Cheeky/ridiculous posts you see on Facebook.

kaiserchief said:
Another corker - work 20 hours a week for free in exchange for not enough land to do anything with...
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Haha I saw that too and thought, "I bet that will end up on the cheeky posts thread". Especially because the work is managing a swimming pool. It's not even related (or close to, judging by the photo) to the land!
 
kaiserchief said:
Another corker - work 20 hours a week for free in exchange for not enough land to do anything with...
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That one stumped me too. You'd be spending half the working week managing a swimming pool (!) in exchange for a tiny pitch for your own static caravan, that isn't big enough to develop any kind of self sufficiency. I can't see how that's an attractive deal for anyone.
 
Just saw this on FB. Not cheeky or ridiculous, but quite funny.

A bit of fun for the day :-)
If Sarah carries 5 flakes of hay while wearing 2 jackets and a turtleneck, what percentage will end up in her bra? What if it’s “the good bra you don’t wear to the barn but did today”?

Sharon put an ad out for an OTTB who needs an experienced rider. How many inquiries per day to ask if the horse is “beginner safe”?

Cath needs to "quickly" check her horses before work. If shes in her work uniform, what are the chances they've busted through the electric tape and are in the hay paddock requiring her to walk through the boggy gully in her navy blue work pants and trainers? Part b - what is the likelihood of the same breakout happening on a day she has her gumboots in the car?

Suzan has a show on Saturday. How many shoes does her horse lose Friday night?

Chaya tells her husband she’s popping into the barn “just for a bit” at 2pm. The barn is 45m from her home. What time will she get home that night?

Mary is running late for her lesson.
Did her horse...
A.) roll in the mud.
B.) go swimming in the pond.
C.) lose one or more shoes
D) All of the above

Sarah decides she finally saved enough for a second horse. From the moment she speaks this out loud, how long will it take for her current horse to have a medical emergency costing every bit of said saved $??

Jolene has a 9:00 AM doctors appointment and it is sleeting outside and windy. There are 2 Paints, 1 Haflinger, 2 mules and a half-Arab in the pasture. Which one will colic and which one will get out of the fence?

The outstanding balance has been paid off at the vet clinic. How many hours until Joe has to call the vet for an emergency?

If Suzy is looking forward to show season and her horse is feeling confident and prepared, how much will the vet bill be for the pasture accident that puts him out of commission til next season??

If Amanda buys a custom saddle for her show horse, how long before that horse sustains a career ending injury?

Karen puts a sale ad up for a mid-5 figure horse. How many people will ask about price ($45k - low side of mid 5) and then say its “way out of my budget”?

Brittany puts her muck boots on over her work slacks to quickly dump a bucket of feed in the pasture on her way to work. What percentage of her slacks have mud on them after her boot suctions into the mud and she topples over?

If Terri catches up her horse on the first try what are the odds that another horse will come up behind her and push her into the mud? Part 2....how long did it take for the barn hands to stop laughing?

If Christina posts a funny meme about vets and such, how long before her horse injures himself?
 
I wish to submit my answers:
Cowpony said:
Just saw this on FB. Not cheeky or ridiculous, but quite funny.

A bit of fun for the day :-)
If Sarah carries 5 flakes of hay while wearing 2 jackets and a turtleneck, what percentage will end up in her bra? What if it’s “the good bra you don’t wear to the barn but did today”?
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Everyday bra: 1/2 a flake
Good bra: increase to 3/4 of a flake
Cowpony said:
Sharon put an ad out for an OTTB who needs an experienced rider. How many inquiries per day to ask if the horse is “beginner safe”?
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Average: 4
More like 10 on weekends and school holidays
Cowpony said:
Cath needs to "quickly" check her horses before work. If shes in her work uniform, what are the chances they've busted through the electric tape and are in the hay paddock requiring her to walk through the boggy gully in her navy blue work pants and trainers? Part b - what is the likelihood of the same breakout happening on a day she has her gumboots in the car?
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Part a: 82% change they've broken out
Part b: 7.5% change she has boots in her car
Cowpony said:
Suzan has a show on Saturday. How many shoes does her horse lose Friday night?
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>=1 shoe lost on Friday evening
Cowpony said:
Chaya tells her husband she’s popping into the barn “just for a bit” at 2pm. The barn is 45m from her home. What time will she get home that night?
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45 min to the barn
30 min get out of car and greet everyone (human and animal)
20 min to get horse in and tack up
Oh someone is going on a great hack, I'll go with them: 1h30
Untack and put horse away 35 min (extra cuddles necessary)
40 min "where did the time go!"
45 min back from the barn

She will be back by 7pm (if he's lucky!)
Cowpony said:
Mary is running late for her lesson.
Did her horse...
A.) roll in the mud.
B.) go swimming in the pond.
C.) lose one or more shoes
D) All of the above
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D) obviously!
Cowpony said:
Sarah decides she finally saved enough for a second horse. From the moment she speaks this out loud, how long will it take for her current horse to have a medical emergency costing every bit of said saved $??
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Just about long enough for her to have found and fallen in love with the 2nd horse, but not yet actually bought it
Cowpony said:
Jolene has a 9:00 AM doctors appointment and it is sleeting outside and windy. There are 2 Paints, 1 Haflinger, 2 mules and a half-Arab in the pasture. Which one will colic and which one will get out of the fence?
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Id 'say one of the paints is colicking and the half arab has escaped and doesn't want to come back
Cowpony said:
The outstanding balance has been paid off at the vet clinic. How many hours until Joe has to call the vet for an emergency?
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5 weeks = 35 days = 840 hours (give or take 17 hours)
Cowpony said:
If Suzy is looking forward to show season and her horse is feeling confident and prepared, how much will the vet bill be for the pasture accident that puts him out of commission til next season??
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Not enough information but will be proportionate to how much Suzy wanted to go to the show season
Cowpony said:
If Amanda buys a custom saddle for her show horse, how long before that horse sustains a career ending injury?
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About 3 years and the next horse is a totally different shape
Cowpony said:
Karen puts a sale ad up for a mid-5 figure horse. How many people will ask about price ($45k - low side of mid 5) and then say its “way out of my budget”?
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Roughly 6 out of 10 inquiries
Cowpony said:
Brittany puts her muck boots on over her work slacks to quickly dump a bucket of feed in the pasture on her way to work. What percentage of her slacks have mud on them after her boot suctions into the mud and she topples over?
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50% for the fronts of the slacks
15% for the bottom of the back of the slacks
9% random splatter
total 74%
Cowpony said:
If Terri catches up her horse on the first try what are the odds that another horse will come up behind her and push her into the mud? Part 2....how long did it take for the barn hands to stop laughing?
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Chances of being knocked over: 4.8%
the barn hands will stop laughing continuously after about 12 min but will keep retelling and laughing about it for the next 7 years
Cowpony said:
If Christina posts a funny meme about vets and such, how long before her horse injures himself?
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minus five minutes, she's about to get a call from the barn
 
Cowpony said:
Cath needs to "quickly" check her horses before work. If shes in her work uniform, what are the chances they've busted through the electric tape and are in the hay paddock requiring her to walk through the boggy gully in her navy blue work pants and trainers? Part b - what is the likelihood of the same breakout happening on a day she has her gumboots in the car?
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Not work but a hospital appointment 100% (this morning, see also below), did have my muckboots though.
Cowpony said:
Mary is running late for her lesson.
Did her horse...
A.) roll in the mud.
B.) go swimming in the pond.
C.) lose one or more shoes
D) All of the above
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Answer E) acute colic (2 years ago still traumatised)
Cowpony said:
Jolene has a 9:00 AM doctors appointment and it is sleeting outside and windy. There are 2 Paints, 1 Haflinger, 2 mules and a half-Arab in the pasture. Which one will colic and which one will get out of the fence?
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Trick question the answer is the cob (this morning) no colic 🙌
Cowpony said:
The outstanding balance has been paid off at the vet clinic. How many hours until Joe has to call the vet for an emergency?
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I am looking at the bill :cool: 🤞 don't jinx it.
Cowpony said:
Brittany puts her muck boots on over her work slacks to quickly dump a bucket of feed in the pasture on her way to work. What percentage of her slacks have mud on them after her boot suctions into the mud and she topples over?
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Surprisingly only about 10% but I didn't have a morning meeting, also both hands 100% covered.

True story!
 
I'm Dun said:
Its from an off grid group I'm on and they have been ripped to pieces over it. Sadly theres still people interested because theres always someone desparate enough for a change that they will do it.
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It’s such a shame as I dream of finding an actual opportunity! But 1/3 an acre for 20 hours? They’re laughing and sadly someone will be taken advantage of. The amount of times we’ve enquired about stuff and ended up in crazy town!! Can I ask what group you’re in? (Feel free to ignore but always trying to find new groups to keep an eye on!)
 
little_critter said:
Another question to add to the quiz:
Critter advertises a saddle for sale on FB. How many people will message asking “is this available?” before vanishing in to thin air never to be heard from again.
(And yes, I’m replying promptly saying ‘yes it’s available’)
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Oh yes, that famous "is this available?" because some numpty is bored - drives me loopy 🙈
 
4Hoofed said:
It’s such a shame as I dream of finding an actual opportunity! But 1/3 an acre for 20 hours? They’re laughing and sadly someone will be taken advantage of. The amount of times we’ve enquired about stuff and ended up in crazy town!! Can I ask what group you’re in? (Feel free to ignore but always trying to find new groups to keep an eye on!)
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I think its just off grid and vanlife groups with a couple of caravan pages as well. I'm quite the killjoy as I'm always telling people about how its never going to happen as if the land has planning then its worth mega bucks and they either sell or build on it themselves sadly. Theres ways round it sometimes, but nothing would get me to spend money on something unless I owned the land it was sitting on as youve just got zero rights. And councils are even sending up drones now to check for planning breaches.

Something will have to give sooner or later as so many people cant even find a private rental and the renters reform bill is about to make it a million times worse. But people dont want others living in vans or caravans either. TBH when they have no access to water or toilet emptying I wouldnt either as places just get trashed.
 
I'm Dun said:
I think its just off grid and vanlife groups with a couple of caravan pages as well. I'm quite the killjoy as I'm always telling people about how its never going to happen as if the land has planning then its worth mega bucks and they either sell or build on it themselves sadly. Theres ways round it sometimes, but nothing would get me to spend money on something unless I owned the land it was sitting on as youve just got zero rights. And councils are even sending up drones now to check for planning breaches.

Something will have to give sooner or later as so many people cant even find a private rental and the renters reform bill is about to make it a million times worse. But people dont want others living in vans or caravans either. TBH when they have no access to water or toilet emptying I wouldnt either as places just get trashed.
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I saw a post on a local group from a nomadic family who wanted to set up a mobile home on someone’s land.
They were offering labour in exchange for this but the caveat was the landowner needed to provide the static/mobile home for the couple and their 5 children….
The post droned on about them wanting to be at one with nature and be secluded.
Cynic that I am, I just thought it’ll be one whole lot of hassle.
 
Found this gem:

hi people!!
(Pony) is up for loan looking for someone to love him as much as his mum!! he is a 14.2h yearling gelding (2 in may) he has developed a spicy attitude over winter so will need someone experienced or have experienced parents with them at all times
beau offers experience in hand and stable work opportunities to take him out in hand on his own or with people that ride he will also be out in hand showing this summer!
he will need someone down with him all day or someone who can get down twice a day…beau would suit someone who is either looking to love a pony from the ground or someone who is looking to get more experience with horses before riding we are based in (place) please get back to me if u think he sounds like a fit for you
 
I actually would quite like a non riding share, but the ads for them always seem like they are by people who have less of a clue than me. Which is a low bar. Especially when it comes to young horses!
 
If it's a safe as houses little dope on a rope, then a novice child could enjoy pampering them, but you're unlikely to find someone committed to twice daily visits. Or a horse someone could do groundwork with could make a nice share, but if the owner is expecting to be able to step away from the care side more than once or twice a week, I think they'd be lucky.

Saw one on our local FB group the other week. Someone with an 11 year old dog, diagnosed with lymphoma I believe. Inviting people to send them money to help with the vets bill.
 
SaddlePsych'D said:
I actually would quite like a non riding share, but the ads for them always seem like they are by people who have less of a clue than me. Which is a low bar. Especially when it comes to young horses!
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See I could understand liking a none ridden share, but ironically, for me at least, if I was going to let someone handle one of my horses, it would have to be my ridden mare (A neighbour with absolutely no horse experience at all led her to a field for me once when I had my hands full with her foal; I've handed her lead rope to a timid 6yo at a show while helped with a more flighty horse). I would want to know someone very well around horse before I let them near my youngsters and while my Old Lady is kind, she needs to walk fast and is strong as well as getting gradually spookier as her cataracts develop.
 
TheChestnutThing said:
Found this gem:

hi people!!
(Pony) is up for loan looking for someone to love him as much as his mum!! he is a 14.2h yearling gelding (2 in may) he has developed a spicy attitude over winter so will need someone experienced or have experienced parents with them at all times
beau offers experience in hand and stable work opportunities to take him out in hand on his own or with people that ride he will also be out in hand showing this summer!
he will need someone down with him all day or someone who can get down twice a day…beau would suit someone who is either looking to love a pony from the ground or someone who is looking to get more experience with horses before riding we are based in (place) please get back to me if u think he sounds like a fit for you
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Do you dream of training young stock but are allergic to money? Boy do I have the job for you. My yearling makes me wee myself with fear so Im looking for someone to train them. Bring a tent! You’ll need to be there all day. And there’s more! You can clean his stable out while I’m out winning the rosettes for your hard work. Dont delay! Apply today. He’s sure to be snapped up quickly 😊😊
 
WANTED pony suitable for 3 yr old

MUST be half dead and bombproof for the child to actually handle lead and groom (under adult supervision obviously ) and ride

Must be good to catch etc

Pref No bigger than 11.2hh

Pony will have the most loving home with a very good friend of mine living on a private stud yard

PREF loan potentially LWVTB

Please let me know if you know anything 💕

Pony will be housed in Xxxx
 
dorsetladette said:
WANTED pony suitable for 3 yr old

MUST be half dead and bombproof for the child to actually handle lead and groom (under adult supervision obviously ) and ride

Must be good to catch etc

Pref No bigger than 11.2hh

Pony will have the most loving home with a very good friend of mine living on a private stud yard

PREF loan potentially LWVTB

Please let me know if you know anything 💕

Pony will be housed in Xxxx
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The 'half dead' made me laugh 🤣 To be fair while it's a bit blunt at least they're realistic and might be a nice semi-retirement home for an oldie to be led around and fussed over. And not the usual "must be bombproof but also capable of taking my novice child to HOYS" that you see!
 
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