent training locally, and I'm doing a 120mile round trip/1hr40 (or 2hrs+ on the train each way) for my lessons as it is. So do I suck it up? Brave the can of worms for fear of 'like it or lump it', or just give up entirely?

 

[Red-1]

I would look for another option.

You have a lot to offer.

Could you find a share agreement? I did when I was temporarily horseless last summer. You could then have a choice of trainer, as opposed to RS instructor.

Another option... When I did my II, I did a week residential for my care (which you have), a week for the riding, then a week for the teaching. I did the first, took the exam, the second, took the exam then the third, took the exam. Obviously, the exam couldn't be at the same place as the training at that level, except I did a long wait before the teaching and did that one at the place I had trained, but delayed.

I would not pay for the treatment that you are having.

 

[Trouper]

I think once you have had a "blip" in the relationship with an instructor the trust is never the same again. You seem to be spending a lot of time and putting a lot of effort to go somewhere which is not meeting your needs and has now set your confidence back.
As Red-1 says - time for pastures new.

 

[daydreamer]

Sounds like you need somewhere new although that sounds tricky. Can you look for a share (or two if you have time) and get lessons on them and then maybe do a residential course at some point? Also is there any chance there are some smaller establishments around that you might not have heard of? I discovered the other year there is a small yard that give lessons to clients not far from me, I have lived here for about 15 years and have never heard of it before and have never seen it advertised or listed anywhere!

 

[milliepops]

I would look for another option.

You have a lot to offer.

Could you find a share agreement? I did when I was temporarily horseless last summer. You could then have a choice of trainer, as opposed to RS instructor.

Another option... When I did my II, I did a week residential for my care (which you have), a week for the riding, then a week for the teaching. I did the first, took the exam, the second, took the exam then the third, took the exam. Obviously, the exam couldn't be at the same place as the training at that level, except I did a long wait before the teaching and did that one at the place I had trained, but delayed.

I would not pay for the treatment that you are having.

this was exactly what I was going to say. you need a no-pressure way to ride in between, and I would seek out residential training somewhere better.

 

[Goldenstar]

Trainers are rarely your friend they are people whom you are friendly with because you have a common interest .
I think you have got too cosy and friendly but you accepted banter type training relationship or you can‘t you swop in and out, it also can make some seated trainers lazy .
The problem with getting to a banter type situation it makes it hard to gently indicate when your not happy with the progress of the training .
I think you are done there aren’t you so move on .
A few days at a suitable place for a assessment of where you are at with progressing towards stage four you need to honest when you book with them about your confidence problem as they have several coaches and some might be better than others at working with this .
Stage four is about getting different horses and riding each one well so you need to get over / round this confidence issue .
You and only go can have the ownership of this issue and you need to have a plan I would be looking to see a sports physiologist and see what they can offer .There are lots of things you can be trained to do to help these type of issues .
I would be looking developing systems for getting on horses that you don’t know so you follow the plan whatever you feel .
Logic would say that if you are presented with a horse at a good popular training establishment it’s not doing to be an out and out nutter .
Ask yourself what about his face set off your confidence wobble ?
Where exactly is your lack of confidence what is it about I mean really really about ?
I don’t btw expect you to answer that question on the forum .
I would try to get more horses just to ride you have your stage three you are working towards stage four there are options for getting more time on a horses back
Too much just training can lead to an institutionalised rider it might help you to get on with things on your own as well as train .

 

[teapot]

I would look for another option.

You have a lot to offer.

Could you find a share agreement? I did when I was temporarily horseless last summer. You could then have a choice of trainer, as opposed to RS instructor.

Another option... When I did my II, I did a week residential for my care (which you have), a week for the riding, then a week for the teaching. I did the first, took the exam, the second, took the exam then the third, took the exam. Obviously, the exam couldn't be at the same place as the training at that level, except I did a long wait before the teaching and did that one at the place I had trained, but delayed.

I would not pay for the treatment that you are having.

Thanks Red, residential may well be something to consider. I think from posts I've read of yours in the past, you may well not be surprised if you knew where I'm training.

I should say coach is one of the very best I've come across and I work in the industry.

I think once you have had a "blip" in the relationship with an instructor the trust is never the same again. You seem to be spending a lot of time and putting a lot of effort to go somewhere which is not meeting your needs and has now set your confidence back.
As Red-1 says - time for pastures new.

Yes, lots of effort and cost for less reward than I used to get.

Sounds like you need somewhere new although that sounds tricky. Can you look for a share (or two if you have time) and get lessons on them and then maybe do a residential course at some point? Also is there any chance there are some smaller establishments around that you might not have heard of? I discovered the other year there is a small yard that give lessons to clients not far from me, I have lived here for about 15 years and have never heard of it before and have never seen it advertised or listed anywhere!

I'm pretty hot on what's available and where, and it's limited in my area. I may just have to school something at work and get the balance right.

this was exactly what I was going to say. you need a no-pressure way to ride in between, and I would seek out residential training somewhere better.

Again residential may well be the answer, work allowing!

 

[MuddyMonster]

Is there a reason you want to get to Stage 4? Do you 'need' it for work for example. I'd be asking myself is it a realistic goal right now or are you setting yourself up for something that might not be achievable and missing out on horsey fun along the way?

Also, what are your long term goals? Is it to ride professionally? To own your own horse or something totally different. That might help you decide whether the current training is right for you or not.

If it was me, personally, I'd start looking at a share for some pressure free riding and then re-assess how I felt. Or you could mix the two - a bit less training mixed with a share. That might bring a better balance and as Goldenstar says, result in a bit more rounded approach.

I'd also hugely recommend looking at NLP and the like to help with nerves and general confidence

There's no reason why you couldn't school at a decent level with the right share horse but there's so much to learn outside of an arena with an instructor present too, that even if you don't have the same 'quality' of horse as you might have access to now, you still learn lots. Hacking for example involves so much schooling people forget about - being off the aids, being forwards, being able to ride rhymithically to conserve energy and being able to deal with unpredictability life outside an arena brings . Balancing a canter going downhill to pop some logs at the bottom of the woods, is just as valuable as balancing a canter to spiral a canter circle.

It doesn't sound like riding has been that much fun lately, which I think is a huge shame.

Even if not two pence hasn't been helpful, I hope you find some way to make it fun again

 

[LEC]

You have a really clear goal you want to achieve which is totally doable. I think you now need to break it down more on how you are going to achieve it. It sounds like you are treading water at the moment.

I think maybe you could get a bit more help with your confidence issues as sound like they are holding you back. I worked with Sally in 2019 partly as a guinea pig for some work she was doing and partly to get help on the myriad of issues I have - MindOdyssey | Sport Psychology | Andover. I found some huge benefits to it and I am a lot better at self talk but still not good enough! Jenni Winter is supposed to be very good as well.

Riding more would also help. The more I ride, the better I am. Even if its hacking down the road as a lot of schooling stuff you can do even hacking on the road.

I am not sure how many horse friends you have on Facebook but don't be afraid to shout out and ask for horses to ride/help if a share would not suit you. I have been tremendously lucky with the opportunities I have had through helping ride out in my spare time. My current two rather lovely horses came about because I had a lame horse and nothing to do or ride so put a shout on Facebook.

Not sure where you live but I have a lovely horse trained to Ele/Medium level doing very little at the moment because she has suspensory issues so I give her a low pressure life mostly hacking but perfectly capable of showing someone the ropes with a bit of schooling.

Maybe try and go to some local dressage competitions at medium and above so you can watch people ride. I find watching so incredibly helpful. Especially the warm up.

I appreciate you want to keep work separate - but ultimately you looking to gain higher levels of qualification to help you at work and invest in yourself. I don't think I would discount it if there are opportunities.

 

[ihatework]

Echo Muddy Monster - what is the driver behind the stage 4 goal?

 

[teapot]

Trainers are rarely your friend they are people whom you are friendly with because you have a common interest .I think you have got too cosy and friendly but you accepted banter type training relationship or you can‘t you swop in and out, it also can make some seated trainers lazy The problem with getting to a banter type situation it makes it hard to gently indicate when your not happy with the progress of the training .I think you are done there aren’t you so move on .

To be fair, I've ridden in group training (mix of clients and staff) with them and it is no different. I've watched other privates, again no diifferent.

A few days at a suitable place for a assessment of where you are at with progressing towards stage four you need to honest when you book with them about your confidence problem as they have several coaches and some might be better than others at working with this .

They are few and far between though centre wise, hence why I'm doing the distance.

Stage four is about getting different horses and riding each one well so you need to get over / round this confidence issue .
You and only go can have the ownership of this issue and you need to have a plan I would be looking to see a sports physiologist and see what they can offer .There are lots of things you can be trained to do to help these type of issues .
I would be looking developing systems for getting on horses that you don’t know so you follow the plan whatever you feel .
Logic would say that if you are presented with a horse at a good popular training establishment it’s not doing to be an out and out nutter .
Ask yourself what about his face set off your confidence wobble ?
Where exactly is your lack of confidence what is it about I mean really really about ?
I don’t btw expect you to answer that question on the forum .
I would try to get more horses just to ride you have your stage three you are working towards stage four there are options for getting more time on a horses back
Too much just training can lead to an institutionalised rider it might help you to get on with things on your own as well as train .

Short answer re horse - never quite got his buttons, nor got a decent tune out of him, don't trust him. Short answer re confidence - self belief ruined by years of an old boss laying into me.

 

[teapot]

Is there a reason you want to get to Stage 4? Do you 'need' it for work for example. I'd be asking myself is it a realistic goal right now or are you setting yourself up for something that might not be achievable and missing out on horsey fun along the way?

Also, what are your long term goals? Is it to ride professionally? To own your own horse or something totally different. That might help you decide whether the current training is right for you or not.

If it was me, personally, I'd start looking at a share for some pressure free riding and then re-assess how I felt. Or you could mix the two - a bit less training mixed with a share. That might bring a better balance and as Goldenstar says, result in a bit more rounded approach.

I'd also hugely recommend looking at NLP and the like to help with nerves and general confidence

There's no reason why you couldn't school at a decent level with the right share horse but there's so much to learn outside of an arena with an instructor present too, that even if you don't have the same 'quality' of horse as you might have access to now, you still learn lots. Hacking for example involves so much schooling people forget about - being off the aids, being forwards, being able to ride rhymithically to conserve energy and being able to deal with unpredictability life outside an arena brings . Balancing a canter going downhill to pop some logs at the bottom of the woods, is just as valuable as balancing a canter to spiral a canter circle.

It doesn't sound like riding has been that much fun lately, which I think is a huge shame.

Even if not two pence hasn't been helpful, I hope you find some way to make it fun again

Echo Muddy Monster - what is the driver behind the stage 4 goal?

Personal aim, plus work/CV and while a challenge it is not entirely out of reach. I absolutely love my training, this is the first time I've had such a problem there as it were. I've gone from my 2 to having part of my I in less than two years, it's been fantastic. Also 'training' is a cheaper long term way of enjoying better horses. I couldn't stomach paying their normal prices.

I have even asked whether one of my lessons could be out on their wider facilities ie canter tracks etc as that's a whole other thing to learn about, but didn't really get any joy.

 

[teapot]

You have a really clear goal you want to achieve which is totally doable. I think you now need to break it down more on how you are going to achieve it. It sounds like you are treading water at the moment.

I think maybe you could get a bit more help with your confidence issues as sound like they are holding you back. I worked with Sally in 2019 partly as a guinea pig for some work she was doing and partly to get help on the myriad of issues I have - MindOdyssey | Sport Psychology | Andover. I found some huge benefits to it and I am a lot better at self talk but still not good enough! Jenni Winter is supposed to be very good as well.

Riding more would also help. The more I ride, the better I am. Even if its hacking down the road as a lot of schooling stuff you can do even hacking on the road.

I am not sure how many horse friends you have on Facebook but don't be afraid to shout out and ask for horses to ride/help if a share would not suit you. I have been tremendously lucky with the opportunities I have had through helping ride out in my spare time. My current two rather lovely horses came about because I had a lame horse and nothing to do or ride so put a shout on Facebook.

Not sure where you live but I have a lovely horse trained to Ele/Medium level doing very little at the moment because she has suspensory issues so I give her a low pressure life mostly hacking but perfectly capable of showing someone the ropes with a bit of schooling.

Maybe try and go to some local dressage competitions at medium and above so you can watch people ride. I find watching so incredibly helpful. Especially the warm up.

I appreciate you want to keep work separate - but ultimately you looking to gain higher levels of qualification to help you at work and invest in yourself. I don't think I would discount it if there are opportunities.

Thanks Lec - I thought we'd cracked the confidence, we've been taking it slowly, and honestly my riding's unrecognisable now, but have had this blip for whatever reason. Lesson was almost a perfect storm in that respect. Absolutely gutting. Work may well have a few more opportunities come up horse wise and unlike my last job, it's an entirely different set up, so I may be seperating it unnecessarily. Once bitten and all that.

I jumped at the chance of volunteering at a high level dressage comp the other week, 'it'll be good for your training' was the suggestion - I ended up stewarding the lorry park

 

[I'm Dun]

You wont pass your stage 4 unless you are riding a lot. You need to riding daily, on anything you get the chance to. Doesnt matter if its a little hairy pony to hack down the lane, or someones 4* eventer. Stick an ad up and get on every horse you are offered whenever you are offered it. And then do the more formal training on top of that. Up to stage 3 you can blag it a bit in the riding, but by 4 they expect a bit more of you, and that only comes with riding a lot of different horses.

 

[teapot]

You wont pass your stage 4 unless you are riding a lot. You need to riding daily, on anything you get the chance to. Doesnt matter if its a little hairy pony to hack down the lane, or someones 4* eventer. Stick an ad up and get on every horse you are offered whenever you are offered it. And then do the more formal training on top of that. Up to stage 3 you can blag it a bit in the riding, but by 4 they expect a bit more of you, and that only comes with riding a lot of different horses.

Well aware of that and as said, it's a long term goal rather than next week. I don't currently have the time to ride everything and anything due to work, and have to be careful re doing too much health wise. I also won't fit on anything under 15.2... which is why I travel to a decent, big centre in the short term.

 

[j1ffy]

It sounds like you have a few challenges going on here - 1) your confidence, 2) progressing towards stage 4, 3) confidence in your trainer's ability to bolster your confidence and teach you the skills needed to achieve 2).

On 1), a few people have suggested sports psychology. I've not done it (other than a few webinars...and both my parents being NLP masters so it has been used on me since I was a teenager ) but a lot of people find it incredibly helpful. It sounds like it could be very beneficial to give you some tools to use 'in the moment' and set you on a longer term path to confidence.

For 2) and 3), it sounds like you want to continue with your trainer as you have confidence in his / her abilities overall, but they are not working for you right now. The relationship needs a reset.

How about going to another centre for an assessment and a few days of residential training, as a one-off? Or even just an assessment. Then take the outputs of that to your current trainer and insist on sitting down and working out a plan to close the gap between where you are now and where you need to be.

If your trainer is not willing to make that investment in you, I would look elsewhere.

 

[ihatework]

Well aware of that and as said, it's a long term goal rather than next week. I don't currently have the time to ride everything and anything due to work, and have to be careful re doing too much health wise. I also won't fit on anything under 15.2... which is why I travel to a decent, big centre in the short term.

I would honestly try and supplement your riding school training with some non riding school training. I agree with GS in that, from my experience, people who have predominantly trained at riding schools (however good) can get quite institutionalised.

Id be advertising for a share 2-3 days a week and getting some private lessons on that too. Now, I’m not saying there are an abundance of nice horses around to share, but if you are competent and reliable and put a bit of effort into finding them, there are people who would offer up their horse to the right person (they just avoid advertising them for fear of dealing with numpties).

In the past I’ve trained on established dressage horses that were retired but kept together and used sparingly for private teaching. You’d also get a lot out of that kind of set up.

 

[ihatework]

I jumped at the chance of volunteering at a high level dressage comp the other week, 'it'll be good for your training' was the suggestion - I ended up stewarding the lorry park

Annoying!!

Id suggest specifically volunteering to dressage write at BD elem/med or BE intermediate. I’d actively avoid high level. You will learn more by watching run of the mill tests and mistakes, for where you are at the moment.

 

[RachelFerd]

Sounds like a bit of a challenging situation to be in - and that current circumstances aren't going to get you to where you need to be for the Stg 4. Riding and training has to be fun - it sounds like you need to get away from the formal structure a little bit and find some opportunities to ride independently and/or with 1:1 lessons outside of the riding school environment. I feel like it would be a challenge to do the Stg 4 without a high level of riding fitness and a confidence level that has you happily hopping from horse to horse. Something that I think is probably easier to achieve with lots of more informal opportunities to ride.

I think you're a gazillion miles away from me, but there are lots of multi-horse owners out there who aren't interested in 'sharing' but would appreciate a reasonably experienced and educated rider to help them out with keeping multiples in work.

I also think it is helpful to get away from the 'dressage happens in the arena' mindset and have the opportunities to work on feel and schooling out hacking, on grass, on different surfaces etc.

 

[teapot]

Annoying!!

Id suggest specifically volunteering to dressage write at BD elem/med or BE intermediate. I’d actively avoid high level. You will learn more by watching run of the mill tests and mistakes, for where you are at the moment.

It was one way of learning people ride straighter than they park...

Writing is definitely on the to-do list, just need to make sure I can be 100% reliable for it (health and I spend a fair bit of time on call for work at the moment, which doesn't help).

A few weeks ago I was being dangled the do our intensives, you'd love it, be super good for you carrot, and now I'm a bit ok then... £5000+ for what exactly?!

Sounds like a bit of a challenging situation to be in - and that current circumstances aren't going to get you to where you need to be for the Stg 4. Riding and training has to be fun - it sounds like you need to get away from the formal structure a little bit and find some opportunities to ride independently and/or with 1:1 lessons outside of the riding school environment. I feel like it would be a challenge to do the Stg 4 without a high level of riding fitness and a confidence level that has you happily hopping from horse to horse. Something that I think is probably easier to achieve with lots of more informal opportunities to ride.

I think you're a gazillion miles away from me, but there are lots of multi-horse owners out there who aren't interested in 'sharing' but would appreciate a reasonably experienced and educated rider to help them out with keeping multiples in work.

I also think it is helpful to get away from the 'dressage happens in the arena' mindset and have the opportunities to work on feel and schooling out hacking, on grass, on different surfaces etc.

What's hard is that on my good days, I am getting the 'now this is a stage 4 rider' 'that's exactly how it should be, you just need some positional work otherwise they'll pull you for x' comments. I'm not a deluded client staring at the north face of the Eiger. Comments like that are hard earnt from my coach.

 

[LEC]

I think you're a gazillion miles away from me, but there are lots of multi-horse owners out there who aren't interested in 'sharing' but would appreciate a reasonably experienced and educated rider to help them out with keeping multiples in work.

I am one of those - I get vet students to come and ride out for me, so am pretty happy to fit round their studies - in return for dull hacking duties for fitness I give them lessons, pay for lessons, take them on fun rides and try and take them to nice places like the beach for fast work and fitness in the sea. I have nice horses but they can have their moments so need someone competent and the one with an easy life is a great schoolmaster.

 

[ihatework]

I am one of those - I get vet students to come and ride out for me, so am pretty happy to fit round their studies - in return for dull hacking duties for fitness I give them lessons, pay for lessons, take them on fun rides and try and take them to nice places like the beach for fast work and fitness in the sea. I have nice horses but they can have their moments so need someone competent and the one with an easy life is a great schoolmaster.

From the sounds of it Teapot would get so much more out of this for the next 6-12 months.

Now I have no interest in keeping a decent ridden horse for me full time, I’m lucky that I have a couple of horses that I have access to as and when I want, saves them a job on hacking and I’m free to school/have lessons if I so wish. Proper nice, fit, competition horses.

 

[teapot]

I am one of those - I get vet students to come and ride out for me, so am pretty happy to fit round their studies - in return for dull hacking duties for fitness I give them lessons, pay for lessons, take them on fun rides and try and take them to nice places like the beach for fast work and fitness in the sea. I have nice horses but they can have their moments so need someone competent and the one with an easy life is a great schoolmaster.

Sounds perfect!

This may sound weird, but one of the things I've missed most is not being allowed on the yard? It feels so stagnated waiting for a horse to be brought to you, and taken away again afterwards (if I've worked a horse, I feel it's my responsbility to put it away properly). I like checking how the tack fits, or seeing how a horse first comes out a box, ok a little stiff so maybe we'll be aiming for x today, or great that saddle's a bit off, this could be interesting etc. Those ten mins before my lessons always told me far more than any human could tell me.

 

[rara007]

I’d definitely look into informal options for a while- and make use of work horses if possible! I don’t know your local venues but round here within 30 miles 2 or 3 times a week there’s unaff dressage and a BD most weeks- most are desperate for writers and you can pretty much state when you can do, they’re often only arranged a day or two before. Work either need to have a rota for the on call set fairly well in advance or have a back up, it’s not fair to have you waiting around ‘just incase’ even if it is part of your salary. They need to give you some evenings off with some warning!

 

[teapot]

It sounds like you have a few challenges going on here - 1) your confidence, 2) progressing towards stage 4, 3) confidence in your trainer's ability to bolster your confidence and teach you the skills needed to achieve 2).

On 1), a few people have suggested sports psychology. I've not done it (other than a few webinars...and both my parents being NLP masters so it has been used on me since I was a teenager ) but a lot of people find it incredibly helpful. It sounds like it could be very beneficial to give you some tools to use 'in the moment' and set you on a longer term path to confidence.

For 2) and 3), it sounds like you want to continue with your trainer as you have confidence in his / her abilities overall, but they are not working for you right now. The relationship needs a reset.

How about going to another centre for an assessment and a few days of residential training, as a one-off? Or even just an assessment. Then take the outputs of that to your current trainer and insist on sitting down and working out a plan to close the gap between where you are now and where you need to be.

If your trainer is not willing to make that investment in you, I would look elsewhere.

Good shout re poss an assessment elsewhere. I do like my coach, 99% of the time it's joyful and 90mins flashes past, just been these last two weeks.

 

[MuddyMonster]

From the sounds of it Teapot would get so much more out of this for the next 6-12 months.

Now I have no interest in keeping a decent ridden horse for me full time, I’m lucky that I have a couple of horses that I have access to as and when I want, saves them a job on hacking and I’m free to school/have lessons if I so wish. Proper nice, fit, competition horses.

I'm not even sure it needs to be hugely 'decent' horse with hugely athletic potential - if confidence and inexperience out of a RS setting (however good it might be) is an issue, I'd actually be actively looking for a straight forward, forgiving type rather than an athletic type that would easily do the fancy flat work side. The lesser talented but straight forward type would give a rider lots of experience out of an arena. Forget about what you'd typically ride with an instructor there and take it on with the goal to broaden your experience to take back into the arena. Messing about with a horse bareback, getting out hacking on quiet roads and muddy bridlepaths to navigate through life, having to ride your best to squeeze every bit of softness and connectedness out of a less talented horse on the flat, have a canter up hill or downhill, working out pole distances and polework exercises to help, jumping on unlevel summer fields you find the world over and just generally being responsible for yourself and the horse rather than relying on someone else in the arena will be invaluable towards more formal training, if you aren't getting that already.

I'd also consider mechanical horse lessons to work on just 'you' but I don't think that would replicate the actual hands on, horsey-ness that you sound like your missing.

 

[Goldenstar]

The more you are on horses backs the better you get and it’s so much easier to do exams if you ride alone just as it’s hard to make the jump from training to competition if you have never had to be self reliant it’s easier to sit riding exams if you are used to having to self motivate and train yourself .

 

[RachelFerd]

What's hard is that on my good days, I am getting the 'now this is a stage 4 rider' 'that's exactly how it should be, you just need some positional work otherwise they'll pull you for x' comments. I'm not a deluded client staring at the north face of the Eiger. Comments like that are hard earnt from my coach.

So I think there's maybe a difference here between being a stage 4 rider to exam standards, and being a stage 4 rider to the wider experience of producing horses for competition. I trained for my stage 4 many moons ago at Huntley, although I didn't ever take the exam (i'd been drawn off into the world of riding racehorses at that point) but I've just had a bit of a nosey around the BHS website and syllabus. It sounds like they've improved it quite a lot - certainly when I was training the idea of a dressage-only pathway didn't exist - you were jumping 110 whether you liked it or not!

I particularly noted the excerpt below - which to me, suggests you want to go out and get some wider-world experience of schooling and improving all sorts of horses, so that you develop the confidence to be able to get on and 'walk the walk' when you are in the exam scenario.

"Horses may be young, green or sharp and you will be expected to analyse the Training Scale and provide in-depth explanations, analysis and solutions on training horses."

My expectations of someone with a recent stage 4 would be that they'd be good enough to put on a recently broken wobbly 4yo, or on a sharp/fit competition horse, or an ex racehorse straight out of training, or a well schooled horse in a double bridle... and be confident that they would be able to self direct themselves to do some useful schooling. And that's the kind of experience you build by riding lots of horses (anything you can get your hands on!!).

I've had some vague thinkings about finally doing my stg 4 and teach since it feels like it was a bit of an unfinished project. My plan was to do some top-up training at Ingestre. I haven't been yet, but have only heard good things and think they do residential....

 

[ester]

TP it seems totally logical to me to use the resources at your disposal which right now surely has to include the horses where you are currently working? More saddle time can't ever be a bad thing and even if not particularly BHS method wise they presumably would be a different type to the ones you are currently riding so would tick the wider experience box?

 

[maya2008]

I am another who says to advertise locally. I would happily have someone like you come and ride my husband’s horse for a bit of extra schooling - sweet, gentle gelding ridden by a novice who needs a bit of schooling a couple of times a week but is very forgiving and loves to learn. Would even stay and help you - being less tired at the end would be the bonus!

I am sure that there are probably lots of opportunities like that around - if you look for them. For free, too!