Badly Named Horses Thread

[Elno]

My horse's passport name is "Viktor". From the moment I bought him his name has always been (and forever will be) Troll...?

(Because when I bought him he was this small, jet black, hairy little dude and reminded me of one of those Troll pencil toppers that were popular when I was a little kid ???)

 

[FinkleyAlex]

First nation names were really common for coloured horses, as well as Apache, have also known a Commanche, Cherokee, Tomahawk, Sioux and Cheyenne.

Have met a Vodka, not sure that works but there's lots of Whiskeys Sherrys and Brandys around.

I have a Comanche, I personally love those kinds of names for horses given the historical significance, albeit I worry sometimes about cultural appropriation (he came with this name long before people gave much thought to that!).

the worst names I’ve seen so far include Rooney (named after Wayne Rooney) and Furby.

 

[Pippity]

I knew a Shearer, named after Alan Shearer. I'd thought she was Sheera, because she was a beautiful little grey Arab but, no, it was Alan.

My yard has Big Blue (mine) and Little Blue (my friend's). I wish I'd changed mine's name when I got her, but it's a bit late now. She's never responded to it - I think she was given it when she was imported as a 5yo, and nobody interacted with her enough for her to learn it. She thinks her name is Sugarplum, because that's what I usually call her, but I refuse to put that on any records!

I used to know a Boris, who was usually referred to as Bozza to avoid the, "Haha, Boris Johnson!!!" comments.

There aren't many names I hate, but I'm not fond of ones that insult the horse. Any Plonkers or Wazzocks or similar would be renamed. I've developed a sneaking fondness for human names over the past few years, the more unlikely the better. Steven, Olivia, Carol, Andrew, etc.

 

[Alwaysmoretoknow]

My son had a little TB mare by a horse called AintLifeLikeThat. Very sweet and ridiculously quiet but very dim and we loved her dearly. We affectionially called her Landfill TB as she would have been utterly useless at the job she had been bred to do. She used to lick pigs and be the demo for stable management bandaging etc. for the D & C PC kids while still being a useful allrounder. What's in a name eh?

 

[Cob Life]

Same here! I've known plenty of Dustys, Spiders, Heidis etc.

What always tickles me are horses with very plain human names. Like Keith, Steve, Craig etc.

I know a Rodger, Penny and Megan as well as Big Fred and Little Fred

and an Archie, Tom and Alfie.

 

[throwaway2022]

You can’t beat human names for horses! I’ve got an Albert, Leonard and my new one is being named Percy. One of the best ponies I’ve had was called Brian, suited him perfectly ?

 

[spacefaer]

My first pony - classic little grey Welsh - was called Superstar - bit of a thing to live up to
And my father's horse when I was little was a 16.2 chestnut TB mare called Searchlight which seems quite random in retrospect!
And I've just remembered a short lived ownership of an Arab mare called Fiona - we were told her Arab name was Anoif (which is Fiona backwards!)

 

[vhf]

My horse was called "Moose." Nope. That got changed. Before buying him, while faffing with vet checks and multiple visits test riding, OH and I made a point of referring to him as "The Highland." Otherwise, we risked getting into the habit of calling him Moose, and I could not live with that. I didn't want to commit to a new name until he was a sure thing, but I didn't want that habit, either.

I did that with one whose name was not only awful, but rhymed with mine... So I called him 'the pallo'. It stuck...

 

[Caol Ila]

Yeah, at least "The Highland" didn't stick. Or "The Mouse Dun" or any other descriptive word. Doesn't have the same ring as "The Black." I had a name ready as soon as he passed the vet check.

At my yard back in CO there was a guy named Larry who rode a horse called Gary.

I have a rule that if any horse I buy has the name of someone I know, especially an ex, its name will be changed at speed. Or if its name sounds too much like mine. I’m Emily, so Emma and Millie are out.

 

[Lexi_]

There aren't many names I hate, but I'm not fond of ones that insult the horse. Any Plonkers or Wazzocks or similar would be renamed. I've developed a sneaking fondness for human names over the past few years, the more unlikely the better. Steven, Olivia, Carol, Andrew, etc.

There’s an Olivia on our yard and she’s a fine figure of a gal ?




I worked at a riding school when I was younger and they went through a phase of having horses with the same name but not being super creative about the solutions. So it was ok for Brandy and LB (little Brandy) and Monty but poor Brantoo and Montoo…

There was also a piebald cob who eventually ended up called Tara (which is fine!) but she arrived with no name and got called Moo Cow for at least 3 months.