Been to view this horse today

[Surbie]

Fingers crossed Birker!

 

[Goldenstar]

Let us know how you do ?
I have got my fingers crossed .

 

[southerncomfort]

Lots of luck B!

 

[ycbm]

Good luck!
.

 

[Kunoichi73]

Good luck. Hope the viewing goes well.

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

Betcha it "had never ever done that before".

Don't wish to appear critical OP, but did you ask for it to be seen ridden before you got up??

You were lucky you were not injured.

 

[splashgirl45]

It says earlier in the thread that the owner rode it first

 

[AShetlandBitMeOnce]

Eeeeek, how did it go Birker? Can I welcome you to the ID club yet??

 

[Birker2020]

Nope. Lovely, lovely horse. So nice natured, he put his head on my shoulder over the stable door. He looked great being ridden, sound as a pound, moved very lightly for a big ID. The weather was very windy, then it started raining just as I got on. Had a walk, trot and canter but the wind and the rain, he felt like he was getting a bit stronger. I have just lost my confidence, I think he would have been totally different in normal weather conditions.

After what happened the other week with the horse that started broncing and with the rain coming down in sterodds and wind howling I just bottled it. Totally not the horses fault. Gutted.

Disguised photo.

 

[ycbm]

Don't be hard on yourself, you've had a long break. The right horse will find you B.
.

 

[nagblagger]

Could you go back on a better day?

 

[tda]

Nope. Lovely, lovely horse. So nice natured, he put his head on my shoulder over the stable door. He looked great being ridden, sound as a pound, moved very lightly for a big ID. The weather was very windy, then it started raining just as I got on. Had a walk, trot and canter but the wind and the rain, he felt like he was getting a bit stronger. I have just lost my confidence, I think he would have been totally different in normal weather conditions.

After what happened the other week with the horse that started broncing and with the rain coming down in sterodds and wind howling I just bottled it. Totally not the horses fault. Gutted.

Disguised photo.

Could you go back again in better weather? He sounds nice

 

[Birker2020]

I feel I've wasted enough of their time.

The seller said she had two buyers who she'd put on hold for me to view him first so she's ringing them tomorrow.

On the way home we looked for Slimming World sessions and I'm going to my first one on Wednesday. I feel my weight is holding me back, and that and three people I don't know watching me ride on a strange horse I don't know, in weather conditions that were far from ideal in a 17" saddle were just a far from ideal combination.

 

[BallyRoanBaubles]

Would a few rides at a riding school or on a known horse help with confidence? Can totally understand why it’s knocked

 

[SO1]

I feel I've wasted enough of their time.

The seller said she had two buyers who she'd put on hold for me to view him first so she's ringing them tomorrow.

On the way home we looked for Slimming World sessions and I'm going to my first one on Wednesday. I feel my weight is holding me back, and that and three people I don't know watching me ride on a strange horse I don't know, in weather conditions that were far from ideal in a 17" saddle were just a far from ideal combination.

I think you were brave to try an unfamiliar horse in these weather conditions. A lot of people don't ride their familiar horses in extreme weather and it was very windy in a lot of places.

I expect you may have felt tense after what happened last week and the weather and the horse may have picked up on this and become more forward going as well as having the wind to contend with.

 

[CanteringCarrot]

The right horse will find you. It's also totally fine to work on yourself for a bit and boost your confidence.

I hadn't ridden in close to 2 years, but I lost 15lbs to get back into my breeches and started taking lessons on a nice little QH mare doing some Western dressage of sorts. I knew that I needed to get my sh*t together before backing my 3 year old I'm 3 lessons in and feeling pretty good about it.

So maybe continue on your weight loss journey and take some riding lessons on a nice steady type? I think getting more saddle time should boost your confidence.

Sounds like you still did quite alright given the circumstances with the weather and whatnot.

 

[Birker2020]

Would a few rides at a riding school or on a known horse help with confidence? Can totally understand why it’s knocked

Yes plan to once I can get down to the weight limit. I'm sure SW will help as I'm very competitive so will like the weekly weigh ins. Lol

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

Deleted - sorry page hadn't updated and I missed prev. posts saying same thing

 

[Birker2020]

I wouldn't have wanted to get on an unknown horse in a new place in this weather. Would a second viewing be possible? Sounds like he ticked the boxes in lots of ways just unfortunate conditions this time round.

I don't feel I can ask. I feel like I have wasted enough of their time. I just wish something would go right for once. I can't believe my bad luck with the weather, but it wasn't just that if I'm really honest. It's me not feeling good enough at the moment. I really need some lessons and with that some confidence.

I hate horse hunting, it's not in the least bit enjoyable at the moment and that's a real shame. Having a single horse for 17 years and never really riding anything else makes it hard. I felt like a fish out of water last time round when I was searching and found Lari and that was only a gap of 10 months.

 

[SO1]

I don't feel I can ask. I feel like I have wasted enough of their time. I just wish something would go right for once. I can't believe my bad luck with the weather, but it wasn't just that if I'm really honest. It's me not feeling good enough at the moment. I really need some lessons and with that some confidence.

I hate horse hunting, it's not in the least bit enjoyable at the moment and that's a real shame. Having a single horse for 17 years and never really riding anything else makes it hard. I felt like a fish out of water last time round when I was searching and found Lari and that was only a gap of 10 months.

I was the same after having Homey for 15 years. It is a massive decision to make and really hard to get a feel for the horse in a short period of time. I don't think horse hunting is ever fun unless it is buying your first horse, when you are in the situation where you need a new after either having to PTS or retire a beloved companion it feels not so good.

 

[AShetlandBitMeOnce]

I completely understand the way you feel Birker, riding unfamiliar horses is worrying at the best of times, but if you have your weight at the back of your mind and a smaller saddle and rubbish weather, I think tapping out is A ok. There will be others out there

 

[Birker2020]

I was the same after having Homey for 15 years. It is a massive decision to make and really hard to get a feel for the horse in a short period of time. I don't think horse hunting is ever fun unless it is buying your first horse, when you are in the situation where you need a new after either having to PTS or retire a beloved companion it feels not so good.

100% SO1 !

Riding Bailey was comfortable like slipping on my Asics or sitting behind the wheel of my car. Safe, familiar, comfortable and cosy.

 

[Birker2020]

I completely understand the way you feel Birker, riding unfamiliar horses is worrying at the best of times, but if you have your weight at the back of your mind and a smaller saddle and rubbish weather, I think tapping out is A ok. There will be others out there

One thing I've learned with horses.... there is always another day.

I need to find a better job, I'm leaving work 3rd May as work drying up as near contract completion.

Save, save, save.

 

[Cloball]

I don't think you wasted their time at all you saw the horse and you rode but it didn't feel right that seems perfectly valid to me. You don't owe the owners anything else.

I was trying ponies in terrible weather and I cried and got off one, didn't even get on another and had a very very short hack on another.... I cried a lot and felt awful. Mostly why I ended up with my fell as well went on a 2 hour hack in the wind and rain and I didn't get off

 

[splashgirl45]

Sorry it hasn’t worked out this time. I didn’t ride for 2 years and when I got back on a horse which wasn’t mine I felt I wasn’t as secure in the saddle . Some of it was the saddle and some was me not feeling at home on top. I found out I wasn’t as secure and fell off on to the road so even if I was allowed to ride now I would think my nerve will have gone. Don’t beat yourself up and try and ride at least a couple of times a week to get your confidence back . Good luck with your weight loss

 

[Birker2020]

I don't think you wasted their time at all you saw the horse and you rode but it didn't feel right that seems perfectly valid to me. You don't owe the owners anything else.

I was trying ponies in terrible weather and I cried and got off one, didn't even get on another and had a very very short hack on another.... I cried a lot and felt awful. Mostly why I ended up with my fell as well went on a 2 hour hack in the wind and rain and I didn't get off

Aw that sounds just like me. I get upset because I feel so useless. To be fair the owner asked my friend how long it was I'd done anything resembling schooling and she told her and she said I was doing very well considering it was a good five years ago, so that made me feel a bit less useless. It hurts because he was everything I wanted, size, age, temperament.

And to have a new horse rest his chin on your shoulder, it was amazing, my partner really liked him as did my friend.

This time it was not meant to be I guess. I did text the lady last night before I had a restless night tossing and turning in bed thinking about him. She was really nice about it, I wished her well and said how lovely her horse was and that I hoped F found a wonderful home. She said I was kind and wished me well. So don't feel that bad. If she'd invited me back when it wasn't a gale I might have considered it but he'll be snapped up.

When you see all this stuff when horses are advertised and it says 'no joy riders/day dreamers/wishful thinkers/time wasters' I would just hate anyone to think I was any of those

 

[ihatework]

Aw that sounds just like me. I get upset because I feel so useless. To be fair the owner asked my friend how long it was I'd done anything resembling schooling and she told her and she said I was doing very well considering it was a good five years ago, so that made me feel a bit less useless. It hurts because he was everything I wanted, size, age, temperament.

And to have a new horse rest his chin on your shoulder, it was amazing, my partner really liked him as did my friend.

This time it was not meant to be I guess. I did text the lady last night before I had a restless night tossing and turning in bed thinking about him. She was really nice about it, I wished her well and said how lovely her horse was and that I hoped F found a wonderful home. She said I was kind and wished me well. So don't feel that bad.

When you hear all this stuff about 'joy riders/day dreamers/wishful thinkers/time wasters' I would just hate anyone to think I was any of those

I’m sorry it didn’t go how you hoped, genuinely sorry, especially as it sounds like in the future it might have been a match.

I also don’t think you class as ‘that sort of time waster’ as you went genuinely wanting to buy a horse and with the money available to do so.

As gutting as it is, I do think you are doing the right thing stopping the search now you have realised you aren’t quite in the physical and mental headspace to be doing this.

I promise you, there is loads you can be doing to get back in the saddle! Obviously weight loss will help with your fitness, balance, confidence but it isn’t just about going to slimming world and the gym more - granted they may be part of it but if you aren’t already it’s surprising how much good therapy can also help.

In the interim and until you are at a weight to get ridden lessons, have you considered driving lessons and/or simulator work?

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

I’m sorry it didn’t go how you hoped, genuinely sorry, especially as it sounds like in the future it might have been a match.

I also don’t think you class as ‘that sort of time waster’ as you went genuinely wanting to buy a horse and with the money available to do so.

As gutting as it is, I do think you are doing the right thing stopping the search now you have realised you aren’t quite in the physical and mental headspace to be doing this.

I promise you, there is loads you can be doing to get back in the saddle! Obviously weight loss will help with your fitness, balance, confidence but it isn’t just about going to slimming world and the gym more - granted they may be part of it but if you aren’t already it’s surprising how much good therapy can also help.

In the interim and until you are at a weight to get ridden lessons, have you considered driving lessons and/or simulator work?

I second this! I've been doing loads to work on my riding confidence and because I don't have a horse of my own basically all of it is automatically off-horse work.

If I am feeling emotionally/mentally not resilient generally it is almost guaranteed to show up when I do ride so the psychological therapy I have helps with that.

I am not overweight to ride and while I do have a bit of a weight loss goal anyway, the work I am doing with physio to support my recovery from Long Covid is really beneficial to my riding - it makes it physically easier to be in a position which is more secure in the saddle (looking at you, lower leg!), and I feel more balanced and co-ordinated. This includes breath work which is so important on and off horse. I had a few weeks' gap between riding lessons but stayed consistent with my new physio exercises in between and the next time I went back to ride the difference was huge - physically and then that had a big impact on my confidence.

Simulator/mechanical horse well worth looking into as you can just focus on you.

 

[Caol Ila]

Such a shame it didn't go well. If the horse isn't snapped up, I'd be tempted to take the owner's offer to try again in better weather. Don't know how you guys had it, but it has been wild up here for the last three days. It sounds like you managed him well, considering.

If I was selling my horses, I would have cancelled viewings on Fin because he's a complete idiot and pretty much unrideable in gale force winds. Almost anyone would be put off if they'd tried. I don't even ride him in that sort of weather. I might keep them for Hermosa to show off how good she is (with me, anyway).

 

[Needtoretire]

Just a thought, do you have a friend, or is there anyone near by to you, that has a suitable type of horse that would let you potter with it and gain a bit of confidence back in your own time/privacy. Even when you can approach a riding school you might still find that a bit daunting ( I would !) as people are watching you.