Bought unseen problems returning

[meandmyself]

Just a thought - one easy thing you could do is start treating him for ulcers, just in case.
Mine gets https://www.feedmark.com/en/ultimate-gastro-ease-horse-digestion-supplement which has helped loads. It goes right in his feed (ask the YO to give him a bit of sugar beet) and may really help!

A good feed balancer might also be a good idea, just to top up anything he's lacking.

 

[wills_91]

I think this is very sad. Obviously it's hugely disappointing to have been scammed like this. But he is your responsibility at the end of the day, and seeing the horse and handling him etc doesn't mean you'll automatically get attached. There's a time when we have to step up, and this is your time.

Having horses is hard, hard work. Even the perfect ones make it stressful.

Washing your hands of him is not the answer. I'd see this as a fabulous opportunity to learn, grow in confidence and except a challenge you weren't expecting.

He's on full livery being cared for. Hardly washing her hands.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

I've posted before about the new mare the RDA group bought, possibly racmun's thread but I'll repeat it

After several wasted journeys, some a lot longer than I am ever prepared to make when buying a horse for myself, 3 extremely experienced ( at least 150 yrs between us) members of the committee viewed a suitable mare - and she wasn't too far away. She came from a dealer that we have dealt with before who assured us that shewould makeagood RDA horse.
We viewed her 3 times, including the vetting, testing her reactions in all sorts of situations, saw her behaviour as she was led across a field with a loose colt, saw her in a mixed herd and eventually got her back to the farm where the RDA group is based. She wasnt put straight into the herd but when she joined them, she was defensive and aggressive towards, the others, both mares and geldings. She was protective of any food including hay.
For the next 3 months we didn't feel that we could put a disabled rider on her but the volunteers who are riders rode her in the sessions to get her used to being led with 2 side-walkers. Then our season ended and she was turned out over winter with the herd, being hacked out in company once or twice a week until the new season started in Spring. She's now joining in the RDA sessions with a variety of riders and in the field is just another member of the settled herd.
I remember when my sister and i got our first horse. We didn't do much within, except feed him x2 per day for the1st week, with no problems until i went to catch him to ride at the weekend, when he tried to kick me! We got over that and had a great time with him for the next 8yrs when he had to be pts after a field accident
It takes most horses a while to settle I any new home.

 

[supertramp]

Just to add about my trials with my Section D, looking back I was told such a load of bunkham about him, Allegedly he had his shoes removed as was fine bare foot, Hmm, farrier thinks he had never been shod before, and he hated having his feet touched, it took a long time to de sensitize him, lots of picking feet up, making sure he was happy with this, and then moving onto gently tapping feet with a small hammer. His teeth were in a state, sharpe edges, leaving little ulcers, no wonder he didnt want to have a bridle on, poor bugger. Had a physio out, she asked me if i liked him, and at the time all i could say was he frustrated me, as he dragged me to the field in a very unpleasant manner. I think what im trying to say is that these things are sortable, with good support, no judgements, and time, time is important. I feel lucky to have found such a loving happy joyful nosey pony, and Im very glad I didnt give up. I was very lucky.

 

[Amymay Again]

He's on full livery being cared for. Hardly washing her hands.

Well it sort of is. By the op's admission she doesn't want to see him. I'm sorry they're in this position. But it is what it is. And the hard work is down to them really.

 

[wills_91]

Well it sort of is. By the op's admission she doesn't want to see him. I'm sorry they're in this position. But it is what it is. And the hard work is down to them really.

My 2 are on full livery at the moment. I haven't seen them in 8 weeks. Washing my hands? No. I just simply do not have the time so they are cared for and cared for well.

She can leave him like this for as long as she needs to get herself into a better frame of mind to deal with this situation. There really is no harm in that.

Sometimes I find this forum a really odd place.

 

[marmalade76]

The back end conformation, the posture, the lack of muscle tone, and that was just in the first glance. I dont understand how anyone can look at that photo an think, yeah great, I'll recommend that one to my novice client.



People who want safe and sound and up to some weight and looks like a barbie pony.

So find me a 15hand cob in a pretty colour, buckskin or palomino, possibly spotty, thats safe enough for RDA use. Presented immaculately at a good quality dealers with a good reputation and excellent customer service for 5k, you wont find one for anywhere near that. It isnt going to happen. And for him to be 5k he was bought for 1k tops.

Anyone with eyes can see he's not well muscled nor fit and they haven't even bothered to tidy him up. He's obviously been dragged out of a field and had some tack and a rider thrown on. All they say is he's good in traffic & easy to handle and basically nothing else, suitable for RDA is neither here nor there, it's just an opinion which most folks would take with a pinch of salt. No one would pay £15k for this horse so I don't see in what world he should be £10k more.

 

[Amymay Again]

My 2 are on full livery at the moment. I haven't seen them in 8 weeks. Washing my hands? No. I just simply do not have the time so they are cared for and cared for well.

She can leave him like this for as long as she needs to get herself into a better frame of mind to deal with this situation. There really is no harm in that.

Sometimes I find this forum a really odd place.

As you'll be well aware, the two situations are in no way comparable.

 

[Exasperated]

Anyone with eyes can see he's not well muscled nor fit and they haven't even bothered to tidy him up. He's obviously been dragged out of a field and had some tack and a rider thrown on. All they say is he's good in traffic & easy to handle and basically nothing else, suitable for RDA is neither here nor there, it's just an opinion which most folks would take with a pinch of salt. No one would pay £15k for this horse so I don't see in what world he should be £10k more.

??? Things are worth whatever people will pay for them. And this one has been bought. Just leave it at that, debating ‘value’ is irrelevant, salt in a raw wound - not constructive.

 

[marmalade76]

??? Things are worth whatever people will pay for them. And this one has been bought. Just leave it at that, debating ‘value’ is irrelevant, salt in a raw wound - not constructive.

It was in response to someone who said he "should" have been £10k more - not for something that looks unfit and has clearly not done a lot (ad says he's been out in traffic and to the beach, he's obviously green regardless of his temperament). Horse was £5k BTW.

 

[irishdraft]

OP please don't be so down over this horse, I think he looks a nice sort who is probably completely uneducated and hasnt had the best previous life. He is probably anxious about all the changes in his life. I could tell you about so many people I know including myself who have bought horses and they have turned out to be nothing like they expected when first owning them. My own mare has taken well over a year to settle and will still give me black looks about things, my friend has taken nearly 4 years to get to grips with her cob who is also incredibly anxious and was sold to her as a kick along cob. Accept that you are unlikely to be able to return him and just spend time doing low key stuff and ignore any ears back behavior and let him settle down for a few weeks and then if possible get some help with him and hopefully make a decision over his future. It's so disappointing when this happens but I can assure you, you are not the first and won't be the last. I hope you are able to report back with some good news xx

 

[Boulty]

Have a hug.

Plenty of people on this forum have bought horses unseen that have turned out to be absolute gems once the rough edges have been polished off. The difference is those people had a lot of experience & backup to help with the polishing.

Buying unseen is a massive gamble for the inexperienced and certainly not something I’d personally think myself “good” enough to succeed at.

But what’s done is done and it sounds like you are highly unlikely to see your money again sadly even though you are legally entitled to return him which as already mentioned would leave trying to find someone willing to take him on for probably less than you paid for him if you can find someone willing to take a punt or trying to make the best of things with some professional support and seeing if he’s closer to what you thought you’d bought when he’s settled.

Not everything that ends up on the dealer roundabout is irreparably broken but some are and a lot are younger and less experienced than they’re advertised as being (ie the dragged out of a field & had a rider chucked on with little to no prior training for some photos to make a quick buck variety).

He is underweight & undermuscled with not the best posture but someone who’s seen him move in person would be best placed to say whether he’s sound or not. (NB a horse can look “sound” and still have physical issues going on and what one vet will pass as sound another won’t depending on how good their eye is / how picky they are)

It’s fairly common for a horse who is feeling pretty stressed about life to be a bit protective about their space and their food. Doesn’t always mean they’ve been starved but sometimes it can. Would prefer a horse who pulls faces over one that kicks / tries to corner you in the stable (When I first got the Welsh one I used to have to tie him up to do ANYTHING to him or he would swing his arse on you to trap you & would kick out if pressured. Much better behaved if you had control of his head. Definitely also did a few walls of death booting all the walls of the stable. Erm also threatened to come over the door a few times He did eventually improve (& then improved even more when we left that yard as for unknown reasons he never really liked it there!) Same horse was a nightmare for vets (mainly with needles) and for shoeing (wish I’d known more about barefoot earlier on in my ownership of him) but if you knew and respected his triggers then he was perfectly safe to deal with & a lot of it came from a place of anxiety and fear. (& Welshness!)

 

[I'm Dun]

It was in response to someone who said he "should" have been £10k more - not for something that looks unfit and has clearly not done a lot (ad says he's been out in traffic and to the beach, he's obviously green regardless of his temperament). Horse was £5k BTW.

And yet no one can find me one the same but not wrecked and at a dodgy dealers for anywhere near 5k and absolutely not for the 1k tops its cost the dealer to get it in.

Anyway, I'm out. This whole situation is an absolute mess and as usual its going to be the horse thats the loser and quite frankly I'm sick of seeing that not just here, its everywhere.

Good luck OP, please find a way to get a vet out to vet this horse ASAP.

 

[Kirstineridesagain]

I very rarely comment on these posts but...I appreciate you have some serious health issues and that you wanted a horse to help get you out and feeling better. With a little bit of help, which someone may give for free or very little cost, you do have a horse and potentially a very rewarding project. He may have significant health issues but horses can get hurt or sick any time - we cannot avoid that risk. He may still be good for you in many ways even if he doesn't seem suitable for riding. I would suggest considering how he might be a good thing and still of some value to you, whilst you do your best for him. Lots of people on this forum have had unridden horses that are absolutely brilliant in terms of interest, comfort, companionship, learning and health. I wish you well @Jasmine2023 whatever you decide but hope you can develop a bit of interest in your horse.

I’ve owned my horse since October (imported in January) and haven’t ridden her yet (she’s pregnant). She brings me and my family so much joy already. I never thought I would enjoy just being with her without riding her as much as I am. Granted, she didn’t arrive with the issues Jasmine describes, but her personality was quite different when she first arrived - jittery, jumpy and far from the peaceful horse she is now. Some horses need months to settle, and the first week or two or three are definitely not the time to judge a horse’s personality.

I hope he settles and becomes easier to handle if you do decide to keep him, or he ends up in a knowledgeable home that will look after him. All the best with your health issues.

 

[Boulty]

Not entirely sure if this will make you feel better (maybe not) but here is a photo of a horse I bought when I was 15 (with some parental assistance).



My yard owner at the time used to buy a fair few horses / ponies off a particular dealer she knew who I believe used to source a lot of them from Ireland (probably from another dealer) to either eventually use in the riding school if they were suitable or sell on once the yard kids (not me, the actual competent ones!) had put some schooling into them for a few months & they’d been tidied up and put some condition on.

This was allegedly an Irish hunting pony. He was rude, he was bargy, he liked squishing people against walls, he was a PITA to catch, he wouldn’t stand to be mounted / wouldn’t stand full stop if I’m honest, he could be very strong, he successfully sodded off with me when I hacked him out when I was trialling him. He was also underweight and poorly muscled. I’ll admit he scared me a bit and it wasn’t exactly love at first sight. Alas the much more polite Connemara pony that she’d also acquired with me in mind turned out to be on the verge of being too small and parents did the classic “it’s this one or nothing”.

Rather a lot of help (15 yr old me was a bit crap) later he became my heart horse and started to look a bit less like he was living feral in a bog.






Along the way he also jumped over a wheelbarrow that was being used to block a doorway by one of the staff (cos yup this was another yard that used to do that sometimes if we were skipping out… deffo not a sensible idea with something that barges) and had a fun 10 minutes cantering around on concrete, missed multiple farrier appointments, occasionally lived feral for days at a time when he wouldn’t be caught, nearly ran someone over who was resetting a jump (it’s ok he later turned out to be such an appalling human being I wish we HAD ran him over!) & sadly developed hock arthritis a few years down the line. I did eventually ditch the flash & martingale a few years down the line when I knew better (but tbf 15 year old me probably couldn’t initially have held him without them)



Anyhow probably don’t take any actual advice from me as I have a habit of buying horses that then break themselves in fun and interesting ways!

 

[marmalade76]

And yet no one can find me one the same but not wrecked and at a dodgy dealers for anywhere near 5k and absolutely not for the 1k tops its cost the dealer to get it in.

Anyway, I'm out. This whole situation is an absolute mess and as usual its going to be the horse thats the loser and quite frankly I'm sick of seeing that not just here, its everywhere.

Good luck OP, please find a way to get a vet out to vet this horse ASAP.

Why should anyone else spend their time looking, look yourself!

 

[SO1]

I have been taking a bit of a break from the forum for MH reasons but I saw your post and really it moved me and I wanted to say you could have done everything right and still ended up with a stressful situation.

You could have bought a more expensive horse, viewed it and it pased a 5 stage vetting and had help from professionals and it still not have worked out. There is a huge element of luck involved with horses and it is heart breaking, stressful and expensive when it goes wrong. Your 15k perfect hacking cob who passes a vetting could go lame within days of arriving due to slip in tbe field. A horse that is easy to ride maybe not be easy to handle on the ground and vise versa.

Sometimes the gods are in your favour and other times they are not. You did take a big risk not viewing the horse. People feel comfortable buying from a dealer because they feel reassured that they can return the horse within a certain time if it doesn't work out which you don't get if buying privately.

You have had a massive shock. You were excited with your new horse arriving and then it all went wrong. This happens a lot.

As mentioned horses that have not had turnout for a while will often be difficult to handle and can be grumpy. If he has been deprived of food and moved around a lot he could have an ulcer which could make him grumpy. For 5k I would not be surprised if he is younger than you think and maybe not long backed especially if on a replacement passport. Could even be an ex breeding stallion not long gelded.

The yard staff have managed to turn out and catch in without any problems so that is a very positive sign. He is not overweight so you have a bit of leeway before you need to start exercise another positive. If he was very lame it might been noticeable when he barged out and ran off. He may act differently now he is getting turnout. I don't think you can compare a horse on box rest which it sounds like he was during the quarantine period with a horse being turned out. I am not surprised he jumped over the wheel barrow he was probably fed up with box rest.

One thing I have learnt is if riding is really important then unless you are very wealthy or have your own land so don't need livery and can afford multiple horses then it is better to not have a horse and ride at riding schools, do riding holidays, or get a share. I have been on livery yards for the best part of 25 years as a sharer and owner and never known anyone who has had a horse and it not to have had a medical issue at some point that has meant it cannot be ridden. Horse are not designed to be ridden.

You can't change the past. You don't want to get attached to the horse as you want to send him back or rehome him. Others have said that won't happen because it is so early on but you know yourself best. For some of us it only takes a few days before you become attached. If you really are adamant that you want to rehome you may need to stay away from the yard if you are the kind of person that is easily attached and would find it hard to let go. I am that sort of person so I do understand.

It looks like return to dealer and getting a refund is going to be challenging. You could return the horse and try to persue a refund and cut your losses and take some time to think about it you are mentally strong enough for horse ownership.

I actually think you have to be mentally very strong to be a horse owner especially if you are not wealthy. I had a nervous breakdown not long after I got Homey related to his behaviour combined with myself getting gastric flu and depression. I was in a really bad way. So much so that my mum had to come over from France and stay with me in the flat share I was in for a few weeks if you knew my parents you would know how serious that was for mum to come (dad very controlling and didn't like to allow her to visit due to cost of flights he didn't even like her calling me and my sister because of cost of international calls).

Buying Homey was a really bad idea. Buying another horse 15 years later after he had to be PTS was an even worse idea.

Now I have a better understanding of mental health I realise both decisions were due to depression and mental health issues related to not having a partner or children.

What I would say is that I wanted to sell Homey when I first got him as he kept jumping out of his stable. I had him stabled at a riding school and he could live out with the riding school ponies but everyone needed to come in overnight for worming every three months for 24 hours. I then managed to find a grass livery for him and moved him and myself. After 5 years of never having a night stabled but coming in occasionally for a few hours during the day, he got kicked and broke a splint bone which meant a long period of box rest and a huge bandage. He jumped out of his stable the first morning. Tried moving him to an indoors stable so he couldn't see the others going out and sedation but in the end that was not working either so he went to a professional rehab yard who said they could manage him with a full grid up plus there would be a group of horses all on box rest so he would never be alone. First night he banged the door most of the night and didn't eat his hay but eventually did settle and completed his box rest. He then came back as a part livery when there was a death due to sycamore poisoning at the grass livery and he stayed for 7 years as a part livery in at night. He did have a weave grill up but could still get his head out but never showed any signs of wanting to jump out. At the riding school he had climbed out through a weave grill. So I wanted to sell when I first got him for behaviour reasons but didn't and we had 15 years together..

My mental health issues have lead me to make many bad decisions so I do understand how hard it is when you have a mental health issue.

I really regret getting another horse after loosing Homey but horse addiction is hard to break....The last 18 months of his life was really tough emotionally and financially and if felt like my world ended when he died and I was so alone but I did have a year of no financial worries and freedom when I did not have a horse. I expected new horse to be perfect and wonderful as he was rather expensive and of course things have not turned out as I had hoped.

I completely understand that when you have a mental health everything can easily become overwhelming. I would never recommend someone with mental health issues to buy a horse but so many of us do.

There are so many things in my life I wish I had done differently and in a lot of ways I wish I had never got involved with horses. Dad felt if I rode and got horses it would keep me out of trouble, prevent me from getting into boys and alcohol, drugs etc and mean that my parents would not have to amuse me. It worked and they were my friends when I felt alone and without family but I did get horse addiction and it has definitely led to bad decisions.

New Forest number two caused me some issues within weeks of getting him and nearly two years in still having issues with him. I really ought to rehome him but easier said than done as I get attached too. He is good in the stable never jumped out though and has improved massively in terms of being handed by the vet due to seeing him so much he is really not bargy with vet anymore vet joked that he seems to really like him now and he is no longer scared of farrier. Not needing any sedation for shoeing and really improved with his ears being handled. It was difficult to get his bridle on him needed a treat because of his ears but no need for treat now. Also tried to kick me when first got him if I approached with saddle but that soon stopped. Horses from dealer may be sharing tack which may not always fit as well as it should. It was also difficult to pick out his feet and he tried to kick me when I tried to do that at first but now one of the grooms mentioned he was the best to pick hooves out as he picks up his feet straight away. He was so nervous when he arrived YO suggested calming supplement.

 

[jojo5]

Everything has been said really (including a fair few things that shouldn’t have been). But, OP, here is your chance to learn all there is to know about your new horse. He is currently confused and defensive and who wouldn’t be in his situation? Slow, tiny, tiny steps with everything should be the way to go. Break everything down way more than you think it needs to be. He ‘doesn’t want to be brushed’? Stand by him at the box door and let him hear your voice ( your voice is what is going to become his safe place). Then next time stand by him at the box door holding the brush. Then next time stand by him at the box door and let him smell the brush. Then next time, find out where on his body he will accept that you can touch him with your hand. Then next time move your hand like a brush ………..you get the picture. If one of these is not acceptable to him, go back a step. This lad needs someone to be on his side, rooting for him.

 

[ThreeFurs]

I was always someone who just 'wanted to ride' and didn't have much in my groundwork toolbox. Didn't want to turn into a 'rope twirler'. Then five years ago I retired my by then 23 yo dressage schoolmaster, and I was heart-broken.

But, the relationship has only gotten closer, and now he's my emotional support horse. I am on my two feet and he is on his four, and when we look into each other's eyes its like being in a gorgeous bubble. I take him for walks, I hang out with him, and tune-in. You have to do that differently while in the saddle, you have to 'feel' how they are with your body. My need to ride is met with an on property loan horse I've been riding for three years, and he's gorgeous too, but its different relationship.

My point is, lots can be done with the un-ridden horse [in fact there's a Facebook group dedicated to just this kind of relationship]. There is communication stuff that can be as, or more fulfilling, you just need some guidance.

I have actually been terribly moved by the free episodes of Camp TRT , that Tristan Tucker has been putting up on his YouTube. 5 horse/owner pairs, and my god .. the issues. One man's mare is terrified of close spaces, rears, slips, falls, bolts, goes berserk.

The amateur owners are all experienced riders, but have reached absolute final road blocks with behavioral issues. The horses are all to a degree, dangerous, and they're big, powerful, scary as f**k young warmbloods, who have been in many cases, totally out of control.

It is incredibly to see each of these partnerships improve. Heres Ep 1 x

 

[sollimum]

I was thinking about this last night when I couldn't sleep. He is the right horse for someone but maybe not you. If that's the case and he is on full livery, then would it not be best to find a training yard and have him there and ask them to assess him and work out what he knows and doesn't, with a view to placing him in a new home?

Maybe he will turn out to be the cob for you but you need help at this stage, to work it all out.

Horses can be so amazing for our mental health but also very very hard.

So I think you are doing the right thing, trying to think things through. Make a plan of action, ask for recommendation of training yards and go from there.

I am not sure where you are based but I do know some highly thought of in the South if that helps.

 

[Janique]

Dear Jasmine,

I feel terribly sorry for you, you seems to be in a bad place health wise.

It migth have seems a good thing to buy a horse to help you with your physical and mental problems, however, even if horses are great healer and
can help with mental health, i really feel that if you have a degenerative diseases, you would be better off riding at a riding school or even loaning a nice
horse.

Buying a horse is a huge commitment and even if you buy from nice people, so many things can go wrong...

There are so many things to consider and even if you have no physical or mental problems, it's not easy, you have to be very lucky for everything to go smoothly from the start.

You should think of yourself first and get better before you take the responsabilites of owning a horse.

Either you could find someone willing to help you with Ozzi, someone with experience or you could simply return him and move on.

Bringing back would mean, you would lose the money but at least, you could spend time getting better and maybe later on, take some lessons or find a horse on loan.

Whatever you decide, good luck, at the end of the day, you can only do your best and even if it's a expensive mistake, you have to move on.

 

[tristars]

I think this is very sad. Obviously it's hugely disappointing to have been scammed like this. But he is your responsibility at the end of the day, and seeing the horse and handling him etc doesn't mean you'll automatically get attached. There's a time when we have to step up, and this is your time.

Having horses is hard, hard work. Even the perfect ones make it stressful.

Washing your hands of him is not the answer. I'd see this as a fabulous opportunity to learn, grow in confidence and except a challenge you weren't expecting.

Fabulous advice,

This is the time to step up as A M says

Forget yourself, this creature needs help, sometimes you have to surpass yourself, go through that door, if you could do good here you may come out other side a different person

 

[Peglo]

Dear Jasmine,

I feel terribly sorry for you, you seems to be in a bad place health wise.

It migth have seems a good thing to buy a horse to help you with your physical and mental problems, however, even if horses are great healer and
can help with mental health, i really feel that if you have a degenerative diseases, you would be better off riding at a riding school or even loaning a nice
horse.

Buying a horse is a huge commitment and even if you buy from nice people, so many things can go wrong...

There are so many things to consider and even if you have no physical or mental problems, it's not easy, you have to be very lucky for everything to go smoothly from the start.

You should think of yourself first and get better before you take the responsabilites of owning a horse.

Either you could find someone willing to help you with Ozzi, someone with experience or you could simply return him and move on.

Bringing back would mean, you would lose the money but at least, you could spend time getting better and maybe later on, take some lessons or find a horse on loan.

Whatever you decide, good luck, at the end of the day, you can only do your best and even if it's a expensive mistake, you have to move on.

I tried to write something along these lines several times but I couldn’t express my thoughts as eloquently and kindly as this. Lovely post Janique

If I wanted my sanity I would not have gotten horses.

Could you at least see what the prices of training yards are compared to the full livery you’re paying and consider getting Ollie help to set him up for a new owner since you’ve decided you don’t want anything to do with him?

He may come good with proper handling and some consistency and you might not end up losing that much money once he’s been checked over to see what you’re actually working with.

Your YO has let you down several times and I would’ve lost trust in them to do right by you now.

 

[cauda equina]

A good training yard sounds an excellent plan - Ozzy deserves the chance to be his best self, whether with the OP or someone else

 

[Lucky Snowball]

I don’t agree that there’s necessarily anything physically wrong. Bad handling, being mistreated, changing home several times and shut in a strange stable would account for his behavior. Lots of ponies have poor conformation but give a lifetime of enjoyment to their riders well into old age.
Imagine how you’ll feel the first time he Whinneys to you.

 

[scats]

Hi OP, I won’t repeat what other people have said about the mistakes you made buying this horse. You aren’t the first and, sadly, you won’t be the last.

I think you have 2 main options here. I find it’s often helpful to work out the ways you can deal with the situation, as it helps you see a clear path.

1) Sell the horse on now. Find a reputable sales livery and speak to them about whether they might be able to do this for you. Accept you will likely make a loss.

2) Get professional help and see if you can work with this horse. Perhaps given time to settle, consistent handling and clear expectations, he might just turn into a horse you want to keep. And if not, you can then sell him on with a bit more mileage under his belt. Either way, you will learn a lot along the way from the professional help and you will be a better and more experienced horse owner as a result. This is never a bad thing. You will use this knowledge going forwards.
But please be careful about the professional you choose. Do your research, read reviews, look at their social media, ask on here… there is a wealth of knowledge on this forum and we cover all areas of the UK. Chances are, someone will have had experience with them.
I would be very wary of anyone or anything your YO suggests.

At the centre of all this is an animal who didn’t ask for any of this to happen. He’s been moved around a few times in a short space of time and he doesn’t understand what people want from him, because he’s probably never been taught. Don’t assume that he should know how to behave or act, because he doesn’t. Please keep that in mind. He has not purposefully set out to ruin your life, he’s as much of a victim in this as you are.

 

[nutjob]

Bad handling, being mistreated, changing home several times and shut in a strange stable would account for his behavior.

I totally agree with this, having had a cob myself I would say that barging out of doors, into, over and through people and pulling faces is not unusual. A door cracked open was an open door as far as he was concerned and he took a number of people skiing behind him off a headcollar after they were specifically told only to lead in a bridle.

This horse is an attractive boy with a lovely face and if behaviour is his only issue then this OP has got a bargain or alternatively will not lose money selling him to someone who knows cobs and is prepared to work with him.

The total lack of muscle development in an 8 yo is however unusual, the horse is very weak for his age whether in work or not. I have an unridden 6yo who doesn't look like this one. Also, standing camped under at the front and back. This may be a moment in time in the ad but OP now has the opportunity to spend some time observing him in the field to see if he naturally stands like this or is able to stand more square given his freedom. The hind legs may or may not have a broken forward hoof pastern axis, it looks like it to me but then I've been looking at a lot of horses recently and tend to look for it. If I was the OP I would also be looking to see how far the fetlocks drop when the horse walks. The hocks are a little straight, again not unusual in a cob, but not a good thing.

The horse market has been stronger this last 5 years than pre covid and it would be unusual for a horse to be parked in a field from 3-8 doing nothing rather than being sold but again the history is unknown. It looks more like a 3yo to me than an 8 yo. If the age is nearer 8 then I personally would be worried that he's been ragged round in a cart at a young age and now has suspensory issues and I would be bringing this up with a vet as to the possibility of this. Mine was difficult and dangerous to ride even for a pro when he had suspensory problems and wasn't lame due to it being a bilateral problem. Because of my previous experience I'd have the suspensory's scanned but getting a vet to palpate may give a clue.

 

[2big2small]

How are you doing now Jasmine?

I have been in your shoes and it’s such an awful feeling but you will make the right decision and things will get better.

Have you had any further thoughts a few days down the line? Some great advice has been given and I hope has helped you see some options ahead

 

[GrassChop]

Have you tried searching his passport name on Facebook/Google etc? See if anything comes up.

 

[mariew]

Fabulous advice,

This is the time to step up as A M says

Forget yourself, this creature needs help, sometimes you have to surpass yourself, go through that door, if you could do good here you may come out other side a different person

I tried to stay away but in your opinion is this good advice for someone long term depressed ?I am not a doctor, I don't know what advice should be.

I get everyone wants to do right by the horse but the amount of emotional pressure onto a mentally unwell person on this thread is quite staggering.
The horse is fine and being looked after. Nothing else needs to happen until op chooses otherwise.