Are horses members of the family like dogs are?

[Boughtabay]

Mine are - but they’re kept at home so I know I won’t have to say goodbye until the final one. I’d not be emotionally resilient enough to sell one

 

[Bellalily]

Taken during lockdown. It pretty much says exactly how much they mean to me Video is further on

 

[cold_feet]

No, I've never had a pet horse and wouldn't want one. Dogs, on the other and have no purpose other than to be companions in my house. I've been very fond of most of the horses I've had over many years, but they were there for a purpose and I have not been overly sentimental about them. I've been required to ride horses that I actively disliked and I like to think that I treated them exactly the same way as those I was fond of.

Nobody needs to expend any pity for well cared for horses.

I have a horse. He is well cared for. He does a job for me, lets me enjoy riding. I do what’s best for him. But he is not a pet. And not part of the family . If I had the luxury of keeping him at home perhaps it would be different, but he is on livery, and I am not central to his life.
ETA although he is central to mine.

 

[ycbm]

"I deliberately bought a horse that has never known what it is to be a pet, so he can't miss it."

Yup. I pity him. Same as I do quite a lot of Racehorses. It's not an ideal situation so we make the best of what we can whilst we look after them in the hope that when they leave racing they will get everything they have ever wanted or deserved. To come out into their full personalities and to have their very own human. You sound as though you are just going to dump the poor horse on livery and just ride it when you feel like but make no effort to like to appreciate the horse.

I can assure you that your negative interpretation of what I wrote is incorrect.

 

[cold_feet]

"I deliberately bought a horse that has never known what it is to be a pet, so he can't miss it."

Yup. I pity him. Same as I do quite a lot of Racehorses. It's not an ideal situation so we make the best of what we can whilst we look after them in the hope that when they leave racing they will get everything they have ever wanted or deserved. To come out into their full personalities and to have their very own human. You sound as though you are just going to dump the poor horse on livery and just ride it when you feel like but make no effort to like to appreciate the horse.

Why would a horse want a human? Other than to provide the necessities of life, if they are not available naturally? They would much rather be with other horses I would have thought. My horse is on livery, he is well looked after, and yes loved. But he is not a pet.

 

[Time for Tea]

"I deliberately bought a horse that has never known what it is to be a pet, so he can't miss it."

Yup. I pity him. Same as I do quite a lot of Racehorses. It's not an ideal situation so we make the best of what we can whilst we look after them in the hope that when they leave racing they will get everything they have ever wanted or deserved. To come out into their full personalities and to have their very own human. You sound as though you are just going to dump the poor horse on livery and just ride it when you feel like but make no effort to like to appreciate the horse.

I think you can appreciate and care deeply for a horse without fully giving it your heart. Also hearts cannot be given to order.

 

[Clodagh]

Horses to me were somewhere between a dog and a car. I loved them but they were there to do a job. I kept them at home though so actually only ever sold two, the rest were retired then pts at home. I was lucky to have free keep and would never judge anyone for not bankrupting themselves to keep a retiree alive.
I adored Clodagh, my bestest bestie, and never got another that meant the same when she went after a kick in the field. Perhaps I just got more emotionally defensive.

 

[tristar]

i cannot stop myself from kissing them on the nose, but i respect anyone who cares well for their animals and perhaps rewards them with a caress for work well done as appropriate and does not kiss them on the nose, or get overly sentimental.

my older horse will wrap his neck around me and hug me, sometimes, i let him and hug him back because that is our relationship.

if horses enjoy their work and treated with kindness and respect and have company of their own kind, they are fairly lucky.

to take the relationship to a more intimate level is either a choice or a progression that just happens

i talk to mine when doing things, they love the human voice, i find they listen intently.

 

[Bellalily]

I have no idea how I would have coped without these two. They owe me nothing. Excuse the commentary

 

[ihatework]

I’m not sure I’d go quite as far as calling them family, ultimately they are horses and don’t live in my house.

That said there are definitely some that come close. The ones that irrespective of what they end up achieving ridden wise will be around until the end.

Others come & go

 

[ycbm]

i talk to mine when doing things, they love the human voice, i find they listen intently.

I don't know how people can be around horses without talking to them, I certainly can't.

 

[Alwaysmoretoknow]

When I lived in a normal house (before the dodgy self-build van) it wasn't uncommon to find the shitland in the living room watching TV with the crotch weevils. Suspect she would happily do the same now if she could fit through the doors and navigate the steps.

 

[scats]

I don't know how people can be around horses without talking to them, I certainly can't.

I’m fairly sure mine wish I’d shut up, I rabbit on that much to them

 

[Dave's Mam]

In our house the dogs are everyone's - but the horses are mine, and nobody else really deals with them, so it's very different that way. Also, the dogs are actually IN the house, involved in everything we do, unlike the horses. While I love the horses and could never imagine selling them, the rest of the family feel differently, so no, here they are not "family members" in the same way that the dogs are.

This. Cat lives in the house & is "family". Dave is on a yard, husband has nothing to do with him, so he's only mine.

 

[paddy555]

When I lived in a normal house (before the dodgy self-build van) it wasn't uncommon to find the shitland in the living room watching TV with the crotch weevils. Suspect she would happily do the same now if she could fit through the doors and navigate the steps.

they do get everywhere.

 

[Barton Bounty]

If this doesn’t make your heart fuzzy? Do you even have one

 

[LadyGascoyne]

Interesting… I think I categorise each horse differently.

Mimosa is a pet horse. Her value to me is not in being ridden or being useful but just being around. I would not sell her unless I thought it was in her best interests - her interests would come first if I wasn’t able to keep her in the comfort she deserves.

Miri is intended to be a riding horse. I really do want to be able to ride her so I am very much hoping we can get her sound enough to ride. If she doesn’t come sound, I’m fortunate to be able to let her graze at home as a field ornament but if I didn’t have that kind of set up then I’d probably put her on retirement livery or companion loan, and buy another ridden horse. I wouldn’t take on a horse if the reality was to keep it in ridden work or pts.

I suspect the real issue with the way we are approaching the question on this thread is that we are generalizing the relationship that humans have with dogs. I would imagine that there are people who work dogs, or have hunting dogs or guard dogs, who have different kinds of relationships with them. We may be oversimplifying the human/ dog relationship, and the human / horse relationship may look less complex if we acknowledged the nuances in people’s relationships with dogs.

Perhaps the question is, is a pet part of the family, and is your horse a pet?

 

[SO1]

I wish someone would sell me a quiet sound new forest.

I do think that people are not selling in the same way as they used to and not everyone has the skills to bring on a youngster or to take on ex racers or horses from rescue centres.

I did call up about a pony and that sounded amazing for riding they said the pony was a fantastic riding pony never put a foot wrong just not a cuddly pony as it pulled faces and could get grumpy in the stable. I think if I was just in it for the riding this pony would be fab but I had always said when I was looking for Homey that I needed a cuddly, friendly pony that liked interaction with humans so I could enjoy being around them once they retired. Homey never got to retire as he was still sound when I lost him to gastic problem.

Are people more likely to consider their horse as a pet if they have temperament that makes them cuddly.

I often read comments suggesting that the writer is critical of people who sell horses. Those people need to remember that nobody would be able to buy one if people didn't.

I also keep horses because i like to ride, Scats. I've only felt the kind of attachment that other people are talking about to one horse in my life. The pain when I lost him was overwhelming. It's a depth of attachment I'm planning to avoid repeating if I can, which is a lot easier now my horse is cared for by other people away from home. I have also deliberately bought a horse who has never known what it is to be a pet, so he can't miss it.
.

 

[Auslander]

I am Alf's chosen human, but I am not his chosen companion because I am not a horse - and I'm fine with that
Bruno (the elderly setter) is my shadow. He loves other people, and doesn't think a day is worth living if he hasn't had a cuddle from someone new, but he always has one eye on where I am, and if I walk away, he's back with me like a shot. He likes to be touching me at all times when we're on the sofa, and he thinks it's terribly unfair that he isn't allowed on my bed. He doesn't care for other dogs - so he's basically Team Me all the way

 

[SEL]

My horses greet me when I've been away. The Appy will yell loudly when I'm back to tell me off (much the same as the cat) & the little one who had the hobday will whicker as loudly as she can.

When I got M he'd come from a working background. Well looked after but never had "his" human. By the time I had to let him go he was like a big labrador loving spending time with me and OH.

But I spend a lot of time with my horses - it's not just a groom, ride, go home relationship

I also think if you have cats instead of dogs then you know it's possible to have family members who don't fawn all over you!!

 

[Cortez]

The UK is the only place I know of that lists “likes a cuddle” as a requirement for a horse. Horses that are constantly in your face are an absolute no-no for me and would be actively discouraged. But then, they’re not pets to me.

 

[timefort]

J is absolutely my pet. Yes I would spend more time with the dog as it would be at home with me, whereas J is at livery but she is very much part of my family and clearly I am part of hers. She comes away from the herd to have a chat if I'm in her field, and won't leave me at the gate when I turn out. I get shouted at when I arrive at the yard, and if I dare talk to another horse en route to her she door kicks - something she doesn't do at any other time, including at feed time.

Practically I couldn't bankrupt myself and family for her and indeed I bought her from her previous owner who had also taken that practicality (for which I am incredibly grateful), but I would take the same attitude towards the dog if the costs were similar. Realistically I have planned for her future probably better than I've planned my own!!

 

[stangs]

The UK is the only place I know of that lists “likes a cuddle” as a requirement for a horse. Horses that are constantly in your face are an absolute no-no for me and would be actively discouraged. But then, they’re not pets to me.

That’s one hell of a stereotype.

Plenty of people outside the UK who consider horses as pets and look for human-friendly behaviour. Plenty of people within the UK who don’t - most of the people know in the UK wouldn’t have that as a requirement.

 

[Cortez]

That’s one hell of a stereotype.

Plenty of people outside the UK who consider horses as pets and look for human-friendly behaviour. Plenty of people within the UK who don’t - most of the people know in the UK wouldn’t have that as a requirement.

I didn’t say everyone required it.

 

[ycbm]

The UK is the only place I know of that lists “likes a cuddle” as a requirement for a horse. Horses that are constantly in your face are an absolute no-no for me and would be actively discouraged. But then, they’re not pets to me.

I do like a horse that seems to want to be with humans. It was on the list of criteria that I sent to trainers. One of the reasons I've bought the one I have is that I came out of a barn and he saw me and chuckled. He'd only met me that morning, he had food and I wasn't carrying any treats. I'm a sucker for that low chuckle sound some of them make.

That’s one hell of a stereotype.

Plenty of people outside the UK who consider horses as pets and look for human-friendly behaviour. Plenty of people within the UK who don’t - most of the people know in the UK wouldn’t have that as a requirement.

You're right there, I meet people of all types.

 

[Bellalily]

My horses greet me when I've been away. The Appy will yell loudly when I'm back to tell me off (much the same as the cat) & the little one who had the hobday will whicker as loudly as she can.

When I got M he'd come from a working background. Well looked after but never had "his" human. By the time I had to let him go he was like a big labrador loving spending time with me and OH.

But I spend a lot of time with my horses - it's not just a groom, ride, go home relationship

I also think if you have cats instead of dogs then you know it's possible to have family members who don't fawn all over you!!

Must be an Appy thing as mine is the same and will keep calling until I call back

 

[Landcruiser]

Horses don't "love" us, and it's humanizing them to think they do. I believe horses can develop a strong relationship with us, built on trust and familiarity, and they can enjoy being with us, and having us groom and scratch them etc. But they don't think like we do - they are in the moment. It actually makes me cringe a bit when I hear "He loves cuddles" because he really doesn't, he can take it or leave it, or tolerate it, or at best enjoy the contact, but he's not surging with love or missing us, or worrying about us, or thinking of us when we're not there..because he's a horse. If we never reappeared, as long as he was fed and cared for and had equine company, he wouldn't miss us.

 

[Cortez]

I do like a horse that seems to want to be with humans. It was on the list of criteria that I sent to trainers. One of the reasons I've bought the one I have is that I came out of a barn and he saw me and chuckled. He'd only met me that morning, he had food and I wasn't carrying any treats. I'm a sucker for that low chuckle sound some of them make.




You're right there, I meet people of all types.

We all appreciate a horse that is happy to see us, but being stand-offish wouldn’t put me off. It’s just not something that is on my list of must-haves. Clingy, in-your-face horses are just rude.

ETA - the majority of my horses would nicker when they saw me, but that doesn’t signify “love”.

 

[scats]

Millie isn’t particularly cuddly, though she will tolerate it with relatively good grace. I don’t like ‘in your face’ horses to be honest, which is why I think I prefer mares as they tend to prefer everyone to have their own space.
Diva was cuddly in that if I went to give her a cuddle or kiss, she would actively move into me rather than give me that look of total disdain that Millie does

My first pony had a very bad reputation for being grumpy and prior to me getting her when I was a child, people used to enter her stable with a pitch fork to feed her. I rocked up and just treated her as normal, I recognised she didn’t want people in her space (though I would steal an occasional cuddle- I was only a child after all- but even she started to allow this after a while) and I never got bothered or offended by her behaviour and I realised early on she’d never actually bite or kick, she was just telling people that she didn’t want to be fussed over. The pitch forks were totally unnecessary

We built an incredible relationship that I do believe was cemented in the fact that I just accepted her without taking offence, or pushing her for more. As a result, she treated me with far more respect than she treated anyone else. I know love is a human emotion, but if I had to think of two horses that I feel may have felt something for me beyond being a walking feed room, it was my first pony and the Diva.

 

[ycbm]

Horses don't "love" us, and it's humanizing them to think they do. I believe horses can develop a strong relationship with us, built on trust and familiarity, and they can enjoy being with us, and having us groom and scratch them etc. But they don't think like we do - they are in the moment. It actually makes me cringe a bit when I hear "He loves cuddles" because he really doesn't, he can take it or leave it, or tolerate it, or at best enjoy the contact, but he's not surging with love or missing us, or worrying about us, or thinking of us when we're not there..because he's a horse. If we never reappeared, as long as he was fed and cared for and had equine company, he wouldn't miss us.

I think it's accepted now that some horses grieve for an equine friend who has left their lives. I don't see why some wouldn't also miss a human who's been a constant in their lives.
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