Boggle- USA bound!

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Ceriann

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So incredibly sad to read the update - we all wished him so much longer with you. A life so well loved - it shone through every post you made and every decision you took for him. RIP Boggle and take care of yourself Michen.
 
Peregrine Falcon

Peregrine Falcon

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We all know the pain of loosing a loved horse or pony. But those that hurt the most are the ones that have feelings buried deep in our hearts. They're the ones that we share our most intimate thoughts with, share special moments together and leave hoofprints on our hearts when they are set free. Giving them the freedom is ultimate kindness and a sign of a true partnership.

Sending love to you and all those who cared for Bog. Xx
 
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AutumnDays

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Michen said:
It’s just so weird. How can his soul just not exist anymore
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His soul does still exist sweeting, it exists in your heart and love you have for him, and in the fabulous memories you two made together. He's still with you.

Atlas and Helo will be fine. They have each other and people you trust with them. You haven't abandoned them, you need to put yourself first and just... Process. It's horrible, and frightening, I know, but you are so strong, you've proved it over and over without realising. Allow your emotions to flow

If ever you want to word vomit, rage type or vent at someone who has no judgement, just sympathy, empathy and compassion, by all means send me a message. I won't reply unless you ask, but if "talking" to someone helps, this internet stranger is here for you if needed. Hugs to you and Miss Pepper.
 
Bernster

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I can’t see Michen’s post but I’ve seen the replies and am incredibly sad to read that she’s lost Bog. Even though I’ve never met him and don’t know either of you, he made a huge impression on this forum. A total legend, full of character. I’m so sorry for you Michen, you loved him dearly. He had a lovely life with you.
 
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So sorry @Michen you gave him the most amazing life. He had only known love and had the best of everything right to the end. You can be proud of yourself you did everything you could to try and save him and make sure he had a good quality of life. He was a lucky horse so many are not.

His soul is not gone it remains in your heart. My life changed when I lost Homey. Atlas can't replace Boggle but don't feel guilty that the feelings about him are not the same. I think in some ways that once you have a big loss your head protects you sometimes from loving in the same way. You can offer a lot to Atlas even if you don't have the same bond as with Boggle. I found keeping busy helped. I explained to my work colleagues what was going on. Don't feel guilty about the relief. Most of us don't PTS in a crisis there is a lead up that starts with health issues and managing and worrying about them is stressful. The year I didn't have a horse I realised I was sleeping better and not feeling anxious though I felt lonely and bored a lot of the time and life felt empty.
 
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eggs

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So sorry Michen to hear your news but your tribute to Boggle was wonderful. He was definitely a one-off and it sounds like he went on his own terms.
Making ‘that’ call before there is a crisis is so tough but definitely the right thing to do.
Run free Boggle (with no tripping).
 
Michen

Michen

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I’m functioning, kind of. Made it to Tuscon and got up early this morning to go hike Mt Lemmon. Enough elevation to finally find weather that matches my mood, that’s the thing about here it’s always fricking sunny.

I am very, very weepy. Head in hands, physical, shaking sobbing. I had to sit down on the side of the trail half way through, luckily I didn’t see another person as it was snowing up top and you had to hike up a closed road to the trailhead which no one else was weird enough to want to do. And I got totally taken aback by the huge sense of loneliness I suddenly feel, in the sense of Boggle being my anchor, center and family here in the USA. Wherever he was, was home and now he’s gone and I don’t know where to be anymore so I feel very lost.

Plus I don’t think I’ve ever really dealt with grief in relation to something I loved so much. Lucky I guess to have got this far in life without having to. I lost my grandma but it was slow and she was gone long before she was really gone. I lost Basil who I loved dearly, but it was still not like this- maybe because there was a shock element to the Basil loss or maybe because I’m more mature and thinking/feeling things differently.

Either way it’s horrible, really horrible. And scary.

IMG_4137.jpeg
 
Michen

Michen

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misst said:
Just allow yourself to go with it for a while. It's overwhelming at times but you'll get there x I hope you have people nearby to support you when you want them. X
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Thank you, I do (well not now I’ve driven 800 miles away from them haha) but I am definitely more of a suffer alone type. Or rather I went to Boggle. F***.

I know he’s “just” a horse and people go through far, far worse. Heck I know there is worse in life to come. I had no idea it would hurt quite this much and come with some a variety of reasons why it hurts.

About to make myself a margarita with the tequila my friends sent me away with and restart greys anatomy.
 
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Amymay Again

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Michen said:
Thank you, I do (well not now I’ve driven 800 miles away from them haha) but I am definitely more of a suffer alone type. Or rather I went to Boggle. F***.

I know he’s “just” a horse and people go through far, far worse. Heck I know there is worse in life to come. I had no idea it would hurt quite this much and come with some a variety of reasons why it hurts.

About to make myself a margarita with the tequila my friends sent me away with and restart greys anatomy.
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I'm a suffer alone person too.

But have been surprised recently by how good it felt to 'share' with someone else. Talking is good @Michen, whether we think it is or not. You need a safe place to do that - to release that overwhelming grief. Seek it out xxx
 
Equi

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Different horses and losses provoke different responses, it isn’t always rational. Losing my last horse felt like the world was ending and I too cried and cried but as always time heals. It’s actually a good thing that you’re taking this time out and using it to cry your tears. Much better than bottling it all up and trying to overwork/avoid it. So as above said, go with it. Do what your body/mind/soup is telling you to do.
 
splashgirl45

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Just take one day at a time and make sure you look after yourself and remember to eat even if you don’t feel like it . post on here if you want company, there’s always someone who will know what you are going through, most of us have been there , whether it’s a horse, dog or person. It seems like you will never be able to function but we do although we still keep them in our hearts. I lost my dog in 2016 and thought I was fine until a particular song played while I was driving and I had to pull over as I was crying so much, that has happened twice since she has gone so what you are feeling is absolutely normal and none of us would say he’s only a horse , we know he was much more . Please look after yourself ❤️
 
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I have a long list of losses (mum, dad, grandparents, animals, and the list goes on...) that all kicked off when I was 13 years old. So I've experienced much loss, and some just illicit a different response. Which I think is normal.

I will say that it does get better with time. I never know what to say when others suffer a loss (just had to console someone through a human loss, and their first loss) because it just sucks. It does. Sometimes it feels like it will never get better. Sometimes you think you're fine and then next thing you know, you're sobbing again, but that's fine. When you get hit with one of those waves, you just have to ride it out and soon you'll be back in calmer waters.

It's never a bad idea to talk to a professional after a big loss, or any loss, probably. I did not do any of that until a few years ago and did not realize how much it had all impacted me. Mostly because I was taught to not show emotion and to pack things all away 😀 don't do that! It's also why I probably never truly get close to people/animals, expect to lose everything at any given moment, and am oddly anxious about some things. Don't do that either 🤣

It's a new weird reality that you're living in, so naturally, it will take time to adjust. There's no definitive amount of time. I try to think about what type of positive personal growth and strengths I can take away from sh*t situations. Eventually, you'll come out on the other side of this and find your way.
 
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misst

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There is no such thing as "just a horse" . The most gut wrenching all encompassing grief I have had was for a horse. I have lost both of my parents in their 80s. It was very very sad but the grief I felt for a horse was more raw as future hopes and plans were lost too. Give yourself time and space xx
 
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