Bloody whelks. Bloody self pity. Bloody tomatohead.

I'm just going to have to accept the lack of madlesbianyness... how sad.

I think the drugs must be doing very strange things to my brain.... I've developed a peculiar addiction to the cooking channel....
 
I have just got an email back from the company that makes the hair dye I reacted to...very fast response and also very nice!! Asking me to phone their advisory team as they are "horrified" to hear about what has happened....

marvellous.
 
YE GODS!!!!! NOT COOKING!!!!!!!!!! if you want receipes for sausages, just let me know I have tonnes of them. (sauages in the freezer you know). The whelks are in revolt and have passed it on to their seafood friends. You are just doing this to get your hands on my two slinky dresses. (cunning plan, wasn't someone on the forum looking for lime green lycra;););););)):D:D:D:D:D:D
 
Starzaan said:
I have just got an email back from the company that makes the hair dye I reacted to...very fast response and also very nice!! Asking me to phone their advisory team as they are "horrified" to hear about what has happened....

marvellous.
Click to expand...

I imagine 'horrified' was the least of your reactions!

Can I have some of your hallucinogenic drugs please? I have had one of THOSE days involving a large feline intruder at 1:45 am, leccy fences blown akimbo in the winds, a large bovine intruder, a forgotten appointment with my non-FF (ggod job my girls come to call, even off fresh grass) A gang of scaffolders insisting they had to erect a platform round my chimney pot, and after they got all *****ty and angry they had the cheek to ask for tea. A bale of straw so dusty I would have coughed my heart up if I had one any more.. and now the washing machine is on the blink.

GIVE ME THE DRUGS WOMAN. MY NEED IS GREAT!!
 
have some druggies... but builders wanting to erect things round your chimney pot should have cheered you up...

are you all madlesbiany?
 
Good!

Bring a straw... although I'm sure I can put a cannula in now that I've had a new one shoved in my vein every two seconds for the last week...
 
Had a serious thought (I do have them now and then). Why not go for the very FIT FARRIERS in the Army. They are clean and tidy, can cook and do their own washing and ironing and if you are really bad at the ironing they will do it for you. Think your riding boots will shining so you can see your face in them or perhaps not your face at the moment, don't want to scare yourself. Great Idea Hey What!! My cousin was in the Army and he's a tidy little B*gger.;);););););)
 
I dont think Ive ever replied to one of your threads Starzaan, but wanted to add my get well wishes and gentle, non-canula-damaging hugs!
I love reading your posts, and have to admit that even when so obviously poorly, you are still hilarious!!
Since Im a stranger, I wont offer madlesbiany-ness just yet!
Get well soon, and if you have any spare morphine I'll take a shot - Im having a ladyinred sort of day!xx
 
Blooody hell! You've put me off dying my hair for a while.

But get well soon - theres a pack of butterscotch angel delight in the cupboard, want me to post it to you? xxxx
 
So she's gone again, sleepy byebyes:D:D:D:D. So what do we do about FF or the Mechanic. (I still like the Army Fit Farriers, battled hardened idea) should suit her down to the ground and her mad Sausage waving Mother wouldn't worry them and no doubt would appreasate her Morages. What do you lot think?? On a winner???:cool::cool::cool::cool::cool:
 
Sadly my darlink EchoBravo, my lovely ex is in the army... and after waving him off to Afghanistan I have sworn off army men for good... it's too upsetting to watch someone leave like that, now matter how big their arms are!

I am very much out of it... I'm sure I just saw a rat in a coke bottle...
 
Well at lest they are giving your brain a rest for a couple of days. Just one thought you could always say, you tried cage fighting. Hence black eyes etc:- Listened to it on Radio 4 very brutal.
 
Starzaan I am very very very concerned to see that you are thinking of giving up Men !!

This is unthinkable, as much as the forum can be interesting and informative, your multi men folk dramas posts are definitely the highlight.
Your posts are an oasis amidst the- which bit, which rug and which saddle desert:)

For our sakes you must reconsider.
 
jodie3 said:
Don't panic, I think its only Army men she's given up, either that or they've put some bromide in her drip with the morphine!!
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PMSL :)

Phew ! I shall have a word with myself, about myself, and calm down now.

Blimey it must be super strength bromide to have an effect on Staezaan.
 
You cheeky sod! I could go all nunnish if I wanted to...like a very quick thing.

TWO very quick things in fact.


The mechanic is being downright bloody irritating at the moment. I think I made a bad choice.




















*******s.
 
Starzaan said:
You cheeky sod! I could go all nunnish if I wanted to...like a very quick thing.

TWO very quick things in fact.


The mechanic is being downright bloody irritating at the moment. I think I made a bad choice.




















*******s.
Click to expand...

Plenty more fish in the sea Starzaan. Or whelks in the bucket. Or even sausages in the pan.
 
But you see I'm so charming and lovely and delightful that I'm not very good at saying things that I know will hurt people's feelings (SHUT UP to all of you who just rolled your eyes. I'll fish 'em out with a pickle fork).

So now I have a drug shrouded trilemma.
 
Gosh, just caught up on this (ok i skipped the last page, sorry) and had been wondering where you and your whelks had been. Never a dull moment with you eh? :p

I would be all madlesbiany for you, although perhaps not avec tomato head. Now, are you going for Dubsies plan???

Stop talking to mechanic, he's poop. You need to meet some more hunky men. Once you are recovered i think you should go out for celebrations, you are bound to find someone. Or hang around suitably manly places like a builders yard or something (trying to think of things other than farriery and garages, failing!)

Glad you're still around. Morphine is fab stuff, makes the ceiling go all squishy :D
 
*hides pickle forks* *rolls eyes - twice*

Is more painful to have something with you because they don't want to hurt your feelings.

Roughly translated: ditch the so and so!:cool:


*wanders off looking for a warm and snuggly bed to curl up in as is a tired bunny now*
 
Ewwww Starzaan, you poor thing. Totally missed you swelling up like a tomatohead and nearly dying...
Are you sure it was the hair dye and not an allergic reaction to shellfish.....like....say....whelks? That whelks been bloody quiet the last few days!
 
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