Am I just not cut out to be a horse owner?

[Dyllymoo]

I was always into horses when I was younger, volunteered at a riding school for many years until I was 16 when I ended up moving out of home as my mum moved abroad. I started having lessons again at 29, bought my first horse with the "help" of the riding school. He was a 16.2hh german warmblood ex showjumper (12 years old). Long story short, very dodgy dealer (ended up going to prison for selling dodgy horses) and even dodgier vet who was struck off I believe for dodgy vettings (I was naïve and the riding school advised their vet was coming to do jabs and could do his vetting... obviously never again!). a few months passed, and unfortunately he started to seem lame, and it turns out he had severe suspensory damage in both hind legs. 9 months box rest, 18 months rehab and he went lame when we introduced 20m circles in the school. His legs were worse than ever. He was unfortunately PTS.

Got my mare, a 7 year old ISH from a local seller. At viewing she struggled a bit with right rein canter, but she was green and my instructor (and later my vet at the vetting) agreed it was a schooling issue. took her back to basics for a year. Upped the workload (Im talking prelim level at home and popping tiny jumps) and she refused to go forward. Back, teeth, saddles all checked. Still refusing and starting to slightly threaten to rear. 4 visits to my local vet over a couple of months, 1/10 lame on hard surface on a circle and told she is naughty and to push her through. 1 month later I have a nasty fall (broncing and rearing now), so decide that either she is in pain or I am not suited to her. Decide to check pain and get referred to AHT (Sue Dyson). Sue finds a multitude of issues (sacroiliac issues, PSD in both hinds and negative rotation of her pedal bones in both fronts). she suggests retirement at 9 years old. I rehab her with the help of a specialist (slowly etc.), eventually I am riding her and she feels the best she has felt. Then all of a sudden she broncs me off and I loose consciousness. My worst fall ever to date. I was told by many she was malicious as there was no need for her to have reacted like that, she was doing a 20m circle in trot. I took her to the vets. her suspensories had got worse and unfortunately I had to retire her. She was retired for around 3 months and one day she looked off to me. vets 2 days later and they rescanned and told me her legs had deteriorated rapidly (even though she didn't look any worse). I had to PTS 2 days later.

And now J...….. I'm absolutely heartbroken. He is 6 years old and whilst I don't know the extent of his issues yet (still waiting for the referral vet to call me for an appointment), from speaking to the specialist at my vets yesterday its not great news.

Am I just unlucky or useless with horses? I know people will be thinking and talking. They did after my mare, saying I PTS too soon etc.

Just feeling extremely low and vulnerable right now. If we have the CT scan booked at least I will be able to have a date to look towards. At the minute its just so all up in the air.

 

[MrsMozartleto]

Have a hug lass.

Know the feeling well. Lost four to lameness issues that couldn't ever be fixed and just deteriorated.

Now still have my bog-off-cob and sometimes I find myself hanging back from doing anything with him as he's sound. And healthy. And what if I bugger that all up because I want to ride.

You're definitely not useless with horses. You did what was needed for each horse without thought for yourself. That, to me and to many, is the sign of a good horse owner.

 

[Baccara]

Im so sorry to read all this. After many years and many horses later, most with problems of some sort or another - ulcers, suspensories, tieing up, Ive finaly got 2 who are mostly ok. One has had ulcers which has been treated successfully, plus his hocks injected and the other one is coming right after injections to several parts of his body. I think what Im trying to say, (Im now in my late 60s) life with horses can be s****. And you have to remember its not always your fault, horses are vunerable animals and are prone to all sorts of problems. Im now competeing at a level Ive been wanted to compete at for many years but very few horses go through their lives with out problems. I really hope J comes right for yoy. x

 

[skint1]

I am so sorry to read how you're feeling, and I can totally relate in my own way. It sounds like you're due a change of luck and I am sending best wishes to you and J for a positive outcome x

 

[Mrs G]

Out of all my horsey friends I would say at least a third have had bad luck such as yours even without the 'help' of dodgy dealers or untrustworthy vets. Horse ownership is a lottery; for such large, strong animals they are very delicate in so many ways. It sounds to me as though you have tried to do your best for all your horses; and that is really the crux of horse ownership!

 

[milliepops]

I don't think you're useless, that sounds like a run of crappy luck.

However the thing that stands out to me is that it seems like you maybe aren't getting access to the right advice always when you need it.
I feel very supported by my vets, I am registered with a referral practice so I get experts on hand as soon as I think there's something up. That goes a long way to feeling a bit less out of control, I think. Also puts you in a slightly stronger position when it comes to randomers at the yard sticking their beak in. Just putting that out there, I know you've said there are some changes going on with your local vets but it's something to bear in mind.

I hope you get your CT date soon, it's horrible when you're in limbo x

 

[Roxylola]

Horses are shockingly badly designed. They are balancing a huge amount of weight on what basically amounts to a finger at each corner.

Their digestive system is an actual nightmare, they cant regurgitate anything they shouldn't eat, apparently have no sense about what they should or shouldn't eat, and to pass anything it's got to get through a 180 bend in the intestines!

They have a ridiculously small brain for their size so they're often relying on reaction rather than thought and therefore randomly will have completely stupid accidents. Honestly it's a miracle any of them ever make old bones.

I think the people who are "lucky" often are either not doing enough with their horses for issues to become apparent, or are trotting along oblivious to the small things that the likes of us on here would question. That's not a slur or anything, but we are on a horse forum for a reason - usually to find out more about something, it's not a social thing its specific. And, even if you did come on here to be sociable, with the amount of collective knowledge and experience there is you are inevitably going to absorb some of it and become more aware of things.

Have you been unlucky? Yes. Are there likely loads of slightly crocked horses in the world plodding along? Yes. Are you a great owner for listening and noticing before it really became a huge problem? Yes.

I'm so sorry that you've ended up in this situation, my heart literally aches for anyone in your place. I didnt have the courage for it. I had my boy pts at the age of 9 fourteen years and 10 days ago. I've never been able to face another, I love my riding still and enjoy what I'm doing but I'm not sure I'll ever be ready to face that again. I've never doubted or regretted my decision it was 100% the right thing to do for him and I'd do it again if I had to but I'd rather not.

 

[meleeka]

It sounds like you are due to be running out of bad luck soon so that’s a positive

Ive no advice but to say horses are pretty rubbish really and break more often than not, so I don’t think it’s that uncommon. You sound like a caring and sensitive owner so I think it would be unfair not to have a horse in your life.

Sending a virtual hug x

 

[LadyGascoyne]

I’m really sorry that you’re going through this again.

It is very unlikely to be anything you are doing, I suppose my only thought would be to consider the kind of horses you are buying and how they have been produced up to the point that you have bought them.

I think the first one sounds like you were massively deceived, and I would write that off as an acute instance of someone else’s dishonesty and not something that is likely to occur ever again.

The second two are both 6/7, and this might be considered to be the age at which a horse starts to undertake more serious work. Any inherent weaknesses may be prone to surfacing at this stage.

I think this is especially relevant in sports-bred horses who are really starting to use themselves at this point, and are often on the larger side so more strain is involved. I think it is probably more common than you think.

There is a thought that buying a more mature horse means it is past the point where those issues tend to arise - but then you run into age-related wear and tear faster too.

 

[milliepops]

Horses are shockingly badly designed. They are balancing a huge amount of weight on what basically amounts to a finger at each corner.

Their digestive system is an actual nightmare, they cant regurgitate anything they shouldn't eat, apparently have no sense about what they should or shouldn't eat, and to pass anything it's got to get through a 180 bend in the intestines!

They have a ridiculously small brain for their size so they're often relying on reaction rather than thought and therefore randomly will have completely stupid accidents. Honestly it's a miracle any of them ever make old bones.

I think the people who are "lucky" often are either not doing enough with their horses for issues to become apparent, or are trotting along oblivious to the small things that the likes of us on here would question. That's not a slur or anything, but we are on a horse forum for a reason - usually to find out more about something, it's not a social thing its specific. And, even if you did come on here to be sociable, with the amount of collective knowledge and experience there is you are inevitably going to absorb some of it and become more aware of things.

Have you been unlucky? Yes. Are there likely loads of slightly crocked horses in the world plodding along? Yes. Are you a great owner for listening and noticing before it really became a huge problem? Yes.

I'm so sorry that you've ended up in this situation, my heart literally aches for anyone in your place. I didnt have the courage for it. I had my boy pts at the age of 9 fourteen years and 10 days ago. I've never been able to face another, I love my riding still and enjoy what I'm doing but I'm not sure I'll ever be ready to face that again. I've never doubted or regretted my decision it was 100% the right thing to do for him and I'd do it again if I had to but I'd rather not.

this is a good post. I always joke about needing a spare, and it's the reason I have ended up with 6(!) but I'm serious really, the thought of just having one horse that all the hopes and dreams are pinned on really scares me. Even with the best luck in the world things can still go wrong sometimes completely out of the blue. Being a one horse owner is hard going emotionally. it's bad enough when there are spares

 

[Errin Paddywack]

I think you are just unlucky. You definitely ARE cut out to be a horse owner and any horse would be lucky to be owned by you. You surely have to have some good luck coming your way soon, fingers crossed.
Hoping for better news about your boy.

 

[ihatework]

Hey, no this is just horses!!!

They are creatures not designed to be ridden so it’s a combination of experience in selecting the right one, management and a huge chunk of pot luck.

Over the years I’ve seen all sorts.

Stalwart horses that carry on regardless with their owners either completely oblivious or very much aware and managing/adapting for the horse.

Utter divas that just can’t deal with ridden life, either mentally or physically.

Fundamentally sound animals that are made lame by really poor management/training or being asked to do the wrong job

Fundamentally sound horses with hyperchondriac owners

And the list goes on. If I’m honest I’ve probably dabbled in most of those categories myself at some point or another.

You sound like you are at that stage where the horsey honeymoon is over and the stark reality has hit, that it’s difficult and expensive keeping horses ?

 

[MissTyc]

So much sympathy for you, OP. I also agree with the shockingly bad design post.
I almost gave up a few times myself, but I always come grovelling back. Just love it too much, despite all the heartache.
My friend lost her horse of a lifestime to a shocking colic aged 9. For 6 months, she hung around the yard like a spare part, then bought a little sportshorse mare ... who turned out to have kissing spine. She had the surgery and was told 6 months slow rehab so friend bought a lovely little cob - the sort that lives forever - to tide her over. Long story shore, mare and cob died within days of each other in completely unrelated and unpreventable situations. I mean, w the actual f? And yet, she has a horse again, too ...

 

[BBP]

Horses are shockingly badly designed. They are balancing a huge amount of weight on what basically amounts to a finger at each corner.

Their digestive system is an actual nightmare, they cant regurgitate anything they shouldn't eat, apparently have no sense about what they should or shouldn't eat, and to pass anything it's got to get through a 180 bend in the intestines!

They have a ridiculously small brain for their size so they're often relying on reaction rather than thought and therefore randomly will have completely stupid accidents. Honestly it's a miracle any of them ever make old bones.

I think the people who are "lucky" often are either not doing enough with their horses for issues to become apparent, or are trotting along oblivious to the small things that the likes of us on here would question. That's not a slur or anything, but we are on a horse forum for a reason - usually to find out more about something, it's not a social thing its specific. And, even if you did come on here to be sociable, with the amount of collective knowledge and experience there is you are inevitably going to absorb some of it and become more aware of things.

Have you been unlucky? Yes. Are there likely loads of slightly crocked horses in the world plodding along? Yes. Are you a great owner for listening and noticing before it really became a huge problem? Yes.

I'm so sorry that you've ended up in this situation, my heart literally aches for anyone in your place. I didnt have the courage for it. I had my boy pts at the age of 9 fourteen years and 10 days ago. I've never been able to face another, I love my riding still and enjoy what I'm doing but I'm not sure I'll ever be ready to face that again. I've never doubted or regretted my decision it was 100% the right thing to do for him and I'd do it again if I had to but I'd rather not.

This in spades. You are neither useless nor unlucky, horses are just designed to break. I have one horse. I can only afford one horse in both time and money. And he is determined to not be a riding horse. He is fragile, physically and mentally. He is 15 and has lived about 15 years longer than he would have in the wild. I have great facilities and fabulous hacking, I moved my whole life to get to this place to have a wonderful horsey life. And yet I can’t ride. It’s not bad luck, it’s just horses. As with humans they are just bone and muscle and tissue, they get sore, they break, just like us. We forget how few perfectly healthy humans there are out there, let alone horses. But I have to admit, when I look ahead to a day when my beautiful lad is no longer with me, it does make me wonder if I will get another riding horse. The whole buying saga seems so difficult, just to find one that might break the next day. Maybe I’m just cut out to keep the injured and retired.

 

[Cortez]

Meh, it's just horses. As many have said, they are prone to myriad injuries and problems, some fixable, many not. They are also not that long lived, so over our lifetimes there will be many horses to love, cherish, worry over and sadly say goodbye to.

If you cannot deal with these realities, then horses are not for you, but FWIW I think you are doing a fine job caring for the ones you've had. Chin up; us horse keepers have to be tough.

 

[Dyllymoo]

Thanks all... I just don't think I'm cut out for all the heartache. I don't ever seem to be able to get going having fun, I literally seem to be rehabbing. Poor J has only just got me out of my confidence crisis and we have had a handful of fun rides, and now this.

I think J will be my last. My OH persuaded me to get another after my mare (I swore she was my last), but this time I am definitely done.

 

[SEL]

Oh its tough isn't it? I've got 3 in the field I can't ride right now and have wondered whether I've done something very wrong to upset the god of horse ownership!

The old boy owes nobody anything and I'm jut chuffed he's having such a wonderful summer because last winter was awful. Next winter? Well we won't talk about that decision unless I've had a bottle of gin.

My big mare has been broken since she was 4 I think. I'd never heard of PSSM back then but wouldn't wish a symptomatic horse on my worst enemy. She's such fun to have around though and has come on so much in the time I've had her, but I do wish she'd stop bouncing from one problem to another.

The little mare was new this year, was supposed to be my back up fun project. Serious pollen allergy in July and currently out of work whilst we get specialist steroids into her. She is an incredibly sweet and genuine pony but I really don't want another field pet!!

So no, its not just you. I think there are a huge number of people riding around on 'not quite right' horses. Either they can't see or feel the problem or they don't want to because that would inconvenience them.

 

[ForeverBroke_]

You only have to scroll through the various different pages on this forum to see the most common thread is generally about horses with a veterinary problem/ailment, or a dodgy dealer, mis-sold horse, horse being PTS...so its definitely just something we have to suck up and try to deal with each time around, sadly. It can be totally demorarilising but all the while you are 'showing up' for our four-legged friends then you're doing something right.

I agree with SEL that 60% of the people we see out having a good time and without a care in the world probably just aren't as receptive to what might be going on with their horse.

 

[Cortez]

You don't have to be a horse owner to enjoy and appreciate horses though. I am just about to say goodbye to my last horse (don't panic: he's going to a retirement home with a friend), and don't plan on having another. If I do get the urge to ride again it will be either at a riding stable or on a friends' horse. I have had more than 50 years of owning and caring for horses and frankly I have had enough of the responsibility, worry, and hard labour involved. Time to retire and enjoy lots of fond memories. I'll ride if I want, but at the moment I have had enough.

 

[Goldenstar]

No it’s just horses .

 

[FinnishLapphund]

Thanks all... I just don't think I'm cut out for all the heartache. I don't ever seem to be able to get going having fun, I literally seem to be rehabbing. Poor J has only just got me out of my confidence crisis and we have had a handful of fun rides, and now this.

I think J will be my last. My OH persuaded me to get another after my mare (I swore she was my last), but this time I am definitely done.

If you talked to one veterinarian yesterday, and is waiting on referrals, I presume this is something that have happened quite recently, so I would suggest that you don't make any permanent decisions about potential future horse-owning until you've given it a bit of time.
What might feel impossible to risk going through again when the feelings are in turmoil, might feel worth the risk again after awhile, when things have had time to calm down a bit.

 

[Goldenstar]

It’s heartbreaking sometimes when Harvey went wrong I was heartbroken I loved him so much he suited me perfectly .
But I just dusted my self off and got another .
I have had awful times in the past when bad luck seemed relentless but does just come with the game .
but just keep going the good fun does come .

 

[IrishMilo]

this is a good post. I always joke about needing a spare, and it's the reason I have ended up with 6(!) but I'm serious really, the thought of just having one horse that all the hopes and dreams are pinned on really scares me.

What scares me is collecting more and more and having 6 who end up useless. I can just about cope with the hassle of one!

(Post is tongue-in-cheek, obviously )

 

[milliepops]

What scares me is collecting more and more and having 6 who end up useless. I can just about cope with the hassle of one!

(Post is tongue-in-cheek, obviously )

haha well that is a possibility - at that point I think some need to be, um, taken out of circulation. 6 is my max! it's too many really but one is probably due for downsizing before too long

 

[Dyllymoo]

Well I've just had J's report from the vet and I guess they have to just be clinical. Its so hard as the referral vet have said they will call me today..... I know they have more than me to call but it just feels like time is standing still....

"On presentation Jonny was bright and alert. Clinical examination showed the left forelimb to have a ‘toe in’ conformation but was otherwise largely unremarkable. The current shoes have been in place for 5 weeks and Jonny is due to be re-shod. Flexion, extension and lateral range of motion of the neck was good. Dynamic examination showed a mild (grade 1/10) left forelimb lameness observed on a straight line and on the lunge.

Neurological examination showed an intermittent, but repeatable, ‘toe drag’ of the left forelimb while backing up, such that the foot was dragged along the floor rather than the foot being lifted off the ground. The placement of the right forelimb during backing up had a normal foot flight arc. All other neurological tests were within normal limits.

Radiographic examination of the caudal cervical spine (neck) revealed moderate enlargement of the C5-6 articular process joints, with a smooth bony contour (Image 1). Ultrasound examination of the left C5-6 articular process joint revealed an irregular bony contour at the joint margin.

Summary:

Overall there are moderate changes to the C5-6 articular process joints. There are several nerves that exit the spinal cord at this level and innervate (provide sensation and motor function to) the forelimb, as such changes in the articular process joints can interfere with these nerves. In addition, the changes in the articular process joints can cause compression of the spinal cord itself. Due to the safety concerns during ridden exercise, further investigation in the form of a CT scan was discussed."

 

[milliepops]

it's hard to see things in black and white but you are doing the best for your lovely horse by getting these investigations. it sucks as a human but I think for your own sanity you have to just think of it from the horse's POV. and he's lucky to have someone prepared to find out what's wrong with him and what can be done to help him.

 

[Ceriann]

Thanks all... I just don't think I'm cut out for all the heartache. I don't ever seem to be able to get going having fun, I literally seem to be rehabbing. Poor J has only just got me out of my confidence crisis and we have had a handful of fun rides, and now this.

I think J will be my last. My OH persuaded me to get another after my mare (I swore she was my last), but this time I am definitely done.

You’re feeling low now which is perfectly understandable, you’ve had a horrid time. Life with horses has its ups and downs. My OH thinks im bonkers (but tolerates with good humour now) as I have 3 only 1 of which I ride. 1 of the 2 Unridden ones really did a number on me - broke a few bones and my confidence. My ridden one now is the other side of 18 months of rehab - it’s hard, frustrating and sometimes fun isn’t on the agenda but I wouldn’t swap it for a life without them. There are very good times - my current ridden mare took me to my first dressage test, won me a few, taught me lots of moves I didn’t know about and now during rehab she’s taught me to like hacking again.

 

[Denbob]

I'm so sorry you're going through this, I agree with other posters that you have had rotten luck but also that you have done the right thing by all in not ignoring it. J is very lucky to have an owner who is knowledgeable enough to spot a problem and cares enough to investigate.

 

[Buster2020]

i Don’t blame you for feeling like that you are having rotten luck when it comes to horses . Horse are stressful I sometimes think to myself are they even worth it.

 

[HazuraJane]

Your feelings are what they are for a reason. You've had rotten luck. I'm sorry.