Alright alright you can have an update you hags.

Lol!! I always hide in the downstairs loo when the window cleaners come - it's the only room in the house with no window!! I feel like a goldfish in a small bowl - And why is it you always need a wee when they come and then worry they think you're having a big poo?!! I never poo btw, eeuw!!
 
IsabelleJ said:
Also, don't ever say this, even jokingly, to your Doctor.

Don't ask me how I know!

Isabelle
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You HAVE to tell us NOW. ALL of it. Every little detail, and we will hound you till you do!

STARZAAN! Mi amour! My love! Ma petit chaufleur! Thank you for making this the best Wednesday morning EVER! Delighted to see you back and still on fine form!
 
Brilliant!

It's a well known fact all farriers are awful in the romantic / fancying way.

Mines (very handsome) couldn't be bothered with me when I was 14 and used to ignore me whilst he shod my horse, fast forward to my 19th birthday and said farrier (now much tubbier and older ad tragic) tried to grope me outside the pub.

Lecherous old man! I told him to shimmy off but leave me the number of his apprentice thanks!
 
You know that lovely, romantic moment when you tiptoe like two tiptoeing things into the bedroom to wake up your sleeping soldier? The soldier who you left KINDLY, out of the GOODNESS OF YOUR HEART to have a lie in while you mucked out, tidied up the house, walked the dogs, and did all the other crappy morning jobs?

The same soldier who, on being gently and lovingly woken up by a moragulous vision in jodhpurs, says "why do you smell of poo?".


Awwww. He's so LOVELY.


ALSO - I've got me lemons out.
 
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Welcome back my moragulous squish! For a long time I've enjoyed being privy to your updates on fb, but nothing prepared me for the stories of Mama and Papa Starzaan testing out Solider Boy, the urine in your ears or the cacophony of sounds in my head at the thought of Gol snoring at both, rather distant ends. You also went all Nigella-esque on me, whisking sauce in my head in your morag-freeing top, only to end all Mrs Doubtfire with your burnt boob. Still you are a damn fine thing though, Nice Eyes McGee!

You have assaulted my own, rather full bladder. I have taken the Sheldon Cooper "I am a master of my bladder" approach. I'm not refreshing this page until I can read safely!

We've all missed you 80) And love to The Woozle for making a match out of you and the solider!
 
Actually, I think this thread is rather poor!

All these pages and not ONE picture of this hot soldier.

Could you please provide your adoring public with some visual stimulation to this story? It was aid our imaginations ;)

And has he got any fit soldier friends that might be looking for a tall, blonde, Scottish female with sizeable Morags, but not as big as Nigellas? Only hang back is they must either love their females in 'show condition,' or be willing to cook healthy meals and cycle along the back of me whilst I run to spur me on to become grossly underweight and an RSPCA case.

I don't ask for much though.... and I don't have a set budget :D
 
Jenni_ said:
Actually, I think this thread is rather poor!

All these pages and not ONE picture of this hot soldier.

Could you please provide your adoring public with some visual stimulation to this story? It was aid our imaginations ;)

And has he got any fit soldier friends that might be looking for a tall, blonde, Scottish female with sizeable Morags, but not as big as Nigellas? Only hang back is they must either love their females in 'show condition,' or be willing to cook healthy meals and cycle along the back of me whilst I run to spur me on to become grossly underweight and an RSPCA case.

I don't ask for much though.... and I don't have a set budget :D
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If you're VERY nice you might get a photo of him....


and you sound all kinds of fit. I'll dress up as a soldier and eat cake with you any day.
 
IsabelleJ said:
Also, don't ever say this, even jokingly, to your Doctor.

Don't ask me how I know!

Isabelle
Click to expand...

LOL.

I once said it to a male riding instructor in a private lesson with a friend, who was actually in love with him! I properly yelled it so the whole yard heard too :o

I also considered the same response to the OP here when I read this, but I seem to have failed to post it. Finally I have some inhibitions :eek:
 
JFTD said:
LOL.

I once said it to a male riding instructor in a private lesson with a friend, who was actually in love with him! I properly yelled it so the whole yard heard too :o

I also considered the same response to the OP here when I read this, but I seem to have failed to post it. Finally I have some inhibitions :eek:
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I'm hurt.

VERY HURT.
 
Starzaan said:
If you're VERY nice you might get a photo of him....


and you sound all kinds of fit. I'll dress up as a soldier and eat cake with you any day.
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I'm always very nice! *harumph*

You're incredibly greedy keeping this young man and his rippling muscles all to yourself.

If my other half wasn't a grubby, ginger stubbled, pot bellied (but NOT fat!) mechanic I would most definitley share pictures :D

I only like soilders tanned, topless, and T*tless.

noone likes a man with blubbery boobs!

And as well, you're a female -and I'm not a lesbianism. A However much would like me to be! But fanks for saying I'm fit. Cor, I amn't half!
 
Me and my morags (wether wafting or not - occasionally they let me think Im in control!) more than a little in love with you Starzaan - your fabulocity knows no bounds...

And please please please can we see a picture of your fabulous exsoldier? Will love you (even more) foreverandeverandever
 
Starzaan said:
I'm hurt.

VERY HURT.
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:( I knew inhibitions were bad things :p Will it help if I cast them off instantly and declare my undying and eternal love at this juncture? 'cos I will...

I hereby declare my undying and eternal love for Starzaan and her morags, even the slightly singed one.
 
Starzaan, you have plumped for the right pony - military boys will always out-trump farriers....I mean, uniforms, muscles, manly scent, knowing how to handle guns (and themselves) what more could you want?

Me, I'm not married to a military man, but UNFORTUNATELY, my job means that I have to work with members of the Swedish and Danish Navy on a regular basis, AND I have to make them strip to waist on numerous occasions in order to ultrasound their hearts. It's a shi**y job, but someone has to do it.........

Was just away last week doing said work, and two new Swedish divers turned up for me to play with - I thought my morags, bits and everthing else womanly about me was going spontaneously combust. The fitness was overwhelming - Nigella wouldn't even come close! :) :) :)
 
pootleperkin said:
Starzaan, you have plumped for the right pony - military boys will always out-trump farriers....I mean, uniforms, muscles, manly scent, knowing how to handle guns (and themselves) what more could you want?

Me, I'm not married to a military man, but UNFORTUNATELY, my job means that I have to work with members of the Swedish and Danish Navy on a regular basis, AND I have to make them strip to waist on numerous occasions in order to ultrasound their hearts. It's a shi**y job, but someone has to do it.........

Was just away last week doing said work, and two new Swedish divers turned up for me to play with - I thought my morags, bits and everthing else womanly about me was going spontaneously combust. The fitness was overwhelming - Nigella wouldn't even come close! :) :) :)
Click to expand...

Do you need an apprentice :D
 
You have no idea how many female friends suddenly worm out from under the wood work when I mention what I do :) I could have many, many, willing assistants, but unfortunately, there wouldn't be much for them to do, other than ogle and that's not very professional! Obviously I never do that ;)
 
pootleperkin said:
You have no idea how many female friends suddenly worm out from under the wood work when I mention what I do :) I could have many, many, willing assistants, but unfortunately, there wouldn't be much for them to do, other than ogle and that's not very professional! Obviously I never do that ;)
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Oh as an able assistance i wasnt expecting to have to do much at all. But i have given the matter much thought and have considered that ogling can be highly professional if done correctly i.e. long thoughtful looks without a hint of steaminess on the outside!
 
''But i have given the matter much thought and have considered that ogling can be highly professional if done correctly i.e. long thoughtful looks without a hint of steaminess on the outside!''

^^I am very good at this :)

Plus I'm a married woman!!
 
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I'm trying to think of ways to give you all a treat and post a pic of a subject or two (from public Facebook pages), but in all honesty, I can't think how to do it without being exceptionally unprofessional.... :(
 
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