Bert is very lame.

Hormonal Filly said:
Just read this thread all the way through and didn't want to read and run. Feeling for you OP. Sounds a total nightmare.

As much as the forum is a lovely place with a lot of knowledgeable horsemen, sometimes so many opinions can make it difficult to see straight.

Really hope you get some answers and improvement this week.
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Thank you. I think I should know by the weekend if the shoes make a difference at least I am here this weekend, I am back in Norfolk the following weekend and my sister and BIL wanted me to come for Easter too.

Dad's dementia I think is progressing up to now his memory is not great but everything else fine but yesterday he got really confused and said my BIL had taken him to school when we were talking about some changes made at the end of their road, he said he had seen the changes when BIL had taken him to school it is the first time he has said something strange.

Hopefully the shoes with sedation will be straightforward I will be in a meeting on Wednesday whilst he is being shod so won't be able to take calls.

It is looking like my meeting may be postponed on Friday which the saddler appointment easier for me to attend that is if he ok after the shoes.
 
I do feel the transitioning into a new horse thing. I'm about to blab about myself in an attempt to relate and share my story, so scroll on if it's not of interest 🤣

I had to leave my heart horse overseas because he couldn't be imported into the country that I was moving to (Piroplasmosis positive). I started over with a yearling (at the time, and last horse was 10 years old) and rode someone else's horse for a bit until they moved. I haven't ridden since (1 year+), although I'm about to start again in the next few weeks. I went from being full on, which included competitions, clinics, outings, riding 4 to 5 days a week, and being at the yard everyday to a complete halt, basically. I have no idea what kind of rider I am now.

There are days where I miss the security and familiarity of my last horse. I knew I could just hop on him and feel safe. I knew him inside and out and he knew me quite well too. Now I'm faced with backing a 3 year old and who knows what he will be like as a ridden horse (well, I have some indications based off of ground work) and I have to start over from the beginning and walk him through all of the things and the abc's of being a ridden horse.

While he's been healthy *knock on wood* the task of owning him and training him seems daunting at times. Between work, life, and everything else the horse thing takes so many hours out of my day/week.

I miss my last horse, and I don't know if it'll ever be the same with this one, but there are times when I do feel something for him.

I really don't know if I'm mentally resilient enough for horses anymore. I've been waiting until he's backed to make a decision on selling him. There's nothing "wrong" with him, but I feel like I sort of "peaked" with my last horse and maybe it's time to walk away. Do I need all of the stress and pressures that go along with the horse thing in addition to everything else?

I just don't know the answer to that. When I imagine life without horses one word comes to mind: relief. However, I do think there are some lessons to be learned and perhaps some personal growth could take place if I stick with the horse thing, and I really have to think if it's the horse or something else, maybe something deeper. Or am I just an over thinker? 🤣

So I can somewhat understand how the OP feels and it's a weird crossroads to be at. It's hard finding the line, and where it is as to how much you can take. It's hard finding direction.

At the end of the day, I know that if/when I leave horses, I could always go back to it if I really wanted to. It's fine to take a breather or walk away completely.

I find that many pressure others to keep the horse, but it's not fair on the horse or the owner. I understand that the "pressure" comes from a place of love and devotion to their own personal horse(s) usually, and that experience shapes our views. Horses can often feel our feelings though, and if the horse thing becomes a burden, task, or raises your stress level, it's not fair to either of you.

Regardless of what you do, it has to be the best decision for you. No one else is standing in your shoes right now. Knowing what's best can be hard and takes some deep soul searching at times.

However you may choose to proceed, OP, I wish you all the best and I do feel bad about what you're going through. I hope that you can find your way and things get a bit lighter.
 
I think being between a rock and a hard place when choosing whether to sell a horse is the worst part of having them. Even when we know they're not a good fit for us in any capacity (time, don't enjoy riding them, money etc.) we still beat ourselves up about doing what's best. I often think in the horse world there's some kind of invisible martyr badge of honour whereby the more crap you put yourself through and the longer you hang on by the skin of your teeth the more deserving you are perceived of having them. I see people getting themselves into all kinds of trouble for the sake of 'doing the right thing' and I just think... be kinder to yourself.
 
The problem is if you've got a lame horse, you're more likely stuck with it until the issue is resolved, it's not like not getting on with it or it being too much for you though I agree in the latter case people sometimes do hang on longer than they need to.

With intermittent lameness with bouts of soundness between, I would want to see the horse in full work and staying sound for a few months before taking it on so I'm not sure a quick decision can be made.

The shoes will allow the workload to increase to see if he stays sound in full work and then a decision can be made. And if the lameness does return then hopefully the vet will investigate further.
 
criso said:
The problem is if you've got a lame horse, you're more likely stuck with it until the issue is resolved, it's not like not getting on with it or it being too much for you though I agree in the latter case people sometimes do hang on longer than they need to.

With intermittent lameness with bouts of soundness between, I would want to see the horse in full work and staying sound for a few months before taking it on so I'm not sure a quick decision can be made.

The shoes will allow the workload to increase to see if he stays sound in full work and then a decision can be made. And if the lameness does return then hopefully the vet will investigate further.
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Ah for sure. My comments were in the general sense.
 
IrishMilo said:
Ah for sure. My comments were in the general sense.
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And I don't disagree. I've seen some many people over horse themselves but don't want to give up.

However in this case I'd say more of several physical issues before a bond has been formed and you don't have the I'll do anything mindset where you end up with a 16.3 high maintenance field ornament for 7 years.
 
Tiddlypom said:
Oh, boo about the saddler. Has she got any suggestions as to who else you could use?

Is Bert getting shod soon?
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Shod tomorrow vet coming at 9.00am to sedate. I will be in meetings most of tomorrow but hopefully will get updated from YO as to how he is.

There is another saddler I can use who another livery uses and can adjust my saddle but I expect a long wait for an appointment and may have to wait till after Easter normally takes a good 8 weeks to get an appointment with any saddler locally. Some liveries have been unable to get appointments with saddlers until May and have been waiting since January.
 
criso said:
Is it worth starting a post with here for recommendations for another saddle fitter to give you some options
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We don't all use the same saddler at the yard and everyone is the same situation the local saddlers all have massive waiting lists to get appointments apart from if you want to buy a £3000 saddle. Some liveries are looking at changing saddle brands based on which saddlers have most availability for post sales checks.

I do have someone to contact who can adjust my saddle who I have used once before to check it. Another livery who uses her also wants an appointment with her so we might be able to share call out. The other livery is very flexible with days unlike me so can do anytime. I am expecting a long wait though by which time my saddler may be back in action though I expect her time may be limited know due to caring responsibilities.
 
SO1 said:
We don't all use the same saddler at the yard and everyone is the same situation the local saddlers all have massive waiting lists to get appointments apart from if you want to buy a £3000 saddle. Some liveries are looking at changing saddle brands based on which saddlers have most availability for post sales checks.

I do have someone to contact who can adjust my saddle who I have used once before to check it. Another livery who uses her also wants an appointment with her so we might be able to share call out. The other livery is very flexible with days unlike me so can do anytime. I am expecting a long wait though by which time my saddler may be back in action though I expect her time may be limited know due to caring responsibilities.
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You really aren't having things easy.

When I was struggling with getting a saddle for my native I borrowed my friends treeless. It was fine for hacking and at least managed to get me out and exercising her
 
Hi SO1, fingers crossed that all goes smoothly for his shoeing tomorrow. If he needs sedation for the farrier going forward, I can recommend Dormosedan Gel from the vets, which you or the staff at the yard can administer. As long as the instructions are closely followed for administering the gel, I found that it had the same results as per IV sedation. The big advantage is that you can use it at a time that fits in with your farrier visiting.
 
Domosedan is better than ACP/Sedalin but not as good as vet sedation. I need vet sedation for teeth as Domosedan doesn't cut it. Just about works for clipping though as he's not as bad in the first place. It depends on how strongly the horse objects to what's going on.
 
SO1 do you actually want to ride Bert? You don't have to answer on the public forum but ask yourself it.
Life pressures have intervened not letting you develop a relationship with him.

To me, waiting for a saddle fitter for months is an excuse, when i don't want to ride i can make a thousand excuses, too hot, too cold , too busy (yes i also have elderly parents) too wet and the list can go on.
As others, including myself, have said there are other options for a temporary saddle.
 
nagblagger said:
SO1 do you actually want to ride Bert? You don't have to answer on the public forum but ask yourself it.
Life pressures have intervened not letting you develop a relationship with him.

To me, waiting for a saddle fitter for months is an excuse, when i don't want to ride i can make a thousand excuses, too hot, too cold , too busy (yes i also have elderly parents) too wet and the list can go on.
As others, including myself, have said there are other options for a temporary saddle.
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I have not ridden him much probably less than 20 times due to lameness/saddle problems and being away at my parents but I have really enjoyed riding him when I have done and was just saying to my instructor and YO when I last rode him before he went lame again which was 3rd March that I was looking forward to being able to start cantering and jumping once his saddle was resolved.

His saddle is ok for trotting but not for cantering as it moves in canter.

The time problem is a genuine issue my sister and BIL want me back at my parents more. I am in London this weekend and then the following weekend back for mum's birthday and then my sister and BIL want me back for Easter. Ideally I should be in Norfolk this weekend as well as last weekend being mothers day as they cannot go to mum and Dad's as BIL working at Morrisons and they have the kids that weekend but that would mean being in Norfolk 4 weekends in a row and I thought with Bert being shod tomorrow and the saddler originally coming on Friday there was a chance that I might be able ride this weekend but I do feel a bit bad not being with mum and dad this weekend. BIL and sister have taken day off work to go round to mum and Dad's on Friday but this will be the first weekend without any of us there I think since they moved.

Up until 4 weeks ago nearly every evening was spent on the phone to my sister try to work out what to do with mum and dad and making decisions. We were both absolutely mentally exhausted and are only just getting over it since August.

I haven't ridden him after work in the winter as I don't get to the yard till 7.30 and by the time I am on it is 8pm and I am not confident enough to ride him in bad weather on my own yet if it is also dark. I am absolutely fine in wind and rain in daylight and with a few more daylight rides I will soon be confident to ride on my own in the evenings alone.

Here I am enjoying Bert on a walk hack before Xmas when he was sound and everything apart from his saddle was great.
 

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I really sympathise over the saddle fitting thing. It's impossible in my area to get a saddle fitting appointment and if you change to another fitter they want you to throw away your existing one and buy a brand new one for £1000's. Hope you get back riding again soon.
 
SO1 said:
Shod tomorrow vet coming at 9.00am to sedate. I will be in meetings most of tomorrow but hopefully will get updated from YO as to how he is.

There is another saddler I can use who another livery uses and can adjust my saddle but I expect a long wait for an appointment and may have to wait till after Easter normally takes a good 8 weeks to get an appointment with any saddler locally. Some liveries have been unable to get appointments with saddlers until May and have been waiting since January.
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I don't think you're a million miles from me - so maybe worth contacting Gemma Bowles at TDS Saddlery. We use her on my yard - she's excellent, and we've never had trouble getting appointments in a reasonable timeframe
 
From some of your posts I feel that you are still missing your previous pony so much it is spoiling your relationship with your new one.
You have had a lot of issues with lameness and saddle fit and problems with your parents which have not helped, however some things like getting a saddle fitter do sound a little bit like excuses for not riding.
Your photo is lovely but to me you look really tense and worried.
I hope having shoes on helps with the lameness and you can get a saddle sorted soon.
I just feel from some of your posts that the main problem is that Bert is not Homey.
Anyway I do hope you get to enjoy Bert for who he is.
 
SO1, I have the impression that your parents have plenty of money to pay for care, but they want you and your sister and BiL to be there instead. This after having chosen to live abroad for many years when they barely saw you day to day.

You may owe them your life in that you wouldn't be here if they hadn't conceived you, but you didn't ask to be born and you don't owe them your life as a mature adult. There are other people who can take a whole weight of their physical care off your shoulders. That isn't their choice to make, it's yours.

We all want to see you settled happy with a sound Bert. Please try and put yourself higher in your list of people to whom you bear a responsibility. Only then, I think, will you be able to work out your relationship with Bert.

I hope the shoeing produces the result you need and you find happiness with him.
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ycbm said:
SO1, I have the impression that your parents have plenty of money to pay for care, but they want you and your sister and BiL to be there instead. This after having chosen to live abroad for many years when they barely saw you day to day.

You may owe them your life in that you wouldn't be here if they hadn't conceived you, but you didn't ask to be born and you don't owe them your life as a mature adult. There are other people who can take a whole weight of their physical care off your shoulders. That isn't their choice to make, it's yours.

We all want to see you settled happy with a sound Bert. Please try and put yourself higher in your list of people to whom you bear a responsibility. Only then, I think, will you be able to work out your relationship with Bert.

I hope the shoeing produces the result you need and you find happiness with him.
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Well said ycbm l too hope Bert is sorted very soon. No can be a very empowering word!
 
SO1 said:
Bert is shod.

A different vet came from practice to do sedation. He said Bert is foot sore but agreed with my vet and farrier that it is not laminitis but due to wet weather.

YO will trot him up tomorrow to see how he is.
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That’s good that they found soreness (not for Bert obviously, but it gives you something to go on).

I really rate Red Horse Field Paste for stopping the mud affecting hooves. Mine gets soft, thin soles every winter and is fine all summer and they’ve improved with the paste.
 
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