Boggle- USA bound!

[Titchy Pony]

I think you need to not look at it as trying to get close to what you felt with Bog, but as trying to build/feel something new.
I will never get back what I had with my Hairy Champion, but then again, I'm no longer the crazy teenager that rode him. My Little Madam is brilliant in a different way and strangely enough I found myself missing her the other day. She is only across my drive way in her stable, but I can't ride her until her foal is born and weaned and I just really felt like some carefree exploring, which I can't do with my current ride.
As a friend once put it, though she was talking about human relations, sometimes you want/need a fireworks display and at other times you realise a good harth fire is what you want now. And I'm sure there are infinite variations between the two.
It is also strange, other people's perception of you as a rider. I ride at a riding school and have never been a one horse rider though I've always had my own/main ride. Depending when people start at the riding school, I get comments along the lines of "it's really strange to see you on a horse" or "it really strange to see you on a pony". The latter is weird to me, because I consider myself a pony rider, I own a pony, I just happen to be riding a 17'2 at the minute.

 

[Peglo]

Wish there was something I could say to make things better M but it just sucks. It’s ok to have down times about it and do whatever you need to to get through. If that’s be sad and mad about it then do that. If it’s to have a wee cry and crack on then that’s ok too.

We’re here if and when you need us even if it’s to be sad and reminisce.

Your story on Insta with the cactus forest was beautiful btw.

 

[Michen]

Thanks. Sorry guys, that was a bad day that’s morphed into a bad morning and I don’t even know why. The jump lesson really triggered my Bog grief which is bizarre as I have been riding Beau even when Bog was retired. And I didn’t care about jumping or not jumping Bog just him himself.

I was elated and buzzy at the end of it and then wooooosh a crying sobbing mess for the rest of the day and have woken up like that too- the tears will not stop pouring down my face FGS

I guess it was dumb to expect I’d ride off into the Arizona sunset with Atlas and be just fine, haha. Thank you guys for your comments I know most of you have been exactly where I am now. I mean I’ve been where I am now but I guess I forgot.

Phew. Hopefully I’ll be less soggy shortly

 

[Surbie]

I haven't been where you are with a horse yet, (and fingers crossed not for years!) but from losing people that matter to me I've learned you have to let yourself have time to grieve. And it comes back at odd times and in odd places.

I hope your day is getting better. x

 

[Equi]

Grief comes in waves and tsunamis sometimes. Sending love M

 

[Michen]

Sorry for the very boring updates! Seem to have got over that horrible wave of grief, have had two jumping lessons since on Beau and really enjoyed them. It’s given me a spring in my step again!

I’ve been so busy with work, life and with Atlas being nearly an hour away and daylight limited it’s been tricky to get down to see him. But he doesn’t need me when he has his herd and friends and he has ticked most of the boxes I needed him to tick before proper backing. I’d like to be do more core work though, and I move into an air b and b 10 mins from the barn next week for a month so I’ll be able to get there more often.

The barn has just started irrigation and he’s delighted to find some mud! Went to visit him for the first time all week today and he was as cute and lovely as ever.

The weather is just awesome, early to mid twenties although nearing 30 for a bit next week. Living in flip flops during the day and enjoying that desert warmth. There’s a driving loop you can do within the Saguaro national park which is ten mins from my air b and b and I make a point of doing it once a week at sunset because it’s unbelievably beautiful and I truly feel there is something healing about the place. Yep, turning into a total hippy.

Vaguely considering spending April in San Diego and then road tripping up to Seattle and spending a month there, then driving back to Colorado with Pepper. Atlas would be fine staying where he is and there’s really no rush to be getting him going. All in good time. He’s physically looking far more mature though, definitely not like the spindly little thing that arrived in autumn.

Everything feels very free and fluid and that’s pretty great. Putting to one side the fact that Trump is busy wrecking the country, of course

 

[Cloball]

He's really chunked out hasn't he ( In a good way), he looks much broader and deeper in the body his legs look chunkier too if that's possible

 

[teapot]

Hes gonna be a cracker once fully filled out/grown I think!

 

[Michen]

Just pulled atlas in very ataxic from the field. Took 3 of us to get him in with a rope. Waiting for vet.

Please keep everything crossed I guess I just shouldn’t have horses.

He is very perky and cheeky at least.

 

[Dave's Mam]

Oh no. @Michen I hope he is ok. Sending love & hugs.

 

[Michen]

Thank you f*** poor damn horse I can’t believe it. Can’t even tell you how sick to my stomach seeing a wobbly horse makes me.

 

[Dave's Mam]

Hope the vet is there soon & Atlas & you are ok soon.

 

[Caol Ila]

Oh, Jesus. I hope he is okay. Send me an FB message if you want. I will be up for a while (as always).

 

[LadyGascoyne]

Oh goodness Michen. Thinking of you.

 

[Michen]

Steroids, vitamin E, EPM test, DMSO. Neck x rays in clinic if I choose next week. Vet agrees totally ataxic all over.

I am going to throw up. This is everything we did and went through with Boggle. How, how on earth.

 

[Caol Ila]

FFS. Totally sucks. Vet have any theories?

*hugs*

 

[Michen]

Yeh, a neck problem/injury is high on the list. But he won’t weight bear on his left hind so it’s presenting very weirdly.

 

[Caol Ila]

Poor wee guy, and poor you. Why can't horses ever be easy!

 

[Michen]

I think I’m going to give him a week and if he’s not significantly improving I will PTS.

I’m not going down this EPM s*** hole if it is that, it doesn’t have a good success rate and it’s hugely expensive to treat.

I’m not doing the whole is it the neck, X ray, not really have clear answers because it’s not a CT thing either.

I just won’t. I absolutely refuse to go down this route with another horse least of all one that I’ve had for a matter of months.

What kind of sick joke is this to have this happen again, at least the vets job was easy she didn’t have to explain anything to me because I already know.

I’m just done. And poor, poor Atlas.

Jokes on me for not insuring him once again.. lol. Clearly learned from my mistakes though this isn’t even a money factored decision it’s a I CANNOT do this again. Mentally.

 

[Caol Ila]

Yeah, I think that's fair.

Everything crossed it's like a weird tweak the wee guy can bounce back from. This completely sucks.

 

[Michen]

Pretty messed up eh? Yeah, I should not own horses. Clearly trying to do my best for them just doesn’t work.

 

[Smitty]

I have no words, just a huge amount of sympathy for horse and you.

 

[FestiveFuzz]

Oh @Michen I've just caught up. How bloody awful after all you’ve been through. I’m heartbroken for you and keeping everything crossed it turns out to just be a minor tweak and he’s just a sensitive soul. Absolutely understand and support your plan of action though xxx

 

[SEL]

Michen I'm so sorry, this is so unfair and poor Atlas. I absolutely understand why you couldn't go through this again so I'm keeping everything crossed he bounces back xx

 

[View]

Just how? I’m just lost for words. Whatever happens, looking after you is the number one priority, so I think your review in one week plan is sensible.

Hugs.

 

[BallyRoanBaubles]

Oh michen I have no words

 

[Jeni the dragon]

I'm so, so sorry @Michen for you and the wee guy! Your plan makes complete sense.
Sending masses of hugs and hoping Atlas can bounce back.

 

[Petalpoos]

Oh my, Michen. I am so shocked and so sorry to read this. It really is unbelievable, the Universe can be a real s*** sometimes. I think your plan makes perfect sense, you can’t go through all that again, nor can Atlas, but I am really hoping for both of you that it will just be some weird blip and he will be OK. Big hugs.

 

[rabatsa]

Bugger, bugger, bugger.

Hugs and wishes for things to get better pdq.

 

[Bradsmum]

Really don’t know what to say. Hope it is turns out to be a blip and Atlas improves quickly but can totally understand your plan of action. So, so sad but have everything crossed for you and poor Atlas