Amusing Comments From Instructors?

Only ha Boo a month, she kept tanking off with me, leaping the fence and galloping up the field.
Everytime this happened RI would scream.
"WOOOO STAMPEDE! Sit Up! WTF HAS HAPPENED TO YOUR JUMPING POSITION OVER THAT FENCE (Literally.. a fence... post and rail)."
"KIRSTY SIT UP!"
After 6 tankings off with RI got on...

Boo behaves herself for first 2 minutes.. Ri say..

"Oh its a doddle, I dont know what you were having problems with, shes an ang...."
By this point, Boo had broncoed, spun round, tanked to the fence, leapt it, landed, handstand, RI flew off... Boo tanks off up the field.
I ran over and RI says...

"Now THAT is how you jump that fence... you dont see ME getting galloped off with up the field now, do you?!"
HA!
I just stayed on longer!

Also had..

"She's flabby, unfit, hairy and shes a gobby little sh*t, but she rides you so well Boo!"
:O
 
These are great... I am writing down the best ones for use on my kids tomorrow!

My favourite comment from instructor was about gaining the horse's trust to set them up right for a fenceand he asked me

'If we were a skydiving team and I packed your parachute and every 3 or 4 times I didn't bother to pack it right, how often would you keep jumping out of the plane?'.

Also had
'if you were driving a car and you only used the accelerator and brake and never bothered to steer you wouldn't get very far would you? So why do with the horse?'

'If he starts bucking you're going to tense up pretty quick anyway, so why waste energy tensing up now?' (very reassuring when I was riding a difficult youngster LOL)
 
Tried a very sharp horse out to buy at Lynn Russells yard, it was far too good for me, although she initally said I rode it well (you have to try to sell them somehow)!!....... till it took off with me towards the fence at the end of the school, I sat back and took a pull whereby it jammed on the brakes!!!!
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I returned to Lynn and said oh its got a nice soft mouth then
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to which she replied.......

Yes he has and dont **** it up till you have paid for him!!!!!

Luckily she was also killing herself laughing so i didnt feel too ashamed!!
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And no i didnt buy him!!
 
Some I've had in the last 19yrs!
"If you pull on that rein again I'll tie it on with a piece of tail hair then you'll be in trouble!"
"If you don't sit up I'll tie yor pony tail to the horse's tail!"
When fiddling too much on the way in 2 a jump, was told to look at instructor instead, reminded by "Look at ME you horrid little person! There wasn't that better"
"woah,woah,woah, stop,stop! What on EARTH are you doing??!" Got the wrong stride to a fence
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"Get some red meat down your neck and ride it like a man!" I'm a 5ft2 girl on a 16.2hh IDXTB!
"Wot on earth are you doing down there you silly little s**g" Fell off!
Overheard on exam day when not enough horses were available: Groom "should we use him, we've not seen him jump yet, don't know what he'll be like?" Instructor "Go to his stable and shout BOO! That can be his 1st jumping lesson" Imagine my 'delight' when said horse was lead out and given to me!
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Will post if I think of anymore! Loving the thread tho'! LMAO!!
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