AIBU - lead rein size

[ycbm]

I'm sure the horse isn't a stallion and that was hyperbole just as breathing fire was.
.

 

[Katieg123]

I disagree.

That's absolutely fine if her child is a beginner rider it's fine but in shows lead rein is 3-7yo, first ridden (off the lead) is up to 10 years old. I feel like there's lots of misunderstanding on this post and also lots of exaggeration and sarcasm which isnt helping

 

[Elf On A Shelf]

That's absolutely fine if her child is a beginner rider it's fine but in shows lead rein is 3-7yo, first ridden (off the lead) is up to 10 years old. I feel like there's lots of misunderstanding on this post and also lots of exaggeration and sarcasm which isnt helping

Depends what type your showing. Show ponies are up to 8yo that year, m&ms are up to 9yo that year both under 12hh. Some unaffiliated shows say up to 11yo and 14.2hh and under.

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

I don't think OP is unreasonable to be disappointed but, given it doesn't sound like the hunt know OP or the horse directly, I also don't think they are being unreasonable to say no in these circumstances.

 

[Tiddlypom]

Anyone thinking of organising an equestrian event should read this thread and realise that, no matter how much care you take, that some entitled 'sensible rules don't apply to me' types will strop off at you.

I suggest taking up tiddlywinks instead.

 

[LadyGascoyne]

I have to admit, I can understand the OPs disappointment.

I thought this sort of thinking was on the way out due to the work by H&H, RBST, HOYs, BD etc to really showcase heavies over the past few years.

If this is still the thinking that resonates across the equine community then there really is little hope to save these rare breeds.

The first thing I’ll do if I win the lottery, is buy a few Suffolks. I adore them, and I would absolutely take one hunting, or to shows, use it on the farm, and even take it to a dressage clinic.

I wouldn’t take it to a little people’s lead rein event though. If these children are venturing out on a lead-rein and not confident enough to join the actual hunt, then they are likely to be intimidated by a large horse (I wouldn’t take an over 15hh any breed). Children on little ponies deserve to have a fun day out without adding something like a great big horse to the mix. Little ponies, with little legs are going to place those children at a huge height difference and that is intimidating, even if it doesn’t prove to be unsafe. It’s just not appropriate. In the field, absolutely fine, as those children have elected to go out with big hunters.

It’s about putting other people at ease, and being considerate of a natural fear of large animals.

 

[abbijay]

Probably ought to clear a few things up: horse is of course not a stallion, nor does it breathe fire or attack ponies on command. He has done many weird and wonderful things since I’ve owned him that give me confidence in his behaviour. I also would not have suggested doing this until my daughter could ride him well off lead but keep him on lead for everyone’s security. Had she been a tot it would have been safe for her.
I am thoroughly disappointed in the people who have said that my daughter must be excluded from all child including riding activities unless I buy her a pony. This sense of financial entitlement is typical of the horse community- I work my socks off to pay for 1 family pet that we can all ride (and another who is retired and we love more than anything). We can’t afford livery for another and finding the time would be a struggle too.
I am very grateful to the 2 people on here who have met me in real life and have defended me. I’m not a total crazy as most of you have obliterated me to be.
I have not been told that they have a no horses rule, just that my clydesdale “would not be sensible” to be there. If it was a “sorry 13.2hh limit in case of kicking” I would have felt less excluded by the hunt. And this is where I feel; my daughter being excluded because we don’t come from a long line of landed gentry with a string of ponies for every occasion.
To those who say “if I saw a Clydesdale I would go straight home” have a word with yourself. Ever since the first show I went to 13 years ago I have had people tell me that my perfectly behaved horse was the problem because it “will upset mine” - not has but will! A bit of spook busting goes a long way on all sides…
This isn’t about me though, this about a little girl who loves her pony even if other people don’t think he’s perfect for her…

 

[fidleyspromise]

He looks lovely.
It sounds like they worded it badly and they don't want anything big and not just your handsome boy. Have you asked for clarification as to size limit?
Could you borrow a pony for your daughter to join in on this occasion?

 

[Tiddlypom]

You are still deliberately misunderstanding experienced people on here who mostly like and admire heavy horses. I love them too, but this is not a place for them.

It is not hard to find out more about the day in question, it is not even just a lead rein meet, it's actually a regular trail hunt day with a lead rein route tacked on. Have you actually hunted much yourself before? The calmest of dobbins can get very lit up at a meet.

If you yourself, or your daughter when bigger and older, were taking him out as part of the regular field that would be fine.

‼ADDITIONAL LEAD REIN DATE‼

Next Saturday 25th February the ***** Hunt is meeting at ***** and there will be a specific accompanied Lead Rein route (parent or responsible adult to walk alongside every pony)

Meeting at 12 noon

*Amended to add* - please note this is a regular trail hunting day for our members and subscribers with plenty of jumping, we are just offering a separate, additional lead rein route for those who wish to join walking with their children

PM for details

 

[Palindrome]

She is too old for lead rein and her horse is not suitable, just sign her up for something else (dressage, RC, fun ride, etc...), no need to make drama or claiming she is being "excluded from all child including riding activities".
ETA: I didn't have a horse until I was 23, she is lucky to have one, I am sure she will get over the fact that she can't do a lead rein hack with a hunt.

 

[Rowreach]

To those who say “if I saw a Clydesdale I would go straight home” have a word with yourself. Ever since the first show I went to 13 years ago I have had people tell me that my perfectly behaved horse was the problem because it “will upset mine” - not has but will! A bit of spook busting goes a long way on all sides…

Again, that was me, and I make no apology for it, because I was talking specifically about taking a small child on a small pony to a lead rein meet, not a show, not a PC rally, not anything other than the occasion you yourself were describing. And if I arrived and saw a Clydesdale there I would wonder if the hunt had done any sort of risk assessment at all, about anything.

Read the thread again. You asked a question. You got four pages of answers that you didn't like, and the only responses you did like were from your two mates.

I'm sure your daughter will have an amazing time on your obviously lovely horse, doing all sorts of things. But not a lead rein hunt, and not because the hunt think you aren't the right sort of people to be there.

 

[Rowreach]

You are still deliberately misunderstanding experienced people on here who mostly like and admire heavy horses. I love them too, but this is not a place for them.

It is not hard to find out more about the day in question, it is not even just a lead rein meet, it's actually a regular trail hunt day with a lead rein route tacked on. Have you actually hunted much yourself before? The calmest of dobbins can get very lit up at a meet.

‼ADDITIONAL LEAD REIN DATE‼

Next Saturday 25th February the ***** Hunt is meeting at ***** and there will be a specific accompanied Lead Rein route (parent or responsible adult to walk alongside every pony)

Meeting at 12 noon

*Amended to add* - please note this is a regular trail hunting day for our members and subscribers with plenty of jumping, we are just offering a separate, additional lead rein route for those who wish to join walking with their children

PM for details

"Parent or responsible adult to walk alongside every pony" ...

 

[Patterdale]

Whatever you think and however well you think he might go, it SOUNDS like a disaster waiting to happen, and that’s all they have to go on.

If he gets out of control with a lead rein rider, in a way that a 12hh pony won’t (smaller, much less strong and you can easily grab the child off) then they will be liable.

Please don’t make a fuss about this with the volunteers who are organising. I get that you can’t see it now, but with the benefit of hindsight I’m sure you will. We all get a bit of a blind spot where our children are concerned.

 

[Red-1]

Probably ought to clear a few things up: horse is of course not a stallion, nor does it breathe fire or attack ponies on command. He has done many weird and wonderful things since I’ve owned him that give me confidence in his behaviour. I also would not have suggested doing this until my daughter could ride him well off lead but keep him on lead for everyone’s security. Had she been a tot it would have been safe for her.
I am thoroughly disappointed in the people who have said that my daughter must be excluded from all child including riding activities unless I buy her a pony. This sense of financial entitlement is typical of the horse community- I work my socks off to pay for 1 family pet that we can all ride (and another who is retired and we love more than anything). We can’t afford livery for another and finding the time would be a struggle too.
I am very grateful to the 2 people on here who have met me in real life and have defended me. I’m not a total crazy as most of you have obliterated me to be.
I have not been told that they have a no horses rule, just that my clydesdale “would not be sensible” to be there. If it was a “sorry 13.2hh limit in case of kicking” I would have felt less excluded by the hunt. And this is where I feel; my daughter being excluded because we don’t come from a long line of landed gentry with a string of ponies for every occasion.
To those who say “if I saw a Clydesdale I would go straight home” have a word with yourself. Ever since the first show I went to 13 years ago I have had people tell me that my perfectly behaved horse was the problem because it “will upset mine” - not has but will! A bit of spook busting goes a long way on all sides…
This isn’t about me though, this about a little girl who loves her pony even if other people don’t think he’s perfect for her…View attachment 108240

I think many of us are not landed gentry. I, for one, came from a single parent family where we rented a 2 up, 2 down, sublet the two down and had no heating, no hot water and no bathroom (tin tub). We considered it luxury to have an indoor toilet. One of the advantages, to me, with horses is that they simply don't care where I came from or who my dad is.

I think you are taking this very personally, whereas it is simply an organiser trying to keep everyone safe. You say, "this about a little girl who loves her pony even if other people don’t think he’s perfect for her…" And I say that this is about a lot of little girls and boys, all of whom want a nice day out. No one has said she shouldn't ride your horse. I had small people riding Charlie Horse who was just shy of 17hh. It was lovely to see how he gave them confidence. But, I would not have let them take him hunting with little ponies.

If you feel excluded, than I would ask the hunt for clarification as to the size limit for the lead rein walk along at the hunt.

 

[wills_91]

Probably ought to clear a few things up: horse is of course not a stallion, nor does it breathe fire or attack ponies on command. He has done many weird and wonderful things since I’ve owned him that give me confidence in his behaviour. I also would not have suggested doing this until my daughter could ride him well off lead but keep him on lead for everyone’s security. Had she been a tot it would have been safe for her.
I am thoroughly disappointed in the people who have said that my daughter must be excluded from all child including riding activities unless I buy her a pony. This sense of financial entitlement is typical of the horse community- I work my socks off to pay for 1 family pet that we can all ride (and another who is retired and we love more than anything). We can’t afford livery for another and finding the time would be a struggle too.
I am very grateful to the 2 people on here who have met me in real life and have defended me. I’m not a total crazy as most of you have obliterated me to be.
I have not been told that they have a no horses rule, just that my clydesdale “would not be sensible” to be there. If it was a “sorry 13.2hh limit in case of kicking” I would have felt less excluded by the hunt. And this is where I feel; my daughter being excluded because we don’t come from a long line of landed gentry with a string of ponies for every occasion.
To those who say “if I saw a Clydesdale I would go straight home” have a word with yourself. Ever since the first show I went to 13 years ago I have had people tell me that my perfectly behaved horse was the problem because it “will upset mine” - not has but will! A bit of spook busting goes a long way on all sides…
This isn’t about me though, this about a little girl who loves her pony even if other people don’t think he’s perfect for her…View attachment 108240

He looks lovely, and I am surprised that your child doesn't look so tiny on him. I just want to say, we are another family who couldn't afford 2, and having had my lovely horse before any of the kids she wasn't going. My step daughter made do with lessons & borrowed rides and was only ever able to ride my horse on lead rein - although mine was in no way as saintly as yours sounds - we just had to appreciate that it meant somethings were off limits to us. Again, the majority of posters have said they wouldn't expect anything of any breed above 14.2 at a LR meet, nothing to do with the breed.

 

[Red-1]

Just to prove I have nothing against little people riding bigger horses. He is an ID X. Very trustworthy, experienced hunter who would lead or give a lead, front or back, stay or leave alone. But still, I would not take him to a lead rein hunt.

 

[YorksG]

I presume that the lead rein ride is organised by the hunt supporters club, people who find raise for the hunt. They will be largely volunteers, who are trying to expand the appeal of their hunt. There will always be someone who feels "done down" by any equestrian organisation, the phrase can't do right for doing wrong sums it up perfectly imo

 

[Arzada]

‼ADDITIONAL LEAD REIN DATE‼

Next Saturday 25th February the ***** Hunt is meeting at ***** and there will be a specific accompanied Lead Rein route (parent or responsible adult to walk alongside every pony)

I can't see why there's any issue here. Never ever will a Clydesdale be a pony

 

[conniegirl]

This sense of financial entitlement is typical of the horse community- I work my socks off to pay for 1 family pet that we can all ride (and another who is retired and we love more than anything). We can’t afford livery for another and finding the time would be a struggle too.

Its not financial entitlement, its an unfortunate reality that your child won’t be allowed to do many leadrein activities due to the size of your horse.
so you have a choice to make either Accept she cant do everything due to the size of your horse, change the horse for something she can do leadrein activities on or find the money some how.

I certainly can’t afford 2 on livery so Ellie is going to have to learn on my pony. My pony is only 13.2hh but i have accepted that she wont be able to do everything she wants until either i can afford another pony or until cob passes on and i can buy her a leadrein pony that unfortunately means i may not be able to ride until she is big enough and old enough to be on 13hhers

 

[Fjord]

I don't hunt, don't have a big horse, or kids, so I'm not very qualified to answer, but here's my opinion anyway! Your horse looks lovely OP and your daughter doesn't look that small on him. I bet they are great together. However, I would not expect to see a large horse at a lead rein meet and would consider the risk to be too high. The organisers have no idea how well behaved your horse is and have to cover their a*ses.

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

I mean I never had a pony of my own or on loan/share when I was growing up so I was excluded from most child riding activities that weren't riding at cheap/affordable riding schools. I was fortunate to have those lessons, just as you and your daughter are fortunate to have your lovely horse to enjoy. There just may be situations like this where things don't quite work out so then you need to think about your choice to either find/organise other activities, or look at options like sharing/loaning a pony that would open up these options to your daughter.

 

[stangs]

I am thoroughly disappointed in the people who have said that my daughter must be excluded from all child including riding activities unless I buy her a pony. This sense of financial entitlement is typical of the horse community- I work my socks off to pay for 1 family pet that we can all ride (and another who is retired and we love more than anything). We can’t afford livery for another and finding the time would be a struggle too.

You appreciate that going to a hunt (specifically a hunt - not any activity ever) isn't a human right? As in, I grew up without any regular access to any ponies or horses I could do a normal "child including riding activity", beyond the occasional thing organised by my RS.

If you want to talk entitlement, I'm quite happy to go on a rant about how unfair it is that your daughter has been able to do lead rein shows and dressage while I could only dream about that kind of thing as a kid.

 

[maya2008]

For the cost of 2 horses on DIY livery we keep many in a field. I have lost access to an arena at ‘home’, have to do my own field maintenance, own fencing, take my own water down etc all so my kids can have their ponies. We buy cheap - under £1000 and unbacked, then make the ponies into what we need. Same cost, different choices. Nothing to do with financial entitlement at all.

 

[WelshD]

Your choice of lead rein animal is unconventional.
You cannot possibly deny that.

so your child and horse are not going to fit in to every box neatly and you just need to accept that. There are other activities that you can do eg fun rides. you won’t be excluded from everything

It’s not about the gentry or poshness of the breed - a 17hh famous show jumper would be as unwelcome at a lead rein meet. id personally raise my eyebrows at something over 14hh same as I would do if judging a lead rein class at an unaffiliated show.

it all comes down to risk and ensuring a quiet sedate experience for little kids. For every 17hh gentle giant there have no doubt been ten tearaways, kickers, etc in the past.

a few years back a small child was killed at a hunt when a larger horse kicked out,the child was at the exact height to be caught by the kick.

With little kids it’s never worth the risk.

 

[Winters100]

I am thoroughly disappointed in the people who have said that my daughter must be excluded from all child including riding activities unless I buy her a pony.

I’m not a total crazy as most of you have obliterated me to be.

And this is where I feel; my daughter being excluded because we don’t come from a long line of landed gentry with a string of ponies for every occasion.

This isn’t about me though, this about a little girl who loves her pony even if other people don’t think he’s perfect for her…

Honestly I think you need to take a step back from this. This particular event was organised for ponies. No one here has said that your child should be "excluded from all child related riding activities". Your daughter is lucky, she has a horse to ride. Most children have neither a horse or a pony.

No one has said that you are a "total crazy", but what people have said is that you know your horse, but others do not. They also do not know you, so without the organisers visiting you and your horse on multiple occasions how could they make an assessment of the additional risk posed by having a large horse in with a group of small ponies?

Your daughter is not being excluded because of your heritage or wealth, it is simply that you do not have a pony for the lead rein pony event.

Finally you say "This isn’t about me though, this about a little girl who loves her pony even if other people don’t think he’s perfect for her". This is not about your daughter, it is about making sure that all participants are a safe as possible and have an enjoyable day. Many parents and children would have a less enjoyable day riding alongside a large horse, not to mention the extra risk, which you assess at 0, but they do not know your horse.

Why do you find it so difficult to accept that not every event is suitable for your horse? I grew up with a disabled Mother, and there were many things that we could not do as a family, disabled access at that time was not nearly as good as it is now, but none of us whinged and whined about it, we just found other things to do. Your daughter may be sad not to be able to join this event, but dealing with disappointment is part of growing up, and compared to the vast majority of children she is a very lucky girl to have the opportunity to ride.

Clearly this has touched a nerve for you. Maybe you have other things going on, we all have difficult times, but really this is not a catastrophe in the scale of things. She will miss out on some things through riding a larger horse, but will gain on others. Your horse looks super, so I suggest that you turn it into a positive for your daughter and have a lovely day out doing something else.

 

[ycbm]

I just thought I'd put in an update to this as a friend of mine took her daughter on the meet which I'm pretty sure this is about. (Right area, right dates.) They were home early, the reason being that someone thought it was a good idea to take a pony which had not been out from home in a year due to injury. The pony broke free and caused complete havoc running around through the other ponies and it was a considerable time before it could be caught. The idea of having a young 17 hand horse in the middle of that situation doesn't really bear thinking about. It was, obviously, the fault of that pony's owners, but there are idiots in all walks of life.
.

 

[SO1]

If is a meet for lead rein ponies and children then unfortunately your 17h is not suitable for this event.

Is your horse an experienced hunting horse or would this lead rein event be his first experience of hunting. There a lot of horses and ponies who do county show without any problem would react quite differently at a hunt.

Personally I would not take a child to it's first hunt on a horse or pony that has never hunted before regardless of the size. It is very different to a show ground which is enclosed and where there is first aid and a lot of stewards on foot to provide assistance should it be needed.

However it would be easier to attempt to control an out of control Shetland than an out of control Clydesdale.

There are rules around size and rider and in some cases age. Some of which maybe archaic. I am a 5.1ft 8.5 stone adult but I cannot do SHP or WHP classes at county shows due to my age even if I was on a 15h which would be a suitable size for me. I accept that in some cases being the other way round an adult on a pony some classes and activities will not be possible for me.

Unfortunately you may have to accept that there will be activities your daughter maybe excluded from on your family horse due to his size.

 

[scruffyponies]

As one who never had a suitable pony, I feel for the OP. I have seen the horror on faces as my substituted 15.3 welsh x (DC called him a 'destrier'!) jumped the wing instead of the cross pole with my 6yo child on board at a starter rally. I also remember how it felt when my perfectly behaved FTGH Dartmoor stallion was unwelcome at rallies because he 'might upset the mares'.

However I can't easily see how you can mitigate the risk of mixing large and small, with inexperienced jockeys and vulnerable pedestrians, so understand those responsible making a safety call.

 

[ozpoz]

He looks lovely, and one of the important things to consider which hasn’t been mentioned is width and the effect on growing child hips, and although my grandchildren love a ride on my 15.3 ISH, I’d never take him out to something like this, or let them ride for more than 20mins. Clydesdales are literally like a table on top and were often ridden back from the fields after a days work sidesaddle but without the saddle! I’m old enough to remember (just) seeing them work, and there are annual ploughing matches round here. The ridden classes are very popular now.
There are possibly outgrown ponies in your area just waiting for a day out - maybe worth asking the hunt sec. If they know of any if your heart is set on taking your wee one to a lead rein meet?

 

[holeymoley]

Your horse is lovely OP and I'm sure your daughter gets on great with him and has lots of fun.

I think the hunt are thinking on a safety point of view. Unfortunately in the world we live in now, all potential risks and aspects must be covered. If there are small children on a lead rein with small ponies, the chance of any equine 'enjoying' their selves too much is a big risk, that, coupled with a him being 17hh horse in to the bargain is a big risk purely due to size. The size is the problem here, if he was a 17hh/18hh warmblood/any breed then you would probably get the same answer I'm afraid.