Anyone else just think they can't do this?

sitch said:
Give her a break guys. When your down everything feels worse then it is.
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Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Oh - you are a newbie.

You clearly don't know Cedars, her previous IDs and fantasies.

Slinkyunicorn has her to a T. Thank the lord that finally others are beginning to see what I have seen for years. :D
 
Cedars said:
I love him, I love our life and I do want to spend the rest of my life with him and being his-but I'm just at a breaking point with this now!
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Being 'HIS'?????

Nobody possesses another person. What is it that makes you feel so pathetically grateful to be in a relationship with him?

And really... you haven't said anything else that implies you love your life together.

Is it some kind of status thing? You like having a boyfriend who rides, and whose mother has a smart yard? And you're grateful that out of all the girls who'd love such a catch, he 'keeps' you?

Love is blind? Ten years down the line, let's hope you have really learned what love means.
 
I love him, I love our life and I do want to spend the rest of my life with him and being his-but I'm just at a breaking point with this now!

If you loved your life (as it is at the moment) so much, why the original post?
As I said before, LEAVE, they are a bunch of users. If the guy loved you he wouldn't treat you like this. As for the mother in law....
 
Sidesaddle said:
Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Oh - you are a newbie.

You clearly don't know Cedars, her previous IDs and fantasies.

Slinkyunicorn has her to a T. Thank the lord that finally others are beginning to see what I have seen for years. :D
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Hi Sidesaddle, I'm pretty new too and I'm confused. Do you mean that this is made up? :( That would be a pretty wicked thing to do, why would someone make up unkind things about their partner and post them online? :confused:
 
Shygirl, it's not made up, SideSaddle has an issue that my life isn't rosy and i come here fr support-may well be her favourite sport to stalk me round the board (particularly as she has no interest in horses so why is she in NL?)

I was previously Flamehead, and as allowed by TFC I changed to Cedars, but both accounts are merged so you can see every post of mine from day one. Xx
 
But surely one of the whole points of this forum is to get help and advice when things aren't going well or when you're unsure of the best thing to do??? I think I'm even more confused now....... : )
Never mind! And I don't want to read previous posts, I was just unsure as to what Sidesaddle meant by her comment as it seemed very strong.
 
Don't worry shygirl, we're all confused by her too!

When I was a bit younger, struggling and without the support for my illness I have now, I relied on the forum a lot and came across v needy. Which sidesaddle couldnt cope with. Bit sad for a middle aged woman who supposedly taught teenagers though.

Xx
 
Cedars said:
Don't worry shygirl, we're all confused by her too!

When I was a bit younger, struggling and without the support for my illness I have now, I relied on the forum a lot and came across v needy. Which sidesaddle couldnt cope with. Bit sad for a middle aged woman who supposedly taught teenagers though.

Xx
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Come on, C, you haven't always been entirly straight! For example, I was under the impression that it was 'your' yard (as in yours and your BF's) 'your' school (were you not interviewed by H&H about how 'you'd' spent a lot of money on having the school put in?), etc, and I always wondered how such a young couple, one a student, could afford to own a house and a yard in quite an expensive part of the country. Turns out it's his mother's and you're not even allowed to use it!
 
It is our yard-I've always said it was funded by my MIL! interestingly actually HHO knew that when they reported it but didnt put it in the report because I think it's a bit too long winded!
 
Cedars said:
It is our yard-I've always said it was funded by my MIL! interestingly actually HHO knew that when they reported it but didnt put it in the report because I think it's a bit too long winded!
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I don't remember reading anything about your BF's mother funding anything, but I do remember reading something about your BF not getting on with his family, having to 'fight' to keep his horse and having saved for years to pay for an eventer (which he now has, right?)

If my son's GF went round telling the world that my property was hers, I might feel that she needed putting back in her place!
 
Cedars said:
Shygirl, it's not made up, SideSaddle has an issue that my life isn't rosy and i come here fr support-may well be her favourite sport to stalk me round the board (particularly as she has no interest in horses so why is she in NL?)

I was previously Flamehead, and as allowed by TFC I changed to Cedars, but both accounts are merged so you can see every post of mine from day one. Xx
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1. I have no issues, dear. You are the ones with a barrowload according to your many self pitying, attention seeking, whining posts over the time you have been here.

2. The reason I came in NL was cos of the PMs I got telling me of your latest "fantasy"/"moan"/"tall tale" (take your pick as to which poster you choose).

3. Stalk? Still, makes a change from being called a bully! :D :D :D

Cedars said:
Don't worry shygirl, we're all confused by her too!

When I was a bit younger, struggling and without the support for my illness I have now, I relied on the forum a lot and came across v needy. Which sidesaddle couldnt cope with. Bit sad for a middle aged woman who supposedly taught teenagers though.
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1. Violins at the ready.

2. Came across? You still do! ME ME ME ME ME. Why don't you just post a thread saying that every day? It would bring you the attention you so badly crave.

3. My dear girl - no supposedly about it. I did indeed teach 11-18 year olds for many years which is why I can smell a rat from 100 paces.
 
Phew, that's a relief, I thought we were back with Theo and Ofilia for a while there. No sign of Lucas Fielding though, or do I mean Buttons?

The difference between a fantasist and a victim is the amount of noise they make IME:(
 
palomino698 said:
Being 'HIS'?????

Nobody possesses another person. What is it that makes you feel so pathetically grateful to be in a relationship with him?

And really... you haven't said anything else that implies you love your life together.

Is it some kind of status thing? You like having a boyfriend who rides, and whose mother has a smart yard? And you're grateful that out of all the girls who'd love such a catch, he 'keeps' you?

Love is blind? Ten years down the line, let's hope you have really learned what love means.
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marmalade76 said:
Come on, C, you haven't always been entirly straight! For example, I was under the impression that it was 'your' yard (as in yours and your BF's) 'your' school (were you not interviewed by H&H about how 'you'd' spent a lot of money on having the school put in?), etc, and I always wondered how such a young couple, one a student, could afford to own a house and a yard in quite an expensive part of the country. Turns out it's his mother's and you're not even allowed to use it!
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Cedars said:
It is our yard-I've always said it was funded by my MIL! interestingly actually HHO knew that when they reported it but didnt put it in the report because I think it's a bit too long winded!
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Cedars: whatever the real situation in you home life it clearly is not suiting you.

I see a number of similarities on some levels with me, My OH owns a lot of land, he has built stables where we live, it is my home but not my house, my contribution was food, cooking and cleaning. I did try to contribute more, but was not allowed (it was covered by the business) we both work full time, At many points I have had this flung in my face during arguments, we have had episodes where he cheated, then he became violent:(:( I suspect that your concept of breaking point is, not the same as mine. We are still together five years down the line and engaged, but would I still be here if someone told me what I would have to trapse through to get here? No! I did the bit where I was hurt, and grumbled about the injustice of it all, I was grateful for a partner who had a house, stables and land, I did not think it gave him the right for his behaviour or attitude. So I got some self respect and took control of my life, in all honesty, walking out on him for good would have not been a problem for me (I won't possibly go into the depths of detail I could on a public forum), It is why I considered moving counties, I moved my horses, I stopped doing anything for him, if I wanted to talk to him, I would, if not I diverted the calls so I could have peace. I took my life back and it was his choice if he followed me. It takes a certain type of person to change who they are from Victim to Cold Hearted/Strong Independent. I am a lot harsher, less forgiving, colder than I used to be, I still love him and am with him, will I always be with him for ever and ever and ever? probably not, love him as I do, and knowing his attitude about the house is just something to hurt me in an argument, he is still a ******, and I have changed because of it, I love him and am with him, I don't dislike it anymore but my fluffy wuffy focus has gone and I feel I am too hardened and selfish, If I didn't have him, I certainly wouldn't want someone else and not because I would be pining. I find I have an ability to zone out and switch my emotions off very quickly.

I don't really care what your true situation is, whether you cry wolf, use HHO to whinge and get pity or lie and mislead magazines. What is certain is that you will have to change who you are dramatically, you need to stop whining, get self respect and a backbone and take charge of your life if you don't like it. If he is worth it, he will follow (he will probably follow if he isn't worth it too). If it was me, I would leave things now since you have had the chat with your OH, I would get the horse put in my name, and if things didn't change I would walk, I wouldn't be reminding anyone a second time and I wouldn't be putting up with cr ap, and I would certainly be doing a hell of a lot more than going online winging about it.
 
Cedars, you do seem to spend an awfully long time mooning about on line writing about how you feel and what you think you might do - just get up off your butt and DO something. What about your Uni work if you've gor time on your hands! Or go and po pick. Anything, rather than sit about feeling sorry for yourself.
 
Just a little puzzled here - at one point when somebody suggested on here that your parents might help you out - you described your relationship with them as they had been abusive, they arent interested in you and the relationship had totally broken down.

But on searching some previous threads you talk about them paying for a holiday for you and BF to go to Greece with them? Surely if they are prepared to do this they have more than a passing involvement in your life???? You also talk elsewhere about your MIL being OK as MIL's go?

Just that things aren't quite adding up now I have done a little research? :confused: I do so hate it when I feel great concern for someone and then I start to wonder if I may have been duped by an attention seeker?:(
 
Cedars if you love your life and your OH so much and if you're now sure that your BFs mother will take a bit more responsibility for her horse then surely you knew this all along? In which case why bother starting this thread? There are always two sides to every story and I wonder if the same story would be told if by your BF or his mother.

Many of your threads Cedars/Flamehead have been deleted. I often feel sorry for new posters who take you at face value. You've been banned from this forum a few times when your aggressive nature got the better of you again, so it's not quite as simple as saying to new posters that they can read every single post you've ever made because many of your posts are no longer viewable. I do think it was a great shame that you alienated and upset some very kind posters recently. I for one felt very humbled by the depth of concern shown and the genuine offers made to you at that time.
 
grumpyoldmare said:
Just a little puzzled here - at one point when somebody suggested on here that your parents might help you out - you described your relationship with them as they had been abusive, they arent interested in you and the relationship had totally broken down.

But on searching some previous threads you talk about them paying for a holiday for you and BF to go to Greece with them? Surely if they are prepared to do this they have more than a passing involvement in your life???? You also talk elsewhere about your MIL being OK as MIL's go?

Just that things aren't quite adding up now I have done a little research? :confused: I do so hate it when I feel great concern for someone and then I start to wonder if I may have been duped by an attention seeker?:(
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I was too, when I first arrived, and felt irritated at myself for doing so. Don't worry, it's not your fault at all, many here see this poster now in a whole new light...:D

Spring Feather said:
Cedars if you love your life and your OH so much and if you're now sure that your BFs mother will take a bit more responsibility for her horse then surely you knew this all along? In which case why bother starting this thread? There are always two sides to every story and I wonder if the same story would be told if by your BF or his mother.

Many of your threads Cedars/Flamehead have been deleted. I often feel sorry for new posters who take you at face value. You've been banned from this forum a few times when your aggressive nature got the better of you again, so it's not quite as simple as saying to new posters that they can read every single post you've ever made because many of your posts are no longer viewable. I do think it was a great shame that you alienated and upset some very kind posters recently. I for one felt very humbled by the depth of concern shown and the genuine offers made to you at that time.
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I also feel sorry for new posters too, but hold back now with what I really want to say, because I don't want to be labelled a bully, as I have been previously, just for picking up inconsistences of a tall tale. I don't like being called something I'm not, just for giving my opinion as to how I feel after being taken for a mug...
 
Totally agree with you DragonSlayer. Cedars/Flamehead has called me a bully too, when I have finally felt compelled to point out the many inconsistencies in her various 'all about Cedars' epic tales :rolleyes: I generally just have a little smirk now when I read her tall tales because she posts so many contradictory things. I do sometimes wonder which bits, if any, are true :confused: :rolleyes:
 
I too used to feel very sorry for the OP, but those of us with a little intelligence soon recognise the inconsistencies in her posts. It doesn't take long to search back through the other posts, although, as DragonSlayer says, if a thread doesn't go her way then she has it deleted.

Crying wolf is a very foolish act, one day she will have a genuine and serious problem and no one will listen to her. I predict that if she doesn't have this thread deleted this evening then we will get the 'abused person with psychological problems who needs much counselling' played yet again, in an effort to extricate herself and gain sympathy.

Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to decieve....
 
Ladyinred said:
I too used to feel very sorry for the OP, but those of us with a little intelligence soon recognise the inconsistencies in her posts. It doesn't take long to search back through the other posts, although, as DragonSlayer says, if a thread doesn't go her way then she has it deleted.

Crying wolf is a very foolish act, one day she will have a genuine and serious problem and no one will listen to her. I predict that if she doesn't have this thread deleted this evening then we will get the 'abused person with psychological problems who needs much counselling' played yet again, in an effort to extricate herself and gain sympathy.

Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to decieve....
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I can't comment on whether this story is true or not I've had no experience of the OP. Just wanted to add a couple of things.

It is not unusual for someone who has suffered abuse in their past to crave attention, even if this is a fantasy it doesn't necessarily mean that the stuff about her past isn't true. Even if she is making it all up then IMO she still warrants sympathy as she must be very sad, lonely and have a very empty life to go to such lengths.

Cedars whether everything you've said in the post is 100% true or not I hope you find a resolution and some peace and happiness in your life. Either way I feel sad for you as you seem unhappy.

Also I am a teacher, and sorry hun but Uni is the easy part! It only gets more emotionally demanding and time consuming as you start to teach full time. If you are finding it that difficult to manage now I think you need to seriously give some though to whether this is the career for you. I regularly work a 60 hour week and although the holidays make you more flexible I'll work through most of them too. e.g. I was in school 2 full days of last half term (1 week) to do revision school a third day to catch up on my marking and did roughly 5 hours of stuff at home. So of the five days off I worked 3 and half! It's a brilliant job but it's not easy.
 
Well I feel a total t*t now for posting such a sympathetic thread earlier on in the thread - especially now I realise I was sucked in by the same poster on the thread about a poor young dog that was PTS for dubious reasons.:mad:

I could throttle people like this who play on other peoples natural concern and good nature - so call me a bully - I can live with that!:mad: I dont know how she lives with herself though?:confused:
 
grumpyoldmare said:
Well I feel a total t*t now for posting such a sympathetic thread earlier on in the thread - especially now I realise I was sucked in by the same poster on the thread about a poor young dog that was PTS for dubious reasons.:mad:

I could throttle people like this who play on other peoples natural concern and good nature - so call me a bully - I can live with that!:mad: I dont know how she lives with herself though?:confused:
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Don't worry, many of us have been there.

:D

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If this is true, then I am also annoyed I too got sucked in :( I am pretty gullible unfortunately.

I am struggling to see how someone with such issues is hoping to go on and teach young, impressionable and vulnerable children who in fact need a strong, mentally stable and adult role model to teach them life lessons, not someone who appears to be as confused with life as this young lady appears to be?

This is all rather confusing!!
 
I think the disenchanted are a step or so behind me. I've been where you are now with this poster. She has utterly hated me. I've moved on. I do understand where she is coming from. I know she needs help. She isn't trying to deliberately wind anyone up in the way a troll does, what she posts is absolutely how she feels at the time.

She needs the love and attention shown by those outraged for her. She needs love and attention full stop. I hope she grows out of it, but at the moment she has a place of safety, having been in a similar mess myself I feel she needs to grow away from it rather than be encouraged to leave without a realistic backup plan. "Realistic" is not something she's able to arrange for herself, or maintain, right now.
 
Cedars your comment about you loving your OH to the bottom of your heart and back made me think. Does he feel the same for you? It seems to me like he knows how struggling and miserable you are but is quite happy to allow it to still happen :confused:
If you all can't cope with 4 horses then don't have them. Especially when from what you have said his mother doesnt seem capable of looking after her horse.
I hope you get it sorted fairly but it seems whilst relying on his mother for so much theres not alot you can do.
 
dressagelove said:
I am struggling to see how someone with such issues is hoping to go on and teach young, impressionable and vulnerable children who in fact need a strong, mentally stable and adult role model to teach them life lessons, not someone who appears to be as confused with life as this young lady appears to be?
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Truth be told, that has always been my fear.
 
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