southerncomfort
Well-Known Member
If this doesn’t make your heart fuzzy? Do you even have one
That's so lovely BB.
Are horses members of the family like dogs are?
- Thread starter blitznbobs
- Start date
That's so lovely BB.
Barton Bounty
Just simply loving life with Orbi 🥰
Ive watched all their videos, that mare absolutely adores that little boy
J&S
Well-Known Member
A puppy, for instance, is "instant family", a pony or horse has to earn their place in "the family". The two I have at home now are definitely family. The NF mare was family, but the Chestnut nutter sadly never was and got sent back! Interestingly the two now at home have very different histories, the old mare is 26 and been with us since she was 3 yrs old, been riding pony for two generations of the family and done us proud. The companion pony came only 4 1/2 yrs ago, was a total blank, closed down canvas from a RS but has proved to be an absolute star and really earned her place in the family. There is definitely a two way relationship with both these ponies.
Gallop_Away
Well-Known Member
Mine are family through and through. They are as much a part of my family as our dogs and cats. Yes I have my horses for riding, but if the day comes where they can no longer be ridden, they will not be sold. They are my companions first and ridden horses second.
ownedbyaconnie
Well-Known Member
Yep mine is! She has a home with me till the end. If I can't afford another livery bill for a horse to ride when she is retired then so be it. Her welfare and happiness comes before my wish to ride.
Cortez
Tough but Fair
I have had one horse who recognised me and came cantering over through the swirling mists, whinnying Hollywood-style after years in another home when he heard my voice (there may have been choirs of angels too….), but that’s just one out of dozens*. And I have had a couple of horses that recognised each other after years apart too, but most move on and don’t seem to be concerned.
*did it make me feel all fuzzy? Of course it did: I’m not completely hard boiled.
ycbm
Einstein would be proud of my Insanity...
I think definitely choirs of angels
I agree most don't care, I've met horses I've sold and none of them appeared to know me. None of the horses left behind seemed bothered either, when I've sold or PTS.
Xmasha
Well-Known Member
Our horses are part of the family, but we do have different relationships/ depth of feeling with them versus the dog. i lost my dear old Asha last year, she was 24, she came to us a 5. I loved her dearly, we also lost Wallace last year ( golden retriever). The pain / grief that the whole family felt when Wallace past was far far greater, i was shocked at how we all felt. We love them all, but theres definitely more of a close bond with a dog.
My horses are always happy to see me, will nicker/ come running when called etc etc But theres nothing that beats the joy on your dogs face when he comes bounding over.
My horses are always happy to see me, will nicker/ come running when called etc etc But theres nothing that beats the joy on your dogs face when he comes bounding over.
tristar
Well-Known Member
hope she does get back to ridden, or something else comes along to ride, but what a lovely unselfish attitude
tristar
Well-Known Member
some people get close to dogs, some get close to horses.
those who get close to horses, have their eyes opened to a very special place, the interaction can be spectacular.
those who get close to horses, have their eyes opened to a very special place, the interaction can be spectacular.
Clodagh
Well-Known Member
I’ve always liked mares and I don’t think they want cuddles, on the whole. As I have always been so allergic as well one rubbing it’s head on me or into me would be discouraged.
Clodagh thought I was great as she absolutely thrived on work and adored hunting. She would take herself up the ramp if you left it down. I used to tack her up in the field in summer, jump her out if it, hack, jump back in and untack.
She interacted with me while I poo picked but cuddles, and in fact lengthy grooming sessions would have been anathema to her (and me).
Clodagh thought I was great as she absolutely thrived on work and adored hunting. She would take herself up the ramp if you left it down. I used to tack her up in the field in summer, jump her out if it, hack, jump back in and untack.
She interacted with me while I poo picked but cuddles, and in fact lengthy grooming sessions would have been anathema to her (and me).
J&S
Well-Known Member
I went to pick up a pony I had had out on loan for about 18 months when I moved to Devon. she definitely knew me! she cavorted round the field and virtually threw herself onto the waiting lorry!!
Clodagh
Well-Known Member
I went to pick up a mare who had been on loan, she too was ecstatic to see me. Even when I revisited her after years of not seeing her she definitely recognised me.
smolmaus
Well-Known Member
You should see our big orange boy when my OH comes home. He cries pitifully until father gets his butt on the couch for cuddle
In general I think you're right. They don't have to "love" us the way another species or a human would love us, you can appreciate the affection on their terms. There is a noticeable difference in how my pony treats me and everyone else. I joke that she bullies me and yells at me all the time but I think she just knows I listen so she communicates more. For everyone else she is just a placid little dope on a rope and that is as good as love for me.
My hamsters, god rest all of their little souls, were family even if they probably had about as much affection for me as the house plants do.
paddy555
Well-Known Member
we think our dogs love us. They run up to us overjoyed at our return. Yet are they really" If you walk down the dog runs at a rescue there will be several cages if you go in where the dog will have the same response. He can't love us, he has only seen us for a minute.
Does any animal have to love use? do all human family love each other, definitely not yet they are family.
Are cats part of a family. To my mind they are yet cats can go off for hours and certainly not all run to their human when they come home.
I think it depends also on your definition of family. We have very few relations. Our horses, cats and dog are our family. They are not mine they belong to both of us. They live at home and I fall over them when I walk out of the door. Sometimes I fall over them when I have forgotten to shut the door and they have arrived in the kitchen by themselves.
Many say the herd is the horse's family and if they all live in a herd that is true yet they don't. We constantly disrupt the herd. Take one member out to ride, take to a show for a few days. If we stable at night we disrupt the herd. Some come in, all come in,, they often don't have any contact with their herd mates.
I don't think we can judge a family by missing us, loving us, worrying about us. Many humans don't fit that criteria let alone animals.
paddy555
Well-Known Member
Likes a cuddle would be important to me. ( or at least likes affection) If I am going to pay a lot of money to support an animal I would rather have one that related too me and enjoyed being affectionate rather than a miserable git.
If you are paying a lot of money to buy and keep a horse you want something back other than a couple of hours trotting around the block. The other 22 hours in the day are also important.
LadyGascoyne
Well-Known Member
The only horse that Mim has cared about is Miri. It’s the funniest thing, that horse stepped off the transporter and Mimosa was besotted. When Miri went away for box rest, Mim was so stressed, and every time I came back from visiting Miri and then saw Mim, she would snort into my coat and lick my hands because she could smell her.
I’m not sure Miri feels the same, to be honest
I think Mim is just “horse friend” to Miri.
Gallop_Away
Well-Known Member
The only horse that Mim has cared about is Miri. It’s the funniest thing, that horse stepped off the transporter and Mimosa was besotted. When Miri went away for box rest, Mim was so stressed, and every time I came back from visiting Miri and then saw Mim, she would snort into my coat and lick my hands because she could smell her.
I’m not sure Miri feels the same, to be honest
I have two exactly like this. When I purchased my mare it was love at first sight for my husband's gelding. He can have 8 other horses out with him, including my other gelding, but if I take my mare out for a hack he calls pitifully for her until we return. She is very much HIS mare, despite there being several other mares in his field.
My mare on the other hand couldn't give a toss, can never be bothered to answer him and barely notices his absence when he is brought in to ride.
We had to keep husband's horse on box rest for a few days recently, when he was reunited with his herd he trotted over to my mare so happily, tail up. She barely sniffed his arse and walked off. He looked devastated
marmalade76
Well-Known Member
Not sure, they don't live at home like the dog does and whilst my dog absolutely adores me (not so much the husband and children), I would say my horses have been more important to me than she has and I even enjoy my hens more than the dog. Maybe because earning the friendship of hens takes more work, the dog it too desperate
Yes, lots can be like that but there are plenty who buck the trend. I've had horses that were absolute attention junkies, one an arab, another an ex-racehorse, other ponies that appeared to adore me, one that would neigh when he heard my car coming (so my YO would tell me). The horse I share my yard with now is also an attention seeker, anyone will do, he's and old hunter/ex comp horse. My little mare, whilst very sweet, is far more aloof but we're still getting to know each other I suppose.
One incident that will always stick in my mind - I was looking after a friend's horses while she was away for a few days, she returned as I was doing evening stables. One of her horses heard/saw her car return and he went mad with excitement, shouting out at the car and I know it wasn't cupboard love because he'd only just finished his dinner!
Totally this. It was quite obvious when I broke my leg last year. I left the house in the early morning as normal, but didn’t return until late evening. My dogs weren’t alone at any point, but when I got back that night, the three of them greeted me like I’d been gone for years and were clearly very worried about me. They barely left my side the whole time I was out of action.
The first time I went back to visit the horses, it had been 2 weeks. The last Polly saw of me was when I was lying in the middle of a field and she was galloping back home. Millie hadn’t seen me since I left that morning on Polly, only for Polly to return without me.
There’s a fabulous video somewhere on my FB of our first meeting again… it’s safe to say neither of them were particularly interested in the fact I was still alive
They are each others family and I’m just the staff member who pops in twice a day!
Yes, lots can be like that but there are plenty who buck the trend. I've had horses that were absolute attention junkies, one an arab, another an ex-racehorse, other ponies that appeared to adore me, one that would neigh when he heard my car coming (so my YO would tell me). The horse I share my yard with now is also an attention seeker, anyone will do, he's and old hunter/ex comp horse. My little mare, whilst very sweet, is far more aloof but we're still getting to know each other I suppose.
One incident that will always stick in my mind - I was looking after a friend's horses while she was away for a few days, she returned as I was doing evening stables. One of her horses heard/saw her car return and he went mad with excitement, shouting out at the car and I know it wasn't cupboard love because he'd only just finished his dinner!
julesjoy
Well-Known Member
Mine are definitely pets. Very expensive, luxury ones though, that I know other people would also be happy to own. They do come running over for cuddles in the field, which is very sweet and the part i enjoy - I dont ride. I feel oddly less attached to my guinea pigs than the ponies - i think its something to do with the fact that the ponies can and do choose my company when i am there, whilst the guinea pigs are very much a pick up/put down because i want a cuddly type animal, not their own free will, if that makes sense? I know I am not their herd, and two of them are particularly attached so it will be tricky finding them a home as I'd feel terrible separating them (ponies).
Bernster
Well-Known Member
Somewhere in between for me. The cat is part of the family but she lives with us, is a regular part of our lives and is a companion. The horses are maybe more a part of ‘my herd’. I’m responsible for them, want to make sure they are looked after and cared for. Some are more affectionate than others, and some I feel a stronger bond with than others. I have sold on if they’re aren’t the right fit, although the last 3 purchases are still with me so I seem to be acquiring them but not reducing them now!
Boughtabay
Well-Known Member
My gelding is an attention junkie which is quite alright as my mare is a kind of “I’ll come over & check in but don’t hassle me” kinda gal. When she first arrived though she was very desperate for attention - I put it down to her having many homes & needing to prove she was cuddly in the hope she’d be allowed to stayNot sure, they don't live at home like the dog does and whilst my dog absolutely adores me (not so much the husband and children), I would say my horses have been more important to me than she has and I even enjoy my hens more than the dog. Maybe because earning the friendship of hens takes more work, the dog it too desperate
Yes, lots can be like that but there are plenty who buck the trend. I've had horses that were absolute attention junkies, one an arab, another an ex-racehorse, other ponies that appeared to adore me, one that would neigh when he heard my car coming (so my YO would tell me). The horse I share my yard with now is also an attention seeker, anyone will do, he's and old hunter/ex comp horse. My little mare, whilst very sweet, is far more aloof but we're still getting to know each other I suppose.
One incident that will always stick in my mind - I was looking after a friend's horses while she was away for a few days, she returned as I was doing evening stables. One of her horses heard/saw her car return and he went mad with excitement, shouting out at the car and I know it wasn't cupboard love because he'd only just finished his dinner!
Now she’s well and truly settled (and retired young to a life of lazing about) she’s quite happy just knowing you’re about, keeping an eye but leaving the fussing to the overgrown baby horse 
blitznbobs
Well-Known Member
They are funny arent they? I have 2 mares that have been together since weaning and are very attached. One of my mares has gone to the vets for a few days for ai and I was genuinely really worried that the other mare would be beside herself… so after i delivered her to the vets I arrived back at the yard to find the other mare flat out, fast asleep in the field… I genuinely dont think she has even noticed shes gone…just goes to show, you never really know.I have two exactly like this. When I purchased my mare it was love at first sight for my husband's gelding. He can have 8 other horses out with him, including my other gelding, but if I take my mare out for a hack he calls pitifully for her until we return. She is very much HIS mare, despite there being several other mares in his field.
My mare on the other hand couldn't give a toss, can never be bothered to answer him and barely notices his absence when he is brought in to ride.
We had to keep husband's horse on box rest for a few days recently, when he was reunited with his herd he trotted over to my mare so happily, tail up. She barely sniffed his arse and walked off. He looked devastated
Hepsibah
Well-Known Member
Great thread blitznbobs.
Some of mine have been like family. Bess was with us until she passed last summer and her now 12 year old daughter will be ours until her time comes too. Ruby, my avatar pony has been around since 2020 and won't be going anywhere either. My OH had her New Forest mare until she was well into her thirties after buying her to break and sell as a 3 year old and her Cleveland Bay gelding until he was PTS in his mid twenties. These are the ones we connected with, others we didn't find any connection with were found more suitable homes and were happier in them.
Some of mine have been like family. Bess was with us until she passed last summer and her now 12 year old daughter will be ours until her time comes too. Ruby, my avatar pony has been around since 2020 and won't be going anywhere either. My OH had her New Forest mare until she was well into her thirties after buying her to break and sell as a 3 year old and her Cleveland Bay gelding until he was PTS in his mid twenties. These are the ones we connected with, others we didn't find any connection with were found more suitable homes and were happier in them.
gunnergundog
Well-Known Member
Now I am the total opposite. I buy a horse and spend a lot of money for them to do a job for me, be it hunting, eventing or whatever. If they fulfil that role and choose NOT to like being cuddled and pull faces if their personal space is invaded and wish to have their stable as their safe haven that is theirs and theirs alone then that is absolutely fine by me. A horse can relate to me in other ways.....the relationship/understanding that comes from hours spent together in the hunting field for instance. If I want something soft and furry to cuddle I have plenty of dogs.....having said that, they too have a job to do unless they are retired!
blitznbobs
Well-Known Member
The cuddle thing...
It's a bit like the attractive thing. Those of you who remember the late, great Carmen Lanni gave me some very wise advice, many years ago. He said, 'Always buy beautiful horses, they don't do the job any better but at least when you've had a really bad day, they are pretty to look at.' Shallow maybe but oh so true. (Of course beauty is in the eye of the beholder
PS I love a cuddly horse but they have to cuddle on my terms not theirs... but Cortez would hate my mare for the same reason I love her... and she is beautiful too.
It's a bit like the attractive thing. Those of you who remember the late, great Carmen Lanni gave me some very wise advice, many years ago. He said, 'Always buy beautiful horses, they don't do the job any better but at least when you've had a really bad day, they are pretty to look at.' Shallow maybe but oh so true. (Of course beauty is in the eye of the beholder
PS I love a cuddly horse but they have to cuddle on my terms not theirs... but Cortez would hate my mare for the same reason I love her... and she is beautiful too.
Last edited:
paddy555
Well-Known Member
my horses stay with me forever. I don't sell them. So at some stage they are going to retire. They could be retired for years. I can cope with ugly but it is so much nicer if they are an affectionate friendly horse.The cuddle thing...
It's a bit like the attractive thing. Those of you who remember the late, great Carmen Lanni gave me some very wise advice, many years ago. He said, 'Always by beautiful horses, they don't do the job any better but at least when you've had a really bad day, they are pretty to look at.' Shallow maybe but oh so true. (Of course beauty is in the eye of the beholder
PS I love a cuddly horse but they have to cuddle on my terms not theirs... but Cortez would hate my mare for the same reason I love her... and she is beautiful too.
I really don't want to spend years with a horse who pulls faces and objects to me invading his stable.
Ahrena
Well-Known Member
Mine are.
I never doubted that but if I did, I lost a mare I had for 10 years in a freak accident last Tuesday and the grief and pain is as raw or rawer than the death of family members I’ve had. Perhaps that makes me a psychopath or a narcissist but it’s true.
I never doubted that but if I did, I lost a mare I had for 10 years in a freak accident last Tuesday and the grief and pain is as raw or rawer than the death of family members I’ve had. Perhaps that makes me a psychopath or a narcissist but it’s true.
Barton Bounty
Just simply loving life with Orbi 🥰
So sorry to hear about your mare
PinkvSantaboots
Well-Known Member
I think some horses need human number 1 and others just need mates it's just how it is.The only horse that Mim has cared about is Miri. It’s the funniest thing, that horse stepped off the transporter and Mimosa was besotted. When Miri went away for box rest, Mim was so stressed, and every time I came back from visiting Miri and then saw Mim, she would snort into my coat and lick my hands because she could smell her.
I’m not sure Miri feels the same, to be honest