Am I being conned here?

[scarymare]

aaaaargh nightmare

Just googled him. Has been for sale since October with dealers (Horsequest) for 6K.

Only £500 difference but what does this mean? A mistake do you think? I hate the thought that people are taking advantage.

He also has no record eventing or SJ in Ireland. Sighs, why are people so crap and why was I so uncharacteristically trusting not to have looked?

 

[YasandCrystal]

aaaaargh nightmare

Just googled him. Has been for sale since October with dealers (Horsequest) for 6K.

Only £500 difference but what does this mean? A mistake do you think? I hate the thought that people are taking advantage.

He also has no record eventing or SJ in Ireland. Sighs, why are people so crap and why was I so uncharacteristically trusting not to have looked?

I suspect OP that they inflated his price expecting you to haggle and knock down the price. Many people expect to make an offer these days.

I think you need to make sure you pay less that the £6.5k for him. If he passes the vetting make them an offer of £6k or less.

 

[StoptheCavalry]

I think if your trying to find reasons not to buy him it may not be right for you right now. Also my horse has apparently dabbled in eventing, although he is scared of puddles so cant imagine he did particularly well. I think there is always a tendency to exaggerate when people are trying to sell things but that doesn't take away from the fact he may be a nice horse.

 

[scarymare]

I suspect OP that they inflated his price expecting you to haggle and knock down the price. Many people expect to make an offer these days.

I think you need to make sure you pay less that the £6.5k for him. If he passes the vetting make them an offer of £6k or less.

Yes, that's where I was with this. I did this before with a horse, offered a lower price, didn't get horse but she phoned back a couple of weeks later.

Is 5K too cheeky? I'm certainly not going higher than 5.5K on principal now.

 

[*hic*]

Yes, that's where I was with this. I did this before with a horse, offered a lower price, didn't get horse but she phoned back a couple of weeks later.

Is 5K too cheeky? I'm certainly not going higher than 5.5K on principal now.

For sale since October? I'd try £5K

 

[scarymare]

I think if your trying to find reasons not to buy him it may not be right for you right now. Also my horse has apparently dabbled in eventing, although he is scared of puddles so cant imagine he did particularly well. I think there is always a tendency to exaggerate when people are trying to sell things but that doesn't take away from the fact he may be a nice horse.

Yes I think you are correct. He is a nice horse and I am being really cold feet because I realise that by Sunday there may be a new head over the stable and I don't know if I'll manage.

I sent the old horse's rugs to a rescue centre after having them cleaned. I am worried I'm already seeing the new horse as 'not as beautiful/floaty/nice/charismatic' etc. Perhaps it is too soon after all. Interesting though OH who is non horsey and very mean with money has offered to buy me this horse. He loves the fact he is safe and gentle.

 

[Abacus]

I would be honest - tell them you have seen the horse advertised and ask if there's a reason for the increase (which you might expect if he had some good results, say, since October). The fact he hasn't sold yet does indicate that they shouldn't expect the asking price. I'm not very brave so would probably offer £5.5.

Have you already offered £6.5? If so they will know you can pay it, and might call your bluff.

See what happens in the vetting, too - it may be that there are issues that would give you more room for negotiation. Unless he outright 'fails' of course, in which case you can walk away, probably with a sigh of relief.

 

[scarymare]

For sale since October? I'd try £5K

LOL, first time I've smiled today. Right, will get my bravery up. At least this way if he is destined for me then he will come to me - let fate decide

 

[AmyMay]

I would be honest - tell them you have seen the horse advertised and ask if there's a reason for the increase (which you might expect if he had some good results, say, since October). The fact he hasn't sold yet does indicate that they shouldn't expect the asking price. I'm not very brave so would probably offer £5.5.

Have you already offered £6.5? If so they will know you can pay it, and might call your bluff.

See what happens in the vetting, too - it may be that there are issues that would give you more room for negotiation. Unless he outright 'fails' of course, in which case you can walk away, probably with a sigh of relief.

Really great advice.

 

[YasandCrystal]

LOL, first time I've smiled today. Right, will get my bravery up. At least this way if he is destined for me then he will come to me - let fate decide

Yes I would go with that too. Good luck

 

[Pearlsasinger]

Surely the time to haggle was before you booked the vetting, unless the vet finds something wrong.

 

[ihatework]

Forget the price and the whole 'conning' thing for now.
Do you like the horse?
Do you want to buy him and have him as your next forever horse?

If the answer is yes then proceed to the vetting.

A horse advertised in October for 6K has had 2-3 more months of feed and training, plus you are now the 'right' side of winter rather than the 'wrong' side so I would be quick to condemn the dealer too much! That said, see what the vetting throws up and there is nothing to stop you adjusting your offer. All I would say is don't let the right horse slip away from you for the sake of £500.

 

[Lolo]

Re. the eventing thing, he could feasibly have done mostly PC/ RC eventing at that height and just not affiliated due to the expense.

He sounds like a total gem, I hope everything works out as you need it to.

 

[Singing Dawg]

That is crazy money for an average horse with not very good conformation and no competition record. he probably came over from ireland last year for less than a thousand pounds they can only sell lovely horses over there if they are very very cheap. You could spend half that and buy a better horse if you looked over in ireland yourself. Sorry for the rant but I think the dealers are taking you for a ride. why don't you take a step back and see how your four year old shapes up in a few months time?

 

[AmyMay]

Forget the price and the whole 'conning' thing for now.
Do you like the horse?
Do you want to buy him and have him as your next forever horse?

If the answer is yes then proceed to the vetting.

A horse advertised in October for 6K has had 2-3 more months of feed and training, plus you are now the 'right' side of winter rather than the 'wrong' side so I would be quick to condemn the dealer too much! That said, see what the vetting throws up and there is nothing to stop you adjusting your offer. All I would say is don't let the right horse slip away from you for the sake of £500.

You always give such brilliant, balanced advice

 

[cronkmooar]

Sent you a PM

 

[FfionWinnie]

Spend the money getting the 4yr old(s) backed and crack on with them.

 

[pedilia]

Totally agree with Ihatework!

I have lost 6 horses in 3 years, 3 of those last year alone, it was heartbreaking everytime and I had decided to give up.
I very quickly realised that I missed being in the saddle to much, someone tagged me in a for sale post of FB.
I initially dismissed the ad, but something kept drawing me back to it, I ended up buying him and he arrived just before Christmas.

No horse will replace those I have lost but my new boy is helping heal a very large hole in my heart. He is very calm and safe, I normally go for quite spirited types but he is just what I need right now.
I hope whatever you decide to do, makes you horsey happy.

 

[*hic*]

I agree with the advice given above that you shouldn't lose the horse for the sake of a few hundred quid, if he will make you happier and give you a reason to crack on with the babies.

A horse that makes you feel safe is a wonderful thing. And I think by talking it through on here he's beginning to feel to you as though he might be "yours". I would ask them for clarification about his Irish eventing experience. Whether as Lolo says he's done PC/RC or whether he was affiliated and if so in what name.

Also, just to add, my daughter adores her big mare, yet when we first bought her, although she was just right on paper, and ticked all the ridden boxes, and all the handling boxes and the temperament boxes and was perfect in every possible way (apart from size, she is HUGE) she just wasn't the horse she replaced and my daughter couldn't forgive her for that and felt she'd never love her. It took time but the big mare is loved and appreciated and adored for who she is, not as a replacement but because she's her own very special self and she and my daughter have their own bond and relationship.

I did it the other way round. It's not quite the same as your situation, I knew that I had to get rid of my dream horse, the one I'd have died for in my teens and only managed to get by chance and when I was far to big and old and fat to ride her. I enjoyed working with her to break her and had her backed and broken at my place by a rider who came in. He then went on to event her and I very much enjoyed owning the horse but I knew it wasn't the right job for her and she needed a different home. I had a huge fear that I would be very miserable and depressed by losing my dream so I waved goodbye to her in the morning and picked up a young TB mare in the afternoon. I always looked on her as my "therapy" and excused my purchase to my husband as cheaper than counselling By viewing her like that I managed I think to avoid the "replacement resentment". I think what I'm trying to say is that if you can view the new horse or the babies in the way I viewed my TB mare it might be an easier way to handle it.

My TB mare produced a lovely foal for me last year She is such a sweet thing to have about the place and I really hope her baby will be my next horse of a lifetime.

 

[Inthemud]

He sounds a nice horse and could be a reasonable price if he is really safe.

You do need a bit of excitement though, when you buy a horse, whether it is an excited "can't wait to ride it" excitement, or a quieter "he's going to really help me get over losing a horse I loved" sort of way.

If you could press a button and have the purchase cancelled, with no embarrassment, loss of face or whatever - would you press it?

Or does the thought of that, make a little voice in your heart say "no, he's mine"...... ?

Good luck, whatever you do.

 

[Magicmillbrook]

Gosh its a hard one. My daughter bought a 'will do' horse 5 months after loosing her horse very suddenly. Although she has a good bond with him and he is a gem in many ways, with hindsight she rushed into getting him, he wasn't right for her and she isn't doing what she wants to do with him. I wonder if he ever will. But of course now 8 months on he is part of the family. I think the proposed horse is at the top end of his worth and , I would just worry that if you are having doubts he may not be the one.

 

[muffinmunsh]

Follow your instinct. I don't think you'd even concider the money if you thought it was the right horse.

 

[Spring Feather]

I'm going back many years here but when I lost my horse of a lifetime I cleared all my other horses off my land and put them in livery. I don't know why but I didn't want them at home in *her* field. I was resolute that I didn't want to replace her. For about a month. And then the old *need to have one* crept back in so I started looking for another. I found one who was a nice horse. Didn't rock my boat at all but was a "nice horse" none the less. I bought him and brought home my others. I never felt the same about him, and I've never felt the same about any other horse, BUT he turned out to be a really wonderful horse. I enjoyed him very much eventually and he did much more than I ever thought him and I would do. I think because he was so different to my old girl that it took me a long time to appreciate his calm ways and his uncomplicated character. Did he light my world up? No. Did he give me that excited gasp of breath when I rode him? No. Was he the right horse to get after her death? Absolutely! And I still think of him with great fondness now.

I don't think you are being conned. The price sounds about right. He may not set your world on fire but maybe he is exactly what you need right now. All I'm saying is try to not get hung up on emotions because you'll probably never feel the same way about any other horse as you felt for your old horse. And yes of course (if he passes the vetting and you decide to go for him) you bid them down

 

[scarymare]

I'm going back many years here but when I lost my horse of a lifetime I cleared all my other horses off my land and put them in livery. I don't know why but I didn't want them at home in *her* field. I was resolute that I didn't want to replace her. For about a month. And then the old *need to have one* crept back in so I started looking for another. I found one who was a nice horse. Didn't rock my boat at all but was a "nice horse" none the less. I bought him and brought home my others. I never felt the same about him, and I've never felt the same about any other horse, BUT he turned out to be a really wonderful horse. I enjoyed him very much eventually and he did much more than I ever thought him and I would do. I think because he was so different to my old girl that it took me a long time to appreciate his calm ways and his uncomplicated character. Did he light my world up? No. Did he give me that excited gasp of breath when I rode him? No. Was he the right horse to get after her death? Absolutely! And I still think of him with great fondness now.

I don't think you are being conned. The price sounds about right. He may not set your world on fire but maybe he is exactly what you need right now. All I'm saying is try to not get hung up on emotions because you'll probably never feel the same way about any other horse as you felt for your old horse. And yes of course (if he passes the vetting and you decide to go for him) you bid them down

Thank you so much - you have clearly felt exactly the same as me at that time and I really appreciate your advice.

 

[Annagain]

I lost my horse of a lifetime unexpectedly 8 years ago and bought my current boy 3 months later, although I was already half looking as he was more or less retired. The guilt I had for 'trying to replace him' before he was even dead was awful. I kept thinking he knew and let himself go to save me the worry - even though I had only done a bit of browsing online, which I still do all the time, with no real intention of seeing anything through!

Archie's not quite turned out to be another horse of a lifetime due to foot issues that mean he can't jump anymore, but it doesn't mean I love him any less (hence keeping him even though he can't do what I want. He's a perfect happy hacker so I could have sold him / loanded him out if I'd wanted to.)

The first 6 months were horrendous, but the poor thing didn't stand a chance as I was always comparing him to my old boy who had become some sort of saint overnight - he really wasn't! Once I realised I was being unfair to him, I suddenly saw all these good points that my old boy didn't have! I can catch him EVERY time, he's far more cwtchy, far better in traffic (although I would have described Eb as 100% until I rode Archie and realised he was only 99%!) and doesn't get into silly scraps in the field.

It didn't stop me accidentally calling Archie Ebony last week and bursting into tears though (seriously, 8 years on?)! You'll never replace your old one, but that's no reason not to do it again.

Stupid horses, they cost us a fortune, cause a load of worry (and the odd injury!) and then break our hearts....Then we go and do it all over again.

 

[Mongoose11]

6.5 sounds a lot. I think I would like to pay more like 4k from your description!

More importantly you don't sound happy to pay it which is the important bit. If yóu got a real buzz from him then you would be? Mind you it seems that you have clicked in some way. Perhaps the loss of your horse is taking away the buzz from this one and making you question everything?

I would take a few weeks if I were you? Consider this horse again next month if he is still available?

 

[Wagtail]

No, you are not being conned. £6.5 k for a horse that could do Newcomers and is also exceptionally safe and in the prime of its life is a good price IMO. But I would not buy him unless he rocked my world. So if you are having doubts, then wait a while until you find 'the one'.

 

[Grumpy Herbert]

Just take a step back for a bit and think carefully. I knew I was going to have my much loved horse put to sleep and decided to buy another before I did so it didn't feel like I was replacing him. Sadly, I let my heart rule my head and bought something cheap, but really quite unsuitable. Thankfully, I love the one I bought to pieces, even though he is nowhere near what I wanted or needed, and is quite frankly a basket case. I wanted something bombproof and uncomplicated, he soooooo isn't! I guess what I'm saying is that you are feeling very raw at the moment and that isn't the best situation when spending a lot of money on something that could break your heart if you get it wrong. If your feet are cold, walk away. Why not share something for a few months to keep your riding "mojo", then look for something just right in the spring?

You have my deepest sympathies, it's a rotten time when you lose them. I hope everything works out for you.

 

[scarymare]

Thanks everyone, head is together now:

Here's where I am:

1. I knew horse irreplacable and right from the start said I wasn't going to try but to get something and go out next weekend and have fun and start living again. Something that would stand at the box, that I could manage on my own, take to the beach, get to a BE 80T.

2. Price of this horse not the issue, its there or thereabouts and if the extra £500 is my instructor's cut then I'll deal with her later (I already rewarded her very well)

3. I should buy him. I don't really remember trying him tbh, but I do remember that when I was showing my husband 'my new horse' (he had walked the dog whilst I was riding), he put his neck around mine as if he could feel my pain. I also didn't bother trying the other suitable one they had as said I had made up my mind. I also caught him in the mouth when I was jumping (I never do this so was mortified) and he didn't even react to this.

My sister pointed out today that this was a stunning, mostly TB competition horse and finding one of those, with such an amazing temprement, should not be taken lightly, she also said that a disher had won a top show this year, not that I'm going showing anyhow. Cold feet gone.....wish the bloody vet would phone.

 

[Mongoose11]

That's fantastic, sounds like you just had some thinking to do. Great that you have got your head around it. Fingers crossed for the vet!