Boggle- USA bound!

[Dustygirl]

So very sorry but relieved for you both that it was a peaceful goodbye. What a special horse he was. Take care of yourself x

 

[Michen]

Thank you everyone. Know that I am reading and re reading all your posts even if I’m not replying directly. I appreciate them all and each once is bringing a little comfort to a very hard day.

I suppose I just feel lost now. My barn set up was really all for Boggle. I’m due to move back into my friends mountain house in January so that I’m near to the horses during the worse months for snow, I’ve purposely planned any holidays etc to be before then so that it’s only ever work travel. I have I suppose now 7/8 months worth of thousands of dollars of hay in the barn for 3 horses.

I don’t know what I’ll do, it seems pointless to be there without him. I don’t even know if I want to be there without him. It was such a special place for us but equally the thought of giving all that up feels desperately sad too. I just don’t know if it’s somewhere that will continue to bring me such peace anymore.

There’s not really any reason I suppose not to just go back to boarding somewhere. Or, put Atlas in the trailer and leave the state. I have friends elsewhere but not the same amount of support network that I have in Colorado.

I guess the thing as always when you don’t know what to do is do nothing. I will hang in Arizona for a bit then drive back to drop the dog off and repack, I head to Africa for two weeks after that. So really I’m out of Colorado for nearly a month.

I feel bad for essentially abandoning Atlas but I just can’t at the moment, and I have extremely competent people looking after and checking in on them including Helos owner.

My mind is clearly in overdrive, lol.

 

[SEL]

Atlas & Helos will be fine and right now you need to take care of you.

 

[callybbi]

So sorry for your loss he was a truly special horse xx

 

[Bradsmum]

Oh my, another in tears for a horse and owner I do not know in real life. Have loved reading his fun adventures and been on tenterhooks through some of the tough times but what a fab place to have his retirement with someone who has done everything in her power to make sure he got what he needed right to the end. Take care of yourself now and know that eventually your Boggle thoughts will make you smile with his antics.

 

[2 Dragons]

So sorry for your loss, he was a very special horse. I have laughed and cried over his antics, You have been very brave, making many difficult decisions but always with Boogle's needs first.

 

[Peglo]

@Michen don’t worry about Atlas. He has Helo and that’s who he really needs. Just concentrate on you.

I can understand that feeling of pointlessness. That empty hole. That missing part of you.
Do let those that make you happy smile though. It feels like you shouldn’t but let’s face it, Bog was always making you smile. I’m fairly certain it was all on purpose.

I’m another than is just so devastatingly heartbroken for you. We really did “get” your relationship with Bog just from what you wrote. It was truly special and it will last forever.

 

[LadyGascoyne]

I put all of my horses into livery after we lost Arizona, and at one point only visited a couple of times a week. Just take it day by day but don’t give yourself a hard time for needing to take the gap when you do. We are only human, and it’s bloody awful when this happens.

 

[wispagold]

I'm so sorry to read your heartbreaking news. Thinking of you

 

[Mosh]

If all horses could be loved by a human as much as you loved Bog than the world would be a much nicer place.
Thinking of you and look after yourself.

 

[Sandstone1]

After a big loss, which this is, its best not to make any major changes. Just allow yourself to grieve and look after yourself.

 

[BallyRoanBaubles]

Look after yourself Michen, thinking of you xx

 

[Pastoral pegasus]

So very sorry that you've had to say goodbye to the wonderful Boggle. Thank you for sharing a bit of him with us. Take care of yourself x

 

[splashgirl45]

I would also say don’t do anything in a rush. Boggle was very happy there and so were you, think of it as a happy place and enjoy South Africa

 

[Ambers Echo]

I am so sorry Michen. Words are hopelessly inadequate. Just wanted to say your tribute to him was beautiful and the letter from the vet confirmed what you aready knew - he was truly unique. Never was a horse more loved. Your courage in making that choice for him, to ensure he crossed rainbow bridge peacefully, with dignity, surrounded by love, is inspirational. Thinking of you in the hard months ahead, and I hope Bog's permssion to love and enjoy Atlas will bring some comfort. xxx

 

[Ahrena]

Don’t make any rash decisions. I moved 200 miles primarily for Lexi and after I lost her, I lost all my heart for the renovations and I didn’t know how I would love this place again. It felt tainted. And I was ringing dealers to sell Rambo immediately because I couldn’t stand to look at him. But time..good old time helped and now it’s my dream again. And I forgave Rambo so he stayed.

I mean you may find in time boarding suits you better with facilities and all that comes with it, but I wouldn’t do anything on a whim. It sounds like you have a good plan for the immediate now to take some space to breathe and come to terms with things a little. Atlas has all he needs and he will be there when you’re ready.

 

[tatty_v]

I have an enormous lump in my throat reading your tribute, he really was truly one in a million. X

 

[TheOldTrout]

Very sorry for your loss. As others have said, you need to take care of yourself now.

 

[Trouper]

The worst decisions are made in the heat of grief and when two souls were entwined as yours were the initial pain is unbearable. Give time a chance to work and feel your way to the right solution for all of you - just as you did for Bog.

 

[Moobli]

What a beautiful heartfelt tribute to a wonderful, truly outstanding little horse. . I’m heartbroken for you but Bog’s was a life well lived … and what a life you gave him! No one could have done more or loved him more. RIP beautiful brave amazing Boggle .

 

[equinerebel]

I truly believe that those we love never really leave us, and I think you’re right that Boggle lead you to your current set up. But it was as much for you as it was for him, and he knew that too.

Perhaps you’ll find that he continues to live in the very fabric of the place. Behind every corner. Out in the distance. Just out of sight but never out of mind. Or you may find that it just doesn’t work without him. Both are fine. Neither are wrong.

Just give it some time and be kind to yourself.

His soul lives on in you and the wonderful memories you have. He will always exist in the love you hold for him and the stories you’ll share.

 

[Millie-Rose]

I'm so so sorry for your loss. I never post but have followed the threads here for years, I remember the ex racer that you lost and the mare before Basil so I have followed Boggles story from the beginning. How much you loved each other shone through and he couldn't have wished for an owner to do more for him. I'm glad that this was on your terms. All we can do as an owner is do the best by them whilst we have them then give them a dignified end when the time is right. You achieved that despite how much it must hurt

 

[wills_91]

What a gutting update to read.

A truly beautiful tribute to your wonderful friend. I have followed his adventures on here for years and sad that this story has now ended. I have no doubt that you made the call at the right time. A brave woman.

Look forward to reading Atlas adventures in time and hope he can bring you some peace and comfort. Take care of yourself

 

[dorsetladette]

Thinking of you

 

[nutjob]

I'm so sorry. You've been extremely brave to do the right thing at the right time and so attentive to recognise the small signs that have told you that there is something amiss. Nobody could have done more. I've taken this to heart and given my own boy a thorough check today, as you know, he's on a similar path.

It's early days to make any big future decisions but I think you will know whether the current barn is the right place when you get back and spend some time there.

 

[Bowie]

If only all of them could have a friend like you. Did type ‘owner like you’ then erased. You didn’t own him. We don’t own them. They are our partners in crime, our friends and everything and more.
Perhaps at the moment the best plan is no plan other than just ‘being’. I am sure Basil and Boggle will form a plan and somehow send the answer to you.
What a wonderful adventure he had. He saw more of the world than many people will in 80 years old life. Cannot help but smile when I think of this thread. What a boy!

 

[HorsesRule2009]

So sorry , I have followed this journey from the start xx

 

[Michen]

Thanks everyone. I felt my spirits lift a bit as soon as I saw the first saguaro, the desert really is a magical place. Hopefully it’ll dry up my tears! Arizona’s warmth is definitely the right place for me at the moment.

I’m going to stop posting for a bit as otherwise you will get my ramblings as my mind works through everything.

Very grateful to you all for everything you’ve written. I’m humbled to know that Bog touched so many <3

 

[toppedoff]

 

[Debsflo1]

Gosh what a lucky horse to have you..... You were destined for each other and I'm so sad for you x