ibot
Well-Known Member
Thank you for all your advice its been helpful i am naturally a friendly person but i think that might be the problem maybe i do need to be less chatty and go quiet 
Are You Happy At Your Yard
- Thread starter ibot
- Start date
Tarbs
Well-Known Member
I'd try to give it a bit more time. It's so difficult to move to a totally different area. We did it two years ago and until I got my horse a year ago I was lonely. I work from home and my friends who would drop by for a cuppa were no longer around plus I only saw my hubby when he got home from work so I was climbing the walls! I moved yards once and am now at a lovely place where I've made some great friends but I do think it takes a good few months to settle in.
ibot
Well-Known Member
Yep i totally understand im trying not to climb the walls, i am hoping to get into college in Sept and i am hopefully starting my training for something i use to do before i moved (yes i have to be trained again?!?!?) Then hopefully i wont have so much time to think about being lonely
Tiffany
Well-Known Member
We've been on our new yard for last two weeks and at the moment I feel a bit the same OP. It's not because of anyone on the yard because they are all friendly, I think it's because I don't know everyones name yet and it's all a bit unfamiliar. My girl is very settled, she's out in field every day which was the reason for moving
SkewbyTwo
Well-Known Member
That sounds very unkind. You don't sound like an inconsiderate person.The people give me looks and complained about me alot in my first 2/3 weeks there and even now when i say hi i get a look
What on Earth did you/your horse do to warrant them complaining? If it's something specific, is it worth approaching them to say, sorry it happened, it's sorted now, can we start again, type thing?
ibot
Well-Known Member
its a fair question my puppy was a bit naughty which i said sorry for and told dog off but they still complained oh i have kids which they dont like either its now that everyone else is allowed there dog at the yard but i am not, although he is allowed to come hacking with me. The thing that upset me the most is one of the liveries turned around and made a comment about my visious (sp) dog let me tell you my dog is 14 months old and has never growled at anything in his life he has been around horses all his life but the owners dog hates him and attackes him everytime he comes on the yard yet its my dog that has been labeled how does that make sense???
its now that everyone else is allowed there dog at the yard but i am not, although he is allowed to come hacking with me. The thing that upset me the most is one of the liveries turned around and made a comment about my visious (sp) dog let me tell you my dog is 14 months old and has never growled at anything in his life he has been around horses all his life but the owners dog hates him and attackes him everytime he comes on the yard yet its my dog that has been labeled how does that make sense???SO1
Well-Known Member
Do you know what you did to cause them to complain about you a lot? Different yards may have different rules or cultures and something that might have been acceptable at one yard may not be at another.
Some things that sometimes can help with making friends on new yards are admiring others horses most people like compliments, sometimes asking for advice perhaps saying where is the best hacking as sometimes people like to feel that they are knowledgeable as well.
I have only had the one experience of not getting on with one of the other liveries and it making me feel very uncomfortable having someone who does not want to talk to me. I decided that the only way anything was going to change was for me make a bigger effort to try and get to know that person even though they are very different from me and most of the others on the yard. However my situation was different as I was not new to the yard so it was not like I did not have any other friends.
Some things that sometimes can help with making friends on new yards are admiring others horses most people like compliments, sometimes asking for advice perhaps saying where is the best hacking as sometimes people like to feel that they are knowledgeable as well.
I have only had the one experience of not getting on with one of the other liveries and it making me feel very uncomfortable having someone who does not want to talk to me. I decided that the only way anything was going to change was for me make a bigger effort to try and get to know that person even though they are very different from me and most of the others on the yard. However my situation was different as I was not new to the yard so it was not like I did not have any other friends.
I am new to the area so we have only been here for that length of time so not really got many friends (just call me billy lol)
The people give me looks and complained about me alot in my first 2/3 weeks there and even now when i say hi i get a look
(
Copperpot
Well-Known Member
I would look to move. Horses take a lot of time and money and it should be fun. I've been on yards that were nice with fab facilities but I felt I didn't quite fit it. Everyone was lovely to me, but it wasn't me. Now I'm on a tiny yard, just me and my friend. It's more relaxed, we do as we please and I'm much happier. I actually do more with my horse and enjoy him more now.
Cinnamontoast
Fais pas chier!
Tbh, I'd leave the dog at home. The YO's dog get stressed at other dogs and mine would run the risk of her and the stallion.
Give it time, I cried the first couple of months at my new yard, I was so upset to have to move. I thought I'd never have friends up there but they've been flaming amazing, a couple of mates have had my horse on full livery for free, basically.
Yards are funny places, there will always be cliques and bonded circles, but you're bound to find people you gel with eventually. If the horse is happy, give it a little bit longer.
Give it time, I cried the first couple of months at my new yard, I was so upset to have to move. I thought I'd never have friends up there but they've been flaming amazing, a couple of mates have had my horse on full livery for free, basically.
Yards are funny places, there will always be cliques and bonded circles, but you're bound to find people you gel with eventually. If the horse is happy, give it a little bit longer.
SO1
Well-Known Member
Dogs and Kids especially if un or undersupervised are things that can really wind people up unfortunately.
If you bring your dog on to the yard and it fights with YO dog that is going to cause a problem as it is dangerous. Of course the YO is not going to want a dog on the yard which her dogs don't get on with. If you think that YO dogs are going attack your puppy then for the safety of your puppy you need to not bring it to the yard.
Why do they have a problem about the kids? Most people are fine with kids on a yard if they are supervised. I know it is difficult to make a judgement on your own kids but could they be doing something that you find acceptable but others might find annoying? For example if you are going off hacking and leaving your kids on the yard looking after the puppy on their own then that might annoy people.
If you bring your dog on to the yard and it fights with YO dog that is going to cause a problem as it is dangerous. Of course the YO is not going to want a dog on the yard which her dogs don't get on with. If you think that YO dogs are going attack your puppy then for the safety of your puppy you need to not bring it to the yard.
Why do they have a problem about the kids? Most people are fine with kids on a yard if they are supervised. I know it is difficult to make a judgement on your own kids but could they be doing something that you find acceptable but others might find annoying? For example if you are going off hacking and leaving your kids on the yard looking after the puppy on their own then that might annoy people.
its a fair question my puppy was a bit naughty which i said sorry for and told dog off but they still complained oh i have kids which they dont like either
MochaDun
Well-Known Member
No don't go quiet, you're you and entitled to be you and as chatty as you want to be
It can feel awful when it's like that if you know people have said things, first winter at mine I got comments about being cruel for leaving him unrugged, giving him too much haylage, not riding enough. But many of those people I ended up friends with. He and I had a difficult first few months just getting to know each other let alone the workings of the yard but we got there. See how it goes, life's too short to be miserable when you have a horse
It can feel awful when it's like that if you know people have said things, first winter at mine I got comments about being cruel for leaving him unrugged, giving him too much haylage, not riding enough. But many of those people I ended up friends with. He and I had a difficult first few months just getting to know each other let alone the workings of the yard but we got there. See how it goes, life's too short to be miserable when you have a horse
Ellies_mum2
Well-Known Member
You moved? Again?
Make some of your cakes and take them to the yard and ask to start over maybe? If things don't start looking up soon then start looking at other yards in the area. Amazing hacking doesn't make up for being unhappy on a yard for me
Make some of your cakes and take them to the yard and ask to start over maybe? If things don't start looking up soon then start looking at other yards in the area. Amazing hacking doesn't make up for being unhappy on a yard for me
toomanyhorses26
Well-Known Member
I made the jump after 23 years at my old yard when the owner took exception to my farrier and assaulted him. Tbh was the push I needed and Iam at alovely yard now - not perfect but will do. I guess life is too short and horses are too expensive not to enjoy - guess what I am trying to say is move x
x
skint1
Well-Known Member
I'm happy at my yard, there are times when I feel annoyed about small stuff and im sure I annoy people but nothing too awful really, we're all at least polite to each others faces.
all the normal livery yard talk goes on, there are people who will comment on how often or not a horse is ridden, how its rugged, how many timed a day its seen to and all that but its just inconsequential chatter.
how do you know these people don't like you?
all the normal livery yard talk goes on, there are people who will comment on how often or not a horse is ridden, how its rugged, how many timed a day its seen to and all that but its just inconsequential chatter.
how do you know these people don't like you?
ibot
Well-Known Member
I am the only one with young kids at my yard. No i would never go and leave kids on yard alone
I rarely ride when they are not at school as i am very aware that kids are a pain even mine lol
I have brought cakes up and asked silly questions and admired peoples horses all while trying not to be fake
I have worked at many yards over the years and have always got on with most types of people.
There are not many people that ride in the morning which is when i ride i have one lady that i have been out with a few times who is very nice but......
I rarely ride when they are not at school as i am very aware that kids are a pain even mine
lolI have brought cakes up and asked silly questions and admired peoples horses all while trying not to be fake
I have worked at many yards over the years and have always got on with most types of people.
There are not many people that ride in the morning which is when i ride i have one lady that i have been out with a few times who is very nice but......
Mince Pie
Well-Known Member
When I moved onto my current yard the YO and other liveries really made an effort to get to know me and help me fit in - 10 months later I love the place and am really gutted to have to be leaving, however the new yard seem to be really friendly and welcoming. I don't think you should have to change who you are as then you are not being true to yourself, if you are really friendly and chatty then stay that way Have you made the first approach to the other liveries? What was their reaction?
E xx
Have you made the first approach to the other liveries? What was their reaction?E xx
quirky
Well-Known Member
When I relocated, I struggled to settle and yard hopped until I found somewhere that suited both horse and me.
I did feel guilty about moving the horse around but within a year and on our 3rd yard I was happy and ended up there for 5 years. I only moved off when the YO took up with some psycho but that's another story
I did feel guilty about moving the horse around but within a year and on our 3rd yard I was happy and ended up there for 5 years. I only moved off when the YO took up with some psycho but that's another story
ibot
Well-Known Member
You moved? Again?
Make some of your cakes and take them to the yard and ask to start over maybe? If things don't start looking up soon then start looking at other yards in the area. Amazing hacking doesn't make up for being unhappy on a yard for me
Yep you know us we go all over the place be easier if we were snails then at least we would not need to pack house up
niagaraduval
Well-Known Member
When I had my horse on livery I was at several yards where I was always lonely. I stayed each time for quite a while, things didn't get better for me it was just the way the yards were. I now have them at home and it is bliss but I did eventually find a yard that was good for me
Edit - I have found keeping your horse on livery at someones house is better than at a yard. It's just you and the owner so you can normally meet someone who is looking to go for rides out etc. I bit the bullet once and knocked on a neighbours door and asked if they would take a livery, they were delighted
Edit - I have found keeping your horse on livery at someones house is better than at a yard. It's just you and the owner so you can normally meet someone who is looking to go for rides out etc. I bit the bullet once and knocked on a neighbours door and asked if they would take a livery, they were delighted
keepcalmanddriveon
Well-Known Member
Over the years I've been on some brilliant yards....& some terrible ones.
The first yard I was on was my first in years having had horses at home until that point. Owners & family lovely, liveries lovely. Then the 'bitchiness' started to creep in with a few new ones & the place got wrecked. No choice but to move as I have horses for pleasure, not more stress.
Next yard was OK, but about 4 months later I ended up moving 50 miles away by circumstance, so had to move. Yard owner didnt like this & ended up padlocking my animals in a grass laneway with nothing more than a gate tied with string between them & a main road, filled with barbed wire & whatnot. Got the horses out by force & moved to only yard with space near to home. 4 weeks later got a call from Police trying to do me for criminal damage to this blokes padlock! Told them to *expletive* off!
Yard near home turned out to be a disaster, promised grass & never got any, feed disappearing, horses not fed as agreed, lost a horse as a result of the yards incompetence in my absence (fell in stable during day, wasnt checked on as I was working, came up to find it unable to get up!) - awful.
Moved again to a yard which is way too far away but came recommended & it is a nice yard - within a week of being there, people had rung round trying to find me to spread gossip - the yard had breached any confidentiality in telling these people I was there. When I moved there they didnt have a problem with my carriage, now they do & so the whole thing has gone to hell in a handcart. Plus, still no grazing for anything. So, I'm about to move again.
The moral of the story, look before you leap & if you're not happy, vote with your money - we're customers in a service industry & if the service isn't right, move.
The first yard I was on was my first in years having had horses at home until that point. Owners & family lovely, liveries lovely. Then the 'bitchiness' started to creep in with a few new ones & the place got wrecked. No choice but to move as I have horses for pleasure, not more stress.
Next yard was OK, but about 4 months later I ended up moving 50 miles away by circumstance, so had to move. Yard owner didnt like this & ended up padlocking my animals in a grass laneway with nothing more than a gate tied with string between them & a main road, filled with barbed wire & whatnot. Got the horses out by force & moved to only yard with space near to home. 4 weeks later got a call from Police trying to do me for criminal damage to this blokes padlock! Told them to *expletive* off!
Yard near home turned out to be a disaster, promised grass & never got any, feed disappearing, horses not fed as agreed, lost a horse as a result of the yards incompetence in my absence (fell in stable during day, wasnt checked on as I was working, came up to find it unable to get up!) - awful.
Moved again to a yard which is way too far away but came recommended & it is a nice yard - within a week of being there, people had rung round trying to find me to spread gossip - the yard had breached any confidentiality in telling these people I was there. When I moved there they didnt have a problem with my carriage, now they do & so the whole thing has gone to hell in a handcart. Plus, still no grazing for anything. So, I'm about to move again.
The moral of the story, look before you leap & if you're not happy, vote with your money - we're customers in a service industry & if the service isn't right, move.
FoxTrotx
Well-Known Member
Sometimes I wish I didn't love my yard so much. I actually like everyone at the yard (kids included) but this means I end up chatting and taking literally twice as long to do everything
I do feel really lucky to have found somewhere so nice, I was worried about moving to a livery after being on my own with my girl due to horror stories I've heard about people on livery yards. I feel sorry for people that can't enjoy their horse because of horrible, childish people.
I do feel really lucky to have found somewhere so nice, I was worried about moving to a livery after being on my own with my girl due to horror stories I've heard about people on livery yards. I feel sorry for people that can't enjoy their horse because of horrible, childish people.
risky business
Well-Known Member
I'd look into moving if I were you.
I moved onto a yard and after 6 weeks its just wasn't right and ameys behaviour started to also change for the worse so I was out of there sharpish.
Yard time is supposed to be chill/ happy time and if your not feeling that then you need to look else where.
Amazing hacking is no use to you if you like to ride out with others and you feel like you can't do that where you are..
Hope you find a solution soon.
I moved onto a yard and after 6 weeks its just wasn't right and ameys behaviour started to also change for the worse so I was out of there sharpish.
Yard time is supposed to be chill/ happy time and if your not feeling that then you need to look else where.
Amazing hacking is no use to you if you like to ride out with others and you feel like you can't do that where you are..
Hope you find a solution soon.
noodle_
Well-Known Member
I managed 6 days at one yard - i didnt fit in and my horse absolutely hated it.....the vibe was horrible so i moved
I know in a few days normally on yard (ive been ona lot due to my old horses health issues), if im going to settle - if i dont i will just up and move
end of the day you are paying money to be there, its an expensive hobby so enjoy it dont suffer it!!....
I like my yard where im at, lovely people there (to me thats what makes a yard)!...
If your not happy - move!....
I know in a few days normally on yard (ive been ona lot due to my old horses health issues), if im going to settle - if i dont i will just up and move
end of the day you are paying money to be there, its an expensive hobby so enjoy it dont suffer it!!....
I like my yard where im at, lovely people there (to me thats what makes a yard)!...
If your not happy - move!....
Stick with it , you say the hacking is great and it suits you otherwise. If there are 15 liveries and you think 3 dont like you, that means there are 12 that might ! It takes time to get to know a yard, maybe they are trying to give you space and not interfere.
I was on my last yard for 13 years and moved last year with some trepidation, but I am happy there, but It took time to get into a routine and find out how things worked. Perhaps if you asked someone for some advice about where to hack or something horse care related it would help you to integrate.
I was on my last yard for 13 years and moved last year with some trepidation, but I am happy there, but It took time to get into a routine and find out how things worked. Perhaps if you asked someone for some advice about where to hack or something horse care related it would help you to integrate.
Tilda
Well-Known Member
I think you should move simply because it doesn't sound like your yard is particularly family friendly and that can be very stressful. I have been on a number of yards over the years. My first yard was reasonably child friendly but I was already there before I had my son so had my friends etc to help me out. My friends and I then moved to another yard which was full of young children but one of the 4 liveries used to just leave us to look after her children (without asking she just assumed) and this I did not enjoy. I then moved to a yard which was walking distance from my house but sounds very similar to your's. It wasn't that people moaned about my son but I felt I was constantly being judged and I felt I had to keep him away from other people as they got fed up with his constant questions. My current yard is fabulous we have people of all ages some who have children (albeit many grown up now) and some who don't. One of the YMs has children who are similar in age to my son and they are all great mates and we help each other keep an eye on them. My son will wander from stable to stable chatting to the owners and helping them muck out (he is 5) and they often ask after him when he hasn't been down for a while.
Personally I would move I think we have our horses for fun and it is a lot of money to spend to feel stressed. There is yard out there where you will be welcomed kids, dog and all
Personally I would move I think we have our horses for fun and it is a lot of money to spend to feel stressed. There is yard out there where you will be welcomed kids, dog and all
ibot
Well-Known Member
I sound like a right winge and i am sorry there are nice people there i guess im just not comfortable about being there.
At my last yard id go up and years would pass as you would get talking or playing horse where at this place its just not the same and maybe thats the problem is that i am not use to it yet i have no idea how i am going to survive the summer when the kids finish school i can not leave paddy out for 6 weeks, Most of my kids stay at home i just bring the 7 year old up and he likes to talk with the dogs and cats or he stays in the car
Thank you again all of you for your replies its been so helpful both to have you all here and to know im not totally alone
Nicky
xxx
At my last yard id go up and years would pass as you would get talking or playing horse where at this place its just not the same and maybe thats the problem is that i am not use to it yet i have no idea how i am going to survive the summer when the kids finish school i can not leave paddy out for 6 weeks, Most of my kids stay at home i just bring the 7 year old up and he likes to talk with the dogs and cats or he stays in the car
Thank you again all of you for your replies its been so helpful both to have you all here and to know im not totally alone
Nicky
xxx
marioforever
Well-Known Member
I think its a shame that the liveries/yard owner didnt do more to make you feel welcome. I moved yards a few months ago, after having kept various horses with my friend. I only moved cos of the distance to the old yard and am now on part livery. Within the first week, the yard owner organised a take away at her house and invited me and all the other liveries. Following that, we have all been out for meals and drinks etc. I think the person who runs the yard is responsible for getting everyone together and making sure not only the horses are happy but the owners are too. I cant speak highly enough of the yard I am at. Everyone is lovely and if you dont feel happy in another say 2 months then I would move or you will end up not wanting to go and see/do your horse. Good luck.
ibot
Well-Known Member
Thank you. When i arrived at my last yard the owner was great she brought me and the kids out to a playground and took me out hacking and included me in everything i even taught lessons at her place and settled really quickly
I have always found when i have worked at yards and kept my horse at yards i have learnt things already i have seen so much at this yard which has taught me alot. Maybe at this yard is the place where Paddy and i go out on our own and find our own way out and about it might do us both a lot of good
horsesatemymoney
Well-Known Member
I'm going to sound really mean now, and I mean it in the nicest way possible-I'll be polite and make small conversation with fellow liveries' children, but 'constant questions' would irritate me too. Like you, I keep horses as an expensive hobby, and wouldn't expect to have to deal with a barrage of questions from somebody else's child, whilst they got on with their jobs. Sorry OP, I do feel mean saying that, but on a yard, beyond being nice to the child, expecting to answer constant questions whilst trying to do my own horse would really grind my gears!
ibot
Well-Known Member
Horseatemymummy i totally understand that which is why im very aware of my kids which is why i try to only bring one of them and when i do i try and be as quick as i can.